Candle smugglers of the world unite! The Berries have loaded up the charabanc and have Barry on repeat. Destination BFP (via the pouch of Douglas)

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy

Current passengers

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSIs. Hopefully FET early May with only frostie. Long awaited NHS appt in June
Beaky 35, ttc coming up 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1x long protocol ivf cancelled due to poor response. On the pill awaiting short protocol IVF in may
Minx, 34, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF info evening June, IVF "booking in" appointment in July
Nolly, 33, TTC 2.7 years, mc Dec 2014. awaiting ivf August 2015 while dh is off on a jolly.
Wild 40 - TTC for three years. Embies on ice and planning FET with immune treatment in June.
HampshireBlues 36 TTC 3.5 years, unexplained. Cycle 1 chemical pregnancy, cycle 2 abandoned due to cyst, cycle 3 failed. Plan thrombotic profile, scratch and short protocol.
Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle in the summer.
Tigerdog, 34 ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained and all test results good. Currently in the middle of long protocol IVF, 13 eggs collected and awaiting news for next steps.
Gillster, 41, TTC since Feb 2012. Had IVF in Feb 14 and had 6 one cell embies frozen due to polyp. 2 x 2 day embies finally put back 14 months later on 16th April, BFP 28th April
Smidge, 39 this month, TTC since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF#1 Short protocol July '14 BFN, IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb '15 both Long protocol BFNs. High NK cells immune treatment. 2 frosties due to be put back in natural FET in May or June.
Kuma - 40. TTC 2.5 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15. Looking to change clinic and try another natural cycle in June 2015.
Lucieloos, 35, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. 1st ICSI in Czech Republic in April 2015. Awaiting results.
Barkingtreefrog, 35, ttc since Dec 2011. Clomid bfp summer 2013, mc @ 7 weeks. IUI bfp summer 2014, mc @ 7 weeks. Diagnosed with factor v leiden thrombophilia (but
not thought to be the cause of the mc's as they were too early). Failed IUI January 2015, failed IVF March 2015. No further NHS help. Going private for nk cells testing and a scratch before putting the frosties back, hopefully this summer.
Rain, 33 ttc since March 2012. unexplained. mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. NHS IVF starting in June
Spare planning FET with remaining frosties shortly
Pont 1st IVF in Czech Republic in July.

So much easier said than done, tiger but do try not to worry - different tests will give different results and so much depends on how much you've drunk, time of day etc. There is a lot of variation. Totally with you on the "how ARE you [sadfass]" - well, i was fine until someone just REMINDED me that my life is completely empty until i pushed a mini me out my foof, THANKS.

barking you are basically my hero. I completely agree with what you wrote about stigma and shame, but it takes a lot of courage to walk the talk. Respect. I could do with a berricade to take around with me sometimes. Next step: uniforms. or at the very least matching lycra.

come on beaky's ovaries! ALthough they've got a lot to live up to with all your acrobatics :)

lucie glad to se you picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. Who knows why it sometimes fails and sometimes works - it is a numbers game and sadly there are usually no answers. Bit surprised by what your dr said to be honest, but what do I know. anyway - onwards and upwards.

excellent news that you might be able to crack on so soon funky. You sounds v good indeed. Jealous of your hol.

wang for you smidge :)

Minx sorry about the annnouncements. You know I had one last week - stupid cow friend? she actually send around a news story today about a woman who gave birth on a plane not realising she was pregnant. FFS - that would be bliss. Why can't all these bastards just bastard off.

HB that is great news, congrats! hope your pencil shavings (too random?) are nestling down beautifully in their cryochamber.

will miss you gil. Come and visit!

Pip i had my first GoT dream the other day, how dorky is that. I'm only on season 2, no spoilers pls. but

Discovered the way to do this is have 2 windows open otherwise I forget everything. Busy thread.

In my world, swarthy builders have today completed bathroom, much happiness here so I can finally have a shower. WOO HOO. In other news, put in my second formal complaint against boss but managed to write the email in such as way as it bascially signed off going OOOh feel the burn, fuckity bye. So that was fun :) (actually was quite fun). I'm 14dpo here and in no way fantasising about being ironidiffed while DP away. Sigh....

Now I can't stop imaging a Veh Post maternity unit. This isn't just any maternity ward. This is 5*, luxury maternal goddess retreat. Have your extremities gently massaged by slaves as you birth your rainbow.

Also spare your 'private work on the side' thing reminded me of something a PA once said to me about her boss, a gynecologist. Me:Oh, i didn't realise he still practised. Oh yes, says she, he still dabbles. I accidentally spat out a bit of tea on her. Of course whenever i saw him at work after that I had a mental image of him dabbling in some gynes.

Nolly, what bit were you surprised about from my doctor?

Tiger, if I were you I would pick one brand (preferably a frer) and stick to it. Different tests are going to have different sensitivities and so the lines are all going to look different. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Spare, so glad your appt went well today and there is very little chance of the same happening again with another baby. Really rooting for you with your fet.

Minx, sorry about all the announcements, it's never easy. My best friend is due to give birth next week. I always thought I would be pregnant by now so it is hard even though I am happy for her.

Smidge, what are the intralipids for? Is it NK cells?

Happy, so sorry to hear of your bfn. Sending you big hugs. What is the next step now? Will you have any more testing done for immunes etc?

Gil, brilliant news on the scan, hope you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy

surprised that she offered those reasons for failed implantation, lucie - don't think there's a huge amount of evidence about causes of implantation failure. and i think it's easy to find things to worry about (speaking personally)

Ah yes nolly I asked for her opinion on what the cause was and she said maybe a little bit to do with lower egg quality. I tend to agree with her though as something like 90% of failures are due to the embryo not being viable. There are lots of others reasons too though of course so I suppose she just took an educated guess.

Beaky urgh thats frustrating, I tried a to call today but it was probably a little late in the day Ill get on the phone to them first thing Monday morning. Im pom poming your eggs too, although maybe I need to learn the chants and stuff first :) am no way up to a pyramid

Minx Im East (ish) London based. I generally think there should be one guideline that every PCT follows the postcode lottery is a little rubbish. Sorry about the announcements they are really tough to deal with :(

spare Glad you got through OK. Hope the weekend brings you some relaxation (after the dildo cam that is)

Tiger Hoping for a nice strong positive for you tomorrow.

Nolly Ive just stolen your idea and now have extra windows open too, great idea :) GoT is just amazing :) I really love it, Have you read the books ? re the gyne's PA just be grateful she didn't say 'he likes to keep his hand in' snarf. She may have ended up wearing more than a little tea :)

You berries have me in stitches sometimes! Nolly I'm imagining an amazing FC ran by M&S! I am jealous of your new bathroom, we got keys today but won't be habitable for sometime. Need my own swarthy builders! and BURN to the idiot boss haha. Let's set the motherfucker gene on him totally imagining a pacman type thing chasing him and trying to eat him up at the gyno dabbling/hand in. I often wonder what the dildocammers say they do down the pub on a Friday night. "Er yeah, I spend my day using a big probe...." We only have one female dildocammer at our FC too sorry minx should have told you that earlier so it's pretty much always a man.

Thanks for the pompoming and support, Forty you can make up any old routines really we all wave out pompoms for the important times though. Definitely try and get your FC to book you in for an HSG ASAP if you can.

Did someone ask for a runners and riders list?

Pipbin - Mother of Berries

On the racecourse:
HB - PUPO, OTD 25th May
Beaky (head cheerleader) - 3rd day of stims on SP IVF, scan Monday

Limbering up in the parade ground:
Spare - scan tomorrow to see if womble is think enough for a FET
Smidge & Wild - limbering up for a June FET
Rain & Lumen - limbering up for June IVF
Kuma - consultant appointment on Mon to discuss natural cycle IVF in June

Relaxing in the stables:
Lucie - going to try 2nd round IVF in Czech in July
Barking - awaiting NK cell investigations before hopefully commencing FET in August
Nolly (resident Berry comedienne) - dealing with swarthy Colombian builders whilst DH saves the world, hopefully doing IVF in Aug
Happy - contemplating next steps, NHS IVF appointment in June
Minx - IVF booking appointment in July
Funky - hoping to do a FET in July/Aug
Forty - awaiting more tests, IVF referral in progress

Hiding behind the sofa in Berry HQ:
Tiger & Gillster

Phew it's posted! I did a list this afternoon, dropped my phone whilst reviewing and lost everything. I could have cried. Currently in the big smoke ready to catch the Eurostar tomorrow for my non-cycling holiday in South of France.

Glad it went as well as can be expected today Spare, it does sound as if it was an incredibly unfortunate one off occurrence. Hope your scan goes well tomorrow.

Nolly - you've been on cracking form today lady!

Beaky - keeping everything crossed for some lovely follie action by Monday and hope you are able to get into your new house soon.

Hugs to you Happy. It really should be your turn by now. Hope the NHS get their arses in gear and you can get going again (if you want to).

Sending positive implantation vibes to HB.

Handholding for Tiger too in this mental time. Stick with the same test and use FMU tomorrow.

Hello to everyone else. May be incommunicado for the next week as not sure what reception I'll have. Will be thinking of you all though and will try and catch up if I can. X

Fantastic list Gill thank you! Have a lovely non cycling time on holiday and keep in touch where you can

Tested this morning and the positives are very faint even on a frer and the IC is negative. I suspect if I stop the progesterone I'd start bleeding soon enough. I'd tested to check the trigger was out of my system after 10 days or so, so this must be a chemical. Gutted.

Can you get a blood test Tiger and see if the HCG is doubling every 48 hours, just to be sure? I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Even different batches of the same test can have different dye levels though

Tiger will your clinic do a blood test? They can look at your hcg levels to see how viable the pg is (that's what mine do anyway) and then if there are any concerns they can repeat the test to see if the levels are rising.
Testing everyday is going to send you insane my love, they're not necessarily going to get stronger as each test even taken on the same day could show a different strength line.

Great minds Barking!

No they don't barking, which is so frustrating. I might get one done privately as it seems ridiculous to keep on with this charade until scan in 3 weeks. The tests are pretty much negative to the untrained eye, with just a whisper of a line compared with a much stronger line on Wednesday and Thursday. I really don't think this is going anywhere.

Would your EPU do a test Tiger?

Not sure gill. I also work on the same site as an EPU that accepts self referrals in London so perhaps I can try them on Monday. I really have no hope though, it would just be confirmation. I've had menacing low back pain for the last 24 hours too. Fuck it.

Aw Tiger I have everything crossed for you. I'm so sorry you're having all this shitty stress will your GP maybe do bloods for you? Tons of hugs and arm rubs to you x

tiger
I had the faintest of faintest lines with 4 FRERs for 2 weeks, so don't panic.
Is the EPU open over the weekend? Hand holding for you

big hug for you tiger can you call gp? maybe you can get an emergency referral

Oh no Tiger. Hope you are wrong about this. Getting a blood test is a good idea and will give you some clarity. Thinking of you. Get yourself some cake.

Oh Tiger I'm so very sorry that you're having such a stressful time. Hope you get some reassurance soon. Keeping everything crossed for you.
For the first time in almost 3 years I've totally lost track of the thread. . The runners and riders gives a great snapshot though, thanks Gill and hope you have a lovely, relaxing holiday.
HB I completely missed you becoming PUPO. Congratulations lady! Will be pom pomming away for you. How many did you get put back??
Forty Six so sorry for not welcoming you sooner. Hope you've made yourself at home. You are completely in the right place.
I pimped again this morning to confirm the BFN. Realised last night that OTD is actually Monday not tomorrow by which time I'd be a ludicrous 13dp5dt. The fact that AF hasn't shown her face when I was told it probably would is a total headfuck. Stopping the meds today though as fed up of being a moody mare with waxy pants. DH been away since early Weds and not back til late tomorrow so only just broke the bad news to him over the phone. We had a long chat about the way forward and agree that if we throw any more cash at this it'll be for donor egg/embryo abroad.
Hope everyone else is ok. Just off to meet my Mum for lunch. Have a lovely Saturday all.

Happy sorry about the bfn for you. My clinic test at 12dp5dt so feel like I have a long way to go.

Tiger sorry that you are having such a stressful time, I hope that you can get some firm answers soon.

Glad that your appointment went better than you thought Spare and that you can go into your next treatment cycle with a clear head.

I need a wang berries, I've just pent the last two hours hysterically crying. Just like the last cycles but so much earlier than my last cycles. I'm trying to find every reason that I can for blaming this on but am really struggling.....my body couldn't have written this cycle after only three days can it? What else could be causing this emotional swing? Could it be the follicles associated with the OHSS. OTD feels like such a long time away!

big hugs for you happy. Hope you're ok and that you have a nice time with your mum today. .

hb hugs and handholds for you. It sounds like a normal part of the terrifying 2ww to feel down especially with all these drugs in your system....one day at a time. and .

It being Saturday, I don't think I would have been able to get a blood test and same day results easily, so I'll go to the EPU at work on Monday and ask for a blood test. I doubt they'd class it as an emergency at my local EPU. No bleeding or cramping, just a dull ache in my lower back. I'm not hopeful. Everything I've about read similar situations points to a chemical. Hiding in bed. Mr T has gone completely silent. Just to add to the self pity, my mum has just sent me a text telling me that my cousin is being induced today....like I give a fuck that my 23 year old unemployed cousin is having a second child. Cheers mum! I expect my brother will be on the phone next to tell me all about their 12 week scan!

Sorry to be so miserable and thanks for all your kind words and support.