Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

When is your next scan, Jessie?

6 days and counting till the 12 week dating and nuchal translucency scan Daisy!

So are you just going to wait and see if AF turns up after about 2 and a half weeks? I can see why you would, but I reckon I'd still crack and do a test. Best of luck, will be thinking of you.

Ooh, 6 days! Fantastic!!
No, I won't wait it out! No chance, haha! Not with a draw full of cheapie Chinese tests!! At probably won't turn up til I stop progesterone, so can't rely on that. It took 2-3 weeks for my period to come last time after stopping meds.
I reckon I'll test the nearest weekend so I don't have to go to work that day, and leave the blood test for a few days.
We will see....

I just want to avoid the several blood tests and agonising wait to see if hcg has gone up or down. I guess there is no avoiding it.
Hopefully it will be easier the 3rd time round.

Daisy, totally hear you on the testing thing!

I was dreading having to test on a work morning and was actually considering delaying until I got home, even though they'd told me to do it first thing.

Fortunately (??) I ended up testing at the weekend, as I suspected (rightly) that af had arrived. Funny how our bodies all react differently, isn't it? I can't believe your af didn't come for a couple of weeks. Mine came in full force 3 days before test day, and has only just stopped.

Hope you are relaxing and enjoying this respite from all the appointments/testing etc.

Jessie, that's just amazing that you're nearly at that all-important milestone. What an inspiring achievement!! :-)

I think the difference though is that in HK getting a blood test for hcg levels is standard whereas in the UK after IVF they don't do that and pee stick is the only test till they scan you at 8 weeks. So if I understand correctly Daisy you're going UK style this time and doing pee stick but not bothering with the blood tests as they just cause extra worry?

Were you on progesterone Loueeza? My first failed cycle it stopped my AF from arriving but it did arrive within a day of stopping them (I was told to stop after negative (pee) test on test day). I wonder if the early AF is a sign of anything as my doctor asked specifically in the "debrief" whether mine had stayed away till I stopped the pessary was. Are you being offered a debrief consultation?

Bloods is not typical for HK either. The clinic in Cyprus prefers this as it gives a more definite answer and can help to indicate multiples (also get progesterone tests at the same time to help let he clinic know if any meds need to be altered).
I will only get bloods if I get clear 'pregnant' on hpt, just cos of the ordeal of getting blood tests that were still not telling me either way.
I will decide properly nearer the time, as I have to go to a private clinic for blood test.

My HK GP ordered me bloods after a natural BFP and I also had them after IUI so it's definitely more common there than here.

I just thought, when it took a few weeks to get my period after stopping progesterone, that was officially an early miscarriage (hcg 200), so perhaps that's why it took longer to appear.

I think the private doctors are keen on it, Jessie. I can't imagine the local system would do an hcg test.

I probably will get a blood test when it comes to it cos Both times I got a positive blood test even though hpt had been negative.
Hopefully this time I get a clear sign from hpt, that would be amazing!!!
But, just in case, I have just purchased enough cetrotide injections for a future FET, so I don't have to pay through the roof to get them in HK

Yes, Jessie, I was taking progesterone morning and evening.

The nurse I spoke to on the phone the other day told me that most women don't get af until they stop these pessaries, but some still do. Your progesterone levels don't necessarily need to drop to 0.

I will mention it at my follow-up appointment, though.

All quiet here, how is everyone doing?
I'm 7dp5dt, getting regular cramps and had spotting yesterday, trying not to read into anything and just get on with hints.
Hope everyone is well.

*just getting on with it!!

The waiting and wondering is so torturous, isn't it Daisy.

When are you going to test? :-)

I watched a great video on Youtube the other night:

I just loved these two, and their story really encouraged me on a day when I'd been naughtily googling stats and thoroughly depressing myself. :-)

Loueeza what a lovely video - thanks so muhc for sharing :)

How are you doing Daisyboo?

I am waiting for af to arrive - I stopped norethisterone on Sunday... bloody hope she comes soon!

*much

I caved....I tested this morning at 8dp5dt.......
BFP!!!!

Eek!!! daisy!!!!! Fantastic news!!! It could be the cartoon dog!! Or the monkey. Or the chipmunk or all 4!!!! Fingers crossed for you xxx

Oh wait it was 3 wasn't it? How are you feeling? Xx

Haha!! I'll take the one monkey-chipmunk-dog, thank you!!
Feeling cautious as I have been here before (although I only got a positive much later last time), but happy that the first step is a positive one.
Going to work with a secret smile...

It was 3.
I have had spotting the last 2 days. I know is is fairly common but still made me panic, I know it could be implantation bleeding.
I did the test to see if anything is happening.
Going to keep testing...

Ooh Daisy, exciting!!!

Hang on in there - I know it's a strange, uncertain time. But don't forget you've got the luck of the monkey in there, whether the 'good' one was the monkey or not!!

Daisy that is so exciting!! Hope you are feeling well.

I'm due AF on Monday (or possibly weekend) and everything feels as though she will arrive as usual. Have sore boobs and my dh thinks this is bad news as I always get them before AF anyway but I think it doesn't mean anything really as they might be a sign and might not! Anyway, just trying to be patient and not think about it too much but of course I end up thinking about it all the time! So is my DH which is unusual for him.

Hope everyone else is well.

Thanks Cityzen, loueeza and Annie. I'm feel ok, still spotting so just relaxing and staying positive.
So hoping it sticks.....

Wow chipmunk monkey dog BFP congratulations Daisy!!!! Fingers crossed it burrows down nicely in there. This is where I tell you that if you thought the 2ww was bad.....welcome to the 12ww .

Mine is finally over and I am delighted to report today's sighting of a freaky little being turning somersaults on the screen and measuring just right for its tender age. The arms and legs have sprouted nicely in the month since we last saw it and it even did a little yawn/silent scream....

Thank GOD. I was really starting to lose faith in it still being there; so many sad stories of missed miscarriage on the Internet.

The unchallenged fold measurement was really good too- 1.2 which is better than average and miles away from the "worry trigger" point of 3. I need to wait for the blood test results before getting my final risk factor but am feeling sufficiently reassured to start telling people now rather than wait another 2 weeks for the results. I suppose I could pay £400 for a Harmony test tomorrow but think I will just choose optimism (probably for the first time ever in this whole TTC and pregnancy process.....).

Would be great news for us oldies if I get a risk factor low enough for them not to recommend any further testing.

city , hoping the combined power of both you and you DH's thought are gearing up to good news at the weekend. Love to everyone else xx