Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

Thanks cityzen and helbelle75

Had a bit of a grumpy day today but overall more good days than bad. The rest of this month will be spent just taking it easy :)

Xx

Congratulations Helbelle - what lovely and exciting news. I hope that you are feeling well. I think it's only natural to be scared after your mmc but I hope that all goes well. Do keep us informed.

Karry I'm glad there are more good days than bad at the moment and I hope you have a relaxing month.

I had my first MMR jab on Friday which means I can't ttc for this month or next month if I get the booster. I've been ovulating this weekend so it's really hard knowing I can't do anything about it but that's just how it is.

I went for a scan which was OK. I had a retest of my fsh levels and they had gone down to 9.6 from 12.7 so that was OK. The nurse doing the scan wouldn't say what my amh results were so I suspect they are really low but I'll just have to wait until my next appointment I suppose to see.

Hope everyone is OK.

Thanks cityzen. It feels too good to be true again, but I'm staying positive and resting up. Fortunately it's school holidays so I have that luxury!
I hope everyone is well and fingers crossed for good news for you all.

Congrats Helbelle, exciting times. Glad you're on the up Karry

BFN for me today. Very down about it. 43.5 and 16 months of trying now and nothing, not a sniff. Had HSG last month so was holding out. Exhausting isn't it. Planning next cycle and trying to stay positive and focused.

It's so exhausting wotsit. I'm lucky in that it seems quite easy for me to get pregnant, I just hope I can hold on to this one.
Everything crossed for you.

Hi everyone,

I've been reading your posts and feeling inspired. It's really heartening to hear your stories of success and heartbreaking to read about your difficulties. Being a somewhat reluctant internet user in my personal life (trying to limit time at the computer), I hadn't appreciated what a powerful place it can be for support. And, though the internet is anonymous, I still tend to be shy about posting.... But here goes.

I'm 43.5 and have been trying to have my first child for the last 5 months with my partner who is about to turn 46. Hardly a long time, but we're also feeling the pressure of time. We don't have any identifiable fertility issues, except for my being old(er).

I've read the statistics for pregnancy at my age, but also know it only takes one egg. I wonder if anyone has any insight or advice they can offer regarding our situation:

We tried one cycle of IVF in May 2016: at start, 8 follicles; AMH 3.6; FSH 13.1
High stim dosages -- 225 iu Fostimon/ 225 iu Merional for 9 days; and Zomacton 4mg on alternate days
2 eggs collected, revised down to one that was excellent quality at day 2, but then it didn't develop, so nothing.

Our doctor said that I didn't respond as she would have hoped on the stims and that it might be better to try IUI with mild stimulation. Because we were going on holiday and couldn't try IUI immediately, we decided to try at-home insemination/natural conception and track my ovulation with ClearBlue Easy and the cheap LH surge strips. The stats on success for at-home insemination are about the same as IUI, and the whole process is almost stress-free :-) Two tries but so far nothing yet.

We're struggling to decide if it's worth 'experimenting' with IVF again, despite my not having responded very well. We're fortunate to have money we can use to try again, but don't know how to evaluate if it makes sense.

Have any of you seen big differences in your response to IVF from one cycle to the next? My doctor can't adjust the dosages higher because I was already at the max. Any success stories or thoughts on at-home insemination? Thoughts on IUI with mild stimulation?

We'd be really grateful for any stories or advice, as well as links to other threads.

My warmest wishes to all of you.

Hello Nybliss and welcome to the thread. What a lovely first post from you. I know what you mean about being shy about posting but I find this a really supportive and safe place to be able to share some of the darker sides of ttc and keep on a positive track.

I don't know anything about IVF I'm afraid so can't be much help but am sure someone who does will be along to post soon and will be able to give you lots of advice.

I'm 43.5 like you and I took lots of inspiration to hear from someone in a similar boat to me. Fingers crossed for you and for everyone.

Hi ladies, haven't been here for a while as it wasn't anything worth reporting.
Cycle #4 - Another BFN. Keep seeing my acupuncturist twice a month. She recommended to add Aspirin 75mg to my never ending collection of vitamins/pills list.

So, today is CD10 and of cycle #5. Still sticking to SMEP plan and started using Conceive Plus lubricant.

And thinking of plan B, C and so on.

I'm thinking for next cycle to go for IUI. I'll already made preparations for it. And if this cycle doesn't work then I'll be flying home to get it done. It's in Riga. The actual insemination is only €285! My DH's sperm is already in their freezer. I'll probably need a couple of examinations prior to the actual procedure. But the whole lot won't cost more than €500-600!
And if I'd go for London clinic, I was told it would be around £1500-2000! Insane! Even with the flights it would cost much less to get it done there! Plus they know me there and I could see my dad and brother.

So, we'll see what this cycle brings.

We did it. Baby Magnus was born in the early hours of Thursday, 6 days after my 43rd birthday. He is everything I could have hoped for.

This thread and its predecessor got me through some dark days and I wish everyone I "met" on here the very very best of luck, wherever you are in your journey to being a mother. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

He's so beautiful Jessie. You both must be exhilarated and exhausted. I can't believe it's come round this quickly. I always found this thread and your attitude so refreshing though I'm (still) ttc #2. I really hope the good news continues for everyone else in the same boat.

Wishing you every happiness as a family of three.

Beautiful! Those gorgeous cheeks!!!
Congratulations and all the best for the future
(Looking forward to joining your gang soon....nearly 33 weeks pregnant!! )

Congratulations Jessie and all the best for the future.
I've just booked my treatment plan meeting with my IVF nurse , then it's my antral follicle scan and hopefully I'll be having my first IVF cycle soon. Hopefully I'll be able to post a similar message as yours one day too.

I have delurked to say that I have been following your story, Jessie, and how inspirational it was. Many congratulations - what a gorgeous little reward for all the struggles.

Yay, I've been checking this thread the last few weeks to see if there us any news!! I'm sure someone else is due a few weeks after you too.

Congratulations!! He is absolutely gorgeous. You just be besotted and delighted (and exhausted)

Xxxx

Ah its daisy. Best wishes for the last few weeks of pregnancy. Look forward to your announcement. My son is 11 months already and he arrived when I was 42. Big sister about to be three!!! Goes so fast xxx

Thanks so much Crispie and Juan 😊. Best of luck Joey.

Congratulations Jessie!

Cycle 5 (yet to find out if BFP or BFN)
Not much to report otherwise but have a dilemma!

In November 2014 got polyps removed and the same time discovered my left tube is closed/blocked which was a bit of a shock. Had some checks done in March 2015 and not sure how and why but thought the tube was open. I'm not from here and all of the above was done in IVF Riga clinic.
Anyway, we've started TTC in April but no BFP yet. I told the same clinic I'd try IUI after 6 cycles,so they took DH's sperm and stored in the freezer and gave me an equivalent of Clomid. As I always knew I'd get it done over there, I'd then start taking the drug on CD5 here and then fly over. But here's my question, do you think I should try Clomid and natural intercourse or straight to IUI with Clomid? I read all morning today and can't work it out what to do! I'll still take the drug on cd5 as they told me and then fly to check my tubes again and at the same time they can do ultrasound on cd 10-11 to see how I respond to the drug. But then what? Shall fly home for natural dtd or stay for IUI?! I can do this trip while still unemployed. And can afford being off of work for a while. And it's so much cheaper in Riga! Would like to hear your thoughts as breaking my brains here and can't figure it out by myself! And is anyone have any experience with Clomid or similar? And what would you do!? I'm 40 and don't want to keep trying for 12 months before seeing a specialist. Big sigh

Congratulations Jessie, how wonderful!!

Russkispy, sorry I don't know anything abt Clomid and IUI so don't know what to say. Wishing you luck and hope someone comes along soon.

JESSIE!!! Congratulations! What a joy to see the photos of your handsome chappy (with his very cool name, I might add!).

Absolutely over the moon for you, and I'm sure you're relishing every second of this long-awaited-for new phase of life. :-)

I'm at 21 weeks now, and all is well. Had our second scan last week, and baby was doing a great impression of an Olympic boxer, in between stuffing his (or her?) fingers in his (or her!) mouth. Adorable.

All the very best to everyone else on this board who's still on the journey. just a bit of encouragement. ttc was the most frustrating time of my life, but the memories of all the frustration and upset is already fading. Just keep going girls - there's still so much hope. :-) xx

Congratulations Jessie. Am so happy for you. Magnus is gorgeous! Hope you are all well.

Lovely to hear from Loueeza. Glad all is well with you. Wow - 21 weeks that is so great and am very pleased for you.

Russkispy - I'm sorry I don't know anything about Clomid or IUI either so can't give any advice. Have you considered creating a new thread about it and someone might be able to give you some advice?

Hope everyone else is well.

Just had my booster shot of the MMR jab today so that's all the tests done and now just waiting for my second IVF appointment in a couple of weeks.

Hi Loueeza! SO nice to hear all is well with you. I sent you a couple of PMs and was a bit worried when you didn't reply. I won't bang on about having a baby on this thread as it's not appropriate but I'd love to stay in touch and hear about the baby when s/he is born. Are you on any of the ante natal threads? I'm also going to try to add a few pics of Magnus to my profile on here.

Thanks also City , Clara and Russkispy.

Russki I tried IUI in Hong Kong but not with Clomid, with a low dose of IVF stimulating drugs (Menopur I think) aimed at producing no more than 2 eggs. It didn't work but they never really looked into why, then we moved back to the UK and went straight on to IVF which just seemed like a much more exact process. That said, they can be pretty precise when doing IUI so I was confident that the eggs and sperm did meet. It was likely just duff eggs, given that the majority of eggs harvested for IVF were also duff.

Hi Jessie!

Just left you a PM - so sorry, I didn't even notice yours as I've never sent or received one before!

I've checked out the pregnancy boards a little, but have just been lurking rather than posting. Was just reading an interesting one about maternity bras! (starting to need them)

Would love to see more piccies of Magnus on your profile.

Thanks again for writing :-)

Russkispy, glad things can progress again soon. :-)

think I'm CD30 and 5 days of brown spotting which never happened before! Usually is 2 days prior AF. So not sure what's happening here and why! It's not even on panties, but it's kind of sitting inside. Sorry TMI! Feeling extremely tired and there's a sharp pain in my back, on the right. But not muscles, I believe. I have no idea. No any other symptoms.
I'm also scheduled to fly to Riga to the clinic. To double check my Fallopian tubes and potentially have an IUI. But where's AF!?? Clomid is here but can't start till the bastard AF turns up. But is she!? As I said AF usually and regularly turns up 2 days after brown spotting/discharge. Has anyone else experienced this?
Also, made an appointment with a reflexologist (specialising in fertility) on Thursday. See what she can do for us. Has anybody else tried reflexology?

Russkipsy - that is very frustrating isn't it? Before my mc I used to get a few days of brown spotting but since the mc I just seem to come on. Don't know why. This is probably a silly question but have you done a test? Might you be pregnant? Really hope so for you!