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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Over 40s TTC & success stories.

999 replies

Grizzer · 18/07/2015 22:20

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
jassS · 10/11/2015 14:13

ababsurdum, unfortunately it can be a very dragged-out proçess. can you get a d&c and be done with it all?

Still here, but also bfn 12DPO.

ababsurdum · 10/11/2015 15:13

Sorry for your bfn jassS.

I asked them for a d&c the day after the medical management failed and they said no. If I have retained tissue then they will give me one but it might not be for another couple of weeks yet. It's already 4 weeks today that I found out that I'd had a mmc.

FattyFishwife · 10/11/2015 18:44

oh abab how awful :( big huge loves for you (((abab)))

sorry for your BFN also jass, its pants isnt it...the TWW seems to take about 6 weeks to pass over! hope you get your BFB very soon!

ababsurdum · 11/11/2015 06:12

Thanks Fatty, I'm ok. Have resigned myself to this-is-just-how-it-is. For better or worse the complete debacle of actually clearing out the miscarriage (for lack of a better expression at 6am) has overshadowed the upset at actually having one. The hospital has been quite pants compared to other people's experiences and this is a world renowned hospital. Just shows the effect lack of funds are having.

jassS are you going to keep trying for now?

Lillipuddlian · 12/11/2015 03:29

Grizzer, there is a new blood test, I think nhs just approved. Non invasive, more accurate than amnio without the risk to pregnancy. In Canada is called non invasive prenatal screening. Not sure what it's called in Uk, but I think it's just gone freee on nhs.

Lillipuddlian · 12/11/2015 03:33

Intro: four pregnancies after age 36. No issues, conceived within three cycles. Very anal retentive with ovulation predictor kits, last pregnancy now age 43, I used temperature charting. My eggs have no where to hide. I recommend pinpointing eggs to the highest degree possible!

Currently only 12 weeks and absolutely terrified of miscarriage. Terrified. Never had a loss due to miscarriage or stillbirth and can't imagine how difficult it would be.

Lillipuddlian · 12/11/2015 03:51

thought I would add my early symptoms prior to 4 bfps as a geriatric mum:

  • first pregnancy: clueless (state, not symptom)
  • second: prolonged bleeding 9 dpo. Bled three days. Normal pregnancy!
  • third: strong metallic taste in mouth
  • fourth: regular skipped heart beat with accompanying hard thump. Very scary, weird symptom, since resolved.

With my last pregnancy (42) I very prematurely peed on a stick, it looked unpromising so I threw it in the bin. Retrieved it an hour later out of curiosity and it was positive! Amazed!

All mine conceived naturally within a few cycles, maybe three maximum. I was aged 37, 38, 41 and will be 43 this time around. I found I conceived more quickly with each pregnancy because I didn't waste any effort, learned about the process and focused on ovulation. I could set the clock by my cycles, which are short (26 days) with a luteal phase of 9-10 days. No issues.

I panicked about my fertility through them all (type A ). It is very stress inducing to ttc and my best wishes go out to all.

I don't buy into age related fear mongering around fertility. My family doctor certainly does, so I don't tell her! Straight to midwives!

A great book: the inpatient woman's guide to getting pregnant by Jean Twenge, I believe. Helped me!

Best wishes.

Lillipuddlian · 12/11/2015 04:08

Sorry, in my post above I wrote that I conceived quickly, I did. The first time, however, now that I recall, took almost a year?

The older I got, the quicker they were conceived. Honestly, I didn't understand when I ovulated or the whole timing thing, so we wasted our efforts with the first ttc.

I by no means meant to sound like it is "simple " or guaranteed once you understand ovulation. It's much more complex than that for many, but for some reason I have been lucky with my fertility as an 'advanced maternal age' or geriatric mother.

Anyways, did not want to sound insensitive at all to those ttc. I have faith in post 40 pregnancies!

We were missing our timing but once I figured that out, we were off to the races. I also recommend not waiting for a positive opk... we had best luck doing it in advance of ovulation, not day of.

We are very old and knackered with young children and I was doing a masters, too.... but managed to conceive by doing it just once a month for one pregnancy. I really think timing is imperative and I read loads and was unnaturally obsessed with mucous.

Right, I'm going to shut up now!

FattyFishwife · 12/11/2015 10:23

hi lilli Thanks for the useful info! Hope for us all yet!

ababsurdum · 12/11/2015 14:12

Wow lilli you have been busy over the last few years! Congrats on your pregnancy.

I agree re cervical mucus, I think dtd when you have lots of fertile cervical mucus is the best thing you can do. I use opks to predict ovulation (though didn't need them with the pregnancy I just lost as we conceived immediately) though I usually ovulate on day 15 of a 27 day cycle. I get pain usually too which is helpful. I stopped temping after a few months as it's too faffy and easily thrown off.

Fatty have you caved and tested again or are you holding out until tomorrow? I got some digital conception indicator tests and will use one tomorrow then phone the epu. I think it will still be positive but I hope I'm wrong.

FattyFishwife · 12/11/2015 18:58

hahaha abab you know me so well....yep...caved today and did a frer, and 3 internet cheapies...all BFN's :(

FattyFishwife · 12/11/2015 18:59

AF due sunday.... trying to think of waiting till sunday to test again...but we all know that aint gonna happen!!

ababsurdum · 12/11/2015 20:31

Oh Fatty it's crap isn't it. Hopefully it's just a slow starter. Have some Cake if you have any (no Wine yet!).

FattyFishwife · 12/11/2015 22:23

but im absolutely not symptom spotting at all...whatsoever...nuh uh...no way....

sore tingly boobs, feeling constantly hungry (where you feel slightly nauseous through hunger), craving cheese and branston wraps, dog tired all the time, needing an afternoon nanna nap

nope..none of that round here..... Hmm

ababsurdum · 13/11/2015 06:17

Well I got a 'not pregnant' this morning which is great news. The irony of wanting a negative pregnancy test! I was sure it wouldn't be, I might need to check the leaflet for the sensitivity...

It's weird to think that the roller coaster of the last few months is over. I'm not sure how I feel about that, I'm sad that it didn't work out this time. I hope we are luckier next time.

Fatty those are all good symptoms Wink

FattyFishwife · 13/11/2015 12:09

when i had my mmc in may, it was hard, as it had taken me 20 months to get that far, to catch even that once....but after a bit i decided to try put a positive slant on it (inasmuch as you can!) and think..well it proves i CAN get pregnant, but also, its one step closer to my BFP!

ababsurdum · 13/11/2015 12:33

That must have been very hard after 20 months, I'm very sorry Fatty.

Yes, I take great comfort in us conceiving easily this time (after 14 months for ds) although I know we are probably not going to be so lucky next time. Hopefully some supplements can help me improve my egg quality for next time round - I can but hope! I've even persuaded dh to take coQ10 this time round along with his wellman pre-conception vitamins Smile

ababsurdum · 13/11/2015 20:32

Gosh I find it really hard watching Children in Need since I became a mother, I keep crying at everything. I also took ds to Sainsbury's today to get the new Mog book. I love the advert Smile

FattyFishwife · 13/11/2015 21:02

I havent seen the ad yet, but ive seen articles saying that it knocks all the other ads into the shade! :)

Im always a bit emosh at children in need at the best of times, but my hormones are all over the joint with the impending arrival of AF, so im only half watching it...ive already had a blub today reading the victim statements and judges closing statement in the Becky Watts case :'(

big hugs for you abab .....just because

ababsurdum · 13/11/2015 21:23

Thanks Fatty, big hugs to you too xx

ababsurdum · 16/11/2015 08:08

Good morning Fatty, how are you? Any good news over the weekend?

TwinklyMusic · 16/11/2015 08:37

Hi guys, hope everyone is well. Sorry I haven't been around for a while. I've been getting my head around life post mc and being back ttc. Most of the time I'm ok now, but little things make me sad. Like yesterday, we passes a maternity shop and I realised that I'd have a bump by now if the pregnancy had continued. But I'm trying to focus on not thinking about it, and focus instead on supplements and motivating myself to get out exercising despite the bad weather (not working so far... Wink).

How are you feeling ababsurdum? It is a relief to get that BFP ironically, isn't it? It does mark an end to it.

Fatty I've had everything crossed for you. It would be lovely to conceive on a romantic night away!

Back on tons of supplements here. I feel like a walking pharmacy. Also in tww.

FattyFishwife · 16/11/2015 09:29

hi ladies, no AF yet, (due yesterday) BUT lots of nasty symptoms...all my usual ones....dull cramps, a particular type of headache in a particular place, that wont go away even with painkillers, weepy etc etc, so Im fully expecting the witch to come later on today.

Temp is still just above coverline tho...but TBH ive resigned myself to bidding you all farewell some time this week.....a coping mechanism i guess, that way when it does happen, i will have been expecting it, and if it doesnt happen, its a bonus.

I am throwing baby dust at you two like mad...and also sprinkling it round the rest of the folks in this thread....someone may as well have some good out of mine :D

Glad you two ladies are finally able to look forward, and get on with the task in hand, and thats making those BFP's

good luck in your TWW twinks lets hope it goes fast for you xxx

ababsurdum · 16/11/2015 12:27

Fatty it's horrible when you get those familiar AF feelings isn't it, particularly when you're late and hope that this is the month. Sending you lots of love. Thanks for keeping me company over the last few weeks, I've really appreciated it. Are you going to try-not-try or totally give up for good?

Twinkly it was indeed a relief and I felt that I can finally move on. I still get nostalgic about how far along I would be and how big my bump would be etc. but I try not to dwell on it like you. I'm actually looking forward to my next period and having a good clear out before we start again. Weirdly I felt like I was getting ovulation pains last week.

Can I ask what supplements you're taking? Apologies if you've already posted this earlier in the thread. Fingers crossed for your tww.

ChewyGiraffe · 16/11/2015 14:38

I’ve enjoyed catching up with everyone’s news. I'll add my update too (unfortunately its nothing exciting, still not pregnant) in a bit.

Ababs - have a Star for battling on – I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough ride lately with your MMC. But yay for the negative test – weird as that sounds. Must be time for your luck to change! I'm interested in supplements too - I feel like I'm really on a final push with TTC now, so I do need to start making some proper effort.

Twinkly - So sorry for the sad-moment-while-shopping Flowers. I'm quite familiar with that scenario, unfortunately - its horrid. I'm also experiencing the not-exercising guilt too. I'd love to know what's in your pharmacy - any magic bullets amongst those supplements?

Fatty - ooh I’m a bit excited now! Hope the headache is nothing and AF stays away. If effort is justly rewarded then it sounds like you deserve to be pregnant with twins!

But if it does turn out that you’re not pregnant, I can’t think it would mean that you necessarily should give up, just because you did everything right in October (and think if that didn’t work, what will...) What if you only ovulate a good egg in say, 9 out of 12 months, and October just wasn’t one of those months?????? On the other hand I think (if I remember correctly) you have a few lovely DC already, so maybe that gives you a different perspective on all this. Only you can weigh it up, obviously. From a totally selfish perspective I’d be sorry to see you go because you make me laugh – with your overactive knife and fork and all that.

Notsoold and Artioo - if you’re still around – hope early pregnancy is going well. Best wishes to you both.

Cloud and Grizzer - again if you’re still around – fantastic to hear you’ve both progressed so well and nearly have new babies now – wow! It’s amazing how time flies once you get it right.

If you’re reading Cloud - I remember you saying that you took DHEA for 3 months before conceiving this pregnancy. I’ve just started taking it myself. At the moment I think I’m going to continue it through the 2ww when we’re trying naturally. Can I ask whether you did the same – i.e. whether you took it when you conceived (and during the 2ww)?

Jass - nice to hear from you. Sorry for the BFN (is it still a BFN?). I hope you marked your baby’s recent due date without too much pain. Also hoping this next won't come out wrong, or appear insensitive, but it struck me that from your perspective it might seem like a long time since you were last pregnant - I just mean because you've been getting pregnant so often? But I was also thinking about when I saw Professor Brosens (the recurrent miscarriage consultant) and what he told me about the theory of a fussy vs not fussy endometrium (I know that you know about that theory). Do you think it might indicate that maybe your endometrium is now becoming suitably fussy, just ready for a sticky bean????

Green - thanks for the reminder of your positive outcome and its so great to hear how much you’re enjoying your baby DS. And thanks for sharing about your friend’s surprise baby at 47 – I do love a good ‘not trying’ anecdote.

You mention a frozen cycle in the New Year – have you decided when it might be yet?

Also, I'd love to hear how you’re getting on trying naturally – as we are the same age Grin. I wondered if having your frostie waiting for when you are ready is taking some of the stress out of TTC naturally? Not that I have the luxury of that position, but I’d certainly be interested to hear any other tips you might have!