TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Hi lex! I'm only 7 dpo so of course have tested and even more predictably a bfn! Will keep you updated! I've got 20 ic's so happily testing every day and I find testing early gives me more of a reality check. Thank you so much for asking!! How are you?

Aww jo so hard to wait isn't it!! Still very early though lol!
I'm ok - driving myself insane with worry and driving my oh insane too as he thinks I'm being too negative and that I may make something bad happen by being so negative. I keep telling him it's really hard to be positive and not look out for warning signs for eg my boobs haven't been so painful the last couple of days, when something bad has happened before. He doesn't get it and is really cross with me and starts saying that he hoped it doesn't start affecting our relationship - sorry rant over.
Good luck for your BFP!!
Xx

I think I'm just a poas addict and actually it does make me more grounded seeing a bfn so I don't think it is such a bad thing. I think my DH would be the same as yours lex he's already worried about me falling pregnant and how I will be

Just finished AF (first after miscarriage) and officially back in the TTC camp.. Don't think ill be actively trying as such but just not preventing. Will see what happens over the next month or so!

Meant to say next few months, not next month or so lol

Anyone else just getting back into the TTC camp and feeling a bit anxious ?

Yep first cycle for me too cheeky and also really nervous. In my fertile week now and I'm actually terrified of potentially getting pregnant. I want to but it's scary.

Hi insufficiently. Yes I recall our miscarriages roughly the same time. I'll be thinking of you and sending baby dust! I know it's hard though. I'm just taking it one day at a time. Trying to anyway

Thanks amy I'd read about Chinese herbs and agnus castus and also red clover but a bit wary that those could also pose a risk to the potential baby. As I understand it agnus castus is good for regulating cycles but the idea seems to be you do that before rather than during TTC and because I'm not willing to stop TTC my plan is to go with the safe vitamin options first and if that hasn't worked in a few months I'll look further at herbs then. I'll also go to my GP and ask for blood tests to check progesterone if my luteal phase is short over the next cycle or two as well.

frankie I'm glad you found us, how are you getting on?

I've had my fertile window and I'm terrified of getting pregnant. We are not trying not preventing. As much as I want my bfp I don't know if I could handle it right now.

Like everyone else feeling anxious, I am too. Want to be pregnant but terrified of being pregnant. It's horrible being anxious constantly.

Lucky glad you know more about these things than I do. Bloods sound like the best option to be honest, they'll shed more light on what's happening.

Been really crampy and nauseous again today. Skin is horrid, hair is horrid, feel like crap and can't sleep now. Had a pretty busy day and kids have been acting silly since 5pm till 9pm when they finally went to sleep, not had enough wind down time and winding myself up not being able to sleep!
Drinking hot cinnamon milk supposed to aid sleep and eating millionaire shortbread sugar rush at this time of nigh is not good! DH is fast asleep which is even more annoying

Loki and insufficiently (I know your miscarriages were roughly same time as me but anyone is free to answer the question), do you still feel a bit emotionally all over the place? I feel like I'm doing fine and then suddenly I'll feel overwhelmed, not just by the miscarriage but about life. It's quite up and down. I thought after my first cycle it would settle but I suppose it's early days.

I absolutely feel all over the place. Everything is different now because of the miscarriage. There are constant triggers and reminders which are really hard to deal with.

It comes and goes for me. Most of the time I feel OK now but sometimes little things completely pull the carpet from beneath me. This week it was a nurse taking my blood on Wednesday which was also my birthday (so a bad start anyway!). She noticed my age and said that was the last age she was child-free as her daughter was born a few months later. She didn't know and wasn't being insenstive, just making idle chat to distract me from the needle she was jabbing in my arm but I just thought that was my plan too.

Right now the main thing that gets at me is just the thought of possibly getting pregnant and going through it again. Trying to stay positive and focussed though. Currently in my fertile week, app says I'll OV on Sunday but I suspect it might have already happened but have been dtd anyway so hopefully have caught it.

Amy I am really crampy and with dry skin too. Normally have a bit of pain around of OV but this has been a week of dull cramps and really horrible dry skin. Bleurgh

Cheeky try not to worry too much, it's totally normal. I'm now almost a year since my mc and looking back I wasn't properly back to my old self for about 3-4 months. I thought at the time I was fine, and I was for the most part but there are definitely patches where I can now see I was struggling.

Take everything one day at a time and if you are upset or anxious or overwhelmed embrace it. Accept it for what it is, a symptom of your mc/grief and move past it. It does get better.

I hardly think about it now, just a little around my cycle.

Insufficiently my skin is all dry and flakey up to my neck and then my face is like a frying pan, hair is lank dull and greasy too. The moisturiser I'm using is making me itch as well. Hormones are awful!

Cheeky hope you're ok.

It's the anniversary of when me and DH met today, 14 years ago! He's surprised me and made dinner reservations at our local carvery, my fav. Now need to find something to wear!
Cramping was pretty bad again this morning, it's since gone off but I feel pretty sick now and not sure what's causing it.

Thanks girls, appreciate your comments. I find it really helpful to talk. The other day when I heard about my friend being 4 months expecting (we would've been two weeks apart) I just felt suffocated like I couldn't tell my DH or my mum that I felt envious. I'm not a jealous person at all but now I've spoken to her congratulated her etc I feel a lot better.

Amy happy anniversary! How sweet of DH. Enjoy xx

Hi everyone,
I had a miscarriage on Sunday at 11 weeks so still going through it

We are nowhere near ready trying to conceive yet. I just wanted to join somewhere where people understand what I'm going through. I've read all the posts and it's helped me see what will happen next and give me some light at the end of a dark tunnel.

Sorry you find yourself here, paco

So sorry for your loss paco

So sorry for your loss paco. Everyone here is so lovely and helpful but sorry you found yourself here.

Amy happy anniversary! Have a lovely meal out.

I've been asked today if I had plans for any more, lighthearted and may have not known about our loss but I mumbled something and changed the subject. Something that was meant so nicely managed to cut me so deeply. Currently 8dpo and don't think it has happened this month again. Starting counselling next month which I'm hoping will help.

Thank you ive already taken a lot of comfort already from this thread. Once things have settled down again we will give trying again another shot. That little bit of hope is getting me through

So sorry you find yourself here paco

I am also up and down. About 95% of the time I'm fine; great, even. Then I'll stop and think about what we actually lost and feel like I've been punched. Last night DH couldn't finish and I kind of lost it. Not too bad but just so fucking angry/sad that I am even in the position where I need to stress about him finishing or not. I also asked him if he knew my due date; he had no idea. And then I called him an arsehole (not my finest moment). Anyway, we got over that and set the alarm for 5.30 this morning so we got a quick one in before work. I really hate doing that though as its not enjoyable for me at all. Oh well, lots of weekend sex coming up!

Hope everyone has a good one! I'm in the pub with a glass of wine after a stressful week!

Sorry to hear that elderberries, I also asked DH about our due date and he wasn't entirely sure. I've mentioned a few times that I'm not looking forward to July and hoping he will remember at the time but men are just so different. He does remind me that it was his loss too but difficult to believe that sometimes. I read a quote which was so true, it was something like.. A woman is a mother when she finds out she is pregnant, a man is a father when he holds the baby in his arms. Soooo true.

Thank everyone for your anniversary wishes. We've just got back from our meal. I'm absolutely stuffed, meal was lovely. Had to take my trousers off, I've eaten far too much!

Had to come and lie down not just because of the bloated belly but because of the pain in my foo. Well that's where it feels like it is anyway. It's sharp stabbing and pulsing it's horrible! Feels like everything's going to fall out down there. Thinking I have a uti.

Cheeky glad you're feeling better.

Elderberries the wine is well deserved.