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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

BUMSNET - where bums (and hopes) are raised in the quest for a BFP.

999 replies

purdiepie · 14/05/2015 22:35

Are you sick to the tits of baby-making sex? Or are you squelching with rabid lust when the lickle hand strikes cock o' clock? Have you already picked Sophia and Hugo as your baby names? Do you want to gouge out the smug eyes of the pregnant women in Sainsbo's? Do you shove balloons up your Boden sweater and pretend you have baby in your tum-tum? Have you already picked out your Farrow & Ball nursery paint? GREAT! Then you're just like us: We are the friendliest, wittiest, gayest, animal-lovingest, cervical-hunting women you will ever meet.

Come on, you frightened little trying-to-conceive mice...come join the fun on the Bumsnet bus. You know you wanna Smile

OP posts:
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glitteryflange · 20/05/2015 14:57

I do love a sniff of herbs! :)

I might go get some cannabis and roll a joint and see if that helps. Every other drug taking skank seems to be able to get pregnant! Angry

night sod it, chomp away. Wish I could!

Woolly84 · 20/05/2015 15:09

Hehe glittery Grin

I think I'll stop trying and wait for an drunken accident Hmm

Nomio230 · 20/05/2015 15:22

I am going to start drinking, taking drugs & paying no attention to my cycle. I will be guaranteed a BFP then!

Woolly84 · 20/05/2015 15:32

Yes nomio I'll join you in NTTC Wink

Nomio230 · 20/05/2015 15:49

We will e upduffedbefore you know it, Woolly!

Nomio230 · 20/05/2015 15:49

Be upduffed before.

Woolly84 · 20/05/2015 16:04

Yes nomio! Let's do our Stats...NTTC #1, cycle: don't know, don't track it, Age: it's just a number, BFP due: imminently Grin

Nomio230 · 20/05/2015 16:19

Fags smoked today-27, bottles of wine drunk-3, drugs taken-all. Sex once up against a wall! Grin

DizzyMerry · 20/05/2015 17:01

That was a bfp waiting to happen nomio!!! If in future I wish to avoid ttc I will do that in reverse Hmm

Why is it so quiet on here? Where is everyone? Where's Purdie?

glitteryflange · 20/05/2015 17:07

Right that's it. 18 cups of coffee a day, 2ltr vodka at weekends, 160 fags a week, burger kings, macdonalds and kebabs for tea, one night stand with random scrout after too many hooches in local nightclub.

Pregnant with twins.

Nomio230 · 20/05/2015 17:10

Love it Glittery!

glitteryflange · 20/05/2015 17:13

SERIOUS POST

Has anyone invented a watch yet where it takes your temperature automatically so you don't have to wake up to take it? or any device for that matter.

Just got the idea after thinking about pagers that could beep you when you get your LH surge - without pissing on sticks - then thought about the watch that takes your temperature.

I am FUCKING wasted working here.

glitteryflange · 20/05/2015 17:15

Suppose without piss or blood we cant tell really.

Woolly84 · 20/05/2015 17:23

glittery invent something! It would totally outsell the crappy new Apple iwatch..

I've had enough of work, im off shopping for some figure hugging non-bump friendly clothes...

chopsface · 20/05/2015 17:30

Lol you girls make me Larf x x

Good luck with the non ttc!

nomio how's your ivf referral stuff going now hun?

loopylou1984 · 20/05/2015 17:44

Glittery I'll buy your watch over the apply one any day!!! X

spinningirl10 · 20/05/2015 17:48

Glittery, we've relocated here, partly! We're back in the UK in 3 weeks for the whole summer. Dp is going back a week before us for work. I have between 6-8 foreign students booked in for the whole of July and August and the last 2 weeks of June. We will be back here for the very beginning of Sep for Ds to start school. We're busy trying to sort the school at the moment, there's so much paperwork!

I had Accupuncture for a while with a lady who specialised in fertility. I enjoyed it and she was really lovely. I only stopped because of us coming away. I think it's worth a try for anyone considering it, just do your research and find one with some good feedback.

Back later Grin

glitteryflange · 20/05/2015 18:16

Ah spinning that sounds. Amaze balls. You will have such a lovely tan! (How essex am I)

I just googled 'what does a cervix look like during orgasm'

Lord have mercy.

autonomousplum · 20/05/2015 18:19

Who on here is opk queen?
I had a proper on positive last night, this morning it was lighter again as expected, and now tonight it's gone darker (not quite positive yet) again.Confused Anyone noted two surges before? Mean anything? I'll dtd dutifully again tomorrow then.

autonomousplum · 20/05/2015 18:20

glittery you may want to wipe your memory and cookies before letting anyone else into your laptop. Hmm

nightandthelight · 20/05/2015 18:23

Well after my grumpiness DH has taken me out for dinner and bought me two new pairs of shoes! The man is a saint :)

We have made the decision that if I am not pg this month then we will start the fostering process! So excited Grin

wotsits1 · 20/05/2015 18:31

Just quickly hopping on to ask.....Where's Purdie?!?!

wotsits1 · 20/05/2015 18:33

Night that's amazingly exciting news!!! A colleague of mine has fostered twins since they were 6 weeks old. They're 4 now and are going through the adoption process (its only taken this long because they've been waiting until they were in school and wouldn't need to pay child care on top of losing the fostering pay!!!).

autonomousplum · 20/05/2015 18:36

Yay night that's grand! It's been on my long list with or without children of my own. Well done on making the decision!

Hairstylisttoboris · 20/05/2015 18:42

autonomous I think That your LH hormones rise during the days that you surge and drop back a little in the morning, LH rises usually peak at 4 pm so I think you've picked up a good 2 day surge (a lovely strong surge) that had a natural rise in the hormone at the same time both days. Does that make sense?