You are not a robot and the ovary whisperer's chanting for you in the viroid commune with our carved cock relics- don't panic about the acid foof! It's JS 58!!!

[Ain626]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>'something'</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a <strong>hooya</strong> = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 57 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2542249-Theres-Chickens-up-Trees-and-BOGOF-Deals-from-the-Stork-Were-Seeking-out-the-Magic-Potion-whilst-avoiding-the-Rogue-Penis-Dont-Flash-your-Cat-its-JS-57?pg=1" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2550495-Its-the-calm-before-the-storm-sort-of-that-is-Fantastic-February-and-the-March-Madness-we-did-a-lot-of-shagging-last-summer-We-need-more-JSers-on-this-our-44th-thread" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2541376-Our-babies-are-teething-screaming-and-generally-not-sleeping-but-were-still-JS-ing-its-Just-Mumming-10?watched=1" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Oh ain I was going to say I think you should count spotting as AF for now and start looking out for icibg again. And yes bmi was below 30 for ivf at my clinic

lil do you think I should change my mind and get on ivf list instead of waiting for lap? I'm worried if they find nothing then I've wasted another 3-4 months. Help me oh wise one!

And soy isolfavones too just
And I hate to bang on but acupuncture!!!

Can you go on list while you wait for lap?

Do you mean ain? Obv I'll take them if the oracle suggests!

No, he said its one or other but I can go on list as soon as I have lap.

I said you because you were talking about things to shorten fp but intended for ain!

Let me Google lap and come back to you in a mo.....

Funny you should mention soy. I got some earlier and started taking it this evening. Planning on taking it for 5 days, cd 4-8 (wonders if should have really taken it from 3-7).

Ah I see! Look at me trying to steal your js queendom!
Thanks lil I'm really feeling unsure.

Think that's fine ain, think anything before cd 5 is ok

Also.. you've seen a picture of me just? I have a stalker. haha. My Facebook profile pic in the Facebook group I'm guessing? it's probably not a great picture, lol

Yes that one...I don't follow you round with a long lens and a newspaper with eye holes cut out

"Lap and dye tests are usually performed in patients who have had a history of tubal problems, while an HSG scan may be performed in patients who have not had tubal problems"

So I guess qn is, if they find tubal problems will you go for ivf immediately. If not then the lap may give you more info. Have you had an hsg? Would that be quicker? Even if tubes not open it doesn't matter for ivf as they put a needle in through cervix, through uterine wall and into ovary.
I don't wish to be rude but at 33 if you have to wait another year to start first ivf cycle (entirely possible even with no waiting lists) you'll be fast approaching the "magic" 35 where we all suddenly become less fertile and higher risk pregnancies. So I'd be cautious about delaying iiwy. It does all have to come down to whether your ready to do ivf. It's mentally and emotionally hard. You spend a long time focussing on the physical aspects of undergoing ivf you don't realise how difficult it is to deal with the emotion. I'm here to get you thru it though

ain different days for different things, depends if you want stronger egg or faster egg. From memory earlier cds for faster egg, later for stronger but there's a few si threads on mn that could be worth checking for that

And it's a gorgeous picture

That's really helpful lil, I'm going to write to my consultant tomorrow and ask if hsg is quicker/ his justification for lap over that. I haven't had tubal problems I don't think, would I know?! Or do you think I can call his secretary? What's best?

If they found tube problems then I would want ivf straight away.

I'll also ask about possibility of going on ivf list now, I didn't outright ask at app but assumed I couldn't iyswim.

Not rude at all, that's my worry. Also if it doesn't work then I'll definitely be 35 for further cycles so would be best to do it earlier.

I think I am ready, I have thought more about emotional readiness than physical and decided that I would rather have heartbreak of it not working than not try iyswim.

I'm only torn as if lap did find something then potentially I could get pregnant naturally and if there was something wrong and I didn't find out I would only be able to conceive through ivf.

Wonder why hsg not been offered? That does seem a more sensible suggestion.

Thanks for talking it through with me, I'm a bit at sea

I'm off to bed now but will pop back when I can. Feel free to pm me if u want though x

Haha just! thanks not sure what my picture is.. think my current one is me in the snow.

Yes, I remember reading that too Lil I'm gonna give cd 4-8 a go and see what happens. As long as my cycle doesn't go over 56 days I'm not losing anything by giving it a go (and before my last two 56 day-ers the one before that was well over 100!)

X post. I think it depends on hospital what they prefer to do tbh. Mine never discussed lap and I never asked. But I knew we had mfi so ivf was on the cards. Even if lap shows nothing wrong would you delay ivf? You've waited this long with no success? Although dhs jizz was OK by our first ivf o wasn't willing to wait for natural pg after waiting so long so did ivf as soon as we could again. I think that's what you have to really consider. Can't help to call them and ask though, that's what they're there for. Must go bed, dh telling me off! I'll try and check in tomorrow. I mean it, pm me any time xx

That's the thing, if it found nothing I would still want ivf straight away. Thank you. I may pm you more about this another time if you really don't mind?

Night night, get that sleep in-your dh is right! By my reckoning you have a 21 weeker to grow!

Um... just why are you uploading one of my FB profile pictures? Now everyone will know I am a mad cat lady!

NFMV: AF has finally finally finally gone!

I did think it should be yours really with your cat brigade!

Kwick sorry you have had to join us on the thyroid pills, hoping this will help you to the bfp.

Thanks guys, feel a bit better this morning. I am really tired for no good reason, I have been sat in lectures for the last two days so not doing any work! an that always makes me really emotional.

Scottish I am feeling cautiously excited about your abundant cm in a totally none weird way I had more last month when I had conceived so I think its a good thing.

Just, does your consultant have a list of problems that might affect fertility that could be fixed during the lap and dye? It's all very well finding out your tubes are blocked but I was always under the impression that not much could be done about that.... However I don't know much about fertility stuff. Oh and in my head I imagine you as a super glam blonde!

You are correct just 21+3 today! How did that happen?
Definitely don't mind you pming me. Happy to share everything I learned along the way. Will take my mind off constant pregnancy anxiety! Ivf was much easier than that has been! Lol