Candle smugglers of the world unite! The Berries have loaded up the charabanc and have Barry on repeat. Destination BFP (via the pouch of Douglas)

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy

Current passengers

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSIs. Hopefully FET early May with only frostie. Long awaited NHS appt in June
Beaky 35, ttc coming up 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1x long protocol ivf cancelled due to poor response. On the pill awaiting short protocol IVF in may
Minx, 34, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF info evening June, IVF "booking in" appointment in July
Nolly, 33, TTC 2.7 years, mc Dec 2014. awaiting ivf August 2015 while dh is off on a jolly.
Wild 40 - TTC for three years. Embies on ice and planning FET with immune treatment in June.
HampshireBlues 36 TTC 3.5 years, unexplained. Cycle 1 chemical pregnancy, cycle 2 abandoned due to cyst, cycle 3 failed. Plan thrombotic profile, scratch and short protocol.
Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle in the summer.
Tigerdog, 34 ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained and all test results good. Currently in the middle of long protocol IVF, 13 eggs collected and awaiting news for next steps.
Gillster, 41, TTC since Feb 2012. Had IVF in Feb 14 and had 6 one cell embies frozen due to polyp. 2 x 2 day embies finally put back 14 months later on 16th April, BFP 28th April
Smidge, 39 this month, TTC since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF#1 Short protocol July '14 BFN, IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb '15 both Long protocol BFNs. High NK cells immune treatment. 2 frosties due to be put back in natural FET in May or June.
Kuma - 40. TTC 2.5 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15. Looking to change clinic and try another natural cycle in June 2015.
Lucieloos, 35, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. 1st ICSI in Czech Republic in April 2015. Awaiting results.
Barkingtreefrog, 35, ttc since Dec 2011. Clomid bfp summer 2013, mc @ 7 weeks. IUI bfp summer 2014, mc @ 7 weeks. Diagnosed with factor v leiden thrombophilia (but
not thought to be the cause of the mc's as they were too early). Failed IUI January 2015, failed IVF March 2015. No further NHS help. Going private for nk cells testing and a scratch before putting the frosties back, hopefully this summer.
Rain, 33 ttc since March 2012. unexplained. mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. NHS IVF starting in June
Spare planning FET with remaining frosties shortly
Pont 1st IVF in Czech Republic in July.

Oh no Barking that sounds awful, it must have just caught you off guard.

Good luck for later on Tiger hope it al goes smoothly.

Barking so sorry you had a rubbish day. This is all so hard
Gillster the truth is I've no idea what's happening tomorrow! They'll ring me first thing to give me a time. The nurse said maybe about 12ish or maybe earlier . So I've had to take the whole of tomorrow off as obviously can't leave at the drop of a hat. Am going back on Wednesday though as have so much to do and my GCSE pupils have their exam next week. Plan to take it easy though.
To be honest I won't believe it's actually happening tomorrow until we know the embie has survived the thaw. Bit of a risk with just having the one!

Hope your embie gets through freezing and gets to go home tomorrow happy!

Sorry you felt so sad barking

Thanks for the good wishes ladies. I'm surprisingly chilled and have had a nice weekend. I do have the odd moment of paranoia that we'll get there and there won't be any left to put back! Wish the transfer was a bit earlier - it isn't until 2.40 and I'm not sure what to do with myself. Have had a pre transfer acu session and just counting down the time now

just swinging in to wish you luck tiger x

So, I have one BC grade blastocyst and one too early to grade embryo/blastocyst on board. OTD is Friday 15 May. The perfectionist in me is a touch disappointed that they're not AAs but the other part of me says it's important to love your kids unconditionally, even if they are not perfect! Trying hard to be positive.

New Forest hotel booked for tomorrow for two nights so we can get some sea/countryside air and Mr T is on manservant duties for the rest of the day whilst I put my feet up.

Ooh exciting Tiger. You rest up and allow yourself to be waited on hand foot and elbow. New Forest sounds like a lovely spot for a break, just perfect.

Yay to being PUPO Tiger - the cubs are on board

Don't get too hung up on quality, it's not like we've had a great success rate for the transfer of top quality embies. Enjoy your mini break with Mr T and Tigerdog, it's a fab idea and although almost impossible, try and relax.

Minx I can definitely recommend the KonMari method for getting rid of stuff - 'does it spark joy?' If not chuck it out. Should help with moving.

The only IVF book I have is Emma Cannon's one 'The Baby Making Bible'. It's not specifically about IVF but does cover IVF pretty well and has advice on preparing for a cycle and diet during treatment. She is an acupuncturist and it is all definitely very geared to alternative therapies. I didn't buy it with IVF in mind (oh those heady, optimistic days when I thought I would get pregnant naturally) but did find it quite useful during my cycle.

Some of the other Berries have mentioned a book which includes a chapter for partners, Barking I think you and Bushy talked about it. That sounds like a good one.

I did also find Rebecca Fett's 'It Starts With the Egg' useful for advice on supplements. It was Kuma who originally recommended that one.

I'm sure the others will have more suggestions for you Minx - and June will come round quickly I promise.

Aww Barking it's the being caught off guard which is the worst isn't it. Does your friend know?

Tiger woohoo PUPO twinz! How did you manage to get them to put 2 back? Any chance of frosties? I'm over the moon for you enjoy your little break and fx the next 2 weeks will fly. Also Gill is spot on about quality.

Happy your turn tomorrow! Fx all goes well for you and your frostie.

minx it is high up - totally out of the way! But I love that it's in the old peoples wing and no preggos in sight although what's with the baby pic corridor?! We are back there next week for 1st scan before starting short protocol. Is your consultant appointment in June as well? They will give you your dates to start and a print out of your treatment plan at that appointment so you will have specific dates very soon also weve just moved and I can honestly say you need all the spare time and energy you have for that so the timing probably works well. I'd recommend Zita West's IVF book,bits very thorough. Emma Cannon (as mentioned by Wild is good too but very very woo-y.

How are you feeling Gill?

How's your detox going Wild?

Hope everyone else is enjoying the long weekend!

I'd also recommend Zita West and Emma Cannon minx although neither are amazing they are both useful.

No frosties beaky as my two top grade became fragmented and weren't good enough to freeze. The embryologist said that the two best ones on day three weren't the leading ones at day 5, so glad we got this far. Two put back because the first one wasn't top grade and the straggler wasn't for freezing. We discussed before we went and agreed DET if the option was presented, and that we'd push for it if not top grade or if there were any that wouldn't freeze but potentially viable. In the event they offered DET straight up and didn't try to persuade us otherwise.

Our FC also has a baby pic corridor - a fair few triplets feature! We had two sets if triplets on my street when growing up - I wonder if they were ivf?

happy hope you're all geared up for tomorrow. Fingers crossed for you.

nolly how are you holding up now Mr Nol has gone off on his trip? and for you?

smidge did you decide May or June yet?

wild how's the detox going?

barking hope you're feeling better.

lucie I'm so sorry for the bfn, Its so unfair.

barking sometimes the pain is stronger than we can expect. Sounds like you did exactly what you needed to to self preserve, we can't be fake smile automatons all the time.

tiger you're PUPO! Excellent news, I got BBC in my A Levels and I'm doing ok, so the grading sounds fine to me! Enjoy your mini break!

happy best of luck for tomorrow! will be thinking of you, and hoping for a successful transfer.

Hope everyone's had a lovely BH weekend! We reserved a new cat yesterday. Hoping we'll get her next weekend!

happy good luck for tomorrow

tiger pupo!!!! and twinz!!!!!!

beaky/minx yes, my friend knows our full story, and it was her house I broke down in last year because I was babybombed with a newborn whilst still bleeding from mc #2. She thought that because they weren't babies it wouldn't be a problem for me.â?¦.. I want to be a mother, I don't care how old their kids are, I want what they have .

Had a heart to heart with DH today. He thinks we've got to the end of the road and ivf will never work for us. I hate how this is dragging on but need to see it to the end, and don't see the end yet. I hate this shit, why can't we just have sex and get pg?

Just swinging in to say the book I liked was 'total fertility' by Emma cannon. Again it wasn't about IVF especially but did have chapters on it & was a reassuring read in general.

Good luck tiger! V exciting! Lots going on here, sending you all good vibes.

Tiger - yay, so happy to hear you have two onboard - everything crossed for your 2WW. Enjoy the New Forest - my inlaws are there so we go quite often, lots of nice walks and cosy restaurants to visit.

Lucie so sorry to hear things haven't worked out this time, but it will get easier, and you can try again, so keep strong The second time is easier too, I found.

Minx I found Rebecca Fett's book good, I couldn't really get on with Emma Cannon, I think one of her books I finished but the other was a bit too woo. I did read one by Jean Twenge a couple of years ago, but like Wild, it was back when natural conception was something I believed in, and i can't remember if it even covered IVF at all.

Happy all the best for tomorrow, exciting times here in HQ!

Barking sorry your day was so messed up, it seems rather unsympathetic of your friend to have two kids there - but unfortunately a lot of people don't seem to think about things like that. I'm also sorry that your DH is finding it difficult to continue with the IVF route - but if you still feel you have to explore those options I think you should, and I hope he can come to terms with that.

Rain exciting to hear your getting a new furry friend, is he/she a kitten/cat/rescue cat?

I'm away on a business trip so have been working all of the bank holiday weekend. Managed to get sat next to a preggo on the plane - only 4 months so I couldn't tell until she decided to give me all the details, then last night I was sitting next to a guy at a dinner who wanted to talk to me about his wife being 9 weeks pg, which lead to me being interrogated by a client I've known for about 5 years about when I'm going to have kids. He knows I've been married for almost 3 years and am 40, so if he was even the tiniest bit thoughtful he might have not have been so blatant about it . I suspect there is never a good time in that situation to mention years of trying and failed IVFs....

Firstly Happy lots and lots of luck for today.

Barking the idea of just having sex and becoming pregnant is now in the same category as elves and fairies in my mind. It's bloody awful to have to go through all this, but keep going and you will get through it somehow.

Kuma that sounds like an absolute nightmare of a trip - all that kids and preggo chat, yuk! Have you got a date in mind for your next round yet, by the way?

The detox has been really good and today's the last day. I feel great and I think I will stick to the principles for a bit - well broadly stick to the principles with maybe the odd bit of toast or chocolate or glass of wine thrown in! A lot of the recipes are lovely and I will use them again. I'm half a stone lighter now than I was at EC. It must have been a lot of bloats water retention that has gone, it just wouldn't be possible to lose that much actual weight in that time. Anyway, I'm pleased about it.

Nice to see you Bushy.

Good luck today Happy, hope the defrosting goes well and that mini Happy is back in its rightful place very soon.

Sorry about all the baby chat Kuma. Not sure I'd have been able to hold back and if it had been me would have given him a blow by blow account of the last 14 months in particular! Some people do not engage their brain before opening their mouth.

Barking, sorry your DH is feeling so down about things at the moment. After your previous plan, I guess he got it in his head that whatever happened you'd be moving on now so it's probably just taking time to adjust. I think you have to feel that you've tried everything though. I'm sure he'll be back on board soon and is probably just a bit stressed with work too at the moment?

Great work on the detox Wild. You'll be in excellent shape to welcome your frosties on board very soon.

Yay to the new Rainycat! Hope he/she settles in well.

good luck happy, keeping everything but legs crossed for a smooth transfer for you

at fairies and elves wild - so true!!

kuma she's a rescue, 2 years old and ridiculously cute. Can't upload pics from the app otherwise I'd post one! she's a tuxedo - black with white whiskers and white chest and socks. We basically wanted all of the cats there tho (and some of the dogs!), rescue centres are so heart breaking!

ps huge props to you kuma on surviving that business trip, sounds utterly hellish.

Good luck to you today happy! Thinking of you.

That sounds fairly hellish, kuma. I can't believe people think these topics are fair game ever, let alone in a work environment.

barking sounds to me like your dh is in self protection mode after the disappointment of an unsuccessful ivf cycle. I think you've got a really good plan outlined, and I'm sure he will come round to it.

Nice work wild! I am definitely suffering from bloating at the moment.

Hi bushy hope you're doing ok!

Aw rain I love the black and white tuxedo cats! We had one from a rescue called Chaplin many years ago! Unfortunately I'm just too allergic to have another.

gill how are you doing? Any symptoms?

Hello everyone! Hope you all survived the weekend?
Tiger Hurray for PUPO! How are you feeling?
happy Have you heard anything yet? Keeping everything crossed for you today
rain When do you get your new kitty?
Barking Massive hugs. It is so shit, isn't it. Hope you had a good ride in the end.

I lost the plot a bit yesterday. DH and I were running the park, and a couple ran towards us, each pushing a jogging pram with a child in it. DH turned to me and said 'promise me we'll never look that ridiculous'. I don't know why, but I went ballistic, screaming at him and said some things I really regret. Don't know if this is the withdrawal from the steroids, or whether the stress of the last few months is making my lose my sanity, but I think I need to sort myself out this week.

Woohoo to being PUPO Tiger

Spare sorry you're having a tough time but go easy on yourself - you've been through a hell of a lot recently. I'm sure your DH will understand. A while back I warned Mr Happy to ignore anything I say or do that's out of character as it's probably due to the drugs/hormones.

The embryologist called earlier to say that we're pencilled in for ET at 1. The embie hasn't been thawed yet though and they like to let it 'rest' for a while before transfer so they are calling back in a few hours. She did say that the thaw success rate is 95%. We've been told various things from 80-98% by other people at the FC so a bit more reassuring to hear it from the expert. Basically still in limbo but keeping everything crossed.

I'm feeling alright spare although hot flushes (from the progrsterone I suspect) kept me awake last night and I've got a random pain on my left hand side. Massive squeeze for you. I'm sure your dh will understand. You've been through a fair bit recently understatement and even if you've felt strong, I still think the emotion leaks or bursts out at times. I could have killed Mr T this morning, for no real reason and sometimes I feel like he forgets that it hasn't been easy because I haven't made a fuss. Hope you feel more sorted this week, be kind to yourself. xx

Ooh, good luck for 1pm happy!

Our little embie has survived the thaw. Phew! I've been on pins all morning! Even my normally calm and collected DH showed an unusual amount of emotion and said "well thank God for that".