April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

We have put our tree (branch thing) up. It is lovely. DS just sat gazing at it with big eyes when he was ready for bed. Soooo cute. We have put it in the kitchen/breakfast/sofa room , and a small one in the dinng room, a small one in the conservatory and we are putting our big proper tree in the sitting room. We haven't put it up for a couple of years because it is stupidly big but DH has put it together tonight and I will decorate it tomorrow. DS will need keeping an eye on with it I think. He can't quite reach the branches on the branch thing. It is on a large square coffee table in a corner and just out of his reach, but he'll be all over the tree, one of the cats is in it as we speak.
He has learned Little Donkey but just repeats 'lil okney' all the way through. He is so cute. Still has no idea about presents or Santa but DH read him The Night Before Christmas tonight - he sat very quietly and then said 'Me tired' - no real interest.

DH is having snacks and a bottle of beer and I am having a mug of cappucino.Exciting night in the north-east. Baby has been moving.

I bet your big tree will look amazing lulu :)
Glad to hear baby has been moving!

Speaking of moving I've still not got the keys to my house!!!! they are literally taking the pee! My job is a 0 hour contract which they knew, and landlord accepted me on the house with that. But now they won't release the keys to me unless I can get an average annual wage from my work and they said they can't do that as I've only just started and as is a 0 hour contract i could come out with anything so aren't able to do an average. They've asked for a guarantor and I can't get ones of those as I only have my mom and unfortunately she won't be able to be one :/
So I have no idea wtf is going to happen! I've already paid £2000 to them for deposits and admin fees!
Am I even gonna get that back if they say I can no longer have the house? But I've also signed the contract/tenancy agreement and set up a standing order for the rent!!
I've already paid for the rent since
Monday so I'm paying for a house I'm not allowed in?
It's just peeing me off. I'm so stressed and my depression and anxiety are really getting to me. All this isn't good for the baby :(
And I've already given in my notice to this house I'm in atm, as the new letting agents said to do, so I need to be out asap!
:(

I lost the house :( :'(
They completely messed things up.
My notice has been given in for this house and now I'm at treat of being homeless by the end of this month :(
Going in to speak to my current landlord to beg to stay and void my notice

At threat*

Oh no Cupcake!
How did that happen? If you have signed the contract and paid a deposit surely they can't back out.

That's awful! Do you think your landlord will say yes?

They just messed it up. :(
They asked for guarantor and I got one then said 'oh no actually we can't accept the guarantor they need to earn £30K a year' so I said can I have 2 guarantors n they said no and took the house back :(
I'm just fed up tbh.
It's like everything is going wrong.

They've not done this a fair way and my uncle reckons I can take them to court.

It would cost a fortune to take them to court.

Will your landlord let you stay in your house now? Did you go and see him?

Have you got your £2000 back off them?

It's awful.

I know it would :( I just feel so used!

I went and spoke to the letting agents and they were contacting the landlord, and said if I don't hear off them then it's fine and landlord doesn't mind if I stay. I've heard nothing since yesterday so I'm guessing it's fine? I hope so anyway.

Eugh so much unnecessary stress.

Cupcake, That is awful about the house!!!! Wtf did they do that for, they knew your circumstances!!! I can't beleive how hard it is to get private rented now a days. that is ridiculous about putting a Facebook status up! They're his kids for god sake!

Lulu, it sounds very festive in your house! Lots of trees are bil and sil settling in ok too?

Get proper internet on Monday!!! I can't wait! Have also had the council housing people out, they said before they even come in it was unsuitable for children here, but is better than nothing. I love it inside, although it's very very small, it's nice. But it's just getting in and out because it's a basement flAt with no lift.

Ds is very excited for Christmas! He loves santa. And dd is a month old already!!

Have been having quite a few problems with stbxh though the cat is still at his house, i can't have her as I'm in a basement flat right on a busy main road, he keeps threatening to have her put Down

His mom, who didn't bother getting ds anything for his birthday (he was two the other week!!) is saying she wants to see them again now and I got a message this afternoon saying tomorrow! I have said no because I am busy and haven't heard any more.

Ducky why have they said it's unsuitable for children?

Oh god a month old already!!! That's flown by!! And happy bday to ur ds for a couple of weeks Ago! :)

Ur stbxh wouldn't be able to get ur cat put down. They won't just put a cat down if there's no medical reason.
Eugh I wouldn't even bother letting her see any of the dc's she just sounds like poison.

Me and the kids have been out for dinner for 2 of my cousins bdays!
Had a carvery and also got a huge piece of cake to take home!
I've just eaten it with a cup of tea and I don't think I've ever felt so full! This poor baby probably has no room left at all and on top of that braxton hicks started yesterday and they are so tight!

I'm sure this baby is gonna come early :( my belly ifms very low and it's really uncomfortable now. I'm only 27 weeks

Was meant to get internet yesterday, they couldn't do it because they need to do something underground to connect it! Have brought internet for the night tho.

They said it's unsuitable because there is no parking, i have to park on a busy main road and try and get both the dc out the car, then there are big concrete steps up to the flats then steep steps down to where I am which are really difficult to get up and down carrying the car seat and helping ds

I'm also pretty annoyed, we have no heating because the landlord can't be bothered to pay to get it fixed so have these ugly heaters everywhere, and two days ago I lost my hot water, I have to wait until Thursday to get it fixed

Oooh I would love a carvery right now! How does ds1 sleep now cupcake?

Oh no that's awful! :(

It's a pain when hot water and heating go!! The boiler here tends to go every winter

Ds1 is actually great sleeper now typical aye!! Only had to wait till he was 3 years old! But he sleeps right the way through and doesn't wake in the night. Some mornings I have to come back upstairs to wake him up as it's gone 8!

How's the dc's doing? :)

It is awful when your heating and hot water go off. Our boiler went off a couple of weeks ago - but it has a Home are agreement. They came out the next day and fixed it but the house was freezing. Hope you are sorted Ducky and your internet too.
Will the council rehouse you then? They should.

DS today in the park 'Run Mummy' as he ran to the pond. He is really quite fast. I was puffed catching him. I took him out for his lunch with SIL to a local cafe and he was so good - for half an hour then he went mad to run round so we had to leave.

DH is off now until after New Year so he will be entertaining DS and giving me a bit of a break. We are going to the nursery nativity on Monday. DS is a star and they sing 'Twinkle Twinkle'. He has been practising - it comes out as 'Tinkle Tinkle Lickle star' and then he gets odd words of the rest. VEry cute.

Still no internet here have been having problems trying to get it on! Got hot water fixed today! Still no heating tho!

That's great about ds1 sleeping tho cupcake! Have you changed anything or is it just him getting older you think?

Lulu that's so cute about his nativity! I didn't know they did plays that young! Bet your glad to have some rest while dh is off! How are you feeling?

I can't help but feel a bit crap recently.... feel like things keep going wrong. No internet and no heating for a start, then the council won't even look at my application to go on the list cus my solicitor is crap and isn't sending them confirmation that my equity won't be too much, then both the dc have been ill and I have been dealing with it completely alone. I was thinking of you cupcake, when you said you had no close friends, I'm the same and it's so lonely! I had a bit of a melt down this morning and just ended up crying. Ds has a cold, diarreah, he's teething, has a chest infection and has balinitis. He is so uncomfortable and I feel awful for him but he just wants to be held 24/7 and it's impossible with dd, who has caught the cold and wants all my attention too

I got angry because stbxh is going out partying, spending his money on himself and I'm paying every penny on the dc, clothes, food, nappies etc and have just had to book someone to babysit... 8 months in advance . He has none of them worries, and he's sat in a 3 bedroom house round the corner from my family when I'm sharing one room with 2 dc in a busy Part of town so can't see my family much because of crazy traffic.

Sorry for the moan!!

You have very right to moan Ducky. Have you started divorce proceedings? You can instruct your solicitor to write a letter by a date- they do what you tell them. Can you go through CSA for financial support from DH? You must feel very alone but at least you are rid of him.

The older children do the play at nursery. Ds and his little friends just come on as stars at the back and then come to the front with the helpers to sing the song with the bigger ones. Then they go off because they won't stand still apparently. He is excited though and keeps saying 'I a tinkle star, good boy'. DH and I are excited too.

Lulu, I bet DH is glad to be off for Christmas now :)
How did ds's play go?
My ds1 had a Christmas concert but he didn't sing and sat there and cried typical ds!!

Ducky, I agree with lulu. I'd contact CSA now. He should be contributing towards his children!!
Oh and feeling like crap and everything going wrong? I'm with u on that one!!! My anxiety and depression have hit rock bottom I feel. I cry every day. I'm heavily pregnant and I'm exhausted and doing everything on my own. I was supposed to have my 1st counselling appointment the other day.... I've waited 2 months for it.... 20 mins before my appointment they called and said it was cancelled as the psychotherapist was off :( they said there's no more appointments till middle of Feb! So I cried on the phone and said forget it. I'm due my baby 1st week of march febs too late I need help now. So they said 'well shall we discharge u then?' So I said yes.
I feel like I'm being ignored and left to deal with it all on my own! :(
I've begged for help from GP's to midwives and now a bloody psychotherapist can't even male time for me :( I'm a single pregnant mother with 2 young children at home too, surely I should be given help?

Ds2 has the sickness bug. He's been awake since 1am throwing up. He's drank water but won't eat a thing. This is the most ill he's ever been :(

Yes lulu the divorce has started, I can't wait for it all to be finalised! I haven't contacted csa because I know he will stop paying the bills if I do, then the house will be repossessed and I won't get any money from it which I need to pay my rubbish solicitor haha.

Oh cupcake I hope ds2 is feeling better soon, me and ds had that the other week, it's horrible.

Dd has now got a horrible cold and cough am taking her to the drs in the morning as she keeps throwing up almost whole feeds.

Well this weekend, I took dc to see stbxh. He tried to rearrange in the morning, I said no, he then said he needed to rearrange as he had been run over. I said if he had been run over he should be at hospital, not going to bed like he said he was, he then said he wasn't that bad so I said I will take the dc round.

I got round and all the curtains were closed, the house was filthy, he was in bed. I called him and heard him mutter something. ds was shouting him, no reply. 15 mins later, ds had been constantly shouting him so I went upstairs, I told him he got up now or we were leaving and he wouldn't see them until next week, he just said 'ok' so I went downstairs, ds looked full on heart broken and was screaming daddy and crying, so I went back upstairs and told him I can't believe he can lie in bed when his son, who he hasn't seen in a week, is stood down stairs crying for him. He just muttered that he was badly hurt. I pulled the covers off him and his arm was cut pretty badly and his face was swollen. He had crawled into bed with his arm bleeding and dirty clothes on. He eventually got up after we had been there, and ds had been screaming for him 25 minutes. He stank of booze. I don't know if he was telling the truth about being 'run over', he said a car hit him (he was on his bike), and drove off, apparently no one stopped. It was on a really busy road. Or I don't know if he just fell off his bike drunk, or if he drove into a car himself because he was drunk. I spose I'll never get the truth from him though.

And cupcake that is awful about the counselling! I can't believe they can do that to people who are struggling! Surely there must be away they can help you before that date, can you speak to your gp practice manager or something? I don't know if they could help? Or maybe complain to PALS?

You are so well rid of him Ducky.
Keep a note of every time you take the children and the state he is in, and every time he either does not turn up or tries to change things at the last minute. Is the house on the market?
That is awful about the counselling Cupcake. It might have really helped you. Can your mum or ex-h give you a bit of a break? Have you started divorce proceedings yet?
I can't remember if I have said, the baby is a girl. DH is over the moon! He has been thinking of all kinds of names - his current list is 25. It includes:
India
Evelyn
Clementine
Isobel
Indiana
Mary
Georgina
Bridget
Thea
Delphine
Thomasina
Mia
Anna
Ellen
Eleanor
Winifred
Constance
Amelie
I can't remember the rest. Most of them have a short form he likes eg Clemmie, Delphi, Indy.
I am not even being asked, just told what he has added and crossed off.

Oh he's an idiot Ducky clearly doesn't have his priorities right! He needs to grow up!
I'm seeing my midwife on Tuesday so I'm gonna try and speak to her again and see what else can be done.
Ds2 has been much better today which is good! :)

Lulu I rele like Thea! That was a fav of mine :) I'm so jealous u are having a girl!

My mom does help a lot when she's not at work but she's at work all through the week. And stbxh only has them on the 2 days I work. So I'm finding it hard in the week.
I've not started divorce proceedings yet I'm able to once baby is born.
Dreading it tbh.

I've got my glucose tolerance test tomorrow morning :/ not looking forward to that!

Oh lulu that's lovely! I can't remember, have you told the family yet? I love Thea too, do you have a favourite name? And I'm so so relieved to be rid of him, I don't think I would of coped at all being with him now after having dd.

Cupcake, your divorce should be pretty straight forward I think if it's based on the 2 year separation thing? Did you speak to a solicitor before?

Good luck for your gtt! Is it more likely to happen again because you had it last time?

Yeah ducky it should be straight forward everything's all agreed on just can't have papers wrote up and signed yet.
And unfortunately yes! :( higher
Risk of having GD again because I've had it before. I've already told them I'm not sticking to diet on xmas day I want my roast potatoes and cake!!

Just saw an anaesthetist come speak to me cuz I said I don't want another csection and apparently I can't have an epidural if I decide to labour as it's not as effective as the spinal. If I need to be rushed to theatre then a spinal will work more effectively as an epidural can fail.
Let's hope I can do labour on just painkillers and has and air