Our new greeting cards are here! We're making vaginal butter and baking in a sneaky shag from behind. Our skittletits can't hold us back - it's JS'ing 43!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

The link to Part 42 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2342663-We-let-our-miroids-tie-us-up-and-pee-while-were-in-the-tub-and-the-grads-often-visit-so-we-can-give-their-bumps-a-rub-Weve-a-syncro-pee-approaching-so-heres-hoping-for-a-BFP-filled-JS-No-42?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2344912-Our-super-healthy-fanjos-just-love-getting-their-five-a-day-but-we-draw-the-line-at-frozen-poopsicles-Were-the-25th-JS-Grads" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

OK, not read back but I need you're help! I poas at about 8.30 this morning with unicorn. Left to take dh to work at 8.40. He said he couldn't see anything. I thought I could see a squinter than squinty shadow but didn't say that to him. Got home at 9.15 and it looks like this. Looks more grey than pink in RL though. What do we think? And no congrats please, I'm only 13dpo and in denial that this is even possible. And its great so probably an evap. I have a frer but can't decide when to do it.

Piss on the frer lil

just that looks like a line to me get yourself a frer and report back!

lil who knows after the time frame but a frer is what you need........ Gx!!

Good PMA black ;)

aux it's possible to get upduffed with a short LP. Implantation can occur as early as 5DPO though more commonly at 7DPO. And my LP extended two days this cycle. It's so frustrating and disheartening but honestly it is going in the right direction. Remember BC pills give you artificial hormones to prevent pregnancy. Those hormones can remain in your body for a long time. And they all act to amend your cycles. Do you want to be adding more hormones and drugs on top of what your body is trying to filter out?

I'm the worlds worst hypocrite because I was so tempted to try soy or b6 complex but after listening to the wisdom of the two "L's" I decided to wait a few months. I'm glad I did because my body is moving in the right direction albeit slowly but I don't know what effect taking the drugs would have had. I would give it 6 months of TTC. If your LP isn't over 10 days then look at b6 complex (I don't think soy will help in the slightest by the way).

Sorry for the long rant I just really can sympathise with you. It's so frustrating but you will get there soon!

Pee on a FRER lil.

no, can't poafrer until dh is here, and I get a better line on an ic. Im too tight to waste a frer on a bfn!

aux jelly is right. soy makes you ovulate earlier, it doesn't change lp. i think b6 complex is what you need if you do decide to try something but check with la. I took soy and it made my already long cycles longer because I was taking it wrong it actually delayed ovulation.

oh and the line has now disappeared!

Loads to catch up on.

Right in answer to the questions...

Do you POAS every month or only when you have symptoms/are late?
i got a bfp in my first month when I was two days late but went on to MC. I intend not to POAS this month tbh, as don't want the disappointment.

Do people in RL know that you're trying?
yes but not because we announced we're trying. Aforementioned miscarriage means it won't come as a shock unlike last time around

Is life going on as usual until the positive test? E.g. Still drinking alcohol
yes. I tend to only drink when out of the house socially so if I have plans, I'm sticking with them. That said, I went out on Sunday and the alcohol wasn't going down well at all

I take folic acid. I have done even since the MC

Thank you so much for all the advice re: trying after loss. It has really helped. I know there are trying after MC Freds but it's better to have mentors through the other side I think.

Congrats justtheone

lil sorry you're having a head fuck of a morning. Can you do something to distract yourself?

Who is the oracle on pant snot and the like? I thought I'd already ovulated. We've been shaggging EOD. I have had crampy feelings since Sunday which i assume to be ovulation. We DTD last night. This morning I am leaking snot.

Posted too early. I have my own damp patch and leaked a bit when I got up. Wtf is this?

sounds like leftover jizz juice stoat, you need to do the tissue test.

What's the tissue test?

Congrats Just, I knew you would be

lil it looks promising, get a better stick? I'm ignoring your last post

That's what I thought about soy - it's meant to shorten FP, but I haven't heard of any effects on LP.

I know it's not the same, but when your periods come back postpartum if you are still breastfeeding, you will sometimes go through "luteual incompetence" stage, meaning you are icing, but have a short LP. Happened to me, my LP was 7-8 days, with very short 21-24 days cycles. Or maybe I should say 24-21 as they were getting shorter every months! I thought wtf, but then 3 or 4 cycles later, a 29 day cycle (cue frantical pissing on all sticks in sight) and normal LP.

I know it's not the same, but it's actually very similar, as it's hormone-induced infertility too, just natural hormones as opposed to artificial ones, but it still takes time to get the, out your system.

Keep faith in your corpus luteum, it's been drugged up for such a long time, it needs some time to come to its senses!

Morning all!

Name:sky
Age: 33
DCs: DD4 and DSD5
TTC: 5 March

Thinking of changing name to falsealarm or nothing to see here... I'm the one with the evap lines and false positives... Currently nursing skittletits and waiting not at all patiently for Friday when AF is due.

Friends and family IRL know we are trying on my side. DP prefers to ambush his side of the family with foregone conclusions. Am taking super vits for my health, switching to prenatal version when the current bottle empty - tomorrow I think. Don't usually drink more than a glass of wine with dinner as alcohol makes me very ill.

On another note Lars and the Real Girl is my fave film. It was shot a few towns away from where I grew up and that is what life is really like there! I get a bit homesick when I watch it. Fun fact: ryan Gosling kept Bianca and she has her own room in his house.

PS just thats a beaut of a line!

lil casually optimistic for you. Can you try another IC?

Oh and I am 36! Ha! I wish I was 33 again less pressure for my eggs

Poafrer tomorrow with your unicorn then lil what time does AF normally arrive for you? The only other option would be more IC's. It's hard but there is definitely a line there, and if you think you saw something first time.......

As always there's a billion of new posts appearing by the time I hit "post" on mine.

Stoat jizz soaks into a tissue, EWCM doesn't. That's the tissue test.

Oh I see! Well I've showered now and am shagging regardless, probably tomorrow now, maybe tonight, we'll see. It's hard to keep my head though. I definitely felt implantation last time so it's hard when I'm getting ovulation cramps not to wonder if it's the same again, though I'm so unconvinced it will happen soon I don't brood on it too much. Hooyah to myself!

stoat same has happened to me, according to CBFM I iced on Friday yet until yesterday I was getting ewcm I'm pretty sure it wasn't jizz the same happened last month when my LT went from 11/12 days to 14 que head fuck and lots of pissing on sticks this month I added two extra shags at 1dpo and 3dpo. Today I am either 4dpo don't think so or 1dpo, more likely.

Next month not that that is happening as I will be upduffed this month I am going contraband free

yay just I had a feeling :) no idea what a line on an IC should look like, but everyone else says yes, so get that FRER weed on!

sickness increasing, but boobs feeling v un-skittletits-ish

fluff i found pesimism, no temping/charting, possession of zero sticks and lots of shagging to be a good formula for getting bfp

stoat ewcm sits on top of tissue and stretches between it or between you fingers if you are so inclined but jizz absorbs.

AF due sometime Thursday. I think it will be early am but differs based on what time if day I ice. think I'll wait until Thursday to use the frer. I have some ICS to keep me going.

Did the frer and I think it's bfn, I think I can see the faintest line but only if I hold it up to the light and squint like a madwoman and even then I'm not sure. It's so faint I can't get anything to show up on photo. Dipped another ic at the same time and there is a fainter squinter on there than the one this morning.

What does this mean? I just kept the fmu in a deodorant lid on the side, thinking I should have put it in he fridge or something? Or maybe the ic this morning was false pos?

lil why don't you hold your urine for a few hours and then try another ic? That's what I'm going to do

oops, didn't refresh properly and missed that someone had already answered stoat sorry!

just if you can see anything on the frer then its a bfp. its still early days as we r only 13dpo. im waiting for a nice dark wee before I poaic again. trying not to drink but I'm do thirsty and lips are really dry! aggghhh hooya me now!

I've found when I save urine I have to give it a good swill around before I put any sticks in it..... Hormones must sink to the bottom or something!

just I would try again with tomorrow's unicorn, don't think you'll get any definite answers today.

Sounds like a good plan lil the waiting is the hardest part!