Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

Thank you, Remember and Joey! I know I always felt the most encouraged when I read stories about ladies who'd got a BFP after a looong while trying, and now I hope I can encourage others too with my story.

The discharge could have meant something, Remember. I got that a bit about two weeks ago.

Thanks Loueeza,

Still nothing this end. I did a Clearblue Plus test this am and bfn think I'm cd29 today; 15 days post discharge so thinking I should have shown as bfp by now. I reckon af should be here any time now but don't feel as if she's on the horizon either!!

Waaaa!!!! Just popped on after not lurking for ages CONGRATULATIONS loueeza !!!! exactly the same thing happened to a good friend of mine PG a few weeks after dye test. I don't think it's a coincidence xxxxxx

Sorry haven't read other posts I'm at airport off on hols down to sunny south coast of Englandshire!! Xxx

LOUEEZA!!! hooray hooray!

You managed to keep your nerve till 17 dpo as well- what a trouper you are! That is an excellent line .

You're in for a nail biting 6 weeks or so now I'm afraid. You might want to think about booking a private scan at 8 weeks - I got one as part of my IVF and it really helped put my mind at rest. I am SO happy for you, and very much hope that you find yourself exactly where I am in 24 weeks' time, marvelling at the wriggling creature headbutting your bladder. (And also possibly in Sorrento enjoying the view).

Congrats again. And double points for a natural BFP too .

Hi to everyone else as well. Enjoy your hols Annie.

Thank you so much, Jessie and Annie! I'm thrilled to have got this far, whatever happens in the long run.

It definitely is nail-biting, but I guess there's no escaping that - just got to go through it like everyone else. I'm trying a new 'trick' of turning all the statistics on their head and looking at them in terms of chances of success. If you do that, things don't look so precarious!

Jessie, I'm dreaming of sitting with a sea view at 24 weeks, but for now will just take each day as it comes.

Congratulations again by the way... I'm so thrilled for you and can't wait for your birth announcement. You must be so excited now!

AF put in her monotonously regular appearance this weekend just gone. Onwards and upwards and try yet again starting later this week!!

Congrats loueeza! Hope you are doing well!

I had my 20 week scan last week. All doing well, healthy and happy. And...a boy!! And a girl!!!

daisy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just nearly fell off my seat!!!! perfect news!!!!!!!!! Wow it's all so worth the wait!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Daisy! Wow, that's amazing news!! Twins!! What a dream!

Talking of dreams, I'm dreaming of getting to 20 weeks too - at 6 weeks and a bit at the moment and all seems good so far with plenty of symptoms. Started to feel a bit queasy today, which I can't help feeling pleased about...

I know that everyone goes through the nerves at this stage. Just got to sit tight and keep everything crossed! :-)

Congrats guys! All wonderful news!!

Morning ladies,
A little update from. Went to my acupuncturist and I believe she sorted out my OV day as it was back on CD14. And consequently my cycle this time is 27 days which is my regular ones. Suffice to say AF arrived today after 2 days of brown spotting (my indicator of imminent AF). So I'm out this month. Disappointed but holding my head high. This battle is not over! It only started 😉

Sorry to hear about others' AF and good luck with the ones are still hanging in there!

See you all next month.

RS x

PS acupuncturist was very happy with my pulse and progress I've shown so far (eating her suggested foods etc) and she reckons I have chances to be pregnant within 3 months. Time will tell....

Hi Russkipsy, I have also had brown spotting this week and so am now waiting for the inevitable af. At least I know it's coming so when it finally arrives I won't be so disappointed. If it's okay with you, are there foods that your acupuncturist suggested that you could share?
Good luck with your next cycle as you never know what might happen. I'm spending Monday with my best friend, who's also 40, and her two month old twins. Fingers crossed.

Hi Joey
She emailed me a 12 pager of foods categories. At the moment she told me to eat from 2 categories : Nourishing Yin and Warming Blood. Are there any ways I could send you the whole lot? Is there a way of sending this to your email? Or some other sort of privacy? If not, I'll cut and paste it into here tomrrow morning

since I've haven't conceived this month, my acupuncturist is still concentrating on my points for OV and preparing me for my next fertile window. She sent me a list of foods to incorporate into my already balanced diet, and so she suggested these:

Nourishing Yin
GENERAL GUIDELINES:
Barley
Spelt
Alfalfa Sprouts
Artichoke
Asparagus
Kelp
Bean Sprout
Potato
Seaweed
String Bean
Sweet Potato
Tomato
Spinach
Pea
Water chestnut
Yam
Apple
Apricot
Avocado
Banana
Lemon/Lime
Mango
Blue Berry
Billberry
Strawberry
Pear
Persimmon
Pineapple
Pomegranate
Watermelon
Beans
Aduki Black bean
Kidney bean
Lima bean
Mung bean
Soybean (black)
Tofu
Pine kernel
Sesame (black)
Sesame (white)
Walnut
Fish
Crab
Coconut milk
Pork
Rabbit

Nourishing Blood:
GENERAL GUIDELINES:
Rest, particularly in afternoon
Avoid fatty, sweet or salty foods
Diet rich in fresh vegetables, green leafy Vegetables, grains, beans, meats and seafood
Use red meats and seafood especially with the shell
More pungent foods
Less sour, sweet and bitter foods
Barley
Corn
Oats
Rice
Sweet Rice
Wheat Bran
Alfalfa Sprouts
Artichoke
Beetroot
Dandelion Leaf
Kelp
Kale
Leafy greens
Spinach
Watercress
Apricot
Avocado
Date
Fig
Grape
Longan Berry
Mulberry
Aduki Bean
Black Bean
Kidney Bean
Squid
Octopus / Squid
Oyster
Mussel
Beef
Liver
Pork
Egg
Nettle
Molasses
Soya milk
Stout

How are you doing Loueeza?

Hi Jessie! I'm fine, thank you! Trying my hardest to actually enjoy this rather than constantly looking for something to be wrong (managing well at times and not so well at others... lol!)

My symptoms keep coming and going, which can be a bit unnerving (did you get that??). I threw up for hours on Tuesday night, then I've been feeling pretty much fine since then.

At about 7.5 weeks now. The time is going SO slowly!!!

How are you????? :-)

How is everyone else? :-)

Thanks Russkispy for the list. I'll give it a go and see what happens. Have you tried the stout yet?

I'm glad Loueeza that everything is still going well with you.

Hi Joey,
Haven't tried the stout but drinking an artichoke tea! Quite expensive but very nice taste 😉😉
Away on holiday with DH and today is CD12 and DTD is in full swing.
I'm following SPEM plan this cycle. Have you read about it? Fingers and toes are crossed for me 😉
How are you getting on?

Hi Russkipsy,

Artichoke tea? Where do you get that from? I hadn't heard of the SPEM plan before you mentioned it but seems a good way of making sure you dtd enough times to achieve a higher chance of hitting the jackpot. I'll give it a go.

I have to admit I'm going slightly crackers here. After getting brown discharge a few weeks ago and waiting for the inevitable AF, it still hasn't come. It CD 42 now. I've just taken a pregnancy test and got a BFN. I took clomid this cycle so all I can think of is it has messed my cycle up. Whatever the reason, I want my period back. Luckily I'm seeing my consultant tomorrow so I can discuss my lack of period and also what I should do next whether it's to keep on trying to conceive naturally or start IVF if my period ever comes back that is.

Happy holidays!

I hope everyone else is doing fine.

Well still no AF but my consultant has given me some tablets to kick start it, if it doesn't come in the next few days.

The visit to the hospital wasn't great. I was told as soon as I sat down that my amh result (3.84) was very low which was to be expected at my age and my only option was IVF. So next stop is to book the appointment at the clinic and hopefully they can help me.

Joey, buying artichoke tea in Holland&Barrett.
The SPEM plan is basically to start DTD from CD8 every other day till OV day, then 3 days in a row, skip one night and do the last DTD.
That's a formula in their book for the ladies before the age of 35.
And there's a slight adjustment for the ladies after 35 (applicable to me).
Not sure your age, Joey.
Would you consider IVF abroad or in the UK?

Hi Russkispy, I'll have a look in Holland and Barrett the next time I'm in town for the tea. I'm 40 so I'd be looking at the slight adjustment when it comes to the SPEM plan.
I called my local IVF clinic and I'm going to see the nurse tomorrow and then have a follow up appointment with the doctor to talk about my options in July. I wouldn't rule out abroad but might as well find out what they think my chances are.

Are you in London? Is your clinic a good one? I know there's a very good IVF clinic in Greece, with the highest success rate.
I've attached the SMEP plan for the ones over 35.
Hope it goes well tomorrow.

Thanks Russkipsy. Once my period comes back (there's a possibility that my body went into shock with taking the higher dose of clomid) then I'll give the plan a go.
I went to the Bourne Hall Clinic in Colchester, which is about a 10 minute walk from my house, and they have clinics all over East Anglia. I spoke to the nurse which was mainly gathering information and I'm seeing the doctor in mid July to talk about what treatment they would suggest for me. I left £200 lighter but feeling positive that they will hopefully be able to help. I've heard lots of positive things about Cyprus and Greece but it's convincing my partner is the tricky bit. I hope all is going well with you and the smep plan.

doesn't your partner want kids? is he older or younger? I hope he's on board with you for having a little one.
I'm in 6dpo and nothing significant or anything to report, for that matter.
We just got back from hot summer break and hopefully, fresh air and sea water did us good and we're successful this cycle! And hope the SMEP plan worked too!
Back to the acupuncturist on the 12th. Kind of missed my treatments.