April 2014 ttc thread - come on baby cupcake!

[zombiemeow]

Shiny new thread and this time I got the title right!

We're all waiting for baby cupcake to come along

Oh is it really bad iam? Ms is horrible. Hope your appt went well today.

Cupcake that's crap about the spd, I would give them a call, May aswell while you have the open appt. hopefully it's just recovery from the c sec. Did they give you some good pain relief to have at home?

Am praying for a miracle hoping ds sleeps well tonight. He slept quite well last night, only two or three wake ups, but there are lots of fireworks going off tonight and they kept him up late on Halloween

It's a bit more manageable with the meds ducky I still get the nausea but it seems to be more difficult for me to be sick, still gag and retch but it calms I suppose no appetite, just had to force dinner down. Looking forward to bed tbh!

Sat on the sofa with my cats cuddled in, dds both showered and in their pj's and DH is doing college work so nice and chilled.

Current symptoms include alot of discharge down below which is gross! Boobs are still painful but nothing like they were last week.

Hope everyone is well

Oh my appt is next Thursday, wasn't today.

Sounds like your having a chilled night. Do you have any feelings whether it will be a boy or girl?

I never really had sore boobs, I had them with dd but only for a day or so. They were awful after having ds though

Ducky I came home with no pain relief at all I wasn't allowed the ibuprofen as it made my chest wheezy and apparently they just tell u to go buy paracetamol!

I hope DS slept well for u.

Iam ur symptoms are well and truly kicking in! :) tho that's good as it makes u feel pregnant :) i had sore bbs, when i went in the shower, that's how I knew I was pg

Went to dm's last night with the kids. It was her bday :)
It was hard work getting everyone ready and out the house! I was exhausted!!

Today I'm off to get DS1'S hair cut.... We'll see how this goes!

Hope everyone's alright and has a good weekend! :)

No pain relief?!? That sounds mad!

Well I'm a bit releived/anxious. I have told my family that I shall be leaving h in the new year. Want to get Xmas out the way to avoid big arguments about visiting etc. scary stuff.

I just can't imagine living like this any longer, it's not nice for da either.

Can't update much atm as no internet connection and my phone internet is almost out

Oh Ducky. What made you make your mind up?

I have been very fed up with DH this week. Just have not liked him very much, never mind loved him. He is stressed at work and really short and snappy here with me and I am just not having it. He has gone to his mum and dad's today with SIL as his dad is not well. I am glad to see the back of him. I told him to stay until Monday morning and just go straight to work so DS and I could have some nice time to ourselves without him around being horrible. He looked upset and I was glad.

Ds and I have been out for a walk to the lighthouse and then came back to the village and had tea in a tea shop. He had cheese on toast and jelly and ice cream and I had a large cream cake.

We are going to have a nice quiet night together- have a play and a bath.

Oh no lulu, hope it blows over for you quickly. Sounds like you have had a lovely day with ds though. Might be a stupid question but, is there a beach near you?

I don't know really. The past few weeks have been constant biccering and generally not a nice atmosphere. Tbh I think I just don't love him at all any more we don't have sex anymore at all either, we hardly speak or spend any time together. I really beleive he is only staying because he wants the house, if we split up he would loose quite a bit of money on it. It was our anniversary the other week and I just thought I cannot imagine spending another year like this, the thought of it made me depressed.

Yes, we can walk to beaches Ducky. It is so cold up here though that we never sit on them! But they make for nice walks. Northumberland has beautiful beaches, probably a hundred miles of them and hardly anyone comes here.

DH has been so short and short-tempered and snappy. He has been inconsiderate too and then wants us to be affectionate and I am just not putting up with it. He can fuck off with that, expecting cuddles and sex. It is like treading on egg shells around him this week and I don't deserve it. He has texted twice and rang once today but I am really annoyed with him and don't want to engage with it. He needs to sort himself out. I am not unsympathetic to how hard he is working but I am not having his stress deflected onto me. He got really annoyed when DS was crying the other night. ' Oh FFS this is impossible. I am trying to concentrate Lu. Can you not shut him up?' was what he shouted and it was a really nasty angry shout. You can imagine my response. I was so pissed off with him.

I know he isn't like this usually but DH can be an awkward bugger if he thinks he might get away with it and he is not starting that with me.

I also know he will be upset with himself but I am not allowing him to make me feel sorry for him with that either. He needs to get it right not look pathetic.

If you have got to the point where you don't love him at all, it is hard to see a way back Ducky but it's sad. Where will you and DS go? What will happen to the dogs?

What an awful thing for him to shout I bet he will be back with his tail imbetween his legs very soon. Not fair at all to take out his stress on you and ds.

I'm trying to sort somewhere to go at the moment. Db is looking for somewhere to move in jan/feb. I am hoping he sorts that asap and ds and I can hide there until we get something sorted.

We only have two dogs now, one is h's, one is mine so I shall take mine and h will have his.

Occasionally he has been nice again and I think 'what am I thinking, I can't do that to him' but then eventaually he goes back to being miserable. I think we are both unhappy, he just won't admit it. Knowing his family though I can see it getting very messy I would love it if we could just stay friends for ds sake but I can't see that happening.

Sounds like it is going to be a hard time Ducky but you know how bad it is and you should not stay if you really think it is irreparable.

DH has rang and texted again. I texted back and just said, 'We are fine. Hope your dad is feeling better' and left it at that. Have turned my phone off. I can't be bothered.

DS has just gone to bed. He has played all evening with his blocks and shapes, had his milk and a cuddle and has gone to bed quite happily.He has been such a good boy all day.

It's nothing serious with his dad is it?

I wish I could be like that, sometimes I just feel so, I don't know how to explain, small maybe? Like I can't stand up to him.

FIL has an ongoing disease that flares up and causes problems and then settles down again. It is quite debilitating when it happens and it can be stress related. Probably to do with grandma dying.

I think it's really easy to lose your confidence in a relationship where your self-esteem is eroded away little by little because you are not treated well. You just get used to accepting ess and less.

I will never do it again and DH knows that. He'll email me later on. I know he will.

I have completely and utterly lost my confidence lulu. Now I'm wavering as I have family texting me telling me not to go

Why are they telling you not to if they know how bad it is? Do they think it could work?

I have no idea, I told them a lot, not all but a lot. They seem to agree it awful, but say I should stay

Ducky as I always say, u sound like my twin!
If u don't love H then there's rele no reason to stay. Being miserable and sad and lacking confidence for the rest of ur life is not the one :(
Since being on my own my confidence has grew so so Much! I'm happy and have my children :) best decision ever. I know id be so depressed if I was still with H.
U need to do what's right for u. U need to be happy. Just remember u always come first, if u take care of urself then ur able to take care of DS and he'll be happier because ur happier.
Here to talk If u need it

Oh Lulu not ur DH too
Do u think it's their time of the month?

It was my moms party last night for her 40th. DS loved it and was dancing on the dance floor DS2 slept the whole time, woke for a feed but went straight back to sleep.

I'm exhausted from it tho, my scar started to ache and so I didn't sleep well last night because of it.
Got our last midwife visit today to weigh ds2 to see if he's back to his birth weight. I hope he is.

You sound like you are doing really well Cupcake. Is your mum only 40? I am 36! Did DS2 wear himself out dancing? I expect you have overdone it a bit and that is why your muscles are sore.

DH emailed me last night because my phone was turned off. It is a very astute email full of insight into himself and his behaviour this week, very honest and with lots of love all the way through it for me and DS and apologies. I believe all of it but words are cheap and his behaviour had better be different from now on. I am not having another week like last week. I know DH very well and know how upset and angry he is with himself that he has done this to me and DS and how genuinely bad he will feel. Well then he had better stop doing it and put it right.

He asked could he come home this afternoon and I said yes because otherwise he will have to leave Yorkshire at 4.30 am in the morning which is hardly going to help his tiredness.

This has put me right off having another baby at the moment.

Only you know how bad it is Ducky. You should do the right thing for you and DS. It is not your family's business. They don't know what it is like in your marriage.

Sorry you're going through a rough patch ducky. Always do what's right for you. Lots of people will have different advice for you but at the end of the day only you know what makes you happy. Think of yourself in the future and does that bright happy future include your dh? A child will know if you are unhappy and your ds will sense if you are sad so do what's right for you and don't let his horrid family be nasty to you x
It's a hard decision but one way or the other you can move on with whatever you decide. You only get one chance at this life so don't let others ruin the little time you have on this earth x

Thank you it's good having somewhere to vent

Cupcake your moms only 40!? Hope she had a nice time, the pains were probably just you over doing it sounds like the ds's had a good time.

Lulu I'm glad your dh has seen the error of his ways. I really hope he sorts it out and is on his best behaviour for you from now on.

Thanks sunny, if I picture the future with h, i feel miserable I know it will be really tough to start with but I know I can be happy again. I'm 25 for god sake I can't give up on sex just yet the only thing I worry about is ds as his family are very spiteful and very very wealthy, what if they decide to try and get custody of him, that would destroy me. And I don't know how I'll handle access. H can barely look after ds alone for 5 mins while I'm in the house.

DH is back and we have put things right. He knows I will call him every single time he does it - if it happens again. He looks exhausted. He and DS are both asleep. DS was so pleased to see him and I could see DH choked up and tearful as he cuddled him.

He brought me some flowers and DS a little furry monkey.

He has just got work out of all proportion. We have agreed he won't leave here before 7.30am any morning so he gets a bit more sleep, and if there is no meeting he will leave work at 5pm at the latest, so at least he is here- even if he has got stuff to do. It stops at 9pm as well and there is no work on Friday nights or Saturdays.

Glad you have patched things up lulu. Sounds like a good idea making rules about work hours. I really had no idea teachers worked that much

Haha yes my mom is only 40
She was very very young when she had me 16 years old she was.

Ducky he wouldn't get custody and I very much doubt he'd even try to go for full custody.
My exH hasn't even mentioned custody.
But he used to tell me if we ever split he'd take me to court over DS. And he hasn't.
Honestly a court would never take a child from its mother unless the child was in danger. So u rele don't need to worry about that ducky :)

I know why I had pain in my scar..... It's infected on the right side :( right where they took out my beaded stitch.
I have the midwife tomorrow and the health visitor. So I'll get the midwife to look at it but I think the doctor is the only one that can prescribe antibiotics :s

Lulu Glad u and DH have made up. Sounds like a good idea to limit work. It can be stressful for the whole family can't it glad things are okay tho Lulu :)