Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

Hi there, here's my little story of TTC#1 for a baby#1
OV - on CD16 (usually CD13)
6dpo - vomiting and diarrhoea as soon as I woke up. Never experienced anything like it before! When reading on Internet, it might be a sign of implantation on 5dpo. Experienced no blood spotting.
Between 7dpo-13dpo - some days was feeling nauseous in the morning snd sometimes no symptoms at all. And no PMS or AF symptoms leading to AF week.
Was expecting AF on CD29 - nothing.
Cd30 - still no signs of AF or any other symptoms
CD31 (15dpo) - took first PG test - BFN. Did 3 times that morning and still negative. And yet no signs of AF. Boobs started hurting very late at night. And noticed some pink discharge inside. Nothing on the panties.
Today CD32 - (16dpo) - took another PG test this morning - another BFN. Boobs are very sore. But no discharge inside.
I've never been that late and just dont know what to think about it all. Apart from waiting, I guess.
Is anybody experiencing the same? And has anybody been in the same boat before? And could advise?
Thank you!

Well, well, AF finally got me this morning! I'll trust my boobs next time as they never let me down pre-AF arrival. I'll never know why my OV day shifted last month and why I ended up with 34 CDs this time! Due to change of countries, from Iraq, permanently returning to the UK, due to unexpected redundancy which was done in a horrific way which prompted me to engage a solicitor to deal with it, it caused me a great deal of stress and upset, I won't lie.
Disappointed about this cycle but must be realistic about this journey and be aware of my age. Became 40 last month. Oh well, marching on, head high...

Hi, Russkipsy. Congratulations on turning 40 - I turned 40 in November and like you, I also experienced diarrhoea and nausea last week and thought there might be a chance that I was pregnant. However, my af arrived today but on 22 cd! My periods are irregular which means tracking ovulation is tricky so I wasn't expecting it to arrive that early. There's always next month and to cheer myself, I now have a new pair of jeans.

A quick question to everyone - i take conception tablets, have cut down on caffeine, alcohol and trying to drink more water. I've also started to enquire about acupuncture but is there anything else I can do to help? I've noticed a few of you have mentioned Coq10 ubiqinol - are there any brands you recommend? Thanks x I hope everyone is doing fine.

Hi Potter1, funny how you've mentioned as I made some enquiries on other threads I'm on. Anyway, I sent a couple of emails to London clinics last night and they replied today with their price lists! and I'm on the floor, literally! Damn, damn! so I've contacted a clinic in Faversham, Kent and awaiting to make an appointment. Where are you based? is it your first TTC for #1? and a Happy belated to you too!

Hello there,
I have just bought 'It starts with the Egg', it's a book you can order from Amazon. Highly recommended. Wish I had read it before my 2 miscarriages. Basically it explains that in the 3 months before an egg is released, there is a lot we can do to influence egg quality. It tells you what chemicals and toxins to avoid in every day life, and what supplements to take / nutrients to eat to maximise the quality of your eggs and your fertility. It's grounded in science and research. I'm thinking of starting a new thread for anyone looking to follow the plan. At our age absolutely no booze or caffeine. Minimise exposure to plastics and chemicals as much as you can - cleaning products, utensils, toiletries and perfumes.. She recommends Co Q10 as Ubiqinol and DHEA, folic acid, Vitamin D amongst other things and explains why some supplements are suitable for IVF but not for natural conception. Has anyone else read it?

Hi Dixxie - hope you're doing OK after your recent loss.

Yes, I think the "It starts with the egg" book has been recommended on here a few times, but there will always be those who haven't seen it. Personally I think it's fantastic in principle, but SO hard to follow if you've been trying for a while - the no BPA/plastic food wrapping thing is ridiculously hard!

Hi Chewy, yes I know , that's why I'm thinking of starting a new thread! There are some fairly easy things we can do to lessen exposure, at least, and the book also seems to sum up the supplements etc really well, pulling together the titbits I've heard from happy 40+ mums. The author's personal story about transforming her own egg quality is inspiring... I've also ordered 'Is your body baby-friendly' but have yet to read it.

Hi Russkipsy, I'm also trying for my first child. I didn't meet my partner until I turned 38 and I know it might not happen and I might even be told that I have no chance (what with my irregular periods and now my low amf) but I wanted to at least try my best. I live in Colchester and I had my amf level tested at Bourn Hall which has clinics across East Anglia. I'll probably also go back there if my consultant recommends it, when I see her in June.
Thanks Dixxie - I've now ordered 'It starts with the egg'. I don't smoke, alcohol is out but I don't think I could live without two cups of tea a day. I'm drinking decaff tea so I'm hoping that makes it better. I'd also be happy to join the thread you were talking about. X

Ladies, I've just started a new thread, TTC Self Help book club, to discuss the two books that many Mumsnetters have recommended, that offer advice on how to prevent miscarriage and have a successful pregnancy (It Starts with the Egg and Is your Body Baby-Friendly). Hey some of us may still have to throw money at private clinics at some stage, but there's lots we can do to help ourselves... Do join and share, let's support each other!

Hi all! How is everyone? Our thread seems to have taken a bit of a tumble over the last few days so I thought I'd 'bump' it a bit! ;-)

I've taken a back seat around here lately because to be honest I'm even boring myself a bit with my month after month tales of disappointment!

Thanks to all those who've popped in to encourage though - TwinklyMusic, your stories were especially encouraging!

As for me, I've decided to have a laparoscopy soon to check things out a bit more (really skewy, painful cycles lately). Not pleasant but I keep telling myself that it's just one day, and then I'll have some more information, and be able to decide what to do next.

Having a few days off next week, anyway, so looking forward to forgetting all about it for a while. Fingers crossed for some sunshine! :-)

I'm still lurking
Nothing much to report, am waiting for my fertile week to come round.
Would be lovely to hear more of the success stories out there.

Just had my first fertility acupuncture, £85 and 3 hours later and lighter I've finally emerged, smelling of roses 😉 This price includes a consultation and first treatment. We talked a lot about fertility, ovulation, fertility window, foods, body chemicals, pregnancy etc really enjoyed the chat! She'll send me a list of food to incorporate into my diet. Will let you know. My 2nd appointment is in 2 weeks.
I'm currently on CD10, DTD on CD5, 7 and 9. She advised to DTD every other day from end of your period all the way through to CD21. Providing I'm usually 28-29 CDs. Which I am. Already changes in CM. "Science" continues till CD21 😉

I've heard good things about acupuncture, Ruskispy! Can't hurt to try all these things - for me, doing 'something' has always made me feel better.

Now... I can't quite believe I'm getting my turn to do this, BUT - after my nondescript 'bumping' post yesterday, look what happened to me this morning. After 21 months and not a shadow of a BFP ever before, I can finally post my own real life encouraging story. Proof that it's absolutely worth carrying on hoping when it starts feeling like it's never going to happen.

I was shaking so much this morning when I did my test but the line came up almost immediately - and for now it's certainly not a squinter.

It's VERY early days of course (17dpo - I wasn't even getting my hopes up yesterday as I'd been there so many times before...) but whatever happens in the next few weeks/months, I'm just over the moon that we've been able to get this far.

Interestingly, I just had an HSG dye test last month, which showed everything normal, but does seem like a huge coincidence. Maybe it's worth a try if you haven't done that yet, girls? :-)

Oh, and I have finally been able to answer my own question about whether you still get cramps etc. on a BFP month - YES, YOU CAN!

I had the same cramps and horrible feelings as I always do. Only thing that was different was that the cramps started REALLY early, and I had worse than normal period pains at the weekend - when I should have got af.

Still got mild cramps, but they're lessening. Generally just feeling 'periody', really. :-)

Feel like I'm never going to be able to sleep again - this is SO nerve-racking!

Massive congratulations to you Loueeza, that is a really strong line you have there. Will be thinking positive thoughts for you that all continues swimmingly

Wow Lou congratulations!! I always check back to this thread to see how you are all doing and cheer for everyone from the sidelines! Thrilled! Xxxx

Wowzers! Massive congratulations also Loueeza. So chuffed for you. That is a really strong line. Yay!

Ruskispy are you able to share where you go for acupuncture? I'm very interested in trying it myself.

Of course PowPow. Google for Kent acupuncture health and look up for Michelle Mulliss. She's got a clinic in Faversham and Harley street.

It was actually 2 hours with her.! Sorry, lost track of time! We talked a lot about fertility etc, she was so good and helpful! I could talk and discuss things with her for hours! Acupuncture/needles were not painful at all! It was a few needles on my back, one into my head and forehead and a few into my feet. And the minute she did it my tummy rambled so loud! And a lot! She said it was a good sign, as everything is working! I'm waiting for her email with a list of foods. Also asked her about supplements I take and she said Selenium with zinc is more important for men than women! Maca root and spirulina are very important! Will keep you posted on the rest

Congratulations Loueeza! Very exciting!

Thanks Russkispy I'm (semi)forcing Selenium and Zinc on DP every morning so good to know I'm on the right track.

Thanks so much for the congrats, everyone.

It still feels quite surreal, like it isn't really happening to me. I do actually feel pregnant though. I feel like I've spent the last two days in the loo, and I've got strange shooting pains in my boobs.

Apart from the strange feelings and twinges, though, I'm feeling pretty good. Nervous still, but relaxing about the fact that there's nothing I can do to affect the outcome of this. :-)

Loueeza - what an amazingly strong line!! This is stronger than my special 16 dpo one was three and a half years ago I've also been rooting for you- was on other 40 thread but fallen off it (not through pregnancy but apathy) Always got my fingers crossed for the ttc #1ers and think the women on this thread are particularly brilliant

Wishing you all the best

Thank you Totalnamechanger! I totally understand the feelings of apathy. You get to the point where you never really read into anything anymore. I had got my hopes up so so so many times, but always to be disappointed.

Rooting for you too, though! If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone, believe me!!! :-)

Congratulations Loueeza. I hope all goes well. It's lovely to hear this type of news as it gives the rest of us hope that we might get a bfp too.

Congratulations Loueeza!!

I'm now somewhere around cd 29/30 (gave up making a note of af start date this cycle!!) and had 18-24 hours of brownish/pinkish discharge 14 days ago, which may or may not be anything!! I've poas every day for the last 9-10 days and all have been bfn. I'm not giving up yet though!! Have now got the lurgy so am staying home (on DH instructions) but am desperate for an frer or a Superdrug early response test to use. I might just have to force myself out tomorrow as, at the moment, my only options are Internet cheapies or Clearblue non digital tests!!