TTC for 6 months+ thread #1

[Shemozzle]

Anyone care to join me? The monthly bus threads just starting to get me down, I'm starting to feel bitter about congratulating all the first month of trying BFP's and so I need to step away. I was very lucky to have conceived accidentally somewhat miraculously with my dd1 and dd2 and always imagined I'd struggle if actually trying, and here we are.

I'm 29, dp is 43
TTC number 3
Cycle 6
Cd1

No drinking! That makes it difficult haha. Sounds like he is willing to give it a good go, bless him waking you up at 5am. Mine was more nervous and accused me of treating him like a "baby machine" when I tried to push the issue on any particular day So I had to back right off haha. Giving a general window works better for me than 'it must be tonight'. I hope yours responds well to your talk maybe he doesn't realise how often it should be, and will up his game once he is informed of your expectations.

Hi shemozzle
Welcome back!
I totally know what you mean about the frustration about sex on optimum days. I have had a few frustrated months when DP has been ill or too tired (he gets up in the early hours for work - way before me).

I love mancomb's suggestion!

I'm currently day CD27 of what is normally a 24/25 day cycle. Am convinced AF will arrive any second (there has been frequent pant checking for the past two days). Am holding off testing as have none in the house and can't face s BPN. My body gives me a 28-29 day cycle every once in a while to keep me on my toes and there's always a BFN with them.

Still, I'm trying to dance that merry line of staying positive but not getting my hopes up... Time will tell!

p.s I meant the suggestion about agent provocateur

shemozzle we have had a similar situation with dtd. Before Ttc we were a once a week couple (his choice not mine ). As we began trying I got really fixated on the most optimum day and once actually gave him performance anxiety and he just couldn't do it. I cried...it was a horrible experience for both of us. Don't make the same mistake I did! Since then we now focus on dtd every 2-3 days during days 10-18. Dh will now joke - is it optional or mandatory? He's cool if I say we need to do it today or tomorrow but you can choose. And it's really helped our sex life! Now it's normal for us and we can dtd sometimes 4-5 times a week and it's not a problem. The other thing that has really helped is if we think we might be tired or not super into it we try to do it when we get in, before dinner and getting comfy on the sofa. We're more likely to opt out if it's later and right before bed when we are tired and can't be bothered. Don't know if you do bbt temping but if you do, you can tell once ovulation is done and the window has closed so you can give him a rest for being a good boy

Ah thanks everyone. I mentioned this on a bus recently, and that we average once a week when not ttc anyway and that it took me a while to come to terms with it as I'd like it a bit more and someone replied that they dtd every day at least because they were super young and dp was super cute. That made me feel fantastic. I'm glad some of you know how I feel. bluebird LOL sounds like a hideous experience but brilliant your already joking about it and have found a good pattern. Sex out of bed or in the day I think is off the cards. I'd love it but it's just not something we've ever done since dd. it took me a long time to get over the fact we just don't do morning sex. Anyway I think mancombe is correct and he genuinely doesn't realise how small the window is.

So here's how I've tackled it. He's out tonight and he's text to ask if I'm watching Call the Midwife on catchup. He was joking to dd1 earlier that I like to watch my crap baby programmes when he is out and I said that it was actually historical drama. so I replied:
'Yeah it's just finished. It was about the prejudice of water gypsys, high rise flats, the introduction of the contraceptive pill and the ethical implications of unmarried sex. Which FYI we don't practice nearly as much as we need to if you want to conceive this year. Or decade. I think we might be about to miss this month too. So let's move to Penzance, you can get that job and earn 43k and we can save up for a couple of years to buy a barge and then you take an early retirement so we can be water gypsys.' I sent him a job advert for something in Penzance today and have been trying to persuade him to apply. Chance is slim! Anyway this is about as serious as I get when having a 'talk'. I will report back if my casual approach does the trick. I might have to send him a screenshot of the fertile window next time...

I'm having cramps right now so I do think the nearly positive OPKs would have turned positive in the night. I think from looking back at my apps that I ovulate about 3 days after OPK so should be on with a chance if he puts out.

lucky I can't believe you've managed to get this far without testing!! Well done. Any symptoms?

shemozzle I have had soooo many symptoms (as I do every month - or as I convince myself anyway). This months symptoms: sore boobs, increased sense of smell, crazy vivid dreams, cramping, tiredness, craving certain foods...etc
Do you know, one month I even convinced myself that because our cat had started sitting on my lap in the evening, I must be pregnant. Because cats can sometimes sense these things, right?! It couldn't have been that he is a new rescue cat that we had adopted a few months ago and he was just finally settling in.
Anyone else literally going crazy with their symptom spotting? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

P.s AF has arrived On to the next cycle and another chance...

Sorry to hear about AF Lucky.

I do the crazy symptom spotting too. I can't help it, it seems to be all I think about during my tww! What did we used to think about before ttc?!

Ha! I have no idea lovelyfishy

Oh lucky that sucks, I'm sorry. You had all the right symptoms too. One month I had all the symptoms and got a very faint line one day and the a long series of negatives before a late AF. So I think that must have been a very early chemical.

I think the cat thing really does happen, but I remember it being later on when I had a big warm bump. I think they just like the heat! MIL's really timid cat used to always sneak out from hiding when I was boobing dd and would be all over me. They must be able to smell the milk I think. Strange creatures!

The text did the trick last night btw, dtd when he came in late thank goodness and I feel much less anxious now incase I am ov'ing early.

Aww lucky I'm sorry she got you

From my "smell" Dh can tell I'm ovulating apparently. The fanny whiffer sniffer dog strikes again! He's usually spot on with my pheromonal changes! I'm tempted to do an opk to see if he's right!

Sorry Lucky I got AF too.

You totally have to test that Starky! If he's right that'd be so cool!!

I said I'd be chill this month but I can feel that wavering... Does it count as chill to use opk's?

Many for you Mancomb, you deserve it.

I did an opk and he is indeed right! I got two clear dark lines! Don't know if I'm at the front or back end of lh surge as I usually get 2-3 days of positives but I'm genuinely amazed! He's got a gift!

Oh no, sorry mancomb

starky that is super weird! no need for OPK's now!

fishy I don't think OPK's are obsessive. I really wish I'd started using them when we first started ttc.

One of DP's friends told him they are expecting again today. Their youngest is the same age as ours so even though I don't know them particularly well I'm a bit jealous. I never thought I'd get like that about pregnancy announcements but I don't like to hear any atm. How selfish is that?

This is my first time on Mumsnet..so hi! :)
This is our 8th month ttc #4.

xx

Sorry mancomb It sucks, doesn't it.

Starky - that's the craziest thing ever. Is your DH a wolf-man?

Welcome Sammi - what CD are you on?

Sorry lucky and mancomb. I'm joining you... af got me too. Had a little pity party and now trying to turn on the positivity.

Welcome sammi!

Hi sammi

Sorry bluebird. Welcome to the pity party club, it is not so bad here, we have booze . . On the bright side, at least we have not become "those people" that we hate who get a bfp as soon as we join the thread causing bitter jealousy.

Starky what a cool talent! Amazing! See if you can get him to sniff whether you are pregged up or not, you could save a fortune on pee sticks.

Bad luck bluebird. Still onwards and upwards (or upduffed)...

I'm focus in on new cycle already. We've booked a week off over my fertile time and are going to Cornwall so hopefully that will help with lots of time to dtd and plenty of relaxation.

DH went to the docs to request a SA and has got the number to book an appointment at the hospital. He has to produce a sample and deliver it within an hour. I hope he can deliver under pressure!

I'm a bit nervous about what all our tests will reveal but at least it feels like we're taking control.

How is everyone else doing? Any testing days coming up?

Ooh, a holiday in Cornwall sounds nice! Maybe I need to look up last minute deals...

CD 11 so no testing for a few weeks for me. Instead entering the "fertile window" according to Ovia.

Mancomb I get that too, you feel really jealous/envious of others when they get pregnant especially when it's quick, then end up feeling like a horrible person and really guilty for even thinking it!! Even if I can't have a baby I'd wish everyone else a baby, it just wouldn't stop me from still wanting one too!

Welcome Sammi.

Hi all
We're in our seventh month of trying. It's very annoying that I'm not pregnant yet, my sister is and I cannot shake off the feeling of jealousy. My last cycle I used the sticks as my periods have been varying. I do not know what else I can do.

Oh peaches - it's so tough, isn't it. One of my best friends had just had a beautiful baby and another is 6months pregnant. I'm so envious of them. I'm happy for them but can't help wishing it was me.

It sounds like you are doing the right things. You could always temp as well, although it's not for me. I'm not a morning person and by the time I remember I have to take my temp before doing anything else, I've already gone for a wee / had a swig of coffee / got up.

lovely I'm really looking forward to our trip! You should do it

Welcome Peaches.

I'm not one for temping either. For one my shifts at work would make it really difficult. I've just downloaded the Ovia app so hoping that helps this month!

A trip would be great, but I'm not sure we have the time! A lot of our Ann al leave this year has gone to friends weddings. May have to wait a bit.

lucky mancomb I wondered that myself! He can usually smell a few days before I'm due on af so we'll definitely have to wait and see! He is a bloodhound with a side business in eggs it would seem

I really got my hopes up, my period was even later this time and I had new symptoms. It's getting harder as every month goes by.

luckyblackkitty I hope your week of relaxing helps you, we're of abroad in a few weeks time, I'm hoping some sun and escaping from life will help us to relax too.