Candle smugglers of the world unite! The Berries have loaded up the charabanc and have Barry on repeat. Destination BFP (via the pouch of Douglas)

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy

Current passengers

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSIs. Hopefully FET early May with only frostie. Long awaited NHS appt in June
Beaky 35, ttc coming up 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1x long protocol ivf cancelled due to poor response. On the pill awaiting short protocol IVF in may
Minx, 34, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF info evening June, IVF "booking in" appointment in July
Nolly, 33, TTC 2.7 years, mc Dec 2014. awaiting ivf August 2015 while dh is off on a jolly.
Wild 40 - TTC for three years. Embies on ice and planning FET with immune treatment in June.
HampshireBlues 36 TTC 3.5 years, unexplained. Cycle 1 chemical pregnancy, cycle 2 abandoned due to cyst, cycle 3 failed. Plan thrombotic profile, scratch and short protocol.
Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle in the summer.
Tigerdog, 34 ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained and all test results good. Currently in the middle of long protocol IVF, 13 eggs collected and awaiting news for next steps.
Gillster, 41, TTC since Feb 2012. Had IVF in Feb 14 and had 6 one cell embies frozen due to polyp. 2 x 2 day embies finally put back 14 months later on 16th April, BFP 28th April
Smidge, 39 this month, TTC since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF#1 Short protocol July '14 BFN, IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb '15 both Long protocol BFNs. High NK cells immune treatment. 2 frosties due to be put back in natural FET in May or June.
Kuma - 40. TTC 2.5 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15. Looking to change clinic and try another natural cycle in June 2015.
Lucieloos, 35, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. 1st ICSI in Czech Republic in April 2015. Awaiting results.
Barkingtreefrog, 35, ttc since Dec 2011. Clomid bfp summer 2013, mc @ 7 weeks. IUI bfp summer 2014, mc @ 7 weeks. Diagnosed with factor v leiden thrombophilia (but
not thought to be the cause of the mc's as they were too early). Failed IUI January 2015, failed IVF March 2015. No further NHS help. Going private for nk cells testing and a scratch before putting the frosties back, hopefully this summer.
Rain, 33 ttc since March 2012. unexplained. mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. NHS IVF starting in June
Spare planning FET with remaining frosties shortly
Pont 1st IVF in Czech Republic in July.

Thanks for the acne sympathy. It's definitely hormonal. I used to have really good skin until recently. Am going to try being sugar free for a couple of weeks to see if that helps, if I can manage it!

beaky I had to stop reading that article as I got too angry. So not helpful.

wild that is interesting. Dsis and Dgran have Coeliacs and IBD so there is certainly history. I am going to push it with the GP as a separate issue.

rain sounds like you'll be long protocol. My AMH is 22.9 but didn't get any such warning, presumably you'll be on 150 menopur to start with? I was on same drugs. I had a headache one day on burserelin and then two days of being really emotional towards the end of stimming, otherwise I felt really well in myself tbh. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you! What are you going to do about time off work?

Rain I was buserelin and Merional I think, buserelin suppresses your system and turns everything off then your menopur will stim when you get to it! Not sure what else you might be stabbing with, unless they give you progesterone injections instead of bum bullets! I do think I've been infertile for longer than we have been officially "trying" I was off the pill etc for at least 2 years before we started. We should definitley get a sash or something

Some of the comments on the article were actually quite good Tiger a lot more balanced than the stupid pointless article. Sugar free may well help the spots, I did a bit of googling at the time and apparently it is a thing after IVF.

Raindrops, that's very kind of you offering me the meditation cd. Have you finished with it. That's great news about all your test results!

Tiger, I haven't heard back from the Greek clinic to say they have received my sample yet. I hope it hasn't gone missing I had a look at the catching rainbows website and she doe have some very interesting articles. I would really like to do the personal plan but I've just spent so much on this ttc lark lately I just don't know if I could justify another £99.

Wild, I am also going to be trying prednisone, aspirin and Clexane on my next cycle and having Gestone instead of pessaries. I haven't had any immune testing though but am hoping to get the level 1 done when in czech.

beaky just a standard Victoria sponge, didn't have time for anything more elaborate!
That article would have made me .

kuma I didn't have sedation for EC and they took 8 eggs from me. I could see it on the screen and feel the needle go into each follicle. It was painful, but nothing compared to the biopsy. I was given gas and air for EC so I just took a big drag as they were about to go into each follicle and the pain was manageable. In contrast, I was gasping in pain and very close to tears running down my cheeks on Monday, only feeling made me man up and grit my teeth... If my nk cells are high and I need to try the steroids and another biopsy I really don't know if I could make myself go in there. Perhaps I should try some gin instead of paracetamol next time .

wild well said, we should have a berry badge to show discreetly at clinics to access the fast track appointments

tiger other than cake I'm doing well on the wheat free this week. I agree that it can be expensive though.

tiger/rain no advice on the acne bit plenty of sympathy, spotting a whopper on my check right now as well as the usual collection... Mine is totally hormone related, peaks around ov then around AF.

Happy Friday Berryland!

Annoyingly, I wrote a big long update and my phone had a bit of a hiccup, and it has gone. Hope the rest of the day goes better...!

Firstly an update from our meeting with the consultant to discuss options and next steps.
He thinks that the problems leading to us losing the baby were completely unconnected with IVF, and therefore our '1 in 3' odds have been correct, it is just the 1 didn't go the way we wanted. So he thinks that doing the same again would be ok, because the two failed cycles don't point to any sort of problem.
That said, he said there are a few things they can do to try and improve things next time.
The main one is Pre-implantation genetic screening of embryos, to make sure they are only putting back chromosomaly-perfect ones and not ones that have any sort of translocation or missing chromosomes. BUT, the test costs £3k and can't be done on the NHS. He said to weigh up the savings of not having to do repeated FETs because this gives a much higher success rate per transfer, and also the emotional benefit of not having BFNs.

He also told us about a clinical trial that is being run after initial research in Spain, on when the lining is most receptive to implantation. The research shows that OV and lining can get out of sync, so basing the transfer on the OV date doesn't always work. The clinic aren't taking part in the trial, but they can use the technique (a scratch and biopsy in the previous cycle) if we want. Obviously again at a cost

I asked about the Serum tests and he said he is skeptical, because everyone he knows who has sent the test off has come back with a positive result, but he is happy to prescribe the antibiotics for both of us on an empirical basis (although for 14 days, not the 40 they do, because he said that even in the worst cases of those infections, they'd only do a 10-14 day course).

Re egg sharing, he needs to share the details of our pregnancy loss with a colleague to check that doesn't exclude us from taking part, before he can say whether we could be eligible, but hopefully we'll know one way or the other soon. If that is a no, or if DH wants to do these tests, god knows how we'll pay for it. Maybe make the dog have some babies and sell those to fund my babies?!

I did also say that I was quite shocked to read all the coverage of Nargund's comments, and she must be really regretting it now, given how much criticism has been leveled at the very women the clinic is supposed to be helping, and making your own patients feel shit about themselves isn't a very smart move. He said that he can't speak for her, but her comments have been taken out of context and 'you have to stick up for what you believe in'.

Beaky tiger I had terrible acne on my neck and jawline during ivf and FETs. I read something that progesterone thickens up all fluids in the body including skin sebum, which means it is more likely to get clogged in pores and turn into spots. There is literally no end to the shit we have to put up with...

kuma Create specialises in treating women with low AMH and low responses so I can see why they would follow that.

rain how did it go? Thinking of you...

Hello everyone else! Hope you've got nice weekends lined up?

Hi all, hope that your Friday is going quickly; it is nearly the weekend!

Smidge I am utterly appealed by the secretary. The damn cheek and the assumption about who is willing to give slightly on their dates is appalling. I'm glad you stuck to your guns though and have managed to get it sorted. The holiday cottage looks AMAZING and the Bordeaux region is beautiful. I hope that you manage to relax.

Antionia symptom spotting is the biggest mind f@@k in the world and doesn't ever stop I'm afraid. I hope that all goes well at your appointment next week and that you start to get a plan together.

Minx have you been to your open / info evening yet? Was it useful? Oddly that is one thing that we didn't get at our unit. I think we went to some show in London (?the fertility show) and then visited the clinic one evening.

Rain and Kuma being an ostrich for a while is perfectly acceptable and I'm almost thinking that given the number of us who have done so recently am beginning to think that this should be in the next thread title. But you both have plans which is positive - I have no idea what EC without sedation would be like but have to say I don't fancy it myself. My consultant did offer it as favour being a member of staff but I declined and went for the GA!

Wild it sounds like you are properly drugged up; keeping everything crossed for you.

Tiger hope you get your follow up appointment soon

Sorry if I've missed anyone off, cheekily catching up at work!

spare that all makes very interesting reading, thanks for sharing the latest. Do you know what you'll go for? I think we've resigned ourselves to using our savings and some debt to fund further IVF. It sucks to be honest but I guess we just have to get on with it. Hopefully another round on the NHS if we can swing it.

hb hope you're doing ok. Can't be too long until your scan - next week some time?

How's everyone else?

Barking a Victoria sponge sounds perfect for testing the new oven. You can't go wrong with the old classics. Hope you enjoyed it. And while we are on the topic of baking Tiger did you say you were making lemon and polenta cake? What recipe did you use?

I love the idea of a berry badge Barking. It could be very discrete and in the shape of a berry and would definitely fast track us to appointments.

Rain it's great that you have a date in the diary. There is something about starting IVF which is a big mental stumbling block, as if it makes the infertility part real, but I found that feeling disappeared once I'd made the firm decision to get going with the treatment.

That sounds like a very productive appointment with the consultant Spare. I can see where he's coming from in saying that your score rate with IVF suggests it is still the right route. And it's good that they will give you the Doxycycline you want and very interesting that even the worst cases get a 14 day course max. The annoying thing is that we have no way of knowing who is right or wrong about these things. The genetic screening sounds like an excellent idea - shame it's so pricey! I hear you on the disappointment of having to spend money on fertility treatment Tiger - my bank account is totally I've it too.

How are you doing HB? How is your head doing at the moment - so unfair that the stress never seems to end for us long term TTCers.

Beaky - how are you doing? How long do we have to wait to find out? Did you decide whether to test yourself or wait for the FC? You're the one who's been through the most, so your vote should count more than DH's.

For those discussing lead follicles, Lucie and...?, I was given oeastregen priming (aka Primolut) to encourage the follies to grow in a close cohort. Might be worth looking into.

Quiet weekend here, DH is off to a conference tomorrow and then it's gardening on Sunday. We're creating a seating area in the bit of the garden which gets the evening sun, I'm imagining lots of al fresco dining.

Lucie I'd hang on for the plan til after your next cycle and fx you won't need it. There are other meditations you can get online too I think. I do love the catching rainbows lady's voice though!

Barking that is my favourite cake! You are hardcore not having anything, although I had some lorazepam I was nearly in tears with the pain and gasped each time the biopsy sounds horrendous.

Spare I've heard of the chromosomal screening, apparently they've been using in some American clinics for a while, how expensive though what are you leaning towards? When will you find out about the egg sharing?

HB how are you? Do you have a scan next week?

Tiger I hope you do get another NHS round. Will you go abroad if you have to fund it?

Thanks for the info re lead follies/oestrogen priming - I was going to research it to see if would help my initial poor response. Not long til otd, I divvent na what to do. Am nervous and lack a bit of hope. Maybe I'll just let the clinic do it. I'll be at work when they ring though. I love a bit of al fresco dining! Can't wait til I'm in my own house, this has been so stressful.

I massively lost my rag earlier, had a shit day at work and then the puppy had peed on the bed waaaaaa I really lost it then afterwards just wanted to cry.

Can the berry badge fast track me to otd please?

Oops 3rd last para for Wild!

Love it wild, a little berry pin badge . We could have a tiny cluster of different berrys . I've always loved a juicy backberry and raspberry mix .

Ooo, raspberry flan.... Damn, I was going to make the Nigeria Lawman Chocolate Clementine cake (it's wheat free) but it's going to be a battle now...

beaky sending strength! I pimped on the morning of otd, so I wasn't testing early but didn't have to wait for the phone result. Oh, and the lack of sedation - not my choice!!! The biopsy was indeed horrific, apparently the scratch is nowhere near as bad as they don't have to target a particular area and it's just a scratch then it's done, while this was obviously a lot more drawn out!

Off to see my dad later. He's not doing so well. The chest infection hasn't shifted with antibiotics so the doctor is worried it's respiratory issues . He's on diuretics and intravenious feed. He loves his food, that's going to be really upsetting him. And all this started with just a broken hip, all this other stuff seems more related to the MSA, which is really scary.

Sorry your dad isn't doing so well Barking. Bugs such as MSA seem surprisingly common in hospitals and can do such damage. Hope he starts to feel better soon.

I am starting to get a bit overwhelmed by all the drugs I'm taking. Luckily the antibiotics are now finished with, so that's one less thing to think about. DH found a faded Progynova pill on the bathroom floor. It must have fallen out of the old fanjo in the bath or shower - I didn't tell him where it had come from.

ET will be sometime around the 17th, fingers crossed. Could you wise Berries advise me on the 2ww post IVF. I want to be mentally prepared sit in the sauna drinking gin while I still can. And can anyone share a good meditation track? I've got a Maggie Howell one but would like another for choice.

Something modest like this from Tiffany's for the berry badge, no?

And Beaky it is bound to be stressful going through your cycle with all the added pressure of low AMH, worrying whether it will work and what to do f it doesn't, living in someone else's house and stupid work on top of that, never mind the dog wee. Go easy on yourself please.

Oo Barking both sound lovely! at Nigeria Lawman! So sorry to hear your dad isn't recovering very quickly, broken hips often do kick off other things apparently but I am sending a big hug and hopefully he will get home really soon. Thanks for the strength, I think that will be what I do, pimp that morning then at least I'll be prepared for the call.

Wild very nice pin badges there! And so modest I'm not surprised you are a bit overwhelmed with all if the drugs, it must be so difficult. I have to set reminders to take my cyclogest! Lol at the one your dh found I'd say for the 2ww, really fill up your time so you always have something you can do or are looking forward to. I feel really crampy today and had an awful upset stomach last night, I keep thinking AF is on the way, but that would be unusually early anyway.

Hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend!

beaky what a stressful day! I had plenty of tears at the end of my 2ww and I think it's quite normal. Naughty beaky-pup! Hope you're hanging on in there. Not sure about going abroad yet, but we've rejigged our finances to make sure we have funds to pay for at least one round privately.

I do nigella's lemon almond and polenta cake wild as it uses less eggs. I'm trying to find lower fat/sugar cakes though, think I might do a gluten free carrot cake but fiddle to create my own recipe. I think it's hard for carrot cake to go too wrong (famous last words!)

Also wild I have pm'd you about tracks for 2ww. I need a berry badge to get me back on track with appointments and progress.

Barking sorry to hear about your dad. Hope he's doing ok. You're not really selling the biopsy experience to me but I think I'll go for it anyway. Clementine cake on the other hand sounds amazing! I also fancy making cornbread.

Hope everyone else is ok. Quiet weekend for us, just pottering around the house and getting a few jobs done. Glad about that to be honest, we've been really busy and sociable for a couple of weeks and I just fancy hiding!

wild for the 2ww keep as busy as possible! I have the Lucy coffin meditation tracks, and I had some hypnotherapy sessions which were recorded and I have the tracks from those as well, pm me your email address if you want either!
I think you're thinking of MRSA. MSA is multiple systems atrophy, it's a condition similar to the parkinsons in the early stages, the body just shuts down. Fine motor control, mobility, speech, then everything goes wrong internally as well .

Had a nightmare being at the hospital this afternoon. Not only does my previously strong, fit and active father look like a 100 year old with a tiny, frail body, I struggled yet again to walk through the corridor of signs 'ultrasound', 'pregnancy assessment', 'delivery suite' etc etc. Then past the happy couple taking baby home, and visiting dads, and all the posters about everything baby and pregnancy related. And once on the ward with my dad, can you fucking believe it, the bloke in the bes next door is visited by his granddaughter who had brought her tiny, tiny baby to see great grandad. And I was already upset enough at the though that my Dad will never get to hold his first grandchild. I couldn't deal with it, just sat there crying. Fortunately Dh kept talking and dad didn't have his glasses on so didn't notice.

beaky/tiger I hadn't even noticed that autocorrect! Ended up staying at my mum's to look after the kids so she could visit this evening without having to take them so no baking for me today. Baking tomorrow after a bike ride!

Aww Barking what a shit day. I hope you managed to get a little glass of gin/prosecco tonight when you got back. Hugs

barking. That sounds so tough. Hope you're feeling better today and your dad is doing ok. Have you baked your cake yet? I made cornbread this morning for the first time and it was lovely. Defintely going to make it again as a gluten free alternative to bread.

Hope everyone is enjoying glorious weather this weekend. Really wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow!

Thanks minx, yeah Thursday. I am all over the place and feel anxious and really down. It's probably all the many hormones getting to me.

Cornbread sounds nice Tiger was easy to make?

Sorry that things are so tough Barking sending lots of berry hugs and strength.

Tiger where did you get your recipie from for the corn bread? Sounds lovely.

Beaky I'm keeping everything crossed for you; hormones are a bugger and have you not knowing if you're coming or going!

Viability scan is on Wednesday so trying to keep it together until then. Then we're going to have to get a wiggle on and book our holiday; DH and I have two weeks off from the end of the week.

Hope all berries had a good weekend and enjoyed the sunshine

So sorry you're feeling down beaky. Paw squeeze from me. Corn bread was a doddle, recipe from the fab Huw Fearnley-Whittingstall.

Oh Barking that sounds like a nightmare trip to the hospital. The whole grandchild thing is just heartbreaking to hear about. . And you're right, I was thinking of MRSA. Your poor dad, that sounds awful. Tough times for you all.

Tiger I made the lemon and polenta cake you recommended, delicious. Took me ages to find the polenta at the supermarket though, finally found it in the pasta section. I don't think I've ever tried cornbread, not even sure what it's like. We are big into rye bread at the moment, we've cut back on our gluten consumption after being inspired by my detox diet recipes. I couldn't cut it out completely though, I don't know how you do it.

Hormones Beaky, blame the hormones.

Exciting times HB. Can't wait to hear your undoubtedly good news later in the week. Keep us up to date please. How are you feeling physically?

bleeding. Gutted.