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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Over 40s TTC & success stories.

999 replies

Grizzer · 18/07/2015 22:20

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

OP posts:
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FattyFishwife · 07/09/2015 13:08

im still here...feeling a bit despondent today, and wondering just how much longer to give it, before i call it quits.

sighs

Grizzer · 07/09/2015 21:36

I was at exactly that stage when I got my bfp Fatty. I was mentally at the point of acceptance that I wouldn't have any more & was tired of the constant obsessing. Booked a holiday for this October (back in April) & found out I was pg a month later. I would say wait for that point when the thought of giving up doesn't break your heart but it's more a case of 'well, if I can't have a baby I'm going to do this, this & this' and you feel ok about it. If you still feel there is a chance it might happen it's not time to give up.
Hope you feel better tomorrow.
How are you Slinki?

OP posts:
AnnieHoo · 07/09/2015 22:14

Fatty I think I am in exactly the same place as you. The place Grizzler describes sounds very familiar.

cloudjumper · 08/09/2015 13:44

Fatty and annie I've been there, too, trying to figure out if I'm ready to give up ttc... It's tough, so don't put too much pressure on yourself. I don't think it's a decision you can take from one day to the next, it's more a process of weighing things up against each other. For me, I was really getting worried about how I was missing out on just getting on with life and being happy, focussing on what I have, rather than then constant stressing, cycle monitoring and dtd for a purpose instead for fun.
In the end, I gave myself until getting to the 3 year-mark of ttc, at which point I would have sat down with DH to have 'the talk' about it all.
Good luck xxx

FattyFishwife · 09/09/2015 19:13

awww thanks ladies

FattyFishwife · 09/09/2015 19:22

anyways, on a lighter note, i thought you ladies might like to hear about this little exchange I had on a quiz that was posted on facebook.

It was called "could you pass a sex education quiz meant for teenagers", and one of the questions was 'the clitoris can grow...... and the choices were a) 15-16 cms, b) 2cms, c) 6 cm and d) 9-12 cm, with d being cited as the correct answer....i put a tongue in cheek comment under the quiz,

"the clitoris can grow 9-12 cm???? bloody hell.....if thats correct I'll need bigger knickers, SURELY thats GOT to be a mistake????"

and was corrected by a young teenaged girl...this was her comment to me.....
sorry but in childbirth you clitoris will need to grow up to 10cm to actually give birth..thats why they say you need to be 10cm dialated to start pushing...im not even 18 yet and i got that one right

it fair made my eyes water at the thought of birthing a baby from your clitoris!

apparently my exchange has made it onto reddit Shock

Grizzer · 09/09/2015 21:58

OMG! My eyes are watering at the thought of a clitoris being 12cm & watering through crying with laughter at the response! Brilliant.

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TwinklyMusic · 09/09/2015 23:29

Hi everyone. I'm not new, I've name changed. I have posted here on and off for a few years - the last time was a few weeks ago, moaning that we hadn't had a sniff of a BFP in over three years of ttc.

Since then, the good news is that I am over 7 weeks pregnant!

Because of my age (tail end of 44!) and having been through mc in the past, the first at around this time, I am worried about every twinge and symptom (or lack of!). Today I have a lot of cramps - I know it could be anything, but I am naturally going to worry. Everything is crossed it's just constipation (TMI? Grin).

I have also been worried because my pregancy symptoms (particularly the sore breasts and nausea) have not been nearly as bad as for previous successful pregnancies (I have three dc). I brought it up with my GP last week, but she really couldn't give a toss (our local GP clinic is unbelievably crap). I asked if I should get my progesterone levels checked in case they were low, and she told me there was no point because they wouldn't do anything about it anyhow because I had conceived naturally. She said if it had been IVF, then they might put me on progesterone. I pushed, and she said she'd double check with the consultant obstetrician. She phoned me later to say they would not routinely prescribe it, that a GP might decide to, but effectively that she would not.

I was completely Shock at her attitude, and decided to have a think about it before deciding what to do next.

She also suggested that the hospital wouldn't do a booking in visit until around 12 weeks.

Is this right? It's been over 4 years since I was in this position, and I don't remember. But I am reading a lot here about ladies getting a lot of early care and support from GPs and EPUs.

I am sorry this is a bit me, me, me.

I have been really sad reading the posts from Annie and slinki. I have had a mc (just after 7 weeks) and a mcc (13 weeks) and I know what it feels like. It was awful, the pain lasted a long time. I did have a successful pregnancy after each of them, if that helps Flowers.

cloudjumper · 10/09/2015 08:51

Hi twinkly welcome back and congratulations! Your GP sounds very unsupportive, to say the least. Being prescribed progesterone has nothing to do with having conceived naturally or not, they usually prescribe it if you have had recurring miscarriages in the past... Not that this is much help! You could consider getting your progesterone tested naturally, if you are worried about it?

Booking in with the midwife usually occurs around 8 weeks, depending on where you are, could you call your local midwife team directly to find out? Your GP is clearly not willing to help very much! it's just rubbish, the disconnect between antenatal and routine health care... My GP surgery is similar, they just don't want anything to do with you once you are pregnant Angry

BTW, there is a 40+ and pregnant thread, do come and join us if you fancy!

Artioo · 10/09/2015 11:13

Congratulations Twinkly. :)

12 weeks seems far too late for a booking in appointment, as you'll need your first scan booked in at that time too - unless the GP requests the scan appointment separately? It's 8 weeks for booking in here.

TwinklyMusic · 10/09/2015 20:49

Thanks cloud and Artioo! Smile

I did think that things started sooner than that, but it's hard to remember. If I don't hear anything soon, I'll talk to someone without such a chip on their shoulder else at the practice. I really do want my hormone levels checked.

cloud... Like everyone else, I've been looking forward to being on that thread since it was suggested a couple of months back!!! Right now, however, I'm still quite nervous about my pregnancy, and this thread has always been so supportive. If that makes sense...

That's not to say I won't take a hopeful peek! Smile

FattyFishwife · 10/09/2015 21:02

i think that the current trend of thinking in midwifery is...lets not do too much in the first 10 to 14 weeks as a) the baby is really too small, or b) theres the probability of miscarriage.

I remember when i was pregnant with my last in 2009, I was told at my booking appointment at around 9 weeks that we dont bother having a feel or a listen for the babies heart beat until 14 weeks, as if you have a booking appointment before 14 weeks and cant hear a heart beat....and I quote "there isnt anything we can do for you or your baby anyway, so why build false hope in the first place!

I was gobsmacked! talk about being negative, unhelpful and matter of fact.....yes pregnancies maybe ten a penny for middys, but to the mum, they are a very exiting, magical, worrying rollercoaster of a time!

so yep...last time i was preggy, it was a case of booking in at 10/11 weeks then getting your bloods and scan booked for in those 2-3 weeks.

Artioo · 11/09/2015 12:19

So frustrated with OPKing at the moment. I haven't got a positive for the last two months, just nearly positives that don't go properly dark, and the same thing seems to be happening this month. Lines almost as dark as the control but not quite yesterday, and then back to very light lines today. I don't know whether I'm missing the surge (unlikely, I tested twice yesterday), or maybe it'll rise again later, or it means I'm not ovulating.

Should I just assume that as yesterday was almost positive, that that was it? Which would be annoying as we didn't have sex yesterday as I was sticking to the every other day guide. Gah!

This isn't a positive, right?

Over 40s TTC & success stories.
jassS · 11/09/2015 21:25

i have ovulated numerous times with these kind of lines. I know, I have fallen pg (and then mc). Some ppl are able to ov with less-than positive lines.

Artioo · 12/09/2015 00:40

Thanks Jass, that's really good to know.

FattyFishwife · 14/09/2015 23:19

anyone due to test? im just starting my TWW today but we have hardly DTD with one of us being not well or tired at different times during O week!

Artioo · 15/09/2015 13:49

I'm a couple of days into my TWW, will be testing towards the end of next week. I'm not convinced we got the timing right this month. But we did manage to DTD every couple of days over what I think was my fertile period, so maybe...

10000Fireflies · 15/09/2015 13:50

Just dropping in to placemark and promise to be back soon. Hope everyone is bearing up ok?

TwinklyMusic · 16/09/2015 05:04

Just wanted to wish good luck to those in tww.

Past 8 weeks now. Still haven't heard re booking apt, but I've checked and apparently it can be anytime 8-12 weeks. It's a busy London hospital so might be later than sooner.
It still feels a bit unreal.

I'm tired and a teeny bit hugely grumpy, but I still feel the symptoms are not as strong as previous pregnancies. I do have sore breasts (and I must look a sight constantly prodding them to test if I am not sure they are quite achy enough!), but not at the levels I remember (as in 'I will kill you with my bare hands if you even consider being close enough to accidentally bump into these throbbing, heavy torture implements'). I usually get bad enough morning sickness so that I lose weight during my first trimester. I remember throwing up before I even had a BFP. This time, I have bouts of mild nausea, but it passes and I haven't been sick at all.

Still, keeping everything crossed and hoping that it just means this is a considerate, well-behaved little bean! Wink

Good luck to all!

Artioo · 16/09/2015 09:31

That's great Twinkly. If it's any reassurance, my symptoms for my two pregnancies that went to term were completely different. Virtually symptomless for DS1, no nausea at all, then for DS2 awful daily nausea for weeks, so it certainly doesn't have to mean anything.

jassS · 17/09/2015 20:41

Noone of my 4 successful pgs had any symptoms par maybe tiredness, which I did not know was a symptom...

FattyFishwife · 18/09/2015 20:42

my first go at temping seems to be a bit hit and miss....but im persevering!

Artioo · 18/09/2015 22:59

I think I might start temping next month too. Any tips you pick up would be welcome!

jassS · 19/09/2015 19:36

I have drifted out of ttc mindset, it seems. i hardly can bother dtd around the right time, no opks or any other tricks anymore for me. JUst keeping up with folic acid, but feeling I have accepted that my 4 kids will not get a smaller sibling. Enjoying my 6yo, doing lots of sports and generally being happy right now.....Last AF felt like relief - no worrie about mc, no stopping my running, swimming or skating. I am 10 DPO or thereabouts I guess and today bfn felt a relief, too. I am happy that giving up crept up to me just like that. I sometimes look at the ultrasound of my last lost baby, as the due date is coming nearer and nearer. I am terribly sad for this lost child but I have no wish to replace it anymore. I feel relief that I do not have to decide to give up, I just gave up.

FattyFishwife · 19/09/2015 20:53

big loves for you jass im glad that you didnt have a big heartwrenching decision to make, and glad that it has more enveloped you in a big warm hug, as opposed to grabbed you kicking and screaming by the boobs xxx

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