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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Over 40s TTC & success stories.

999 replies

Grizzer · 18/07/2015 22:20

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
ChewyGiraffe · 06/12/2015 07:51

Notsoold - sorry I missed your last post - yay for 15 weeks! When pg with DD I did pregnancy anxiety with knobs on, so I'm hardly in a position to talk, but hope those fears are giving way to a realisation that you've done the tricky part and you're heading for the home straight now Grin

ChewyGiraffe · 06/12/2015 07:56

Hmm - nearly 8am - too early for a bourbon? And I'm not talking biscuits!
Oh boll*cks to TTC failure Sad

jassS · 06/12/2015 16:44

Do not go indoors, Chewy, dress warm and go to park. It helps with sad mood....
Just back from playong petanque with the 6yo in park for 2 hours. Frozen now:-) But in great mood

ababsurdum · 06/12/2015 21:23

Sorry Chewy this is a bit late but I think 8am might be a bit early! Still it's 5pm somewhere as they say... Wink

Seriously, sorry you're feeling down. Bless your dd, they get to us so easily don't they. We just want to make them happy. This may not be your month but try and stay positive, there's still a chance for you. In the meantime there's Cake and Wine and Christmas of course.

notsoold congratulations for getting to 15 weeks Smile. Try not to let the fear take over. All you can do is take it one day at a time.

Bleeding has lessened to a bit of spotting today but it's done that before. No clue as to when my actual period is going to come now or when we will be ttc (assuming nothing bad is found on the scan).

SlinkiMalinky · 08/12/2015 09:00

Just had some spotting. Had got hopeful as just got 3+ on the digi stick which I never got to last time. Should be 5+3 today. Got really busy week so I guess I'll just get my head down and try not to think too much.
Sorry but i've still not really caught up on this whole thread but was sorry to here the sad news from twinkly and ababs. It can be so cruel sometimes.

Would love to hear some good news soon so good luck with the impending births and the lovely sticky beans. Xxx

ababsurdum · 08/12/2015 19:56

Oh Slinki, hopefully it's nothing to worry about. Try not to think the worst - tough I know. Big hugs to you.

Tidesout · 08/12/2015 21:01

Hi all. Just a quick update. Still trying - must be 10 months now. After having a Day 21 blood test back in June indicating I was ovulating thought I'd go back to gp yesterday. I went about something else really and came away a bit confused. Back in June my gp said there was nothing wrong with ttc and was quite positive.

Yesterday she must have forgotten that we were ttc and mentioned having the mirena coil contraceptive till I reminded her I was ttc. Seems as I ovulated in June doesn't appear to be any further blood tests necessary. I did ask how partner could get his sperm checked and came away with a form to contact the hospital so that's something!!! Looks like I keep trying until I give up as don't have option for ivf due to previous children and age and lack of money to go private.

ababsurdum · 08/12/2015 21:16

Remind me how old you are Tidesout. Are you using opk's etc? Does your partner have children already? A private semen analysis is about £100.

At 40 it took me 14 months to conceive, I had not a sniff of anything before despite using a clear blue fertility monitor and additional opk's (though I still think they're important). We did have an unsuccessful round of IVF the month before I conceived but it's impossible to know if that had any effect or if it was just our month.

Tidesout · 09/12/2015 04:10

I'm 42 and have older children. My partner is 47 and has 2 children (older as well). I am using cheap opks and I seem to ovulate each month according to these!!! We'll keep trying though, I think I'm more keen than partner who thinks perhaps we're too old and lucky to have children already which of course we are. Things were tough when I had my children bringing them up as a single parent so feel I was always struggling and am keen to have just one more with partner in tow this time!!!

little02pots · 09/12/2015 04:56

I am 41 yrs old and my partner is 42 were are also ttc for some months now. We already have 2 boys. After 10 years we decided to try again. Never had a MC. Using opk got a smily but menstruation still showed up. Decided the following month not to use opk go naturally Menstr. still showed up. Beginning to wonder if there is any hope for us. Maybe I should go see my GP.
But after reading all the positive threads I decided to hold on a bit longer.

This thread sure helps, when feeling down.

Thanks everyone and good luck

ababsurdum · 09/12/2015 08:15

I was ovulating too so far as I could tell, +ve opk plus often ov pains. Plus I temped for a few months. I expect that at our age not enough of the eggs are good enough quality so despite everything seeming to be right you don't conceive and if you do you can still have chromosomal abnormalities resulting in a mc. Hopefully one month you're lucky and catch a good egg. I was lucky enough to at 41.

Likely your dp's sperm are OK unless his lifestyle has deteriorated. The it starts with the egg book does say that sperm too have chromosomal issues as the man gets older. My dh is taking a conception multi vit and coq10 daily without fuss which is great.

Welcome little, how long have you been trying?

BalaBot · 09/12/2015 10:12

Hello, can I join? Have been lurking for a bit but time to jump in and ask for some advice.

TTC #2 at almost 42 and been trying for almost a year. DS conceived in first cycle 4 years ago although does have genetic condition and is globally delayed. Obviously this time around much more loaded, we really struggled to come to terms with having a child with a disability let alone the new parents / no sleep etc. so finally in a place where we would love nothing more than to add to our family and it's not happening.

Been using clear blue digital last couple of months which suggested ovulated this months but blood tests (day 3/day 20) have suggested I didn't.

Gutted! Have really regular periods although can be quite light some months. Booked an opening evening at a fertility clinic as prob need to get some further tests but anyone experience of OPK suggesting one thing and blood tests another? Should I just dump the OPK and have regular sex between day 6-20?

Hit a bit of a wall so need to start doing my research I think, thanks all xx

little02pots · 09/12/2015 11:30

Thank you Ababsurdum. We have been trying from since this summer.

little02pots · 09/12/2015 11:47

Welcome BalaBot,

Last month I decided to try without using the OPK.My cycle is 28 days so between 8 and 15 we tried the natural way but my period showed up this month. So I guess I will continue using the OPK. Eventhough 2 months ago I used it and got my smily but still my period showed up. So now I am really confused.

Longing to hear others experience.

Good luck everyone

ababsurdum · 09/12/2015 12:12

Little unfortunately ovulation is no guarantee of conception or pregnancy, especially in your 40's. You just have to keep trying. The best rule of thumb I read was to dtd whenever you have lots of ewcm (fertile cm) as that is when you are most fertile and the cm protects the sperm. I read this in take charge of your fertility.

BalaBot, welcome. I'm sorry you had such a rough time as a new parent. As far as I know you don't ovulate every month so it could be you were unlucky in the month your tests were done. Others on this thread have been told their body gears up for ovulation (hence +ve opk) but then doesn't. I don't know why this can happen. Temping is good to show if you have ovulated so maybe try that? It doesn't predict ovulation though so you'd still need an opk for that.

BalaBot · 10/12/2015 09:14

Thanks abab and little for the welcome and suggestions.

Going to have a look into temping and also going to get an AMH test done, DH and I both feel a bit knocked for 6 especially as one GP told me a few months ago that biggest indicator of fertility is regular periods.

Who knows, sadly it's not an exact science

ababsurdum · 12/12/2015 19:40

It's quiet out there! How's everyone doing?

I'm on day 26 here so ordinarily AF would be showing up tomorrow. Not sure what's going on though given the breakthrough bleeding. Scan is on Wednesday, hopefully I'll get the all clear then.

ChewyGiraffe · 13/12/2015 01:38

Hiya all – AF turned up last Monday as predicted and I’m finally out of my sulk now, although I’ve been finding myself generally feeling (quite weirdly) over-emotional about anything and everything.

Jass - yes I agree about the benefits of getting outside in the fresh air to lift one’s mood, but unfortunately I’m a total baby about being out in the rain, which is pretty much all that’s been on offer round our way lately. I’m sure I vaguely recall reading somewhere that we’re supposed to get at least 30 minutes outside exercise / good quality light in order to maintain melatonin levels, for hormone regulation, ovulation etc. Does that sound about right? Definitely don’t manage it though!
Hope you're doing OK? And are you still TTC, or NTNP?

Ababs - it took a bit of strength temporarily, but I did get through AF without getting smashed – in fact, without any alcohol at all. Although not that it was actually a big deal; I’ve been pretty much teetotal for about 3 years now: pregnant, then breastfeeding, then TTC - but I just didn’t plan on TTC for this bloody long!

You mentioned you might expect AF to show up tomorrow – does that mean the breakthrough bleeding has stopped now? Hope so? All the best for your scan on Wednesday – FX for confirmation that everything’s fine and you can start TTC again with renewed positivity.

Tidesout - you did well with your GP and the sperm analysis form! My GP has been happy to run some basic bloods (just day3/21) for me, but DP’s GP was a bit shirty about him asking for an SA on the NHS. In the end he self-referred to the Andrology/Fertility clinic at our nearest (and excellent) NHS hospital, but as a private patient and it cost him £62 + VAT. He had the results made into a T-shirt with “so it’s not me then” printed underneath. Not really (obvs) but he can be a smug b*stard about it (as he eats his takeaway pizza with me scowling at him ...)

Slinky - hope all is well with you? I had some bleeding (in fact quite a lot of bleeding – it’s a long story) when I was pregnant with DD. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you everything’s fine.

Hi little02pots - I know it’s tough when you think you’ve got your timing just right as per your OPK smiley faces or whatever and then the witch turns up – arrgh! You’ve just got to keep going, right?

BalaBot - I’m sorry you’ve had some challenges with your first child, but it’s good to hear that you all seem to be on a good track now and in a position to add to your family.
As regards OPK saying you ovulate, but blood tests not: as Ababs said, you can’t write yourself off on the basis of one month (it could easily have been an ‘off’ month) so could you ask GP to repeat the tests for you? I think the day 21 test is done then on the assumption that it will be roughly 7 days after ovulation (and peak progesterone). So if you ovulate either earlier or later than day 14 the test could miss picking it up entirely.
I’ve heard that thing too that a strong indicator of fertility is regular periods – in fact an esteemed recurrent miscarriage consultant told me that if your cycle was regular it was almost certain (i.e. for the majority of women) that it means you would be ovulating. So the fact that you say you have regular periods is a good sign isn’t it? I don’t think the fact that they’re occasionally light means very much. My periods have been quite light ever since I had DD and sometimes worryingly so. I mentioned this to a gynaecologist I had to see and he didn't seem in the least bothered by it and said it was ‘normal cycle variability’. Plus I’ve had mid-cycle lining thickness (amongst other things) measured on ultrasound scans and apparently it’s been fine.

I'd love to ask people what they're doing about caffeine - any thoughts on how much daily / giving up altogether? By any measure, I know I have way too much.

Also - what about alcohol? I'm thinking about for DP really. Its getting towards our last month of trying (probably) and this cycle's 'fertile window' falls bang in the middle of his Christmas party season. Any theories on how alcohol affects sperm quality?

Anyway it’s late and I’m going to see Santa Claus in the morning – well my 2 year old DD is – and we all know what I want for Christmas – same as everyone else on here I reckon!

ChewyGiraffe · 13/12/2015 16:53

I thought this was a cheery little story, so thought I'd share it:
Telegraph.co.uk_First-baby-at-46

ababsurdum · 13/12/2015 17:02

Thanks Chewy, it was both cheery and a bit sad with her worry and self consciousness at being an older mum. I guess many of us have those same worries, I try to keep a lid on mine but they are there nonetheless.

I'm sorry AF turned up for you. I'll reply later properly as I'm just cooking dinner. How was Santa?

ababsurdum · 13/12/2015 20:15

Chewy the spotting hasn't really stopped it's still there on and off, very light now and brownish. Still no other symptoms of anything untoward though. I can't wait for the scan so I can see what's going on.

Like you I've been pretty much teetotal for the last 4 years, ttc-pregnant-breastfeeding. I'm having the odd one now but trying to not get into a habit of drinking regularly. Same with caffeine really I suppose. I mostly have decaf but have started having the odd proper coffee. Everything in moderation and all that Xmas Wink

As far as your dp goes it's a tough one. Ideally you'd want him drinking as little as possible but that's perhaps not realistic given the time of year? Hopefully he can keep it sensible if this is your last few months trying.

Slinki I hope everything is ok with you.

Big waves to everyone else.

ChewyGiraffe · 13/12/2015 22:57

Ababs - you've guilt tripped me! I definitely need to get back on the decaf. I don't drink much coffee but I do love builders' tea!

Yes the 'fertile' window couldn't have fallen on worse dates really. DP reckons he can skip the alchohol at one or other of his Xmas parties, but I seriously doubt it. I don't know if its quite form to refer to other MN threads, but I saw this one in 'active' and was a bit Shock/Grin. My-husbands-just-pissed-over-my-best-shoes. Hopefully it won't be quite that bad, but I almost wouldn't put it past him.

Santa was fine thanks - good effort for a fiver. Even though DD was a bit scared of this enormous bloke in a fake beard and in response to the question of what she wanted for Christmas, asked for "some sticks please" Confused. She does love sticks though.

ababsurdum · 14/12/2015 08:13

Oh I didn't mean to guilt trip you! I guess I've just got used to decaf so it doesn't bother me any more. I do really enjoy the buzz when I have a regular latte now though Xmas Smile. Back in my days of ttc ds I read how much caffeine is ok and I can't remember what it was.

Hopefully you're dp won't be so drunk as to pee on your shoes Grin. Mine has never done this but a boyfriend at uni did walk naked into my neighbours room after a trip to the loo in the night. I heard him saying 'whose f-ing room in this?' The shame. She was a very prim Christian too Blush

ababsurdum · 14/12/2015 08:14

And bless your dd! Santa has an easy ride this year if it's sticks she wants.

ababsurdum · 14/12/2015 08:23

Arghhh your dp

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