Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Congrats sesame, and good luck for tomorrow. So pleased it fertilised! And you've clearly discovered the positive to just one egg - recovery from EC sounds a lot quicker, which is great news for your transfer tomorrow.

barking I hated the scratch/biopsy, and have had two horrible through-the-cervix experiences and 3 that have been fine. I therefore reckon it's all about the angle they get you at, and whether your body goes into spasm.

Sesame woohoo another hurdle down! Very pleased for you I'll keep the pompoms going for transfer tomorrow, one step closer though. Being off work this weekend will help! Doing more house renos this weekend. I'm feeling really anxious about the Prague consultation as well but I have no idea why.

seasame great news that everything seems to be going well and pom poms for tomorrow.

Great news sesame. Keeping everything crossed for the call tomorrow and beyond!

beaky to you. Hope you have a nice weekend and get to chill out a bit. Hope the house stuff is going well.

Am at the ivf information session at UCLH. Have sat through the pointless bit about what ivf is (much better info from this forum!) but it was interesting to learn that they use northisterone from day 14 and during the 2ww they prescribe fragmin, oestrogen and progesterone and also asprin. DR drugs and stims weren't mentioned - presumably as these are protocol dependent. My last clinic was much more basic - same LP for everyone.

Yay sesame glad you have a good embryo there. Hope it all goes ok tomorrow!

Ohhh beaky when is your consultation with gennet?

What are people's views on taking bcp and buserelin in cycle before treatment? Like a long protocol. Were you over suppressed?

Thanks Tiger. Your info session sounds quite interesting, what's the reason they give everyone fragmin and oestrogen in the 2ww? Did they give you any idea when you could start the actual cycle? How's the wedding planning going? Did you get The Dress yet?

Lucie its in November, not too far off but I haven't been able to get all of the tests yet. I down regged with buserelin in my lp cycle, I think I was probably over suppressed but in any event my clinic don't recommend lp for very low or/dor. I have had the pill prior to both my sp cycles and it didn't seem to oversupress me last time, having said that who really knows in this game.

I feel so angry at the moment. I hate saying that but it's a general rahhh type feeling (iykwim). Someone shouted at me today and to be frank they were lucky they didn't get a quick slap to the face

They didn't say specifically beaky but it's a lot more support during the 2ww than previously....makes me wonder if the last embie would have stuck around with a bit more help . No clear indication of start date but average wait is 7 months from first appt - so February or March possibly. I'm so fucked off, but praying it will be sooner. Have a follow up on 19 Nov and really hoping I can agree the protocol then and get started. Wedding is booked for 9 April and I was really hoping to be done by then. It will be almost a year between cycles despite going back to the GP a month after my chemical pg. I am struggling with it all.

I get what you mean about having the rage - it feels like a never ending battle sometimes. Hate this shit.

On a more positive note, wedding planning going well. Very undecided about the dress though!

Aw Tiger that's shit, and another very long wait. I really hope you don't have to wait that long. I'm not surprised you are struggling with it all, its so shit, and you have already been waiting for ages. Hugs for the wondering and what ifs, I reckon its unavoidable to think this way.

How come you're undecided about the dress? Did you see another one you liked or is it between a couple from the site you shared earlier. They were all lovely so I can see why you would struggle. Glad to hear the rest of the plans are going well! Will you be having a lovely honeymoon too?

Hmm just had a google of fragmin and came across a study which seems to show that fragmin can help even if you're not diagnosed with thrombophilia, but also if you've had recurrent failed cycles/implantation. It was a smallish increase in bfp rates but an increase anyway. Resident Dr Nolly may be able to assist here or sesame? Ill try and post the link.

fragmin

Happy I used to throw the pens in the bin. It is not a sharp and it was empty so no concerns there.

Tiger That is crap. Go look at bad wedding dresses online to make yourself feel better. People of Walmart is always a pick me up.

Beaky That's interesting. Im at the point that Ill try anything. Fragmin hey....

Sesame how did it all go?

Tried to post twice in the last couple of days and both times the website timed out and deleted my post .

happy Happy half term!!!!!
I put the pens in the bin, and I took 4 boxes of spare needles to the clinic on Thursday, hoping they would take them off me. They wouldn't. They sent me to the pharmacy. The pharmacy sent me to the doctors' surgery. They wanted proof I was a patient before they would take them off me.

sesame great news . Hope everything goes well with ET.

beaky I hadn't had the scratch before but I had a biopsy, which was excruiating and I said I'd never go through it again .
I'm tired, run down and grumpy at the moment. DH and I (who very rarely argue) just exchanged cross words while packing to go on holiday. Had to really bite my tongue not to lay into him or burst into tears after his comment "well this is going to be a great holiday".
Fragmin is sometimes prescribed for recurrent miscarriage, but not until a location scan has been done at around 6 weeks.

tiger is this a private clinic? Or have you switched NHS ones? Sorry can't remember - did you sign up in a different area? I've never had to attend an ivf info session, either NHS or private. Waiting stinks. DH was moaning last night that our lives have been on hold for too long now. We wanted to book festival tickets but if the IVF works I'll be giving birth around those dates - so yet again it's a case of 'just wait and see if it works first' before we do anything. Almost 5 bloody years of having our lives run and controlled by this shit.
I did enjoy wedding planning to take my mind off it all though .

Okay, got to finish packing, it's time for HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!

Sesame any news? Keeping everything crossed.

Barking woooooo holidays! Have a fab time and enjoy some lovely warm sun. Sorry you're still having a shit time generally. I think we do end up run down and exhausted, how could we not after years of this shit.

Grin when are you back at the clinic?

Just back from the fc and I've got one top grade sesame seed on board. Phew!

smidge hiya! When do you start your treatment?

clem any progress with investigating 'going abroad'?

grin where are you up to at the moment treatment wise?

tiger I'm also interested to know why they prescribe all those extra meds for the 2ww. And now I'm in mine, I'm wondering if I'm missing out.... Sorry your fc are dragging things out , fx you can get the timing to work for you.

lucie I was also over surpressed by buserelin on LP. I've never taken it in combination with bcp.

barking have a fantastic holiday! I'm sure you will feel a lot better once you are away. Where are you going again? I say book the festival tickets anyway, that way you can invoke law of sod (but hope you don't give birth in a muddy field.... )

beaky sorry you are feeling 'raaaaghh!' Let it all out! Hope the helps. That doesn't sound much like a weekend off, but hope the renovations are going ok? When are you planning move in? I was also nervous when I changed clinics and had my first appointment. There's so much riding on it I think it's natural.

That paper you linked to - even though the results appear to be promising, they didn't find a 'significant' difference - which unfortunately means you can't read anything into the results as they could be down to random chance alone. I'm not really very knowledgeable about implantation support I'm afraid. My biggest problem for now appears to be getting eggs out so that's what I've been focusing on.

I think that this has been asked before, but I'm wondering when to stop the dhea (and the other supplements). Should I stop taking now I'm pupo, or can I take up until I get the test results? As fond as I am of the spotty teen skin (not), I'm just a bit worried to stop for 2 weeks if my body is still recruiting eggs that could develop in a future cycle.

Waaaaaa Sesame pupo with a top class sesame seed congrats on getting this far lady. Absolutely everything crossed for you! Re the dhea I always stop it at egg transfer and then I've picked it back up after my test date. I still took pregnacare, reduced coq10 and vit d then stepped everything back up and included 100 new ones

Sesame Beaky First good work on the PUPO Sesame.
Just a quick update as I should be studying. I had my blood test on Friday so the clinic should have the results on Monday hopefully. If all goes to plan then I start the cycle early November for a egg collection on the 20th. I have all my drugs in the fridge ready to go.

The only annoying thing is that I will now be at home not in the city where the clinic is so I have to pay for my ultrasounds at a different place rather then the fertilit clinic where I have paid for them already (no refund). I also have to drive 45 minutes to get my blood tests taken (no where does them near me) and I have to be there by 7:30am so they can be on the 8:30am flight to Brisbane so the clinic can get the results the same day.
This delay due to the blood tests/chest infection drama has cost me:
Flights - $600
Ultrasounds - $250
Time off work (unpaid leave) - $500
Petrol - $50
On top of what I have paid to the clinic.
Oh and I dont need the pessaries since I have not used the ones from the previous cycle but they still charge me for them.
I swear it is nothing but an unregulated money making scheme.
License to print money.

Great news sesame! I will be madly pompomming away for you.

The fc didn't really explain why they used those added the additional drugs, I presume they'll explain more at my next appointment, but I might add asprin to my 2ww in the meantime and see what happens.

That's expensive grin. Ouch.

Not much to report here. Quiet weekend hiding from the world!

Evening Ladybros. Quiet in here today. Hope everyone is well.
Congrats on being PUPO Sesame. Everything crossed for you.
Barking have a fantastic time in Morocco. Sun and R&R right now sound amazing. I'm very .
Tiger and Grin I'm glad to hear things are moving for you. Tiger I took Norithisterone from cd21 on both of my previous cycles though I suspect this was simply to control my start date rather than for any medical reason. Grin how shocking that you are being charged for meds you don't even need. Surely that's not allowed?!? I feel a Berry protest coming on. Now where did we put those placards.....
Thanks for the advice on the disposal of the pens ladies. I'll ask the FC what to do. It does say on the leaflet not to bin them but as Grin said there's no sharps or drugs left in them so can't see why not. I think I must have binned my Ovitrelle pens in the past without giving it a second thought.
First scan tomorrow ladies so all appendages crossed please. I'm guessing if there's no response this time then it's game over for us - at least as far as my own shitty eggs are concerned

Fingers and everything else crossed for you Happy I hope you get a good result this time round. What cd is this? Hope you have lots planned for half term and to help distract you.

Tiger when did you say your next appointment was? I hope you get your round in soon. I don't think it can hurt to take the aspirin in your 2ww and see what happens. Any more thoughts on The Dress? How's work going, any better?

Smidge how are you doing? How long til you can get going on your next round again?

Sesame how are you feeling? When is otd?

Good luck for tomorrow happy, will be thinking of you.

beaky I'm having the 3d sis and dummy ET a week on Tues then follow up on 19 Nov but they made it clear I won't be starting until Jan earliest. still not sure about the dress....love the vintage lace ones best but going to try on some very different ones to make sure!

Just popping on quickly to wish happy good luck for your scan tomorrow! Everything is crossed - come on follies!

Good luck happy, really hope your scan goes well for you today. Will be checking in waiting for the news.

Thanks for the well wishes Ladybros. Better news this time around. 4 follies over 10mm and a couple under 10. Not the greatest response but at least something's happening and I've only done 5 days of jabs so there's still time. Had to ask the nurse if I needed to start the Cetrotide today though, to which she replied "oh yeah sorry I thought you were on Buserelin". It's a good job one of us is a seasoned Berry pro!

Happy hooray, that's fab news! Fingers crossed for you. When's the next scan?

Berries, I need a wang/some berry wise words. I feel so shit at the minute, I think it's a combination of everything that's going on as well as the IVF. There's a lot of family shit going on and I'm finding I'm getting really stressed and pissed off with everyone including dh. Fb is like the devil and the smugness of some parents on there is killing me. Plus the pg staff member is giving me daily updates of her pg I am so so worried that my next round won't work (poor response/ no implantation/ what RW said about your chances are higher if you've been pg before etc) and I am skint so will end up in debt to carry on with this. Usually I get this down for a few days and manage to shake it off but at the moment I can't get away from it. Dh is stressed too and it's definitely taking its toll on us. I feel like fucking everything off and running away. So sorry to whinge, I know things could be a lot worse.

Aw beaky my love. It is so tough, it's not surprising you are feeling down. Big hugs and to you. I don't really have any wise words to offer, but just to let you know that I'm thinking of you. I was so low post my last ivf - took a couple of months to find any joy in life whatsoever and our relationship was pretty miserable. The hard part of this shite is, until it happens there is always the fear that it won't - sometimes in the background and sometimes looming large. No escape from it though, and raw grief that it brings with it.

On the positive side, you've had some extra tests that might help and another funded cycle to kick off in Jan. All adding to the chances of sucess bit by bit. One step at a time. .

It's not whinging at all by the way. We are here for all the miserable times as well as hopefully celebrating the successes. You've helped me loads at some of my worst points ever, and everyone else too!

That sounds much more promising happy and good job someone knows what's going on!

Urgh Monday. Need to collect DPs SA form
From the FC but don't really have time....argh!

happy yay, that sounds like pretty good scan news. Wishing you some good follie growth for your next scan. Go follies! When are you back in?

tiger sorry you have to wait till Jan now, despite all your amazing chasing efforts . Glad the dress and the wedding planning are going well. Lace vintage sounds lush! You will be one stylish berry bride!

grin I am so annoyed on your behalf! I can’t believe they make you purchase drugs that you don’t need! And it’s terrible to have to deal with all these extra costs when you’re already forking out. All my appendages are crossed that you finally get the go ahead on Friday to start your cycle.

beaky, aw, I’m so sorry that you are going through all of this. It is totally shit what you have to deal with, no wonder you feel shit because of it. It’s just amazing that you’ve managed to hold yourself together for so long. Take as much time as you need under that duvet of despair, until you are ready to come out the other side. It will get better over time, and you will come up with a new plan, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now. My lowest points were my failing pg/mc, and 3m later waking up after EC when they didn’t get any eggs – but I have moved on and I’ve managed to cope a lot better since then. You said before that you’ve been very private about things, but is there anyone else in RL that you could confide in? It might really help to talk to someone other than your dh about what you’re going through. Or can you ask to speak to the counsellor in your fc? It’s something that really helped me before. We are all here for you too, so please whinge as much as you need too

OTD is 6 November. I’m ok at the moment. I walked 5k yesterday, instead of doing my weekend run. I also stopped the DHEA, but I’m still taking everything else. I’m really hoping my embie is still alive and and I'm imagining it’s dividing away, currently at the day 4 ‘morulla’ stage I haven’t decorated my womb room though . I really really want this to work.