Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

anniehoo I can only imagine the pain you have gone through - and get you are still standing strong.
Have you had any indication why they happened? Sorry dont mean to pry into something which is extremely personal.
Remember: you are amazeballs!

Aww thanks Kwick, I don't think I'm amazeballs but I do look back sometimes and think "bloody hell what an effort! At least I can say I've tried".

I don't mind you asking me anything, like I said, I'm an open book. There is no reason they can find. DH has had two sperm tests, both normal and he's been tested for HIV and Hep C (for IVF). We've both had Cytogenics testing for abnormal chromosomes and came out normal. I've tested normal for Coagulation test, Cervical Smear and negative for anti-cardiolpin antibody (anti-phospholipid), Anti-cardiolipin, Lupus Anticoagulant, Gonorrhoea, Rubella (immune), C,trachomatis, my progesterone day 21 and 28 levels were normal.

In july 2014 my AMH was at 14.5 which was above normal for age 41. Sometimes I think there could be something in that - maybe polycystic ovaries? My IVF consultant did once say 'right side polycystic' and i questioned him about it. He said you have cysts but you don't have the syndrome so PCOS is not an issue. I still wonder about this but he was an excellent consultant from Edinburgh Royal Infirmary so I completely trust his judgement and think he would have seen something if there was a problem. I gave both him and my local consultant our full medical details and they've had a good look around up there on many occasions and neither of them came up with anything.

I believe it's my age but I've been told by others not to be fobbed off by this. So this leaves me with nowhere to go but Coventry for testing for NK cells and I didn't have the strength of heart to go to Coventry at age 42.

Thanks for sharing Anniehoo and you are DEFO amazeballs!!!

In my novice mind I thought it could be progesterone - only because I am having to take so much of the stuff to sustain my pregnancy - I am now on an injection a day, pessaries 3 times a day and gel twice a day...

I have PCOS - so I have cystic ovaries and also many of the syndrome symptoms (copius amounts of hair where it is not wanted, weight gain, insomnia, dry eyes, and so on). I also only have one ovary (other one eaten by a cyst when I was 19).

I think you could be right kwick, I think I need to be tested to see if I need progesterone. What test would I get for this? I'm going to try and see the gp this week and ask for it.

I also have facial hair (sidies) that I've mostly had lasered off but no doctor has ever asked me about it. My IVF consultant asked me if I had especially hairy legs and I said no because I don't. I've always been a bit overweight but not sure if that's connected. I have very thin hair on top of my head too that I manage to hide well. I would say I have mild symptoms of PCOS but not the full on syndrome.

Thank you so much for highlighting this and reminding me to pursue it with GP.

My progesterone is tested at least weekly with a blood test.
Also have they checked your tyroid levels?

Annie - my cycle buddy - congratulations!! I am so happy for you! I'm sorry for the late response - I've been away and I've just read this now. I hope you are feeling well. I will be thinking of you in these coming weeks and months.

Am just catching up but congrats to others too who have their bfp.

My AF came bang on time as usual but I was expecting her. Have been for my day 2 blood tests and have the day 21 ones booked in. DH has his sperm analysis booked in as well for later in April so at least we're trying to find out. Am coming up to fertile period so have decided to try that sperm meets egg plan this month to see if that makes a difference! We've started already so that's good.

I've had quite a lot of people this weekend telling me to 'just relax and forget about it and then it will happen'! They don't really know me very well I must say as there is no way I'm able to just forget about it!! Anyway, I know they mean well I suppose.

Jessie and Daisy I hope you are both well too and good luck to everyone else.

ahh the old "just relax and forget about it" solution. If only we'd thought of that! I find that such a thoughtless thing to say.

cityzen I'm glad to here you've got a plan of action. I have found that changing the variables can help you learn about what might make a difference. It's a huge "might" though. So dtd every other day starting early is one of them. Pillow under hips is another. It's also possible that the DHEA helped this month. Those are the 3 changes we made in this cycle. I'd tried every other day before and hips on pillow before but not for ages as couldn't be bothered anymore and was totally half arsed about it. My best friend's pg announcement really gave me the boost to properly go for it for one last time.

kwick, not been tested for thyroid for years but has been fine in the past (6 years ago maybe). Possibly was tested more recently as part of initial fertility tests but forgot. Thanks for your help with this. I'm also going to get Vitamin D levels tested as read something about that.

anniehoo my clinic tested me initially for thyroid - all fine, then tested again in December - put on meds, then again a few weeks ago - had to increase meds again.
Vit D - I know I have had a deficiency in the past so I take 1000 whatevers a day - they tested for this too and I was fine.
My variables were CoQ10, vit E, new magic potion donor, a hysteroscopy, oh yeah and IVF!!!!

Just back from GP and he did a urine test. At first he said it was negative and then a faint line. I did a Clearblue digital this morning and it said 2-3 weeks so i was a bit taken aback. Then he said "do you have your period?" I said no and he said "of course no sorry, but you have blood in your urine so I'll send it off to the lab". I'm really concerned about the blood in my urine now.

It's not sounding good. He's going to test my HCG and test it again next week and then discuss referral to ob/gyn for support. He was very supportive and kind. I don't think this is going to last very long sadly. The good thing is that it's so early I haven't got my hopes up.

Anniehoo - I'm so sorry you're having a worrying time. However, the fact that you've already got 2-3 weeks on your Clearblue test is very positive. Don't worry that the line at the GP's was faint - (a) the Clearblue tests are quite probably more expensive & better than the ones that GP's bulk buy and (b) at this stage it just comes down to concentration of urine (how much you drank beforehand/volume/time of day). I would wait and see what the lab says - if there IS actually tiny traces of blood in your urine, it could be for any number of quite benign reasons - like residue of implantation bleed, cervical irritation or even as result of a minor UTI like cystisis. Generally it sounds like your GP is being very supportive with HCG tests and referral to consultant. Have you had your first blood test taken yet? I do hope it all works out for you - you deserve a break.

Thanks chewy! Yes he is looking after me as much as he can I feel. He's going to ring me tomorrow afternoon with the blood (HCG) and urine results when he comes back from his home visits.

anniehoo what chewy said ^. Fingers crossed for you my lovely.

Hcg is 305 for yesterday's blood. GP said this was normal sounds low to me but what I've learned from all this is that you just don't know. Off for a long walk with the dog now after waiting by the phone for hours. Another blood test on Monday but long long way to go so just going through the motions. Very calm about all this!

Anniehoo that sounds encouraging. Did the Dr say anything about blood in urine? Keeping my fx for you!

Keep Calm and Carry On Annie. As I think you know, the clincher is whether it has doubled in the Monday bloods. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

My impatience to know one way or the other got the better of me!

7dp5dt. Official test date Wednesday with HCG blood test booked in.

Annie - am thinking of you. Is it today you have a blood test? Fingers crossed for you.

Sparrow - congratulations to you. Hope you are feeling well and your blood tests go well too.

I have been trying to follow the Sperm Meets Egg Plan thing this time. So far we have successfully DTD on day 8, 10, 12 and 13. I think we're supposed to do it again today and then again on Wednesday but we'll see how we get on later! If we don't manage today then defo tomorrow.

Hope everyone else is well.

Sparrow - Congratulations! That looks like a great line for only 12DPO in old money! I must admit, I had very high hopes for you with your three 5 day blasts - it will be so exciting to find out how many have stuck! Absolutely delighted for you . Honestly this thread is awash with BFPs at the moment!

Annie - I shall be crossing my fingers for you too that all is continuing to progress well.

Cityzen - sounds like you're on schedule with the SMEP and as this thread seems to be on a roll, it might just be your lucky month - FX.

Congrats Sparrow, fingers crossed for smooth sailing from now on!

Wow! Great news Sparrow!!
It's so exciting to get a positive test on those things!!
It Defo beats getting an email about hcg! (It never opens when I want it to!)
Looking forward to your hcg number! Mine was REALLY high, scarily so!!

I'd like to join this thread please.
I'm 42 and ttc since March 2016. Total newbie at all of this so any advice welcome.

OMG sparrow!! Yeehaa! Looking good for 12dpo too! How exciting! Wow.

city keep on going my friend, I know it's hell (sometimes!!) but it's worth it to know you gave it a really good go.

Blood test was today, result Wednesday. Managed to read the notes on the screen and Gp had written "looks very low". I knew that though so keeping expectations very low. Feel remarkably ok about it though.

kwick no I was bad and didn't Ask about blood in urine. I didn't want to hear it could be miscarriage so didn't ask. Head in sand technique. I'll ask next time if there is a next time.

Welcome powpow! You've joined the right thread, a real mix of us trying naturally and through assisted conception. Ask away if you have any questions.

Hello all, I'm 40 in a couple of weeks, and I've been waiting to join you - any chance you'll let me in a bit early please?

3 friends are currently pregnant naturally at 40 + which is very encouraging!

I've been following the plan in 'It Starts With the Egg'. (Although I did just have a weak latte and an apple muffin to prove to myself I'm not being too extreme.)

Welcome bonxie!! all nearly-40's very welcome!

Annie - will be thinking of you on Wednesday when you get your results.

We didn't manage to DTD again last night as we were both too tired but hoping for tonight and then off into the 2WW. Then we'll see. I am trying to think positive but is hard sometimes.

Welcome Bonxie and powpow This is a great thread - is really supportive and friendly and you get loads of good advice if you ask.

Was just thinking that I haven't seen Loueeza on here for a while. Hope you are OK?