ttc #1 support during the waiting game and friends needed on same boat

[beccarella]

Hi ladies! I am 33 and have been trying to get preggars 6months now :( feels like forever. my partner has two children from prev relationship (marriage) and his ex fell pregnant straight away apparently, my younger sister-by 6 yrs is pregnant with her 2nd which happened 2 months into her relationship ! I have been really positive this month but my period is due wed and now i have brown spotting-meaning am out again. I guess i am just on a downer now... this sucks. I have a regular 28 day cycle and ovulate day 13 (opk) and have sex at least every other day! eating more healthily and tried fertilcm to help. I have worked with children for years and so long for my own. I am addicted to these threads and love how everyone is so supportive of one another! Fairy dust to us all!x

I've haven't used them yet but have some bought some cheap ovulation strips from amazon. Fingers crossed they work okay. If not we might try the smiley face machine.

Do you guys DTD every few days even when you're not in your fertile window? Or do your partners get a rest then??

Mermaid36 this is only cycle 1 for us, but we're aiming for every other day or so through the month. Partly this is because I'm not using OPKs so can't be 100% sure exactly when the window is, and partly it is try and avoid inducing performance anxiety in DH! This is a lot more sex than we would normally have though - I've had so many gynae issues over the last year it has put a real dampener on things for us. I guess we will see how things are a couple of cycles down the line!

Hi ladies,
Hope you don't mind me joining. I'm 31 and have just finished cycle 1 of ttc our first. Spent the last two weeks convinced I had every symptom under the sun and AF arrived today (3 days late just to convince me I was preg even more)!

Quite surprised at how upset I've felt as I doubted it would happen the first time, but then the phantom symptoms took over! Haha.

Hi londonlady84 I was exactly the same, my usually very regular cycles suddenly became all over the place once I started ttc our bodies are cruel and although you tell yourself it probably won't happen first month I think it's still in the back of our minds that you just have sex and get pregnant from when we were young lol.

mermaid36 we still dtd but only because we start getting mardy with each other if we don't haha.

Hello I am also ttc #1. 26 years old. On ttc cycle 5. Currently on cycle day 20 (average cycle is 33days). Came off microgynon 30 at new year after ten years on it. Went on it at 16 to help with painful periods (which thankfully apart from one cycle post pill haven't returned).

Got a static face on clearblue opk yesterday which made me very happy. Bought them to make sure I was ovulating so it's peace of mind for me. My mum had endometriosis and tried for nearly twelve years to have me so of course I'm naturally a little worried.

We also bought conceive plus lube his month as had read it can help the mobility of sperm.

Taking vitabiotics pregnacare with husband every day after dinner and eating healthy. Read that drinking a glass of whole organic milk each day can also help so have been doing that this month.

Due to test for (hopefully) BFP on 22nd July! Good luck everyone!

Hi lovely people!
How are you all?
Been off the radar for a while as my DH had a major health scare. All very overwhelming, but we got good news sooner than expected - everything is fine. I was pretty much counting myself out for this cycle (#2) as a result but CD15 and we're back in action so... we shall see... xx

Great news about your DH, PallasCat!

mrsstickll - first proper month of trying really as before now I hadn't had an AF in 7 months after coming off the pill (did have 3 when I came off it at first).

Sorry to hear about your DH Pallascat but it's great that everything is fine :) fingers crossed for you x

Hey sunshinegirl - congrats on the positive smiley :)

I did wonder about the lube - I couldn't work out whether it id designed to actually help things along or whether it is just a safe alternative to normal lube?! We never really use it but if it actually helps then I guess it would be worth a try.

Sorry about your AF londonlady. Onto the next cycle with positive thoughts!

Well now news either way as yet, have been cramping on and off since Sunday and still nothing. Occasionally brown when wiping but no bleeding as yet all very odd. Never had cramps this long before starting af...so will wait and see.

FX for you Neetie...puzzling...seems the more attention we pay to our body the weirder it gets?!
Thank you Baby

Hi all,
Currently typing this on longest bus journey ever (thanks tube strike)
mrs ouch poor thing, last thing you want to do is ttc when you have that!
londonlady - hello fellow London lady! I'm in the middle of fertile period and I reckon the same will happen to me. My imagination likes to run away with me so I hope I can stay composed and realistic that this could be a potentially long journey (the TTC, not bus, but hey who knows!

Oops posted before I was done!
Thanks Cinder too.
And to newbies! Two LondonLadies now?! You'll have to be LL2015 and LL84?! x

Yes I wasn't sure about preseed or conceive plus or whatever. They seem really expensive!

Well af here :( fairly gutted but thinking positive for next month

Oh neetie sorry to hear that. Our bodies are so annoying tricking us aren't they...

Is anyone else using preseed etc? Really don't know whether to try it. I can't help but feel that natural cm must be better?! But maybe I am wrong. Plus when ttc it's not quite as easy to get the juices flowing if you know what i mean (TMI sorry). Does anyone else feel like it's really scheduled and military style? This morning DH told me off for asking him whether he wanted to dtd it before or after I go out tonight.

Also...I was just wondering whether it is bad to orgasm when ttc? I feel like it would make you 'close up' before the sperm had chance to get in there and do their thing, but if it's not allowed then it just makes the whole thing seem like even more of a chore. Suppose same time would be best but not always achievable !!

babycakes I know what you mean about natural cm and whilst I'm not dry when we dtd, I haven't noticed much CM so thought this might help. Also got sucked in reading the reviews on Amazon.

I don't know but I reckon it'd be good to orgasm as it'd make things wetter and therefore easier for the little guys to swim?

Oh Neetie

Babycakes I don't think so... there are various (probably erroneous) theories that the er... timing of the relative orgasms can have an impact on probability for gender. TBH I don't think there's anything behind them, and I've never heard anything about it being better not to orgasm at all.
Just thinking that given the gender theories, they would mention that if it were the case, IYSWIM?

Hi. Ttc number 1 cycle 3. Last period start 22 june. Been on holiday in hope of trying. Dh and i ttc during right time. Downside im 40 and fed up of waiting to be a mum. Took us ages to get here.

So sorry neetie
babycakes we use pressed and it helps make everything more comfortable when there's a lack of cm (ahem) and to be honest I don't know re orgasm or not but I wouldn't stop myself, that's part of the fun of it!

Positive ovulation test today and just on my way home from work, hope timings work out!

Hi everyone. Sorry I've dropped off the radar a bit. It's been a busy few weeks. Just catching up...

Kezaroo _ I know what you mean. Never in a million years did I think I'd be saying we're 8 months in with no hint of a BFP. You see the stats saying "90% of couples conceive within the first year and 80% within the first 6 months". Never in a million years did I think we'd not be part of that 80% .

LL2015 and Babycakes - Work pressure and stress in general is something I'm really starting to worry about. I work in a very challenging environment, with difficult people and a lot of pressure. On a good week I'll work 60+ hours and on bad weeks I have been known to work 100+ hours. I'm really worried because this MUST be affecting me and my ability to conceive, but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to quit and do something "easier" as what happens if I NEVER get pregnant and don't have my career to rely on, but at the same time I appreciate that this can't really go on like this! Have you tried anything to help you relax and de-stress? When things are quieter I'm good at going to the gym, which helps, but it's impossible when things are busier.

Pallas - Good to see you on here . I hope OH is doing better!

Neetie - I'm sorry about AF. It's always such a huge let-down. It's even worse when you've spotted symptoms and have got your hopes up.

Babycakes - I totally know what you mean. It's hard to force yourself to get in the mood, and I often worry about how (sorry for TMI) 'dry' things are down there. We've used conceive plus. It's helped with soreness, but I don't think it actively does anything to assist conception (although it doesn't prevent it). From what I have heard, orgasming is good so orgasm away!

It is difficult to get in the mood all the time. This is only month one - I worry about keeping this level going for months and months!

I'm also worried about being overweight - I'm losing weight slowly, but I'm still much much heavier than would be ideal (BMI over 35, I'm ashamed to say). My GP didn't seem too worried, and my gynaecologist seemed to stress that I shouldn't be hanging around with TTC, but I am worried about the impact of my weight both on my ability to conceive and on any subsequent pregnancy. I guess I just have to keep going - my weight is moving in the right direction at least.

CinderToffee - Don't feel ashamed about your weight. All you can do now is stay positive and do what you can to get your weight down. Don't do anything drastic...just take small steps which you'll be able to stick to! Every little thing you do will help your TTC journey and (hopefully!) pregnancy! Good luck - I know just how hard it is! x

Good to see you back too FlatWhite - yup we're all back to normal now. Such a relief. How are you?

Welcome Rach

Cinder at this point def don't put yourself under pressure! It should be fun!

Flatwhite - your job does sound extremely demanding and stressful! I know it's hard but I think it would be a good idea to reduce your hours if at all possible. I know you say there's nothing you can do about it, but is there anyone you can talk to about it to at least broach the subject? I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask for less than 100 hours (which I'm sure you're not contracted to do?!!!) You probably need to be a bit less willing - the more you take on, the more they will keep on expecting of you. I understand it's difficult because keeping a stable job is all the more important at the moment when ttc isn't it?! BUT they aren't going to fire you for not working at a million miles per hour - they have to have good reason and show that they have given you appropriate support before it comes to anything like that. For me, it's less about the actual hours and more about meeting deadlines and the quality/nature of the work which needs to be bang on. It can be very intense. What I've been doing is making use of more senior people in my team, asking for support/guidance rather than taking accountability for everything. After all, they are getting paid more! That said, I'm not sure how senior you are so it may be more difficult for you. In terms of relaxing - long baths, trying to switch off when you arrive home (e.g. no work email rule), massages off your partner, have fun (go out for meals, to the cinema, for walks), exercise, eat right (sugar and yoyo eating, which is common when your hours are long, will only add to the feeling of stress as it will mess with your blood sugar levels). Take care of yourself and remember: on your death bed, are you going to look back with fond memories of your career or your loved ones? In the grand scheme of things, money and work isn't important in life; the people in it are. Sorry for the long ramble!!

Cinder - don't let it get you down! As long as you are eating healthily you will be absolutely fine. People of all shapes, sizes, ages etc etc have babies every day. Listen to your GP and keep at it

Thanks for the tips ladies! Looks like I can 'O' guilt free now ...when dtd isn't too much of a chore that is!

On another note - on day 23 now and still no positive OPK :( I think my boobs are getting a bit sore though?! I hope it's round the corner. One thing that confuses me is that i seem to have had ovulation CM for about a week now?! Confused.