Yo yo!! Calling all Ladybros over 30 TTC #1. Join the Berries aboard the Charabanc of lurrrve. Bring real Champagne, from the actual Champagne region. No Colombian builders allowed.

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy

Current passengers

WildflowerMarmalade 40 - TTC for three years. FET done in June with immune treatments - waiting for result... Six embryos in the freezer after two freeze all cycles.

Minx 35 in August - TTC 2 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF booking in appt in July, hoping to start IVF soon after

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. IVF#1 Short protocol July '14 BFN, IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb '15 both Long protocol BFNs. High NK cell immune treatment. Natural FET in June '15, awaiting result.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles and 1 failed FET. Hoping to start long awaited NHS cycles in late August provided pesky smear test is sorted by then.

Beaky 35, ttc coming up 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1x long protocol ivf cancelled 1 BFN following IVF

Tigerdog, 34 (soon to be 35) TTC since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF#1 May 2015 resulted in a chemical pregnancy. Now transferring clinics in the hope of a second round of IVF on the NHS and considering an NK cells biopsy in July/August.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc 3.5 years. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. Currently awaiting nk cells results before a FET possibly in August/September.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.5 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15. Looking to change clinic and try another natural cycle in June 2015.

Lucieloos, 35, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. 1st ICSI in Czech Republic in April BFN.

Rain, 33 ttc since March 2012. unexplained. mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. NHS IVF starting in June

Sesame I would recommend it, I felt that some of things were they type of things you'd never do, but the supplements it recommends I take (dhea, coq10) and I found it helpful to understand why some things help and why some things don't. I do use things like 0% sanex, paraben free shampoo and 6 free nail varnish from nailsinc (although it was an excuse to shop!) too. I know that all sounds a bit mental but I'm fine with doing it anyway as well as for IVF.

Ah Minx what a thoughtless way of telling you. Another one with a complete lack of understanding/empathy. It's frustrating and annoying that we feel jealous but totally understandable so don't worry. I'm really trying to reign in all of the psycho/jealousy as it seems to have increased in me since the failed IVF. Anyway, and a hug from me. How strange if we were in mustachio towers at the same time!

minx what hideous timing and a complete lack of empathy from your 'friend' .
Don't feel guilty for feelings of , it's perfectly normal.

DH will be home in one week. I will obviously be milking the guilt he feels for leaving me to do this on my own even though it was a joint decision for as long as it lasts

My mates have been amazing this weekend. I've had company at all times I've needed it apart from first thing Saturday morning - but it was probably good to let it all out then anyway.

I was considering having the counselling on offer, but actually I think the benefit of the counselling might be outweighed by the distress caused by going back to that hideous building past the maternity ward and smoking mothers.

sesame I got the forms filled in - by looking back on here, on fb, and looking through letters from the clinic I actually knew all the various doses for each round and most of the test results, and I imagine they'll want to redo the first lot of tests (done in December 2012 sob anyway). I've emailed them all off and asked them to give me an idea of timescale for tests, appointment and getting started. We shall see...

Yo ladybros.

Effing instadiffers minx grrrrr. Doesn't really help when there is no sensitivity. As Mr T said to me a few minutes ago, it can feel like everyone is having a baby except us. Any sign of af?

Love the idea of a mustachioed rendezvous between you and beaky!

Glad to hear af turned up for you rain. Another step closer. Headaches should go when you start stimming I was told. Make sure you are drinking loads as others have said. The G&T sounds well earned to me! Can't see it making naff all difference and if you're more relaxed as a result then I daresay it is beneficial.

Ugh to a pregnant yogi sesame. Not sure about it starts with the egg - the upshot was take dhea and cq-10 so might just make sense to crack on and order those supplements if you don't have much time. I have it but haven't read all of it. On balance I would say it is worth reading.

barking I'm really glad your friends have been looking after you. A week until DH is back isn't too bad, hang in there lady! Waiting to start again is driving me mad, hope you can crack on quickly. I will also probably have to repeat a load of tests etc and I'm just sorting my notes from our original Fc.

I'm with you on feeling a bit more sensitive after failed ivf beaky. It's all so hard.

I've just been to visit dbro and his preggers girlfriend. Baby is due in Dec and whilst I'm of course excited about being an aunty again, I'm also sad for myself. If our ivf had worked we would have had babies 6 weeks or so apart, cousins who could have grown up together. As it is, we're once again watching from the sidelines. Sigh.

Anyway, will restart the health kick once I have my intro appt at the new FC. Going to have the biopsy for NK cells in the meantime, maybe book a week away and then get ready for IVF again in Oct/Nov.

Hope everyone has had nice weekends?

minx, rain yes paracetamol is okay when you are DR, throughout treatment and you can still take it once you are pregnant. My first clinic drummed this into me. And sorry about your instadiff friend minx

beaky yes the old me used to happily coo over babies and take part in all the chit chat – it was the proud auntie in me. I’m so sad these days to be so all the time. By the way, when is it you are starting stims?

barking so glad to hear how supportive your friends have been and that your dh will be back with you soon. Do take up the counselling offer if you can. I have to admit it didn’t feel very good having to walk back into my clinic for these sessions, but I still found it really helped to talk these things through. And fertility counsellors are a very knowledgeable bunch.

tiger it sounds like your plans are starting to come together for a cycle in the autumn. I’m sure you won’t be too far behind your brother and his girlfriend.

Thanks for your advice on “it starts with the egg” beaky and tiger I read about DHEA and CoQ10 before, but I dropped it when my new clinic were anti and I never managed to seek out strong enough arguments. Anyway, despite this I’ve just picked up a big tub of CoQ10 today. It’s probably too late for this try, but it would at least be enough to cover at least till EC. Before I try it though I need to do some more reading to at least make sure it won’t do any harm.

Meanwhile, big deep breath for me. I’m off to the clinic tomorrow for a scratch . I also need to hand over my credit card and order a shed load of drugs. This is really happening. Again.

Hi there, sorry I haven't posted for a little while. This thread moves very quickly I will have a proper catch up tonight but hope everyone is ok.

I started my stimms last week and had my first scan today which is day 7. I was so nervous after my last cancelled cycle that I was almost crying as soon as I walked in the room. She must have thought I was a right nutter! It went ok although I was slightly disappointed as had hope for a few more follicles after taking dhea for a couple of months and also the new flare protocol. The plus point is that my follicles do seem to be growing a lot more evenly now with the change of medication. I would normally have one or two dominant follicles but this time I don't have any. She measured 8 altogether (10,10,10,10, 9, 8, 7, 6) I thinking the 6 and 7 may be too small unless they can stimm me for longer now that they are all a bit more even? I have my next scan on Thursday morning and terrified I will either ovulate early again or they won't grow!

Lucie that's a promising start. Keeping everything crossed for you.
What protocol have they put you on? Will you get Cetrotide or similar?

Sesame How dare she be in the wrong class! I had similar at a pilates class a few weeks ago, all the more annoying because the same teacher does loads of antenatal pilates classes through the week that she could quite easily have gone to.

minx Boo to an instadiffer but double boo to her being so insensitive in telling you Hope you are doing ok x

tiger Massive hug, and also some for you for being so brave and going to visit them. It must have been really tough. We got a call from BIL and SIL yesterday to say they are expecting their third next year and SIL will therefore be 14 weeks when they come to stay with us in a few weeks time. She very sweetly offered to cancel if I thought it was going to be too much, but I'm going to put my big girl pants on and drink wine in front of her with some soft cheese chasers

beaky and rain Same clinic, but we are going to ask for the clinical director to oversee this round. I imagine it will be another mild stim antagonist but will confirm it tomorrow. They'll have to give me a lower dose of Gonal F this time, because I overstimmed last time and produced 17 eggs, which is why they think it all failed - the clinic works on the theory that around 1 in 10 eggs in the ovary are 'perfect', and during normal ovulation, your body selects the perfect ones to OV and the faulty ones are discarded. When they massively stimulate you, faulty and good ones develop but the clinic doesn't know which is which. So in theory, if they only get you to produce 4-6, those should be the good ones out of the 20ish antral follicles, and therefore there is a higher chance of the embies making it to blast and implanting.

Anyway, that's the theory! Either way, lower dose should mean I don't feel like I'm walking around with a sack of spuds inside me, like last time...

barking Glad you're being looked after, and hope you are being kind to yourself x

Hello everyone else

I am on a short flare cycle this time. I started buserelin on day 1 and then stimms on day 2 (150iu Gonal & 150iu Bravelle). I switch to 225iu Bravelle and add 75iu Menopur tonight. The Bravelle is meant to be less acidic than all the other drugs and helps follicles to grow more evenly although I don't think I mentioned on here but I swear by the hidden infection testing at serum. They told me a reason for my short cycles could be hidden infections and because my cycles are so short dominant follicles could develop before the end of the previous cycle. I completed the antibiotic treatment and the following cycle for the first time ever af was late! I normally only have 22 day cycles but it was 5 days late and af arrived on day 28 which I was very pleased about and now my follicles are all fairly even as well

Good luck with your spot tomorrow spare! I've heard some good things about lower stimms and quality over quantity!

I've updated Happy's list so we know what's what in berry town. I hope it's right and that I've not missed anyone. Kuma if you are reading can I add you to the list or would you like an honorary title?

Runners and Riders list

Down Regging / Pill
Rain - DR til baseline scan on Wednesday
Minx - still DR til af arrives (4 weeks now?) BS next tues
Beaky - pill til Thursday BS next tues then short protocol IVF
Sesame - started pill on thursday had scratch today, doing short flare protocol

Stimming
Funky - scan thurs to check lining
Lucie - day 7 first scan today with good even follie growth
Clem - currently underway with second round of clomid

In the Paddock
Happy - starting stabbing for sp IVF in around the second last week of August
Tiger - awaiting new clinic appointment on 20th August to hopefully get going again in October, NK testing in meantime
Spare - appointment tomorrow to organise next round of IVF
Barking - filling in forms for private clinic to another round
Nolly - awaiting IVF start date
Lumen - currently undergoing prep cycle before final IVF cycle
KL - initial consultation this week

Pip - best in show, as always

Sesame I hope your scratch went ok and was bearable.

Spare good luck for the appointment tomorrow, I hope you get a good plan in place.

Tiger I hope getting back to work was ok, sounds like you've done well in a tough situation with your bro and his gf.

Lucie that sounds like a great start - having them grow at a similar rate hopefully means youll have a few good quality ones to choose from.

Bootiful list beaky, thanks. somehow missed hte news that you were back in the saddle - exciting times :)

tiger, minx I feel your pain, ladies. Had a few of those this month. 3 newborns in fact. and my due date would have been next week. Is next week. Can't work out the right tense. Either way, it's shit. Shoulder the box and call for GIN

ugh to pregnant yogi sesame. Is nowhere safe? were you tempted to fart in her general direction?

spare how are you feeling about tomorrow?

i'm still in limbo. LIMBOLAND. Sounds so much more fun than it is. Like it's full of pinatas and cocktails

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow spare! Your explanation makes a lot of sense, hopefully they’ll listen and then tailor things for you.

lucie glad it looks like your body is responding much better this time round, that’s good news. My clinic’s also putting me on flare, but haven’t finalised my protocol yet. Could I possibly ask if you’d explain a bit more about yours? What dose of Buserelin you are on? And what was the interval between starting the Buserelin and the stims – was it 24h, or slightly longer?

beaky, despite being the numpty who turned up at the clinic having forgotten to take painkillers , my scratch went okay. They let me have some pills and then took me in for my appointment slightly later. And I did remember to bring some chocolate for after. Sterling work on the runners and riders list there! Wow, there’s a lot of us!

I’m sorry you’re in Limboland nolly , I hope at least they’re got sangria and maracas Thanks for the suggestion… if I get stuck next to the bump in next week’s yoga class, I know what to do…

In a last ditch attempt to improve egg quality, I’ve just started myself on 600mg a day of CoQ10. This is despite having found not a jot of decent evidence in its favour, although at least I haven’t come across any evidence of any harm. The supplements I bought also contain extra vitamin E. I also randomly purchased a bottle of Omega 3, which I may or may not add to the mix. Is this me finally succumbing to woo?

Hi Sesame, yes no problem. I started buserelin on day 1 as I wanted it to kick in as soon as possible as I've had issues with early ovulation before. I started stimms on day 2. I have been on 150iu Bravelle and 150iu Gonal. I only used the Gonal though as I had a spare pen to use up otherwise I would have done 300iu of Bravelle only. From tonight (day 7) I will be using 225iu Bravelle and adding in 75iu Menopur. It's good to have some Menopur in your cycle as it contains LH which help the follicles to grow and mature. It's normally present in a natural cycle from day 7 onwards so that's why I have waited to add it so that it mimics a natural cycle as much as possible. Let me know if you want to know anything else

Fab list beaky, it's all systems go for a few berries at the moment! Your dates have come around quickly.

Ah lucie there you are! Was wondering how you were getting on. Glad to hear all is underway and everything crossed that everything goes to plan for you. That's very interesting about the hidden infection and the change in your cycle following the antibiotics. Imagine if that's your answer...,

Glad to hear the scratch wasn't too bad seasame . I think CoQ10 is worth a bash. I'm not being very good with supplements at the mo but I just looked at dates and reckon I could kick off another cycle in around 8 weeks time, so need to get prepping now.

rain how are you feeling?

nolly also in limbo here, until initial appt next week when I'll get a sense of when I might be able to start. Waiting is getting to me. Till then I'll join you in the gin. Due date is shitness beyond belief.

Good luck for your appt spare. Dealing with bumps in the family is haaaaard. It wasn't difficult to be happy for my bro but Christmas will probably send me over the edge - brother with a new born etc and yet another year passing. Please God let me be pregnant by then.

I have felt so glum today. Work is depressing at the moment and now the novelty has worn off I'm just as disatisfied as I was at the last job, albeit I have a more impressive job title. All I really want is to immerse myself in simple domestic family life for a while. I've always been career minded, but I can't find any joy in it at the moment at all. Must work on my PMA!

Hello Berries,

Hope you all had a good weekend! if we just delete out all the moments infested with bumps and bundles and associated cheeriness
I spent saturday as a Firework championships first time seeing my friend since the bump happened,,,

beaky loved the list!

So many of you keep mentioning scratches it was starting to sound like some sort of cat fight - so had to google,,, WTF (yes I'm still clueless but learning),,,oh dear, I really am just at the very start of this roller coaster ride aren't I

I think today would be accurately filed under 'not coping'.

Tomorrow, however, is another day.

I will probably duck off here for a bit until my head is in a slightly better place.

Haven't even started bleeding yet .

Good luck all, so much happening in berry hq right now, make sure you take a good sprint down the yellow brick road and jump for the 'copter.

sorry to here that barking. Hope AF arrives quickly and you feel in a better place and back with us soon x

Hi tiger, yep I am raving about the hidden infection testing I really do think it's changed things for me. Sorry to hear you are lacking motivation in work. I feel exactly the same I've got so much on my mind all the time that I just don't want to be there and wish that I could stay at home and live the simple life until I've managed to sort everything out. The waiting is hard but glad you have your initial appt next week. I had my first hypnotherapy last week. It was really good. She explained lots of things about how the mind works. Apparently when we are stressed in any area of our lives it causes more adrenaline to be produced which instigates fight or flight and this shuts down certain parts of the body which are not essential for survival and the first to go is the reproductive system as its not needed. Also something I didn't know is that a lot of your fat shifts to around your middle as well when stressed as again its needed there for survival. I listen to her cd every night when falling asleep and have another couple of sessions booked in. I'm just trying to increase my pma and reduce stress as much as possible.

Nol big hug ladybro. What a shit time and then 3 newborns on top of that. I think a stiff gin in limboland for the moment. Have you got an idea of when you'll be able to start IVF?

Sesame imagine if no pain relief! The only saving grace is its over quickly. Also the lister clinic has a factsheet online about low OR and they recommend 600mg of coq10 per day too.

Barking we are always here for you whenever you are ready or after a break.

KL firework championship?! That sounds amazing! The scratch is supposed to help implantation, it basically scratches the lining of the womb which causes it to regenerate and is supposed to be better for implantation.

Tiger I am out of my head bored at work as well. I really would have hoped to have had the baby and be on to a new job by now. Grr.

I missed Smidge off the list damn it, so sorry Smidge I'll add you on ASAP. Did you decide to go with the Prof for your next round?

Spare good luck for tomorrow's appointment.

Has anyone done egg collection without sedation or anasthetic? How bad was it?

barking I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself and I hope to see you back here soon.

Thanks for all that lucie, interesting that you started the drugs on day 1. Did you have a natural period start to your cycle? And what’s your Buserelin dose, and is it stabbing or sniffing? And did you start Buserelin on the morning of day 1, and then stims on the evening of day 2 (i.e. a gap of about 36h)?

tiger sorry that the new job feeling has melted away. Hope you feel better. I know what you mean about that desire for a simple domestic family life, I’m also very career minded, but these days it just gets in the way of what I really want out.

Waves to KL, sorry about the alien terminology, but beaky has explained it well. I’ve actually been worrying today that I wasn’t scratched enough as this doc was gentler than the other one (who did the cycle I got pregnant…)

beaky thanks, I’d forgotten about the Lister factsheet. Are you contemplating EC without sedation? Wow. I would do it, given half a chance. The op only takes a few minutes if there’s a small no. of eggs, and I reckon it would be worth it not to have to go through the faff of being put to sleep and then waking up to the worst possible news and still having to be chaperoned for the rest of the day

Barking so sorry you are feeling down. Big hugs to you. This is not an easy journey but hope to see you back soon.

Sesame, I am on 0.3ml of buserelin a day and am stabbing, didn't fancy sniffing. I started on the evening of day 1 which was a natural period and started stimms on the evening of day 2.

Beaky Barking had EC with just gas and air. Not sure if she is reading this to give you her opinion but she said at the time that it was unpleasant, but she survived.
I'm enough of a wimp that I'd have them knock me out for the scratches and transfers if it was an option, so there is nooo way you'd catch me awake for collection! I had heavy sedation rather than a general though. The worst part of it was being nil by mouth until after lunch time, but DH had a big bag of hula hoops waiting for me when I came round

I had EC under GA and I was glad to be out! More than enough rummaging takes place whilst wide awake so I was grateful to miss that one!

Provisionally booked my NK cells biopsy for 28 Aug. £360 quid and no idea if it will be worth it. They offer gas and air, and suggest paracetamol beforehand.

I'm feeling bloody gloomy today. Need to pull myself together!

Just sat waiting for them to re-do my AMH after the consultation. Will do a full update later but in the meantime...

Thanks Spare, Tiger and Sesame I had sedation last time and vomited constantly afterwards for the whole day, then I was ill for the whole week afterwards so I really want to avoid the same thing happening but I don't think my clinic offer general anasthetic. I only had 4 follicles so was wondering if I could bare it with just painkillers. I asked the consultant about being so ill and he said it wouldn't affect the chances of getting pg but I really dont think it helped.

Wow Tiger that's expensive, but at least you will know one way or another if that's an issue for you. Join me under the gloomy gazebo, I'm sick of work as well as this shit.

Lol Sesame "worrying I wasn't scratched enough"! What are we like I'm sure it will have helped in any event.

Spare how did your appointment go?