The Bumsnet Bus: It doesn't matter how long your journey, or how many twists and turns you've taken, there can only be one destination: BFP! Wipe your flaps and jump aboard!

[eskimoflo]

Thought I'd get this party started. Here's the stats: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sHG9PPsOs0yIqgR-o2UXX_fdlCQXdVNLfmPpNOePPjQ/edit

May this bus yield many BFPs! Hoorah!

Happy birthday Dizzy!

It's all sounds quite stressful Sammy. I think you're adding pressure to yourself with the 2015 thing, though I totally understand why. I agree with chops about giving yourself some time out.

Happy birthday to dizzy!! Have a lovely day

chops I could read your story over and over, gives me hope! Not long now

sammy I also think a break may do you the world of good, your body doesn't sound like it knows whether it's coming or going at the moment. As chops said, enjoy Christmas, let your hair down and come back it it in the new year fully recharged x

I just looked at the test in a better light and with my contacts in and the 2nd line is there.

I think I'm going to have tomorrow's scan (otherwise I will always be thinking 'what if the lining had built up and I didn't check') and then if there's no positive signs on that then maybe call it a day this cycle. Need to discuss with dh when he gets home as it's his decision too.

The stupid thing is I don't really feel stressed about it, other than not being able to plan and be in control of it. Stress has never affected my cycles before except on the one after the first IVF when I didn't ov until cd19, pos opk on cd17.

Grr.

Anyway off on a nice dog walk now to relax. Have a great day everyone. Xx

sammy don't give up quite yet on this cycle unless you doctors tell you to. but, I agree generally with the others, take a break soon to give your body chance to return to normal cycles. You are still very young (comparatively to some of us here, and indeed many women who have babies). You honestly have time on your hands. I know the feeling of wanting to be pregnant in 2015 but really waiting until the new year might be better than keeping going with cycles like this. I'd send you the money but I don't have any.

Happy Birthday DizzyN! Hope you have a lovely day and that the sun is shining for you in your part of the world; it is shining here!

Sammy I think you should go for the scan. What have you spent so far recently? £800? Is the scan a further £200? It is a lot of money, but if it gives you any answers at all, then I think it's worth it. Like you say, you might be wondering 'what if?' if you don't... Also, I don't really trust OPKs 100% anyway. I've been using them for a year and always got positives around the 'right time' but blood tests showed time and again that I hadn't actually ovulated. I think I was getting the surge, but just not strongly enough to push out an egg. Scans and blood tests are much more reliable.

It's cd 9 for me today. I have been in the foulest mood all weekend and went to bed at 9.30 on Friday night because I couldn't put up with myself or anyone else any longer! It must be the clomid...

Hopefully we'll start DTD today, if I can convince my DH that I'm no longer an unstable, emotional, deranged train wreck...

Happy Birthday, DizzyN!

Great posts off Chops

Sammy, how many times during your ttc journey have you not ovulated? It is normal for us to have at least two anovulatory cycles per year, but I don't think you have reason to think this month is one of them. I think your irrational obsession to fall pregnant by the end of 2015 - coupled with the fact that, right now, you are watching your cycle/checking your hormones almost hourly - plus your other irrational need to be pregnant by a certain age is all fuelling this growing doom.

What CD are you today? What is your usual ov day? FWIW I don't think the 'stress' factor holds much water. Yes, intense stress can delay ovulation (and hence AF), but I don't really think it features largely in the grand scheme of things. I think you will ov this month, but your feverish need to see results this week is just making you implode with doubt and frustration. If this cycle is a flump then I would urge you to take PP's advice and look towards Christmas as being simply about festive indulgence (notwithstanding the fortune you've spent). Please don't panic about the money: it has gone. Been spent. And you have embies waiting. I promise you there is time - and plenty of it.

You are not broken. If I have to say this every single time I post I will, because you are naturally filtering out the truths of the experiences of this group: Chops; me; Pikz; Ninja... women who were desperate; women who got there through AI; women who were fucked inside (sorry Pikz!; women who were told there bodies were broken. I know these things 'only happen to other people' when it's you who is suffering this heartache, but keep looking at the fact. Do not allow yourself to languish in the future; the future does not exist

Magpie, you are such a great addition to the group I hope other lurkers come and join...

...I hate, hate, hate the child worship that is Facebook. I am absolutely sick to the back fucking teeth of several of my 'friends'' obsession with posting those bastard Time Hop photos showing their kids las year..the year before...four years ago...five years ago. Who gives a flying fuck what changes time has wrought on their ugly tots' faces? Piss off with your boring montage of your brats.

These things will always sting (scan photos/baby bombs) but the great thing is that stinging leaves us - at least 'til the next time. I ache with jealousy at the forrin 'olidays; the new cars; the nights out getting smashed in posh wine bars; the children dressed in mini Boden; the children being privately educated; the houses that are not on council estates. Sorry, I'm being inappropriate because none of this compares to subfertility - but I know how you all feel. And it's supposed to feel shit. It's not supposed to get better

I have never put a scan photo on Facebook, because I knew it hurts people. I definitely have 2 old school/uni mates suffering infertility and who knows who else might be suffering in silence. I told the people in my life in person or by email. A few bump pics snuck on after our holiday last month but nothing else has been mentioned. I have the grad group to discuss the highs and lows, which is fab and I can't wait to see the rest of you on there :-)

Bird - in the year I have been temping I have never had an anov cycle. The one before I started was a random 43 dater despite having had a positive opk on cd14, which is when I learnt that a positive opk does not = ovulation.

I'm on cd15 today and I usually ov between cd14and 16 based in temps and opks. You really think I'll still ov?

If this doesn't work I think we will have an enforced break anyway due to the clinic closing down for Xmas, and the fact that they're already pretty booked up for November... Although if they say they can fit us in then it will be very hard to say no.

Your post made my eyes leak, not because you said anything hurtful, but because you put in to words exactly how I feel.

I solemnly promise never to post baby scan/bump picture on Facebook. Only someone who had gone through infertility can know how much these hurt, so I don't blame others for doing it. I would hate to be the cause of someone else's tears though, so won't do it. Xx

Yes, Sammy, I do think you'll ovulate this month - because you have no temp charts to show you're wonky. Why would you go wonky this month? You're not broken

This pregnancy I haven't posted a scan photo, precisely because they are stupidly boring to everyone. I have, however, posted a couple of bump photos. I'm astonished and proud of the bodily changes - and I waited forty-two years to get this dream, so...yes...it is exhibitionism. I've always thought (even when i was in childless agony) that a bump photo down the line of an established pregnancy is less agony than a scan pic used as a pregnancy announcement. But I may be making excuses...

No you're right, for some reason photos of bumps, and the actual baby once they are born, are far easier to deal with than the scan pics! Not sure why really?

I wouldn't deliberately avoid photos of me with a bump going up, what I wouldnt do is post the 'me and bump 32 weeks' pics - just my preference.
The difference is, you've told people your problems, where as if I did it any infertile friend would think 'oh, another woman who's got pregnant easily'

I don't know why I wouldn't ovulate really, it just seems given my lack if lining or visible dominant follicle that that's the way I'm heading. Xx

Happy birthday Dizzy

Hi all, I've just been back over the end of the last bus and this one again and updated all of the stats I can find. Can people have a look at them and let me know if they need changing? Glittery thought that she had made them public, but realised that she hadn't and you therefore have to request editing rights! It was a mistake on her part, but I requested access, so I've got them as up-to-date as I can.

Mine is all correct apart from the fact that I'm on Clomid

What dose Magster?

Happy birthday dizzy

Sammy you've been given some great advice and I can't add anything useful but I do know that it will work out for you

Thanks for doing the stats eskimo. Will update mine when AF arrives.

I don't use FB and only signed up to join the grads beyond that I have no interest to use FB.

100mg eskimo
Last pill tonight, then the nervous wait to see if I ovulate!

BabyBumpHopeful, 32, TTC#1, Cycle 9, BFP due Nov 8, 2015
Vitamins/Meds: Multi+Folic, Vitex 500 2 x day
Investigations: AntiMullerian, Glucose, Insulin total, T4 free, TSH

DizzyN Happy Birthday!!

sammylou1 totally understand the money side of things! We only did the bloodwork and I baulked at the cost. Next year is going to be our expensive year. My DH needs surgery on his leg again, plus the fertility testing/treatment stuff. We have insurance but deductible and co-insurance is going to hurt! I think you should take some time to decompress and try and focus less on it all. That's part of the reason I'm here rarely. I'm hoping that if I don't think about it it'll happen...

Re: the baby posts / scan photos on FB. I'll probably one of those obnoxious people who has a separate (and private) "page" or "group" for kid pics. I live overseas from my family and it'll be the only way for them to keep up with their niece/nephew. My sister and her DH were horrible about putting photos up. I'll see one a year maybe. Sad really.

As for an announcement... I enjoy thinking about things like that and watching those vids on YouTube of families and friends being so happy. My sister did a stick figure family (like a "draw your family" thing) and it said "Mum & Dad" with "her" being big bellied. Another friend did the shoes thing. Another did the washing on the line. All said after 3 months... I'm not sure I could wait that long because I'd be so excited. It'd probably be something nerdy (like Star Wars, or computers, or cars).

My friend has PCOS and a whole host of other issues. She ovulates maybe twice a year. Clomid wasn't helping her at all. She just did her first month of something called femara. She hated how it made her feel but just got the news they're pregnant!! I was the first person she told (including her husband) and she was worried about telling me in case it upset me. It really didn't because I know how hard they've been working at this. And how long they've been trying and all the things they've gone through. Hard to feel bad for someone like that :)

Sorry for the mammoth post, it's been a while :)

####stats#####

Probably best to remove my bfp date for now as I have no idea.
Not sure if you want to put IVF natural FET cycle? 5 frosties waiting.

Happy Birtday for yesterdayDizzyN!! Hope it was a good day for you :-) Safe travels, enjoy your break!! I hope you can have a chat with your DP, but FWIW it sounds like he's doing his best-this must be taking it's toll on him too. Anyway, have a good time

Trying.not.to.symptom.spot.

Re the chart above-if I remove the high Saturday spike then FF puts o at CD12, if I leave it in then it's CD14 (neither of which would work with our BD pattern, on account of DH being away). IT WAS MEANT TO BE CD18?!?!

Fx Kir!!

Thanks fly.

I don't temp so afraid I can't be much help with your chart.

When is your BFP Kir? are you keeping yourself busy?