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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

BUMSNET - where bums (and hopes) are raised in the quest for a BFP.

999 replies

purdiepie · 14/05/2015 22:35

Are you sick to the tits of baby-making sex? Or are you squelching with rabid lust when the lickle hand strikes cock o' clock? Have you already picked Sophia and Hugo as your baby names? Do you want to gouge out the smug eyes of the pregnant women in Sainsbo's? Do you shove balloons up your Boden sweater and pretend you have baby in your tum-tum? Have you already picked out your Farrow & Ball nursery paint? GREAT! Then you're just like us: We are the friendliest, wittiest, gayest, animal-lovingest, cervical-hunting women you will ever meet.

Come on, you frightened little trying-to-conceive mice...come join the fun on the Bumsnet bus. You know you wanna Smile

OP posts:
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Original poster
purdiepie · 23/05/2015 12:41

Chops, shall we draw a line under it? No-one here wants to see you leave, especially after such a hard-fought win. It is entirely possible I am over-sensitive about folks lucky enough to be able to produce their own-egg babies, and it is highly likely some people would say I have no right to wave the banner for TTC-ers when I already have a tot. So..there are all kinds of discussions to be had around what should or should not be said on this thread and I think it's probably all been enunciated from both sides. I never meant to make you feel you had to leave. I don't know why it stings to see jubilation about pregnancy milestones on here but it does. Of course, that is only my experience; I cannot speak for anyone else. Please stay Thanks

OP posts:
DizzyMerry · 23/05/2015 12:54

Dizzy sorry to hear you're also feeling down. It is hard to be positive all the time but as you say this negative energy won't help us in our quest for a bfp. We will get through it and just have to accept there will be days like this and I think that's being realistic. So long as the negativity doesn't consume us we will be fine.

Nomio230 · 23/05/2015 14:16

Sorry to everyone feeling down today. It seems like a lot of you are struggling at the minute. Cake for everyone. Cake

I was dreading this month's fertile period & all the DTD, but now it is here, I am quite enjoying it!

On the subject of the grads, I like that they hang around to see how we are all doing. It gives me hope that I might get there one day too.

I also don't see how it is ok for Sparkly to say she is ten weeks, but then not ok for Chops to mention it.

I think the grads do a really good job of popping back to support us, but not mentioning themselves generally, however it is inevitable that little things will slip out. I agree that it is a bit stabby in the heart to hear about anything related to pregnancy, but these are our friends.

In the words of the great Bill and Ted, "be excellent to each other."

DizzyMerry · 23/05/2015 14:29

Nomio you have put is so eloquently and I agree with you. Thanks for the Cake it was very much needed. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying dtd it just makes everything so much more positive and fun.

chopsface · 23/05/2015 14:52

Line drawn under Cake

Nomio230 · 23/05/2015 15:03

So on a brighter note, what is everyone up to this weekend?

Woolly84 · 23/05/2015 15:04

chops Flowers we love you, please don't go x

The attached sums up how I feel today, fearful of that next BFN/AF but hopeful it'll happen one day.

Off to catch up and see what you bums have been up to Grin

BUMSNET - where bums (and hopes) are raised in the quest for a BFP.
DizzyNorthernBird · 23/05/2015 15:04

dizzym we shall get through it! I'm hoping I'll be like nomio and when next week arrives I'll rediscover my enthusiasm! Have you still got any days left to try or do you think that's you done for the cycle?

sammy enjoy your hols!

DizzyNorthernBird · 23/05/2015 15:07

Where is pixa? DP and I are looking to get tickets for Einaudi! Exciting!

DizzyMerry · 23/05/2015 15:14

Dizzy I really hope you do rediscover your enthusiasm. I actually enjoyed dtd the cycle before last. I got a flashing smiley on cd11 and 12. I didn't bother testing yesterday but got another flashing smiley today at cd14. So that would be 4 days of flashing smileys. Is that even normal? I usually ov on cd13 but have been taking epo this cycle and I read it could delay ov so it could be due to that. We've been dtd eod from cd8 so that means tonight again and hoping I get a solid smiley tomorrow but if not we will still dtd.

Nomio230 · 23/05/2015 15:18

Sounds like a good plan, DizzyM.

We DTD last night, and I think will probably do the next four days. I should get my smiley face on Mon, so that should cover it. Hopefully out of all the billions up there, one one of them will be the magic sperm!

Woolly84 · 23/05/2015 15:34

ibeka sorry for the BFN, I still hope you're not out for this month. Hope your trip to Cornwall is going well and helping to take your mind off it.

purdie I'm sure our sex life won't be as healthy post baby! I reckon you should get "the dress" out Wink

pug I hope your wtf cycle is over with soon, any updates today on the opk?

pikz Flowers hope you're okay x

sammy glad you're feeling calm about things, that scan date will be coming round in no time!

night hope you're enjoying Devon with the grandparents!

sparkly!! Grin so lovely to see you back, we missed you, I hope you're feeling a bit better lovely, sounds like a tough few weeks you've had x

rainy yay for ovulation!! Smile hope stupid AF stays away.

nomio glad CoC week is going well!!

oyster Flowers you're not out yet lovely, and if it's not happened this month it doesn't mean you've missed your best chance, we've seen a fair few "one hit wonders" on these forums where there's only been one or two dtds leading to a BFP.

dizzynorthern good on you for being more relaxed about things this month, my ovulation seems to vary a lot too month to month so we can't plan dtd perfectly, just have to try our best. Aw great news about your friend Smile

Congrats to our mystery bums netter! Wink fab news x

dizzym sorry you're feeling down, yes as oyster says treat yourself, indulge in some "you" time or go see family, it WILL happen for you x

wood glad the referral is sorted, another step closer x

waves to glittery,wotsits,juney,melon,spinning Smile

Sorry to anyone I missed!

DizzyNorthernBird · 23/05/2015 15:36

I don't know anything about Smiley faces I'm afraid dizzym, but grit your teeth and keep on at it! Fx you get your static smiley tomorrow. How is your DH doing, is he staying motivated?

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 15:51

I'm sorry but I have to say I am disappointed. My comments are not directed at everyone on this thread but I feel I need to say something. I cannot understand how Chops was shot down for making a reference to being 10 weeks when Sparkly comes on here and says the same but nothing is said to her? Chops did not mean she is in a special 'club' at all. I for one feel as though I come on here to support all the friends I have made over the past 6 months and I like to comment on your stories. However, I very rarely even get acknowledged on this thread anymore and I am certainly not mentioning anything pregnancy related!! I totally understood when all this kicked off before about grads not making pregnancy related comments but when Sparkly comes on she gets asked how is she feeling, how many weeks she is now etc. Can some of you not see how this sends mixed messages to the grads?!!!! We don't know what the hell we are 'allowed' to mention. Or is it one rule for one and another for everybody else?! (Sorry Sparkly I am certainly not getting at you, this is not your fault)

DizzyMerry · 23/05/2015 16:06

Ditto tessie. I'm probably like a broken record now! In all honesty I would like to know how our grads are getting on just as much as I like to know about sparkly. The rules should be the same and I hate seeing any kind of negativity on this thread. If it's not ok to mention morning sickness for the grads then I don't see how it was ok for that question to be asked to sparkly. The point wotsit made was entirely valid and now she's left us Sad
I did understand what was being said when all this first came up but I think we need to have clear rules that apply to everyone. My take on this would be for the grads to stay with us and ok not go into the gory details but what's wrong with making the odd preg comment? Yes we're all struggling but so were the grads, yet they still pop back to support us.

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 16:14

Thank you Merry

I for one ( and I would be saying this even if I wasn't a grad) think it is bloody fantastic Chops has reached 10 weeks and she should be able to tell her online friends on this thread. The same online friends who supported her when she was going through the tough times too. Congrats to Chops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ThePug · 23/05/2015 16:19

woolly I'm visiting the ILs today and won't be home til this evening so I might not bother with an opk today, I'll see what cm suggests later on.

There's nothing stopping those wanting to know how the grads are getting on from checking in on them in the grads bus where there are lots of updates Confused

Nomio230 · 23/05/2015 16:20

I completely agree with DizzyM. It would be painful to hear all the details, and I am sure the grads would respect that, but I wouldn't mind celebrating milestones.

I think of everyone on here as friends, and hate the thought of being exiled the minute I get my BFP.

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 16:23

Purdie - please tell me why you didn't shoot Sparkly down for mentioning she had reached 10 weeks? I mean, how dare she, surely?!!!!

DizzyNorthernBird · 23/05/2015 16:24

I agree tessie and dizzym. Sometimes I wonder whether it's become too political on here, with rules about what can and can't be talked about. I appreciate not everyone feels the same but personally I'm happy to hear stories from everyone and no one should have to 'walk on eggshells' for fear of upsetting others.

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 16:27

Exactly Nomio, we could all celebrate milestones but not go on and on. I totally get that, I always have. I never even mentioned when I had my 8 week scan on here and it made me feel like shite tbh, feeling as though I wasn't allowed to mention it AT ALL. But others go for scans and you want to know how they get on - why are we not all treated the same?!!!!!

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 16:28

Thank you DizzyN!

Rainy34 · 23/05/2015 16:37

I don't want to see us all arguing, I asked sparkly how many weeks she was now !,

It is always nice to see graduates come back hoping both Tessie and Chops are both doing well!!

Well I have had a big slab of chocolate cake feel very bloated and achey , the witch has def came to visit me, actually feel alright about it today, was a total reck a few days ago, even went and bought a pair of denim shorts they feel a bit tight but I believe my stomach is like a balloon at the moment , so think they will fit better next week either that or il be going on that diet

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 16:42

I don't want to see us arguing either Rainy but why aren't all of us grads asked questions about how we are getting on, even just now and again? I am speaking out for others who feel the same, that we feel largely ignored now!

tessiegirl · 23/05/2015 16:43

That comment wasn't aimed specifically at you btw, Rainy