BUMSNET - where bums (and hopes) are raised in the quest for a BFP.

[purdiepie]

Are you sick to the tits of baby-making sex? Or are you squelching with rabid lust when the lickle hand strikes cock o' clock? Have you already picked Sophia and Hugo as your baby names? Do you want to gouge out the smug eyes of the pregnant women in Sainsbo's? Do you shove balloons up your Boden sweater and pretend you have baby in your tum-tum? Have you already picked out your Farrow & Ball nursery paint? GREAT! Then you're just like us: We are the friendliest, wittiest, gayest, animal-lovingest, cervical-hunting women you will ever meet.

Come on, you frightened little trying-to-conceive mice...come join the fun on the Bumsnet bus. You know you wanna

Haha Boris.

I am slowly back away from the computer today! lol

Tiger - no idea...I can imagine it would take a few months to get back into rhythm.

most random thing I heard about having a baby is that you go up a shoe size - is this true? or have I been properly mugged off by my sister. lol! x

I wouldn't have thought cd 12/13 would be too late for ov on cd13. I don't know what a flashy peak face is?

My app (clue) says ov on cd19 but I made sure we have sex from cd15-21 as it shows you a 'fertile period'

I went up 2 shoes sizes in last month of pregnancy due to ridiculously swollen feet. Took 2 months after the birth and a lot of water retention pills to get them to go back down. I don't think this is standard and I'm definitely my normal size now!

Thanks Boris.

DH willy has been grazed with his vigorous finger shuffling for his SA the other week. He was against the clock and his cock wasnt playing ball. He showed me and I couldnt stop laughing. His poor cock has been put through the mill so I have to ask if it's alright first before asking if he fancies DTD. lol

It must be pretty tough having to produce a sample on demand as they do. My DH hasn't yet been able too.

tiger I use the clearblue digi hormone ovulation test thingy. it gives you a flashy smug face when you have high fertility and static smug face when you are at your peak.

think I just need to get lots of spermz through the key hole earlier.

Sounds so sinple when you put if like that glittery.

Af is due today glittery and I think I can feel it coming already, was pleased I ovulated on day 16 instead of 20-24 but still only having 10 day lp. Onto cycle 12

Just waiting for doc to call me with blood results

Hope you all have a good day, break time over

My sisters hair went from light brown to dark brown when she was preggo! and no she didn't dye it! I'm sure her feet got bigger too as she used to have freakishly tiny feet for her height and build....

Welcome newbies.

Sorry about your mc tiger. Hope your ttc journey is short.

Bean hope it's all good news with your blood results.

Cd6 here and AF has packed up so time to get going again!

Congratulations melon. That's definitely a line and I'm on my phone.

SOMEONE MENTIONED GIN! Gimmeeeee!

queen if I wasn't so jetlagged Id offer to buy you a gin or three in town tonight :) but I'll be asleep by then - sorry

night all my life I have been bothered with constipation , I have noticed since taking conception vitamins it has got better, try and drink lots of water as if you are having lots of fibre and no water it will make it worse, , can you try lubricants to help when dtd and also when your tense it will make it worse, I know it is easy to say relax but it will help x

I have not read all of the pages yet but will reply tonight

Thanks Rainy :) Am going to buy some preseed to avoid the sperm killing qualities of other lubes!

Purdie You genius, look at all these newbies you've enticed with your oh-so-welcoming opening gambit. Well done!

Said newbies, Welcome! Laura, Giraffe & Tiger So nice to have you on board

night I am so sorry to laugh but your fear of being speared in the bum is hilarious. Does that happen regularly? Does DH have a bad aim or is that what he's after ?! If it is painful when he is in the right place though, I would suggest plenty of lube and trying to get your digestive system sorted out so your insides are nice and empty. Is DH very enthusiastic in his thrusting? Can you maybe try positions where you are more in control of the depth and speed of things?

Melon It definitely looks like a line but I totally understand your reluctance to get too excited yet. We will be here crossing our fingers for you on Sunday for a nice dark line.

Boris You're back! How does DH cope when you are away? Mine can manage for maybe 2 or 3 nights on his own but any longer than that and he starts not coping with having to cook for himself etc

rice I'm so sorry about your dad's diagnosis

bean sorry for the temp drop, that sucks.

glittery Could you not have helped him out for the sample?!

DizzyM Glad AF is over, back to CoC for you!

I've had my two highest temps in a row yet so far this cycle the last two days Cervixgoo certainly hasn't been EWey yet though.

Room for a little one ? :)

boris when you've got over your jet lag and I'm over my sniffles, we should totally get on the gin together

Look at all these newbies! Woo!

Ha thanks pug Has happened a few times but have only really become scared since the last time when it was at maximum hardness and speed, to say it hurt would be an understatement :( DH just has bad aim (I think, otherwise he is a b***d!)

Our sex life had become pretty boring as only a couple of positions I can deal with :( Going to prioritise the clearing out of my digestive system :)

Glad to heat that your temps are high!

Welcome boogie X

Welcome all the newbies!

Eskimo I have heard from Galgos Del sol and I have a beautiful darling called Berta :)

queen you are on!

thepug DH copes ok when I travel. The house looks like a chinese laundry as he has chosen to use loads of random places to dry washing - but at least he did the washing. I havn't yet looked in the fridge to see if it's exactly as I left it or not. I think the poor cats suffer more as feeding times are erratic, but they do selfcater well, so we really only gave them on a half board basis at best.

boogie welcome can you tell us about yourself? what we call stats: your age, are you ttc your first or second etc, how many cycles you've been going for, and when your bfp or period is due? Do you know why you are not up the duff yet? Do you blame it on sunlight? Or moonlight??

Sorry

night I found that if you don't test positive for coeliac disease the docs just aren't interested. I was showing a high level of a particular type of immunoglobulin in my blood which directly relates to bowel inflammation, so clearly something was going on, but I was met with scepticism and written off with irritable bowel. yes, but what is irritating my bowel?. This despite the fact there is Crohn's disease in my family and I wanted them to tell me what was causing the issue so I could avoid any risk of it progressing into an auto immune disorder.

If you google it there's loads of info about non coeliac gluten disorders (although for me I think my problem is wheat not other types of gluten) and also a condition called 'leaky gut' (which is scary as this can cause fertility problems as it affects thyroid and hormone balance.) which most doctors refuse to acknowledge, even though it is thought that it affects many people without them knowing and could be the root cause of many diseases especially auto immune issues like asthma, arthritis etc....

The only way you can get to the bottom of it (another pun lol) is to keep a food diary, try eliminating and suspected culprits from your diet for a few weeks and see if it makes any difference.

boris easy pleased