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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

TTC #1 for 10 months and just got AF :(

67 replies

Panda1985 · 15/11/2015 12:58

I know some ppl try a lot longer but this is getting me really down now. I've had an internal ultrasound and everything looks fine apart from me having mild polycystic ovaries but I don't have any of the other symptoms and my husband's SA was good.
I just don't understand what's not working. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat? Or has any thoughts about anything else we can try? Already use cbfm to time when to bd, take prenatals, hardly drink and have cut out caffeine. Life TTC is getting a bit dull to be honest!!

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MummyBex1985 · 15/11/2015 14:05

Sorry to hear it's been difficult for you.

The sad reality is that up to a year is considered normal! Awful when each month feels like a sodding lifetime....

The only things I can add are to drink lots of water, maybe incorporate some fertility friendly food into your diet, and maybe try a fertility lubricant like pre seed. Also make sure your OH isn't frying his swimmers with hot baths.

Also if you don't mind me asking when did you manage to get fertility checks for both of you? I only ask because the general consensus is that they won't be done until you've been trying for over a year.

Original poster

Panda1985 · 15/11/2015 14:18

Hi! Thanks for replying and the suggestions :) Yes I know we technically fall within normal but like you say, 10 months can feel like an absolute age.
We decided to pay for it ourselves. I felt like I was putting more stress on myself with unanswered questions and it was worth the money to get some peace of mind or possibly finding out something was quite right.
Have you been trying for a long time as well?

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mrsstickll · 15/11/2015 21:36

Hi sorry af has arrived for you, no suggestions but in the same boat ttc#1 since the beginning of the year, I've never found anything so frustrating. We are going to look into initial tests in the new year.
We do use conceive plus around ov time too and this month I've gone completely dairy free seen as I have the slightest allergy, urgh I miss cheese!

Original poster

Panda1985 · 15/11/2015 22:23

Hey, sorry you're having to go through this too. I really never imagined it would be like this, was so excited but that has all disappeared now.
We've tried preseed a few times but my husband isn't a fan. Interesting about the dairy. I've been having acupuncture and she's told me to really cut down on dairy.
Guess we just have to say hopeful! I definitely found having some tests made me feel more relaxed.

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Tootsieroll1 · 15/11/2015 22:27

I'm in exactly the same boat and completely understand how frustrating and heart breaking this process is. Ironic after all the years we spend trying not to get pregnant and now how desperate we all are. FX for a positive cycle for you both x

Original poster

Panda1985 · 15/11/2015 22:35

Hi Tootsie, how long have you been trying? You had any tests?
Weirdly I always thought I'd have trouble. I had a few times when I was careless when I was younger and never got caught out. Seems like my premonition was unfortunately on point.
Have my fingers firmly crossed for us all x

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mrsstickll · 16/11/2015 10:23

panda thats reassuring for me that you've been told to cut down on dairy, did she say why?

Hi tootsie I do feel like I've been conned a little bit, it's drummed into you that if you have unprotected sex you will get pregnant and then unfortunately that's not always the case.
Tww for me

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 11:37

Basically dairy is seen as a damp food in Chinese medicine and damp isn't good. Especially if you have polycystic ovaries like me but even if you don't. So really need to look to avoid dairy, alcohol, fatty food, sugary food. Basically all the nice stuff.. Just to add to this fun time we're having! Sorry feeling a bit of a grouch today!
How's the tww treating you? What dpo are you?

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mrsstickll · 16/11/2015 12:12

That's interesting, are you going to give that a go this month? I don't really drink but Im not sure I could cut sugar as well as dairy! You're allowed to be a grouch it's a difficult situation and people that aren't in it don't seem to understand they just say "oh relax" and "when it's meant to be", I hate the latter. I think I am 5dpo but the cbd stick said I ovulated 9 days ago but that really doesn't fit so not sure what happened there. I'm always really positive before ov and then after I just feel like it will be another month of staring at a blank stick looking for a line

Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 12:50

Hi Panda

It'll be a year in Jan I have had blood and scan. Blood tests came back normal, although they were not done at any particular time during my cycles and scan showed a hint of PCOS but they wont do anything further until its been a year! x

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 13:38

Well I'm trying to be good food wise in any case, although had a bit of blip this weekend when AF turned up. I don't think I'm going to cut anything out all together because it's just too hard but will minimise.
My mood wasn't helped by a girl at work, who got pregnant by accident and has been so vocal through out said really merrily in a meeting "28 days until I finish for maternity."
I know she's excited, I would be but it really gets you in the gut!
Are you trying not to symptom spot? Easier said than done eh?!

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Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 13:41

Tootsie we're pretty much in the same boat then. I have mild pcos, but I have no other symptoms and I appear to ovulate. Almost wish I didn't ovulate so at least I could then take Clomid or something!
Has your OH had an SA? I've decided to get the AMH blood test done, knowledge is power and all that!

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Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 14:25

No he hasn't the doctor and consultant wont do anything for us. I'm going to go back on Monday as its been a couple months since we saw him, and just beg. I don't think they realise the mental toll it takes.

That really sucks about the woman at work. There was a thread on here a bit ago where a girl go pregnant and was asking for help because she didn't know how the father was....made me want to stick pins in my eyes!

Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 14:25

got and who......I'm not drunk I promise!

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 15:24

Yes go and beg! Have you got hit taking vitamins? My OH had slightly high abnormalities but I only managed to get him on vitamins about 3 months ago so I'm hoping things will now be kicking in!
Ppl just don't understand how heartbreaking it can all be when it happens so easily for them. I am going to be the most sensitive pregnant women ever, if it ever happens to me.
Turns out there is no point me having the AMH test if I have pcos because it'll skew the results. You learn something new everyday.

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Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 15:25

p.s. I trust your not drunk, we're not allowed to be these days, not without feeling guilty anyway!

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Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 16:36

Ha, isn't that the truth! I went to a friends birthday on Friday and felt so horrible the next day, woke up and had a bath to try and wash off the guilt!

He's taking the pregnacare for men but he's only been taking them for a week.

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 16:47

Yep can completely relate to that! A horrible catch 22 when this whole process makes you feel like getting blind drunk at times!

Do many ppl know you're trying? I think most of my friends have guessed, so I get sympathetic looks when I make excuses for not staying out drinking with them. Thankfully my line manager is really supportive as she's struggling to have her second so she didn't look at me like a loony when I burst into tears at work when AF arrived the other month!

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Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 18:18

Only close friends but only because I couldnt keep it from my best friend everytime I had a drink with her id start crying ha! And the other few I told because they kept saying "when are you going to have a baby" or "we really want you to have a baby" in the end I just told them to shut them up. Not one of them inderstands though.

What suppliments or vitamins are you taking? Xx

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 18:37

Yeah as much as they can listen and say nice things, you just don't get this until you live it. How old are you? Are you the first one of your friends to try?

Well as it stands I'm just on pregnacare. I was taking evening primrose, vitex, b6 and beetroot capsules when I was at my most nuts! I've stopped it all cus i'm just not sure it was doing me any good. How about you?

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Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 19:29

I'm 29 as is DH and yes, we were the first to get married and now the first to try for a baby. So for them its just very exciting that there might be a baby around, which of course it is but its not a quick shag and nine month later out slides a beautiful babe

How about you?

I'm on pregnacare too, agnus castus/vitex, zinc + vitamin c and folic acid. A nutritionist recommended blackcurrant seed oil or something like that but I haven't tried it, I honestly think you could end up taking everything under the sun if you listened to all the advice.

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 19:45

I am 30 and DH is 28, more and more I wish those number were the other way round! How long have you guys been married?
Unfortunately for me, but wonderfully for her, one of my best mates literally had a quick shag and popped a baby out 9 months later. Lucky bitch
Never heard of black currant seed oil, did she say what it's meant to do? I just keep thinking so many ppl get pregnant when they're drinking, smoking and eating what they like, can all these supplements really help but at least I feel like I'm doing something. How do you find the vitex?
x

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Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 19:54

Oh lucky her! That must have been a bit bitter sweet for you to hear.

Its an alternative to primrose oil. I like the Vitex, until this cycle I felt like it had really started to bring me in check but this month I'm all over the place again so who knows what it was that was actually helping.

We've been married 18 months. I've just made an appointment with a doctor tomorrow afternoon, a lady. Hopefully being female she may be more understanding but I still don't have any hint of AF and (TMI.....) lots of creamy cm. Getting really fed up! x

Original poster

Panda1985 · 16/11/2015 20:12

Well to be fair at the time I was dead excited for her bcus it was before I was even married. She literally got married and was pregnant the next month. We waited like 9 months and it's been another 10 now! I just hoped it would happen for me like it did her, especially cus I've always been regular, not too heavy, no pain, haven't taken bc in like 6 yrs. I just never envisaged it would be this hard.
Where are you in your cycle? Lots of creamy cm could be a really good sign!!
x

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Tootsieroll1 · 16/11/2015 22:07

Im 22dpo, and still getting BFN, cervix is high as well. It rose again about 10dpo. Its been so long that I've lost hope though. Im starting to think something is wrong. No other symptoms though, just twinges on my left side from about 7dpo. Driving me mad! X

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