The Bumsnet Bus: It doesn't matter how long your journey, or how many twists and turns you've taken, there can only be one destination: BFP! Wipe your flaps and jump aboard!

[eskimoflo]

Thought I'd get this party started. Here's the stats: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1sHG9PPsOs0yIqgR-o2UXX_fdlCQXdVNLfmPpNOePPjQ/edit

May this bus yield many BFPs! Hoorah!

Ps. DizzyN - baby making dtd is rubbish... After about three months you forget the excitement of making a baby and it becomes a chore.
I have to say our IVF months (until I've got ill anyway) have been THE BEST sex as neither of us was doing it because we had to!

That does remind me that I need to buy more Conceive plus lubricant. It does make things easier, bloody expensive though!

Just popping in to tell you all that you're all bloody amazing.

You're right bird, I completely agree he is doing me a disservice. But will he change? Nope. So I just have to go along with making sure I'm available when he is willing, which to be fair to him is often 3 or sometimes 4 times in my predicted 'fertile' week, but then comes the problem of my body. Every single month the goalposts move. A few months ago I didn't ovulate until cd fucking 28.... Last month it was early on cd16. So it makes it very difficult to plan, he does have a short threshold as to how long he's prepared to keep going for, as do I, so on months where ov is late it's hard keeping him motivated when I'm completely in the dark about what my body is doing! This combined with shift patterns, unexpected overtime, life getting in the way.......etc etc. So this is why I've started using opks again, but then I get into a catch 22 situation because they stress me out and ov gets delayed because of the stress.

This month it's my fault though, I've got a wedding reception tonight and seeing a friend who's visiting from Italy tomorrow who I only see once in a blue moon. What's a girl to do?

Yay!

Might see if I can pounce him first thing in the morning.

pixa same back at you, you are bloody amazing.

dizzyn I do wonder if shift working affects your cycles. I know when k used to fly long haul regularly my periods were a nightmare. I take it there's no way you could not work shifts whilst ttc? Sorry for the double negative... For what it's worth your DH and mine sound similar. Very hard to do much about it.

dizzyn hugs. But you're away next week right? Keep motivated!!

If it makes you feel any better I'm in a similar boat-DH away the past 3 days and away all of next week... I've almost given up for this month based on that! Is it worth even trying to dtd this weekend in the hope that'll be enough?! Probably not...

You guys are all bloody legends for keeping going, I hope you know that!!!

Dizzy I really hope things work out for you and you manage to dtd more often. Others have already said how rubbish ttc sex is and I can only agree. It's a chore and sucks all the fun out of it. Although DH doesn't say anything I'm sure he feels the same. There's too much pressure on us but fx you'll get there

Sammy I have everything crossed for some positive news tomorrow.

Pixa you're beyond amazing lovely.

Welcome amanda. Hope your journey on here is short.

I've continued with the opks out of curiosity and the line is starting to get darker. Off to dtd as we may as well make the most of this opportunity!

I'm so jealous of all your positive opks, mine was a barely there line this evening!
Will update after the appointment, it's not until 11.30 though. Xx

It's difficult boris isn't it. It's so difficult to broach the subject with him too, he knows how important this is to me but he's firmly in the 'relax and it'll happen' camp. And I don't want to show him the crazy either so sometimes I struggle with how to go about discussing it.

I seldom work night shifts these days so I'm not sure whether it is the shifts as I don't normally work past 1am. Funnily enough before doing my current job I also did a lot of travelling, I was a long haul trolley dolly! That's a long time ago now but I came off the pill whilst doing that job and have never had regular periods since. I'm certain stress affects my cycles but maybe there's something else going on. Until DP gets tested I'm not going to find out though! Grr.

flyby is your DH at home over the weekend? DP has made some time tomorrow so hopefully we can plonk the kids in front of a movie and sneak in a cheeky shag! I just hope I don't wake up to a temp rise though! In the past I've had two days of positive opks so fx I haven't ov'd yet.

I came home early from the reception hoping for sex though and DP was asleep snoring in front of his iPad! Sigh.

dizzy hope you got busy! Yay for dark lines!

amanda you're an inspiration going for number four despite the odds! How old did you say you are?

sammy good luck for tomorrow's appointment!

DizzyN, have I been harsh on your DP? I think I may have. I didn't realise he sometimes puts out up to four times during your fertile window. Nowt selfish about that! Your irregular ovulation is most certainly not helping and I'm sorry I didn't know that was a problem for you. So...there's a mixed bag of stuff going on: you ovulate all o'er t'shop; DP thinks if you 'relax it will happen' (which is a whole other thread entitled Leave The Bastard ); your DP is shattered frequently from his work; you don't consistently have plenty of sperm in situ at the right time every month.

I think if you broke this down into small(er) issues and concentrated on tackling them one at a time, you might feel a little more empowered and in control. Where could you start? Has a GP ever been made known of your erratic ovulation? It's never really okay or easily explainable when a woman ov's on cd18 one month and then cd28 another. I'm not saying it's major, but you shouldn't be putting up with it. A good GP (or a shouty-enough patient) will get those cycles regulated.

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say (despite not being a doctor but having sat under the learned consultant Dr Willetts for several years) that I do not hold out much hope regarding the quality of an egg that is released beyond 21 days in any given cycle. Regulating ovulation is where you should start, I think.

If your DP does not seriously get his arse to the spaff clinic by the New Year I would be having A Conversation with him regarding commitment, loyalty and responsibility. I know it's hard raising the subject of a man's willingness to shag/get tested when he's an otherwise decent bloke who works hard and puts the toilet seat down. But you want to be a mum. You need to be a mum, and this shit needs dealing with.

Sammy, we're rooting for you so much. Hold on tight

birdie I ovulate consistently at cd23. Are my eggs bad?

sammy I hope you get some good news today and yet another cycle is wasted :-( I also hope that your reaction to the drugs isn't reflective on how sick you will be when you finally become preggo

Morning everyone else, have a good weekend x x

Thinking of you today Sammy and hoping for good news x

Boris when I briefly used that sperm donor he absolutely refused to help people who worked shifts saying it had an adverse affect on cycles so who knows

Chops - they've already said I will most likely be very sick if I get preggo :(. Xx

sammy wishing you all the luck today!!!

Bugger. I've just woken to a .5 degree temp shift. Wtf?!? I've been doing opks and they've been all coming out negative. We've not dtd since Monday (DH got back really late last night so there was no chance). I've not noticed obvious ewcm (I thought it was more creamy) and my last cycle I o'd on cd 18-today is cd15 and when I put the new temp into ff it says ovulation on cd 12?!?!? (There was a really slight temp increase on cd 13 but like .1 deg). Can you o without a positive opk?!? It's just the cheapy amazon ones but I've been doing them when I get home at about 6:30-7pm every day. I know this is just one temp point (maybe I'm getting ill?) but... W.T.A.F

Fly - I wouldn't worry about one temperature rise, see what tomorrow brings. It could be anything, disturbed sleep/hotter room/slightly poorly
If you have a short surge then it's possible you missed your opk if only testing once a day, but fingers crossed this is just a fluke temperature rise and it'll go back down tomorrow. Xx

Just had the scan. My lining has shrunk slightly (although she said the machine used yesterday wasn't as accurate so might just be the same) but the quality looks good. No obvious dominant follicle but had the attached on an opk this morning which she said doesn't really fit together. I'm a medical mystery, my stupid body can't do anything right. Got another scan Monday morning unless I get a positive opk over the weekend in which case it's game over as the lining won't be thick enough by then. It's so frustrating. All they keep saying is 'you've got 5 good quality blastocysts, you've done the hard part' - it doesn't feel like it

Such a busy bus I'm struggling to catch up

Kir I'm the same positive until ovulation. Then after I just think on to next month

Hi Amanda another mum to 3 boys here. I think I saw you on another thread. **

Sammy I hope today brings better news for you you deserve some luck.

DizzyN hope you get some dtd action too. We have definitely made more of an effort the last two cycles but it's difficult as DH was working away. He's local until Christmas now though.

Well I don't appear to be getting a positive opk with the ics. I always got my peak day with cb maybe I'm not ovulating after all.

TMI ive had severe constipation. Ive been in agony all week. I was hoping it was a symptom but I think not with no positive opk **

Grr don't know what happened to that stupid post

Kir, this blog demonstrates the pendulum of opinion. Like I said, I'm not a doctor, but there is lots of academic opinion out there that points to late ov equalling poorer quality eggs. That does NOT mean unviable eggs.

How long have you been tyc? Have you had FSH (day 3) tests done yet? What was the result?

I would urge anyone with consistently late ovulation who isn't getting pregnant after a year to pay for one consultation with a fertility specialist. Pay the £200+ to go private and ask the cons straight out what he can do to bring of forward.