Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

Kwick, looking forward to hearing how EC went.....

So Daisy they collected 2 eggs. I have to start injecting intra-muscularly tomorrow... starting with crinone tonight.
Fingers crossed that magic potion doing its job as we speak and I get some good news from embryologist tomorrow.

I had a bit of a freak out before the procedure - which is most unlike me - I suddenly felt very uncomfortable and not in control/felt everything was complicated but I had a bit of a cry and pulled myself together.

I feel a bit sore now - but am safe at home with a nice cup of cinnamon tea and hot water bottle and will take it easy today and prob rest of weekend.

Brilliant!! Look after yourself now, just think in a few days you will be 'pregnant until proven otherwise!'
I understand about the freak out, I think that type of situation brings that out of us. I felt like when I had the hysteroscopy, and a little cry and wondered what on earth I was doing!!!

Thank Daisy good to hear I am not the only one :)

Everything crossed for you kwick. Hang in there x

daisy had a glass of vino for you tonight! And everyone else for that matter

The clinic rang to say that one of the two eggs has fertilised - and the other is still in with the magic potion so may still fertilise too I am very excited!

Hello, mind if I join you people?

I am a few weeks shy of 40, have had 2 mcs and a molar pregnancy in the past year, while TTC; and 4 mcs before that. Not doing IVF as having no great difficulty getting pregnant; hoping to get referred to people who might do some of the screening tests for thrombophilias/ autoimmune / hormonal issues, but neither the referral nor the usefulness of the referral are guaranteed.

Daisy, so happy to hear everything is OK again now - that must have been a horrible scare for you. But how crazily exciting that you could have TWO in there! I wouldn't be able to contain myself with excitement ;-)

Congrats, Kwik! It's great that you're finding the IVF exciting and not stressful. I need to learn a lesson from you for next time! :-)

Welcome magnificat sounds like you have been having a tough time of it. Do they know why you are mcing? Perhaps you need some drug assistance after conception?

I just did the two new injections - Clexane and Lentogest. Lentogest is intra-muscular and with a HUGE (green) needle - but funnily enough went in really easily and did not hurt... perhaps I did it wrong or am just so fat it pads everything out... there was a lot of blood afterwards... hope I am not about to cark it...

Thanks Kwick. No idea why I'm miscarrying - it could just be the luck of the draw. All the mcs are 5-6 weeks so in the realm of not necessarily even being recognized as pregnancies by many people.

There have actually been very few times when I could have got pregnant and didn't. The first two mcs were nearly 15 years ago, both the product of slip-ups on short visits to a long-distance boyfriend (pre-DH); the second two were slip-ups with DH while on the POP. I didn't even recognize those two as mcs because I thought I was looking at evaporation lines on the sticks at the time - but since the most recent mc (a few weeks ago) I have realised that a faint line, while feeling very recognizably pregnant, is in fact a positive...

Well the good news magnificat is that you are clearly super fertile! But maybe you can talk to your doctor to see what help can be given. I am doing IVF and am taking shed loads of drugs to provide right environment for embryo to stick - no guarantee mind but will give me best chance.

Best tests are FRER - First Respinse Early Response - but if you need to test a lot then maybe buy some of the cheapie tests on Amazon (One Step) and if you get a faint line on them move to a FRER.

I'm stil taking loads of meds to prevent miscarriage too, progesterone pessaries and injections, estrofem for lining, aspirin, clexane injections (halted because of bleeding will resume later) prednisolone steroids which is being slowing reduced by 5mg each week.
Loueeza, not really excited yet, I go between overwhelmed, accepting, planning them chastising myself for planning when I just don't know what will happen. I am more accepting now though, it helps that I can l plan hired help. But there is a certain letting go of picture I imagined of one baby. But I also am aware that 2 embryos developing doesn't always lead to 2 babies. So it really is a taking it day by day and trying not to get bogged down in my head!
But there is a little smile on my face when I imagine things going well and looking forward to my life changing in an amazing way!

Daisyboo it looks like we are on a similar protocol. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. I know it is hard but I think it is a good strategy to just try and take each day as it comes.

Hi all,

I haven't posted for a while as nothing very exciting to report but I am now in Athens (!) and just had my first down reg injection + lesson this morning at the clinic. Luckily I have my mum staying with me so she is going to play nurse and try to do the injections, at the moment though she seems more freaked out about it than me! Let's see how it goes in the morning.

Dr said ovaries looked good and ready for treatment and he's hoping for 10 eggs! I think that's a bit wishful thinking and of course there's no guarantee on the quality which is the most important thing.

Fingers firmly crossed for you Daisy that all continues well, looks like you will be a very busy lady by the end of the year

Good luck also to you Kwick, I'm impressed that you managed to stab yourself with a huge needle.

Hope everyone else is well

sparrow your poor mum... I promise you it is not that bad to DIY with the injections! Best of luck with your treatment. What meds are you on?

I had my transfer today - a lovely day 3 8 cell embryo is now nested in moi :) 2WW here I come!

Hi Sparrow. Nice to hear from you! Athens, hey? So how long do you have to stay there for?

Kwik, congrats on the successful transfer. Just got to wait patiently now - or not so patiently if you're me!

Welcome to Magnificat, too. Sorry honey I didn't see your post until just now! Sounds like you've been through it too. It's really encouraging that you're getting pregnant easily though. A friend of mine just tested positive for immune issues and she's now going ahead with IVF knowing that her odds are vastly increased. Hope you can figure out what the issue is too. Thanks for joining us... the more the merrier!

Congrats on the transfer Kwik and good luck in Athens Sparrow

Annie are you on the 2WW now? We managed to DTD a few times over the last few days so fingers crossed. Does anyone get ovulation pain? I have never had it (or noticed it anyway) but then yesterday I was a bit sore down one side of my tummy and then started worrying that it was ovulation pain and actually I was ovulating later than I thought and what if we had DTD far too early and missed it! I told my DH and I think he thought I was being really paranoid! I'm going to calm down now...

Went to the doctors yesterday. She was very lovely and encouraging. Have to have the blood tests. Hopefully can do the day 21 test next week (if they can fit me in at the doctors) but then started worrying about the length of AF and what if she turned up early (which she sometimes does) so that test would have been on the wrong day. Reading this back I think I need to stop worrying so much! Anyway, DH has to arrange his sperm analysis and hopefully we can find out if there is anything that can be done to help us. Of course I am also hoping that I get my BFP this month and don't need to do all this but I am also realistic and feel a bit more positive that I'm doing something and not just worrying about it.

Sorry for the long post. Hope everyone is OK.

City, I think it's somewhat normal to worry a bit like that - just goes with the territory, depending on personality of course. But I've definitely been through all those sorts of thoughts/worries... and the rest!

It really is a good feeling when you feel like you're doing something though, isn't it?

I'm just relieved to be getting back to a normal 'trying' schedule this month after the IVF, for what it's worth. I was going to do the test to see if my tubes are OK but am going to delay for a month as I would have had to do it on exactly the day(s) I'm likely to be ovulating. Just couldn't face 'missing' another month! The same thing will probably happen next month, but really needed a break from any kind of tests or treatment.

Kwik and Daisy, hope you're both well today!

Hello again people!

Did you see this about the people who work on immune issues and recurrent miscarriage, at Sheffield?

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-35747199

Hi - I noticed that quite a few of you have been very busy with this TTC business, so I'm de-lurking just to wish you some extra good luck:

Kwick - love Daisy's phrase that you are now 'pregnant unless proven otherwise' and keeping my fingers crossed that your little day 3 embie is a sticky one!

Daisy - trust all is still well with cooking those twins?

Sparrow - Are you at Serum? They seem to have a very good reputation - I considered going there myself a good while ago, but (being a bit wet and pathetic, in hindsight) I couldn't fathom the logistics of taking my year old baby DD, as she then was, but now that she's a bonkers 2 year old, it would be even worse. Anyway, all the very best of luck - how lovely to have your Mum with you. And the prospect of 10 eggs, gosh I could only dream of so many! You could work on creating a five-a-side team out of that haul!

Cityzen - good for you with the tests, but like you say, don't overthink it. Provided you make sure you record the date of your last AF and next AF (if indeed it turns up ...) then your Dr will be able to interpret the day 21 result for you. Then if it's been done on the 'wrong' day, just make sure it's repeated - no big deal.

Loueeza - I'm so glad you're back trying after your IVF - lots of ladies seem to conceive in the cycle after IVF, so hope you can harness the fabled post-fertility drug boost too!

Magnificat - thanks for the link to the article. I'm going to shamelessly borrow it for the other 40+ TTC thread (do feel free to pop in, all welcome!) as there's one or two ladies on there who are interested in immune issues.

I went to the implantation clinic at Coventry hospital myself. I had the endometrial biopsy for uterine Natural Killer cells (all fine, so nothing to 'fix' there) and a consultation with Professor Brosens. He's clearly got a brain the size of a planet, yet is modest and charming with it - remarkable.

Annie - hope you're keeping your renewed good spirits up, that BFP coudl be just around the corner. (Or I'll come back and kick your a** again!)

My spirits are still up chewy! Save the ass-kicking for now!

I'm totally intrigued with this article magnific and a big welcome to you, I have been meaning to pop on to say that but wanted to take more time to write it as you've been through so much. You sound really strong. I was going to mention the recurrent mc thread too if you haven't already joined it. It's good here with the 40-ish ladies though

cityzen my cycle buddy! I've bee thinking of you. I'm not sure if I'm on 2ww yet so will keep on dtd. Managed day 11, 13, 14 and today day 17. Will keep gong just incase....

Need to catch up on the rest of thread tomorrow x

Nice to hear from everyone.

City is the day 21 test the one to check your progesterone levels to see if you ovulated? On my first test I got the days wrong and the result came out quite low, I calculated it right the next month though!

Fingers crossed for you Kwick in your waiting time.

Hope you are feeling well Daisy, how long will you have to continue taking all the meds for?

Hi magnificat, sorry to hear about your past mcs, I hope that you find some answers or at least a lot of good advice from your referrals.

I'm here for almost 3 weeks Loueeza, maybe more if I need longer stimming. I am very lucky in that if I have my laptop and internet connection I can be working, so I am here in the AirB&B apartment in between conference calls as I type! My mum is treating it as a relaxing holiday and in between coming to the clinic with me (and stabbing me with needles!) has been reading/visiting the museums and snoozing . We are even off to stay near the coast this weekend and my brother is coming over to visit as well. I thought that in this beginning phase, whilst it's just medications/scans I might as well make the most of being here.

I just started my first Gonal-F shot yesterday evening, the Dr has me on 300 at the moment and then I'm back in for another scan tomorrow morning to check how I am responding to it. I am also taking a low dose steroid in the morning, down reg Arvakap injection mid-morning and a low dose asprin at lunchtime (with vitamins and folic acid). For someone who barely takes one paracetemol a year it's a bit hectic but I am just seeing it as a means to an end and not thinking too much on it.

Chewy, no I am not at Serum. I lived here in Athens in 2003/4 and have a couple of friends here, one of whom recommended the clinic I am using. Having nothing to compare them with I can't say if it is better or worse than others here, but so far I have been very impressed. It's a private clinic (so not in a hospital) and because of its size I think you get very individual attention. The Dr (who is the owner of the clinic), worked in London for over 10 years and has many papers published on fertility issues on the internet, when we met him back in January we liked him straight away. With this and the cost being much less than a clinic of equal standard in the UK it was an easy decision to make. Plus it's also nice to have a break from the cold weather and no major distractions at home.

Good luck to Annie, Chewy and Loueeza with your TTC xx

Your trip sounds rather jolly sparrow - you know how to do it! Lovely that your mum is with you, enjoy the coast. Being happy is good for the whole process!

Hey cityzen I got a positive OPK tonight / CD18 on my cheapies so will DTD again tomorrow (did it last night) and 2 days after that to make sure there are plenty soldiers waiting at the gate.

Good luck SparrowSG! and thanks, AnnieHoo - as you'll see i'm already on the recurrent miscarriage thread too.

Day of ups & downs here. Phoned the GP, finally got test results back - all normal/negative for anticardiolipin, lupis anticoagulant, oestradiol, FSH, LH, thyroid. Hooray. Got referral to local fertility consultant people. Hooray. Referral got bounced, I don't meet the criteria (which seem to include being under age 35... ). Boo. GP agreed this is ridiculous, got another referral to the hospital gynae dept, hooray. Referral got bounced because GP hasn't done the thrombophilia screening in full that the district health board refused to let me have a few weeks ago. Boo, stalemate.

And now I am pregnant again anyway. Nearly threw up/fainted in the supermarket, suspiciously large boobs this evening, did a test, BFP. But it's only 3+3, so I'm definitely not getting excited or even contacting a midwife until I'm past 6 weeks, this time. Will be on the GP's back like a shot on Monday though...

Quiet congratulations to you magnificat. I appreciate why you're not getting excited. It's so shit having to fight and fight for help like you are. Keep strong, with all these barriers to care it's no wonder women take risks like self medicating.