Candle smugglers of the world unite! The Berries have loaded up the charabanc and have Barry on repeat. Destination BFP (via the pouch of Douglas)

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy

Current passengers

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSIs. Hopefully FET early May with only frostie. Long awaited NHS appt in June
Beaky 35, ttc coming up 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1x long protocol ivf cancelled due to poor response. On the pill awaiting short protocol IVF in may
Minx, 34, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF info evening June, IVF "booking in" appointment in July
Nolly, 33, TTC 2.7 years, mc Dec 2014. awaiting ivf August 2015 while dh is off on a jolly.
Wild 40 - TTC for three years. Embies on ice and planning FET with immune treatment in June.
HampshireBlues 36 TTC 3.5 years, unexplained. Cycle 1 chemical pregnancy, cycle 2 abandoned due to cyst, cycle 3 failed. Plan thrombotic profile, scratch and short protocol.
Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle in the summer.
Tigerdog, 34 ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained and all test results good. Currently in the middle of long protocol IVF, 13 eggs collected and awaiting news for next steps.
Gillster, 41, TTC since Feb 2012. Had IVF in Feb 14 and had 6 one cell embies frozen due to polyp. 2 x 2 day embies finally put back 14 months later on 16th April, BFP 28th April
Smidge, 39 this month, TTC since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF#1 Short protocol July '14 BFN, IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb '15 both Long protocol BFNs. High NK cells immune treatment. 2 frosties due to be put back in natural FET in May or June.
Kuma - 40. TTC 2.5 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15. Looking to change clinic and try another natural cycle in June 2015.
Lucieloos, 35, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. 1st ICSI in Czech Republic in April 2015. Awaiting results.
Barkingtreefrog, 35, ttc since Dec 2011. Clomid bfp summer 2013, mc @ 7 weeks. IUI bfp summer 2014, mc @ 7 weeks. Diagnosed with factor v leiden thrombophilia (but
not thought to be the cause of the mc's as they were too early). Failed IUI January 2015, failed IVF March 2015. No further NHS help. Going private for nk cells testing and a scratch before putting the frosties back, hopefully this summer.
Rain, 33 ttc since March 2012. unexplained. mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. NHS IVF starting in June
Spare planning FET with remaining frosties shortly
Pont 1st IVF in Czech Republic in July.

Spare that's perfect thank you. :) I'm wondering if I can add this to my CV languages spoken English French and Berries ;)

So that's where elderberry pavlova comes from!!

Can my new title be Mother of Dragons Berries please?

Spare I'll definitely be there with my leotard and fire batons as part of the berricade

Tiger definitely hang around!

forty have you had an HSG to check your tubes are clear? Or a lap &dye?

Pip that's a great title

Happy how's things? Are you testing yet? I'm crossing everything for you

I'm in my cheerleading costume for the berricade but I refuse to be the one underneath Beaky while she's playing with fire. Not that I don't trust you, beaky love.....

Thinking of you today Spare

Thanks to those berries who've said I seem more positive again, I feel fully back on the yellow brick road, it's just got a bit longer with a bit of a hill in the middle section. Keep forgetting to temp but I'm only cd10 so still a long way from Ov, if I start tomorrow I'll still have done enough to catch the temp rise to confirm the opk so I can call the hospital. I'm even feeling positive that the universe will align in order for me to have the biopsy this month!

Morning Berries. Apologies for being absent, my feet have literally not touched the floor this week.
Just had a quick scan through and had to pop in to say Spare you can have all the Berry love my darling. What you're going through is the cruellest of the cruel and we all think you're coping amazingly well. Will be thinking of you today

Thanks for all the pom pomming ladies but I got a BFN 2 days ago. I know you're all going to shout 'it's too early to test' but I've been round these parts way too long to still have any hope. Will keep up with the meds though and test again on OTD which is Sunday. Feel absolutely fine about it though, it does actually get easier to deal with once you've been there a few times.
Have a great day all. Will catch up properly this evening when hopefully I'll have a spare moment.

So sorry happy . I'm going to keep quietly pom poming for you anyway, and send good luck for Sunday.

spare what a terrible thing to have to go through. I hope the dread will be worse than reality... but truly can't imagine what you are feeling. will be thinking of you today.

really sorry happy however accustomed to disappointment it's still hard.

hi everyone else. laters...

Oh happy my love. Lots of hugs and for you.
You sound like you are being very brave, but be kind to yourself.

I'm sorry happy but will still keep hoping for Sunday for you just in case. I really thought this would be the one for you.

Love the positivity barking let's hope the universe is aligning nicely.

I tested today using a cheap test meant for first day of missed period. The line was so faint I thougt it was bfn to start with. Queue mad panic. Did another one and that was faint too. Totally bricking it that this is a chemical pg now. it really doesn't get any easier.

*cue even. Argh brain meltdown!

Good morning I hope today finds you all as well as can be expected ?

Beaky I haven't had either of those procs yet.
Should I expect to have them ?

I'm going to a discussion group with the clinic soon to ask questions so I'll make sure to ask then. I'm mostly confused about the whole thing as the documentation from them states that second meeting is to follow up to discuss test results and agree a treatment path and funding, however under one of the flow chart options for this meeting it says no treatment at present and further investigations needed (I guess this could be where they ask for those tests ?)

Wow it's busy in here

A bit more hand-holding from me spare. That sounds horrible, no wonder you have been blocking it out from your mind. But maybe some useful information will come out of it that will help reveal a more appropriate, specific protocol for you for next time.

I'm really sorry to hear your news happy. I'm impressed with your strength, but am sending and for use if/when you have a sudden low moment.

Oh Gill much as I'm thrilled you don't need to be here anymore, I am mightily disappointed from a selfish perspective. We will miss you. Any chance you could give us one more runners and riders list before you head off?

Tiger get yourself a FRER so you can pack that anxiety off!!

Happy I'm so sorry lovely, I will continue to keep my fingers crossed for you too it's so hard this business eh.

Spare thinking of you and sending all the love your way today

Tiger what are you using? Super drugs own are very sensitive and quite cheap, sending a big hug of reassurance your way.

Barking you definitely sound more positive, we will all get there, we just need to keep on the YBR! How's your MrB dealing with everything?

Forty yes you definitely need one or the other ASAP to see if your tubes are clear, if they were blocked for example, you would have to go straight to IVF as no eggs can get through in the first place. I'd ring up and ask about it today, your FC sound very pedestrian.

I'm swinging from mad panic that I'm not going to get any eggs and supreme calmness that what will be will be. Quite bizarre really!

As for me, I have been doing the dance of the OPK. Pretty badly actually, leaving my sticks in the pot for way longer than I'm meant to - do you think that will have affected the result? Pah anyway, it's not for a natural attempt of course (as if that would ever happen ) but to try to work out when my next cycle will begin. Typically I seem to have peaked 2 days earlier than last month, meaning my required Day 10 Intralipid infusion will fall just when MrSmidge and I are in Tasmania for a long weekend. Grrr... I had thought that with my 33 day cycle, it wouldn't matter much if the II need a better abbreviation for intralipid infusion was a bit late, but my last couple of months of peesticks has suggested that it's actually my luteal phase is the extended part. (Maybe that's why I spot for so long before AF).

Anyway, as ever, I am getting anxious about second guessing my cycle which never does any good. I might need a wang from the berries.

Well that is over with. Long and short of it is it was a total freak event, nothing to do with it being an IVF conception, nothing to do with icsi and chances of it happening again are 2% in the absence of knowing what caused it this time, and in all likelihood, lower than that.
If we wanted to go back there for maternity (which DH is adament we won't be!), I would be consultant led and being scanned every few weeks but other than that, we can get on with it.
We told him about the FET on Monday or Tuesday, and he wished us luck and said he wants to see us back sooner rather than later. he is also the doc who delivered a certain famous baby recently and DH said ok the way out it was weird looking at him knowing he had seen a certain famous fanny. Idiot

We waited in the gynae waiting area, which is screened off from the maternity one. It was obvious who was there for the same reason as us because they were a couple compared to the women there on their own.
But what put it into perspective was the woman ahead of us at reception who said she was there for the FGM clinic. Totally grim

A massive thank you for your amazing support. I was re-reading the thread while sat in the waiting ro and it reeeally helped. Thanks x
So onwards and upwards for dildocam tomorrow and hopefully all systems go for next week

spare that doesn't sound too unbearable and great that there is no underlying issue or anything- and at least you know you're tw*t-twins with HRH :)

Spare big hug. And omg the horror re the FGM clinic also yes, he has seen the royal babymaker bits ha. And how posh are you please?!

Minx thanks, I know I really ought to get down...

Smidge hmm how long does that mean your LP is? What will you have to do re your intralipid infusion?

Hope everyone else is ok and looking forward to the weekend.

So glad that it was ok at the FC Spare. And it sounds as if you had quite good news from them.

Hahah Nolly tw*t-twins!

And yes Beaky I think it's safer if you get down now.

Aw spare I'm glad that you got through such a difficult session and got some answers. Fingers crossed for the next scan. Lol at famous fanny .

smidge have a wang from me and I'll wang myself whilst I'm at it. Bloody inconvenient bodies. hopefully your cycle will fall neatly into place, if not would you wait until the following month?

Minx a good cry is a necessity sometimes. Announcements are so hard to bear. and to get you through. I think no caffeine is a pretty common suggestion. I think no more than 2 cups of coffee or tea (200mg) is recommend by the NHS. I avoid caffeine but do have the odd decaf (which still has caffeine but less than 30mg) and my chocolate consumption probably also gives me a bit!

Beaky I'm cheering you on and willing on the egg production. Everything crossed. Totally normal to feel like you do. I would say that it is out of your hands now, but I know that makes no difference to the stress levels. We're here for you. X

Test was called acutest. Not used them before. Am in a downward spiral of worry - thinking I've picked up a chemical by testing 2 days early. Have frer, clear blue digi, IC and boots own as well as the hospital test at home poas addict so if necessary I can try them all. I was feeling ok yesterday, one day at a time etc and now I'm just worrying like mad.

Veh veh posh, obviously!
(It was an NHS hospital! He just does private royal work on the side)

He must be really sought after!

Tiger hand hold from me lovely. Stick with the spensive tests tomorrow. I'm sure all will be fine. Thank you for the support as well, next scan is Monday so not long to wait really.

wild, I've got down

Minx sorry I forgot to send a hug for the awful preggo announcements. Had a couple myself recently and it's a kicker.

Happy weekend berries!