TTC for 6 months+ thread #1

[Shemozzle]

Anyone care to join me? The monthly bus threads just starting to get me down, I'm starting to feel bitter about congratulating all the first month of trying BFP's and so I need to step away. I was very lucky to have conceived accidentally somewhat miraculously with my dd1 and dd2 and always imagined I'd struggle if actually trying, and here we are.

I'm 29, dp is 43
TTC number 3
Cycle 6
Cd1

Hello lucky ... Hoping this cycle is lucky for you!
Ikwym about cycles of chill/crazy. Mine are normally... Over AF...begin to chill. Remain chill until CD7. Then start obsessing about OPKs even tho I said I wouldn't. Then feel stressed until AF arrives again. Then chill for a bit. However this time I'm really going to chill the whole cycle. It's no good being stressed.

Hi Kat. This is going to make me sound like a complete alchie but I'm like that with drinking. I keep declaring that I'm going to give up but then get despondent and think fuck it I'm not going to get pregnant so why deprive myself of another pleasure.
No don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking back jäger bombs or anything...its just a couple of glasses of wine at most every now and again, but now DH just rolls his eyes when I announce that I'm not drinking. Ha! Here's to us crazy ladies raises glass to toast

Hi lucky welcome to the thread. I agree...I'm so bored of Ttc. And I hate when people say just relax, go on a holiday or change jobs. I've been on 3 holidays over the last year and nothing! And I don't want to change jobs because you'd then have to stop trying for a while to still qualify for mat pay. And I think changing jobs is more stressful than staying at one I sometimes like/sometimes don't.

The thing I find the hardest is how people who haven't had to wait long just really don't understand because it was easy for them. And even if I get preggo now I still think some of the shine of the process is gone now. Never thought Ttc would be anything but exciting. Didn't think it would be the hardest thing I've ever done!

Lucky I don't think you're an alcohy, I think society these days seems to encourage quite a large amount of social drinking and it's become the "norm" - all evening/weekend social activities that adults do seem to revolve around alcohol. I used to drink more than I do now but unfortunately I have a few glasses and I'm tipsy. Which is frustrating because 2 glasses in you just get the taste for it, right?!

Bluebird Ikwym. I've always managed to do everything I want or get everything I want... I passed my exams I got my degree I got my job.... It's like you work hard/really want something and you shall get it. TTC is a whole different thing. Really putting in effort (OPK/temp/special diet/whatever) and/or reallllllyyyy wanting it have absolutely no relation whatsoever to if you will actually ever conceive or not ! So frustrating!

When I was working in the nightclubs I used to drink every night, and I mean every night! It went with the lifestyle, but I was single and looking back, probably quite unhappy! I cut down when I met Dh, and now ill have phases of not drinking for months on end, interspersed with having a couple of glasses of wine every now and then. I can't take the pace anymore! I think I've seen Dh drunk once in the 3 years we've been together!

I'm cd 11..or 12...but I'm still quite chilled about it at the moment. I had a weird moment last night with my mum, told her ndn was pregnant and she was really pleased but then there was a sort of pregnant pause excuse the pun and I don't know if it's because I'm sensitive to it at the minute but it was really weird and it was almost like there was a "but I'm not pregnant! " moment which went unsaid and then she changed the subject really quickly.

I had the same with alcohol. Not that I drink much, but I remember thinking things like "I'll probably be pregnant over Christmas so I won't be able to have any mulled wine, oh what a shame!". Thinking back on that makes me laugh/cry now! So I now have the week around AF to have a glass if I want before stopping again in the hopes it'll help.

Bluebird I'm with you on the not changing job, I can't think of anything worse to do right now! No additional maternity pay, having to get to know new colleagues and boss again- not fun!

Kat I totally agree with the effort factor. One month everything was timed perfectly, I'd taken all my folic acid and vitamins, dtd loads over ovulation, no alcohol, and no pregnancy!!

Kat I've been the same with with working hard to get what I want in life. This has certainly been a wake up call for me.

bluebird I agree that some of the enjoyment has been taken out of pregnancy. Still, maybe that will change when I get my BFP and all the excitement that I initially had will come back.

I'm sure you're right lucky. A bfp is a bfp no matter how long it's waited for and will be amazing.

Re not having mulled wine... I didn't buy a new winter coat this year that I wanted because I assumed that I would be too pregnant to fit in it!! Lol! What a funny! Now eyeing up summer clothes and thinking... Fuck it I may as well just buy it. But then if I am preggo ever there's not going to be much chance of fitting into it ever again.

P.s. What's ndn ?

Ooooohhh next door neighbour??

Yes sorry kat next door neighbour. She's all gorgeous and glamorous too, as well as pregnancy glowy!

lucky I'm really hoping that after the disappointment, getting a bfp will be even better than it would have been if I hadn't had to wait!

Hi guys, just catching up. I hope that your all well and persevering through this Ttc madness.

I'm having a bad Monday! DP had his sperm results back this morning - not good. The result was 'lower than optimum' and he needs to re test in three months. He hasn't had a detailed report back yet so I'm just waiting on the doctor to call him. I'm really struggling with it not being in my control and obviously thinking the worst ATM.

any advice would really help! X

Oh zoe, I'm sorry that wasn't the result you were hoping for.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice. I can only offer hugs and a sympathetic ear. You're slightly ahead of us. I had my bloods done last week and DP has an appt this week to ask for a SA.

Hopefully some others can come along with some words of wisdom.

Aww thank you Kitty. That made me smile. I wish you luck and lots and lots of healthy swimmers xx

Hi ZoeFitness - is your DH taking the men's conception vitamins? They can make all the difference and they say need to be taking for 3 mths to help make a substantial change on swimmers. Worked for us :)

Hi lily, no he isn't. Where can I get them from? And are they just called 'pre conception vitamins.'

Thank you so much for your post, that is so helpful.

'Men's conception vitamins.' Darn predictive text!

We use the his and hers pregnacare preconception ones from Boots or cheaper via Amazon. Boots do their own his and hers as well which are same (just cheaper) - you both get all the vits you need :) (folic acid included!)

I always have to remind DH though - he is terrible at remembering! They cost around £11-15 though but definitely worth it!

Kat I did the same shopping thing with buying a dress for a friends up-coming wedding. I thought I'd best leave buying the dress until the last minute to accommodate a huge bump. Not needed now, bit of over planning! Plus there's be quite a few old school friends there who are pregnant or will have just had babies...

All that said, I'm still on board the chill boat.

Sorry to hear about your news Zoe. I read somewhere once that making sure you wash vegetables/fruits before eating or cooking them boosted fertility? There were two groups all trying to conceive and the ones who washed had a noticeably quicker percentage! Can't remember where I read this though so I have nothing to back it up.

Zoe sorry to hear that you got that stressful news. I have seen loads of posts on here of success stories where a low sperm count has been improved to excellent/above average with lifestyle changes. I have my DH on the men's pregnacare conception/fertility vitamins too. Get him to try them along with cutting down alcohol and coffee, no hot baths/laptops on laps, boxers not briefs, healthy diet. At least you know it is something probably fixable. Fingers crossed for the re-test in 3 months to show a great improvement.

How is everyone getting on?
I am absolutely not on the chill boat myself. I'm on the driving myself utterly bonkers boat. AF due tomorrow and BFN this morning. But I have no spotting yet, which is so rare for me. And a triphasic chart, temps still high. So clinging on to hope that she won't show up tomorrow despite a massive skin break out and moodiness. Don't want a seventh go on the merry-go-round of disappointment!

Hi everyone. Sorry for thread starting and then scarpering! I started it on cd1 and after the initial days depression I managed to not think about ttc for a week or so so tried to stay away from this board. Now I'm back. Period was unusually heavy but only 2-3 days and of course I tested as I have read all the happy stories of short periods = pregnancy. Bfn of course!

Anyway, had some ewcm yesterday so did an OPK and got a strong but not positive second line. Did another before bed and very nearly positive. Dp wasn't interested in sex and I'm so worried about it. I didn't say anything, I don't want to have to tell him I'm ovulating to have sex each time like I did last month and it is infuriating me. I just wish we had sex more often. I'm going to have to talk to him seriously about it. Anyway, I'm only on cd9 so the nearly positive OPK has really thrown me. Just did another and barely a line there so we've either missed our chance or it's too early in the day to detect the LH. I'm just so gutted about it today and I'm not even supposed to be in my fertile window.

bluebird!thanks for sharing what GP Sid. I know mine would be the same so I've decided to hold off another few months before going.

Hi shemozzle. You will probably get another, actual surge and a corresponding actual positive opk later on. Almost lines don't mean you have missed it, they are normal I think?
I had the same problem with DH not being interested on the right days it made me want to strangle him! But actually that tension and pressure just made the problem worse. Be careful with your 'serious talk' as men can be turned off by that stuff sadly. What worked for me was a trip to Ann Summers for sexy underwear/outfits and stuff. That put the fun back into it for both of us. Do you think your DH might respond well to old fashioned seduction?

Even better if you can afford it www.agentprovocateur.com/gb_en

Thanks mancombe yes I'm hoping it was a random surge and not a positive? Fingers crossed. I don't think seduction would work, just too out of character! I think it doesn't help that he's temporarily given up drinking. Usually when I'm in my fertile window I pick up a few nice beers for us and that's all it takes . Other than that we are a once a week shag couple in general which just isn't enough for ttc. Last month I got a positive an evening he was playing a gig a few hours drive away and I really didn't want to miss our chances. I've seen so many posts on here of people who have talked about fertile window and asked their OH's to put out on ovulation day and it's gone horribly wrong with them feeling used or having performance anxiety etc so in previous months I hadn't said anything but still managed to dtd on the right days. This time I texted him and asked if he could think about waking me up and doing the honours when he got in around 3am because it was our best night for conception. He said he'd think about it. He didn't get in until after 5am because they broke down on the motorway but he did wake me up for sex! And then the next day he was asking all about how I knew etc so I think actually telling him rather than too subtly trying it on works better. i don't want to make it too big of an issue either though.