Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

Thanks again everyone for being so NICE! Means a lot ...

Update on me - I'm actually fine. Was disappointed and teary at first of course, with a killer of an af to go with it, but on balance I've realised I actually don't feel too much worse than I do on a normal failed month!

DH is helping me to look at it positively, from the point of view of how much we learnt about ourselves along the process this time, and to look to the opportunities of the future. We're seeing this as just another step along the road, really.

Next stop is an HSG, although I tried to book in yesterday and they're full for this month. The thing that's actually bothering me the most right now is not being able to just get on and try naturally again for a while. DH is going to be away this month at the crucial time (and I mean at the crucial time - no chance to try at all). Then if we do the HSG next month that's another potential month lost as they only do the tests on certain days and it has to be between day 8 and 14 of cycle.

Has anyone else done that test? Did you do it privately? How much did it cost? Might consider private if it isn't too expensive, just to get it out the way and move on. Don't know where to go though!

We probably will try another IVF, but maybe in a few months. I know time's of the essence, but I'd like to try naturally as well. I'd still love that to be the way we eventually manage it. I'm just wary of bankrupting ourselves for a slim chance - although you, Jessie, are proof that it can work!

I know there's a lot going on on the thread at the moment, with different treatments etc., so good luck to everyone!! (sorry to not mention all by name - in a bit of a rush!)

Glad to hear you are thinking ahead, loueeza.and Jessie, good to hear you are doing fine!
I'm all nervous now as I get picked up for embryo transfer in 50 mins!!!!

Best of luck Daisy! Do you get some time to rest for a few days before you fly again?

Yes, I fly in Friday so have a few days to chill out and avoid the waiters who keep asking me to go out for drinks or to show me around town!!

And done! Now lying down thinking postive thoughts

Loueeza, sorry to hear that you were not successful this time, it is good that you are not feeling too down in the dumps about it.

My friend had her HSG done privately (as the NHS machine was broken), she had a referral from her doctor and had it done at a private hospital. It wasn't cheap though, she thinks (can't remember for sure), it was around £480.

Daisy - fingers crossed for your 2ww! I thought your embryoscope images were amazing - really interesting. I'm dying to know what you decided to have transferred; mind if I ask how many and whether they were from your eggs or donor's? (Although I'm hoping not to disrupt your lying down resting if you reply!)

Thanks, back at the hotel and after a short walk to the shops I'm resting in the hotel room. The intralipids made me feel quite dizzy and lightheaded so taking it easy.
I had 4 blastocysts today and 2 compacts (whatever that means). I opted to have 3 put back (Dr wanted 4, but I think that is too risky, also with 3 that leaves me with 3 to freeze)
I didn't respond well to the meds so I only had 1 to transfer of mine and 2 donor. This is why tandem is good, things aren't cancelled if things don't go to plan.
Here are the (non gender specific) fellas!

Can anyone else see the face of a dog or a monkey in the second one?! Haha

Oooh Monkey, that could be a lucky sign for Chinese New Year!

Great news Daisy! I can see a dog's face in the second one ... hahahaha! (I zoomed right in and there it was)

Sparrow, thanks so much for the info. I imagined that it wouldn't be cheap. I think I'm going to wait and call the NHS back next month - I'm sure I'll get in eventually. If it takes TOO long though I might consider getting it done at the IVF clinic - £400 there for the HyCoSy (or something like that) which apparently is an alternative but serves the same purpose. :-)

Anniehoo thanks. Nasal spray is until at least baseline scan - so next milestone is sat when I stop one if the pills and then wait for af, then have baseline and stims start... Not long now! Am not feeling at all prepared!

Daisyboo so excited for you! Take it easy and best of luck! Remember to keep your feet warm!

What are intralipids?

Intralipids is for immunes. It's a solution you have as a drip after transfer

Daisy - I vote monkey. Clever Sparrow for making the Chinese New Year connection, lets hope it's an auspicious sign!
But really, your doctor wanted to transfer 4 blastocysts?!!! < Faints > I'm sure you've done the right thing in transferring 3, sounds like you have a marvellous chance - and frosties as well! Perhaps you can quietly expect to be pretty busy come late October? Wishing you all the best here too.

Another lady at the same clinic had 4 transfered too, she just got BFP today.
I think 3 is more sensible. Also the way I look at it, if it doesn't work then I don't think adding 1 more would have necessarily made it work. So I will try not to regret it.
Also 3 Frosties rather than 2 is better.
I would be amazed and ecstatic if one stuck!
I think it's definitely a cartoon dog or monkey! Very funny! If this works, i will think it's that one that stuck!! Especially as I live in Hong Kong and yesterday was day 2 of CNY!! I'll take that luck!

I'm laughing at chewy fainting at 4!
3 sounds great daisy, and 3 frosties - perfect.
I see a chipmunk!!!

Big news in this house tonight is that I'm going to be a great aunt!! Dh's nephew's wife is expecting. I'm really happy for them. It's the way things are meant to be. They're young and so good together.

daisyboo thanks :) so much still to learn!!!

So what is the secret to getting them to stick???!!!!

I just found out that my friend from work did 4 rounds of ivf - 4th time lucky! That was 12 years ago so I would hope the chances have improved (alongside the technology).

I wish I knew the secret to getting them to stick!!
It hasn't stuck twice before, despite rising hcg.
Hopefully the extra bells and whistles I'm having this time will help.
I think it's just luck and a bit of magic!

What are your extra bells and whistles? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Blastgen, intralipids, immune protocol (prednisolone) and the other after IVF meds.

Ooooo sounds like an interesting cocktail daisy....I am gonna see if I can get me somma that!

Oh it is all fun...especially the pessaries!!!!

Wow, you really are pushing the boat out Daisy! I have absolutely everything crossed for you and hope the Year of the Monkey is a lucky one for you.

when's your test date?

I finally stopped taking the pessaries last week - twice a day for two months has become quite a habit though and I sort of miss them :-)

It was all recommended stuff due to the implantation issues, Jessie. Hope it makes a different.

I can imagine after 2 months of the pessarues, it would be odd to stop them. Do you do it gradually or just stop?

I am not focus ing on the test date, cos the last 2 times it just led to a roller coaster of Hcg numbers...so I'm bracing myself for a extra week of emotional nonsense!!
So it's around 2 weeks.