TTC and still breastfeeding? Thread #4: Pull up a chair for some support from others on the journey!

[Augusthomotherium]

Yes, we know all about how emotional and hard it can be! All the pros and cons, all about missing Aunty Flo's and wtf cycles with no ovulation, all about children being cute and pointy. No matter if you are five months or twenty months down the breastfeeding timeline, if you're ttc again, this is the thread to join! Welcome!

Have you been using opks Zinn? If you know you're ovulating you might not need to reduce feeds to conceive. However Sod's law seems to dictate that the ones who want to continue bf are the ones who need to stop

I have pcos too so opk are no help to me. I think I will just DTD as often as possible :) I don't want to stop BF DD for a theoretical baby especially as she is not at all ready to be weaned

Excuse my ignorance sorry. Well dtd frequently is definitely the best plan. Good Luck!

Hello Zinn. It sounds like a good plan to just keep dtd and be relaxed about it to begin with. Ttc can get very stressful, very quickly.

I meant to do an opk this evening but completely forgot and it's a bit too late now. So I've started worrying that I might randomly ovulate tomorrow and I won't know until it's too late . Someone talk some sense into me please!

Ispyfispi, thanks for suggesting the opks. I asked on the pcos thread and they do work for some so I have ordered some from Amazon. They were quite cheap so even if they don't work I wouldn't have spent much.

Trin, why is it too late? I know fmu is best but if you're going to test twice a day does it matter when? Sorry, genuine question, or are you just in bed already and don't want to get up?!

I meant too late because I cba to stay up another 2 hours to wee again! Anyway I'd drunk lots of water so it probably would have been a waste of a stick anyway. And I only have 4 opks left!

Argh why won't I ovulate??!!

Sorry Ava and Wax. Ava that dream sounds lovely! Maybe you will get your 3 children in the back seat after all.

Welcome zinn - we are at a simliar stage in that we're just DTD and seeing what happens - although I don't have AF yet.

I've been reading up about the pill I was taking and it looks like most people get AF returning about 3 months after coming off the pill. I'm only 6 weeks off it yet so won't be expecting anything just yet!

I was thinking about looking at OPKs and stuff but I don't think I'm really ready to get too in to it yet! I might think about it after a few months once AF is back if we don't have any luck.

I quite like the idea of a larger age gap - I figure it'll be less stressful! I don't think I want to rush through parenting, IYSWIM.

Trin, my dodgy pelvic floor means I can pretty much pee on command ????

I think it's fairly safe to say I'm not ovulating. Cd24 here and expecting af at the end of the week.

Hello all. Just popped back to say the Nutribullet is great. Well worth it.

Sorry to hear your news Ava

I too got really excited this cycle. felt like we'd timed our efforts much better and I was feeling much better. DD voluntarily skipped a couple of wake up feeds, and has been feeding less at bedtime too.

Over the weekend I was feeling confident, to the point where I'd even stared feeling a bit nervous about being pg again (morning sickness type feelings).

But now I have the pre-period spotting which almost certainly means AF will be here at the end of this week. Usually I spend this week kidding myself that its less than last month (usually is) and hoping by some miracle that I will still get a BFP. But I've not got the energy for that this month. My temp pattern didn't look that good, either, making me wonder whether I ovulated at all.

I am so gutted. I really thought this was our month. I'm really ready to be pregnant. I might have to go back to the loo to have a little weep (at work and v busy). Gah.

I too am fielding all the 'when are you going to have another?' and 'are you trying?' questions which I find very difficult. I'm naturally an open person, so I'm always flummoxed by the 'when are you going ot have another?' question and then they tend to rush in with 'are you trying?'

Any ideas of how to deflect these kind of questions gratefully received.

Sorry to hear about the spotting, Dougal

It's horrible when you get your hopes up. I've still got an intermittent twinge near my hip, so it's safe to say that it's nothing to do with ov or implantation

I've mentioned on here quite a few times how I now deal with these intrusive questions, I just say "we're just focussing on DD right now" and stop myself from elaborating any further - it's no ones business whether you're ttc. If you say you're trying they expect a bfp soon, then you feel like you're somehow 'failing' when actually you are 'succeeding' by raising a happy, healthy Breastfed child I'm more sensitive now when, in the past, I may have been guilty myself of just assuming everyone could conceive at will

Any news, Wax?!x

Yeah...got AF today I knew it was coming, but DH was still holding out hope so was a bit sad.

But on the plus side, this month showed I have a solid 14 day LP, and my cycles have not settled into a pattern and we are now totally weaned since Fri so amreally hoping that pays off! It was remarkably easy so she must have been ready.

Great news that your cycles have settled now wax. I have high hopes for you for next month .

Ava I'm definitely using your 'We're just focusing on...' phrase for when I see my family in August.

ispy cd 24 is definitely not too late to still ovulate. I conceived ds on cd 28! I'm currently on cd 22 and still no ovulation so I'm happy to join you on the wtf cycle bench .

I'm happy today despite no ov because I was told my request to increase my hours has been accepted . It's only a slight increase but it means that when I do eventually become pregnant it will give my maternity package a little boost so I can relax on maternity leave and do all the baby/toddler groups I like without worrying about money. Obviously my boss doesn't know my plans so she must think I really love my job .

Evening!

Oh wax I'm sorry I really thought we would have a couple of bfp announcements this week...it's gone v quiet on that front. Wow to your amazing LP!! That sounds so promising for next month fx fx fx! I hope the next few days go really quickly for you and as soon as AF passes you'll me ready to go again

Nothing to report here. I'm 6dpo and I couldn't feel less pregnant if I tried. I've been really busy gardening in the last two days and I've managed to plant a big bed that I've been dreaming about doing for 3 years. It's nice to know that it's done now so if I fall pregnant soon I won't have it hanging on my to do list. I gardening pretty hard to do even in the early pregnancy days last time. All that bending and lifting!

Congrats on getting your hours increased Trin, sounds like a good plan!

I'm half holding out hope that it's not too late to ov and that I just started testing far too early but realistically my cycles always used to be around 28-30 days so that's unlikely ???? Had some ewcm today though, what's that all about?! Why must my body mess with my head?

Sorry about af Wax but it sure sounds promising for next month x

Thank you Ava. Had a bit of a weep on DH tonight and he was v lovely.

Think the 'we are just focusing on DD right now' is a good answer. It's also true.DD is so fabulous, I really do delight I her.

I have been saying 'not until I feel better' (18 months after did arrived were crazy for us, house move, I was seriously ill (appendicitis when dd was 4 months), the I started a new job when I went back to work). But now I do feel better, so that response is almost an admission.

I'm also the thinking about just saying 'that's a really personal question' to the pusher ones, just to put them back in their box, a bit.

Fingers crossed for next cycle Wax. How old is your DC?

Dd is just over two, and doesn't want to stop yet, though I do sense now it's much more about the idea and the comfort for her (when I get back from work she leaps on me, but now often breaks off or ditches feeding in order to embellish our nannies so tired of their adventures, or show me what she's been doing).

We've had such an amazing breast feeding journey, I'd really like for her to stop in a way that she is comfortable with and of course for me to get pg meantime!

I wish it would happen now though. Her nursery steps up to full time only at 3 and I'd really like to spend some more time with her, too, when I'm on maternity leave. Though DH v sweetly said we don't have to send her in all the days if that doesn't pan out...

So sorry or hear that Wax telling DH it wasn't our month again was awful too. DH had a tear in his eye

So glad to hear DD has happily self-weaned though, that's my goal We haven't had a good couple of days bf'ing-wise - boobie prizes are only working probably half the time now, so we've taken a couple of steps back tbh. DDs gone from saying 'I want it' to 'I need it, pleeeease' and I can't refuse I can't remember when she last asked for boob during the night though, so that's something, I guess

Great news about your increase in hours, Trinpy! Gosh, it's just made me think, if we take much longer to conceive I may well be back to my full-time hours when I have DC #2 and would have a 'comfortable' maternity leave again - I didn't think it'd take this long tbh so it is a possibility at this point. Really hope it doesn't take another 20 months though

Well done Pear on all the progress with your garden. I was really productive during the 2ww too - got loads of big jobs done - really helped to focus my mind on something totally not ttc-related

A random lady told DD how good she was while we were at the bank today, and asked me 'is it just the one you've got?' She probably thought it was such a harmless question to ask

So much for spending this month trying to not think about ttc, eh??!!

Dougal, I feel the same way about wanting quality time with DD for as long as possible. I love that she's had all this undivided attention from us all this time, and that DC #2 will solely have my attention during the mornings when DD is at nursery, but there's no way I'd be happy to lose her to nursery full-time, every day, from 3 years glad you have a plan x

Arrrrrgghhh I can't sleep Everyone's asleep but me. Can't stop thinking about my 2ww and am I or am I not going to get a bfp this month Only lasted until 7dpo before going loopy Oh well...much better then last month!!! DH is just blissfully unaware of the whole thing He doesn't even ask when AF is due or anything. I doubt he's even thought about it in the last 7 days

Totally sympathise with you all on the questions front. I've gone past the point of holding it in when people ask me and I definitely have a sad face when people ask now. 8 months is a long time to keep batting away questions when you're TTC with all your might 12 months a go I was happily saying the "we're just happy with ds right now" line

Also, I like a lot of you...I am really happy with DS right now. Yesterday I went on a play date to an adventure park with my friend, her 2 year old and her 3 month old. There was so much she couldn't do with her son and I had to help her so much in little ways. There I was on the trampoline (A why is it always the 2ww that we decide to go on the trampoline? Lol) and going up and down slides with my ds. She's fortunate...her ds isn't keen on adventure and would rather sit in the sandpit for 2 hours whereas my son is mad about jumping and anything that requires assistance! Made me realise ALOT yesterday that maybe this wait I am going through is just natures way of looking after my ds and making sure he gets the attention he needs! When he's 3 he will be able to do so much more on his own and that makes me very happy to know that he's not going to miss out like this little boy was missing out (but didn't really need anyway because it's not his character to be so adventurous).

Lastly, I was looking at my scribble notes from my pregnancy with ds and last time I reported heart burn, sore boobs and spots on my forehead all on 7dpo. Not today I hope that's not a bad sign!! They do say every pregnancy is different so I shouldn't be dwelling on this...I know

Morning everyone. One of my antenatal buddies has just announced she's expecting.... Yay for her but seriously envious. I had guessed she was preggo but still came over all green with envy when I saw the scan pic

Pear, are you on the countdown to test or will you wait until AF due?

Lea - I'll be testing on Sunday morning at 11dpo. I don't know when AF will turn up for sure but on average I have a 10day LP so Sunday it is!

pear I feel the same way sometimes! DS goes to Tumble Tots and loves it, there are a few other parents in our class with a younger baby too and they really struggle to manage both (even though the staff are really helpful). When he's 3 he moves up a class and I won't need to be there so it will be so much easier! Great news on the garden, too - mine's looking really good this year too!

Lea it just not fair, is it? 3 of my friends have just had their second children, and another is expecting her 2nd. On the other hand my neighbour is also TTC and struggling so at least we can cry on each other's shoulders!

Good luck for Sunday pear!

Lea - it's hard when people announce their pregnancies and you have to deal with being a bit envious and you're limited with who you can moan to about it irl because no one (or not many people) knows you're ttc!

Still no ovulation . I think I need to take a (tiny) step back from it now because it's really starting to get to me that it's still not happening. I'm not even bf anymore so there's no reason why I should still be having these wtf cycles!! I have 2 opks left so I'm going to try and hold out until Saturday to test again. I will not waste money on expensive digis. Definitely not .