April 2014 ttc thread - come on baby cupcake!

[zombiemeow]

Shiny new thread and this time I got the title right!

We're all waiting for baby cupcake to come along

No, no floods Cupcake. Has looked like rain all day but hasn't actually rained. Have had storm warnings but nothing actually happened as yet.

Your poor DS. Hopefully he is over the worst of the virus and his temperature will stay down now and he'll pick up.

I am going to work for two half days this week. they are called keeping in touch days. I feel really odd about them, part of me just does not want to go and part of me really does- but I am scared we are not going to cope with both of us doing these high stress jobs. We are used to staying late at work - 7 or 7.30 pm- then going out for a meal and a drink a couple of nights a week and coming home to bed. Or coming home late and working a while then eating late and staying up to see each other. Weekends we just did what we liked and it all sort of balanced out and that was when DH had a less stressful job. I can't see how we could possibly have another baby.

Am just wittering on really. DS is in bed. DH is working. I am a bit bored. We had veg soup for tea and it was delicioys. I bought a soup maker ladt winter and just threw in carrot, swede, a oarsnip, a potato, two celery sticks, half a leek and some marigold stock. It takes 20 mins and it was delicious. DH can take some to work for his lunch. Tomorrow I am adding some barley and me and DS will have the rest of it for our lunch. I will make somemore with butternut squask for tomorrow night. DH says I am a domestic goddess. He is just hopeful of an early night now Downton is finished

Hope ds has made a quick recovery cupcake, viral infection is all they ever seem to say. Are you still breast feeding now? Or expressing? Or formula?

Lulu, isn't it past dh work hours?! Your soup sounds lovely and you do sound like a domestic goddess!! Hope your kit days go well, bet you will enjoy it. I do miss work, well not work but the people I worked with.

He had until 9 to finish Ducky- and to be fair he hadn't done any work all weekend. That is how I knew what his plan was. 9pm, work finishes, Downton is now finished, we could have an early night. I can read him like a book.

I am so not a domestic goddess. Our dining room is still unuseable from the builders. Full of tat from other rooms. Domestic slattern might be more appropriate. I only do what I want to do.

DS has been awake since 5.45. Nappy changed and is having his milk in our bed- he is sleepy now. DH still asleep. I might get another snooze. I am meeting a friend later on for coffee- she runs her own business- can't wait to hear how she is doing.

Well, my friend, who has set up her own consultancy business says she could guarantee me as many days a week work as I want, supporting schools with specifc projects if I fancy it. eg 3 days a week at a really good rate of pay. I am so tempted. If I did it for a year then had a maternity leave - which would not be paid- the stress levels would be so much less for us. Even if I did 2 days a week (then we would have no nursery fees although we would be paying SIL). It is a drop in salary overall because I would only get paid for the days I did and no school holiday. But it would mean I was working, I did not have to be there at silly o'clock, my day would end at a resonable time ege 4.30 or 5 and I would have much less prep and stuff to do at home and more time with DS. We don't need the money, I just want to feel like I am independant and contribute.
But I would be giving up a Deputy Head job! That is my grumble about it. It is my career down the drain as such- no opportunity then to be a Head BUT it could open up other opportunities.
I need to speak to our Head about what he would expect in terms of notice etc.He needs to save so e money so he might be prepared to let me go. DH is all for it.

Lulu, u so what u feel is best for u :) go for it if u think Ull be less stressed and have more time at home :) might be the best thing u ever do.

Ducky DS1 is a bit better tonight but he was sick 5 times this morning!!
I'm mostly bottle feeding now ducky, expressing 1 bottle a day the rest formula. It was becoming impossible to sit and feed for over an hour each time as well as looking after DS1. So bottle feeding is a lot easier tbh, for me anyway. Means I can look after both boys well :)
How's ur DS doing with sleep ducky?

There's an opening for my dream job as well. I started the application but I'm reluctant to send it. It would mean going back to work 1st week of January if I got the job, DS2 would only just be 2 months old. :/ that's really soon. But the position never comes around often. It's a healthcare assistant at my local hospital. The pay is rele good and it's also a part time position which is what I'd want. But DS2 being 2 months old is just so young, I don't think I could leave him so soon :/

Lulu, sounds ideal, so nice that your dh is so supportive! Do you think you will go for it?

Cupcake, that's a difficult one! How would you feel about leaving ds2 at that age? Maybe apply anyway and oh you don't want to leave ds2 so early you could negotiate a start date ?

Could you start it on maternity leave Cupcake? You should be able to. You should not be disadvantaged by being on maternity leave- they should honour that.

Poor DS1. He must have felt awful. Glad he is picking up.

I feel so torn about it all. I never thought I would not want to work. Part of me desperately wants to work and have my busy, challenging job back, but I did that without a baby. I don't think it would be fair to DS or to our marriage, or to the job now. None of them would get the time they need. May be this is just DH's career time for a bit. But it is likely to mean I will never be a Head but then does that matter really? We have waited a long time to have children and I do love being with DS and even if we never have any more, I don't want to miss all of his toddler years. But we would like one more - have gone off idea of having 3 - and I know we could not do it with both of us doing this job full-time. We would end up very unhappy and probably not together.

DH would stay at home and let me work but I have to give birth and be pregnant and on maternity leave.

I think if the choice is really there I have made my mind up. I can't tell you how relieved DH would be. We have both been dreading the additional stress of me working full-time like I used to. I am going to talk to my boss tomorrow afternoon. He is decent and will tell me honestly what is possible.

Ducky that's what I'm thinking, just apply anyway see what happens.

Lulu I don't think they'd give it me if I asked to continue my mat leave id probably have to finish mat leave and start straight away.
Good luck in what u choose to do about ur job :) if u wanted to go back to the same role later in life would u be able to?

Well DS1 is off nursery because of him throwing up yesterday. But he seems better today :) so back to nursery tomorrow! Yay!

Cupcake, I might be able to but it is not very likely. But my boss said today he could see it might lead me in other directions I would be quite interested in. Our school budget is in a mess so he said he would talk to the govs about allowing me to skip my notice period if it is what I really want, although he would not accept my resignation today, he said I can think about it until Friday.

It would mean I did not have to go back or pay any of my maternity pay back but I would lose my notice pay. Six and two threes really. He said he would right me a lovely reference and we discussed some things he might buy me back as a consultant to do.

I have made my mind up. DH is so pleased. But we are losing the financial security of my salary even though we can manage without it. It was a good cushion to have two secure salaries and now we will have one plus half an insecure salary!

I just think it is right for us for the next few years but I will kill DH if he ever leaves me and I have given this up.

How is ds1 today cupcake?

Lulu what is consultancy? Is it something you would enjoy doing at your new job? Your current one does sound like a stressful environment.

I'm sure DH won't leave u Lulu!
It'll be good for all 3 of u if ur in a less stressful job :)

Ducky DS1 is back to himself today :) he's just left with a cough that's all.
Have u managed to chase up the sleep clinic?

My moms popping round this evening which will be nice :)
I think the baby blues are only just hitting me, I feel emotional and down for no reason

It means instead of working for a school, a school buys in independent services from a consultancy. So a school might ask for someone to work one day a week for half a term helping them develop a CPD system or improve their provision for particular groups of children- so I would be paid to advise them and help them. The pay is good but it is just two or three days a week (at least that is what I would want but my friend gets loads of requests and said she could employ me full-time if it is what I wanted but I definitely don't).

I hope he won't leave me Cupcake He said he will never leave me but how many men have said that and then their heads are turned by some young thing! Younger and more gorgeous who massages their ego and their mid-life crisis and makes them feel young.

I had baby blues about 2-3 weeks after DS was born. Do you feel weepy? I had really awful thoughts about how pointless everything is. I walked it out of me, every day along the seafront with DS in his pram, miles of it in the winter.

How is your infection doing?

Lulu I think u get more beautiful with age! :) I think men who wonder off with younger women are silly!
DS2 is 3 weeks old now, it's hit me. I do feel weepy yes. I keep having horrible thoughts that DS1 just doesn't love me because I don't give him as much attention as I used to because of DS2.
I think my infection has gone, I'm back at the doctors tomorrow to check its cleared up. It looks okay now so I hope it's gone!

I agree Cupcake- I think silly is a kind word for what they are- but many, many of them do it because they are led by their penises rather than their brains.

Hahaa Lulu u are so right

Got both DS's weighed today!
DS2 is now 8lb 13oz !! Same as what ds1 was when he was born! but they said he's put a lot of weight on in just a week! 13oz in a week.
DS1 weighs 27lbs 12oz but they said he's a perfect weight and just what they expect :) phew!

Lulu your dh won't leave he loves you and your ds.

Cupcake that's good weight gain!

I want to put my x mas tree up just having a cuppa and watching the walking dead

DS is 19lbs 10oz. He is quite sturdy I think. He was 7lbs 12 oz when he was born. So that is OK. DS1 sounds like he is gaining well Cupcake.

DH was home from work today at 4.30! Hurrah! We went for a walk and then he was able to play with DS and bath him after tea.

I am definitely confirming I am handing my resignation in tomorrow. I know DH loves us now Ducky but you just never know what will happen. I am not expecting him to change his mind but it happens. I would cope but I would be angry if I had given up my career.

I am wondering about DS and a christmas tree. We do have a tree- a big one but the last couple of years we have had a lit branch tree with about 40 very precious baubles on. We buy a new bauble every year as something that is ours. We have 7 now and my mum had all of mine since I was a baby - she and my dad bought me one every year- so we have those too and I have bought myself one every year since I had my first flat until I met DH. Now we are buying DS one every year- we got him one last year but he wasn't quite here.

I am wondering big tree or perhaos that next year. I think he would like all the sparkly lights and baubles on the branch tree.

Oh Christmas trees.. I'd be quite happy not to have one up this year last year DS1 was 1 and he would just constantly pull off the baubles from the tree. And he'd also pick at the tinsel and itd make a mess on the floor. In the end we had to baracade the tree behind drawers in the corner just so DS couldn't get to it. The tree came down on New Year's Day
I like my tree tho, it's white and I have pink and purple baubles and tinsel :)

Lulu I like the idea of buying DS a bauble every year, that's a lovely idea :)
DS has an angel with his name on to hang on the tree and also a small snow globe my mom got him for his 1st Xmas.

Well tonight DS1 is being a nightmare!! He woke up at 11pm and has been screaming ever since. He can't decide what he wants!! He won't get back in bed, he won't get in my bed nothing. Just sat on the floor crying. Don't know what to do.

Ahh lulu, any plans on how to baby proof your tree? I think ours will end up on the floor every few seconds. I recently brought a new one, a slim pop up one, I have tinsel with ghosts on and little jack skellington baubles.

Cupcake we have baubles with dd's and ds's names and dob on but they're glass so will have to find somewhere else to put them this year! Did ds1 go back to bed in the end? Could you figure out what was wrong?

We had a bad night, I don't think ds is very well. He went to bed at 7 and I didn't hear a peep from him (which is strange) until midnight where he woke up screaming and crying, nothing would calm him down and he was dripping in sweat, all his hair was soaked. I stripped him off and gave him some calpol and took his temp and it was 37.9. After a while it came back to 37.5 but he was up until 3.30 very upset

Oo a slim pop up one sounds good! Where did u get that from?
And ur night sounds similar to mine. I think it was also around 3am when we got to sleep. I've no idea what was wrong with DS. He was also sweaty but he's usually sweaty at night lol

I'm exhausted this morning tho, and I know I won't get to have a nap or anything. I need a lot of coffee
How's DS this morning ducky? Does he have a temp still? I wonder why his temp went up? Hope he's okay bless him

Does anyone know if a tommee tippee prep machine is on offer anywhere? I rele want one but don't fancy paying £120 :/

It's £75 at John Lewis at the mo apparently cupcake but you can usually get one for £60/£65. Have you looked at toys r us? That's where mine was from.

My Xmas tree was from Argos on sale for £20, have put a pic of it on, but I have taken off the gold things, am having silver and black

Ds is poorly he's very clingy and grumpy. He feels very hot, his temp is 38.1 should I be worried? I have given him calpol.

Forgot the pic!