'TTC after a miscarriage - new thread'

[Janus]

Well tried to add my bit to old thread and we have reached 1000 posts again!!
Chocolatepeanut, am so sorry for what you are going through, although you sound as if you are handling it well so far. Hope things aren't too bad for you in the coming days.
Rubles, sorry if AF does arrive, bloody bitch! My blood tests will be next week. DP sperm test threw up 'abnormal sperm' and he needs to go and discuss with the GP later this week although she did say it wasn't too much to worry about. Been meaning to start a new thread on this but haven't got around to it.
I'm looking for a yoga class to try and help me relax! Do think this whole TTC is stressing me out so much, I'm so conscious of age gaps, both our ages working against us, even worrying about if we do conceive in next couple of months as worked out it would be a July or August baby (my oldest is July born and is struggling bit with school etc). Part of me thinks it may do us all some good if I just stop ttc for a couple of months, then the other half panics about an even bigger gap, etc!!
How on earth do you all manage to relax about all this stuff??

Sorry to ask what is probably a basic question (don't know how to search for the answer), but what is the deal with taking asprin and do you do it whilst ttc or when you fall pg?

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Thanks firststar - such a long thread to plough through!! Guess it's probably not a good idea to take aspirin unless you know there's a reason too...

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FIRSTSTAR....

I am so glad your beanie is happy. You are doing a fab job hun keep it up. How beautiful.

Thanks for your message on the other thread.
I am feeling pretty low today. I have done a letter today which has really drained me.
Thanks again for the advice.

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duchesse - Think your right on the 24 week gestation, they are just so under developed it is very hard for them to survive, especially without any level of permanent damage. The baby doc's quoted all kinds of figures to us, they said that a majority of babies born at 24 weeks will have short term illnesses/development issues etc... (he was talking short term = pre-school age - approx 5 years) and 60% suffer long term damage that varies in severity from paralysis, severe disability to blindness/deafness. If they survive they suffer from lots of illness that can cause disability whether it cause the short term or long term disability/development issues.

We had pre-planned with the baby doctors that if they knew he was in a position where he would end up severely damaged then we would allow them to stop treatment. So when they advised that his lungs where not allowing him to oxygenate properly , this meant his heart would not work as well, his circulation and then leading to less oxygen to the brain. This would then cause strokes/clotting on the brain and cause brain damage. They said the best thing we could do for him is turn the ventilator off, as he would unlikely survive and if he did his quality of life would be so poor. So they took him off the ventilator and gave him morphine to help him sleep. It took him 40 minutes without ventilation to die, so he really tried to hold on... which showed had be kept him ventilated he might of been with us for weeks. Everyone is different and we believe we did the right thing by him, some people might of decided to go on.

The baby docs also told us that girls born at that gestation have a better chance of survival. (We know we are the maturer sex!!). It is crazy but even though he was only 24 weeks he clutched our fingers with his hands, moved loads when we tickled his feet, tried to cry (when he was not ventilated) and kept trying to pull out his ventilator - he was really strong and alert when he was born. Some day babies of 24 weeks will make it through much easier with medical advancement, infact some babies are even making it as young as 22 weeks... although very rare!

firststar - good news on the scan - many congratulations... wishing you an excellent pregnancy...

oinker - sorry you are feeling low..{sad)

Mumpbump - Aspirin is used in pregnancy for people with blood clotting issues. It can be used with fragmin or heparin. Doc's do thrombophylia screening if you have had previous issues in pregnancy and maybe if you have medical conditions (not sure on that one)...

Firststar - glad the scan went well

Keep positive and relaxed now - Take care
x

I really feel for you Rahrah1 - you sound so strong in your postings. I'm not sure I'd feel so together after everything you've been through - take care.

Hope everyone else is doing well?

Thanks for info. Will wait to see what happens with the next pg whenever that may be. Have been having a quick look through the thread to see what's going on...

Rahrah1 - your story makes me so sad. It must have been incredibly difficult for you. I think you're very brave.

firststar - congratulations on your pg. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

Must go work, but will try and keep vaguely in touch...

Thanks mumpbump - enjoy work!!

Hello everyone. rahrah1 and duchesse - everytime I think/read about what you've been through I feel humbled. My problems have paled by comparison. How are your partners dealing with everything? Wishing you (and everyone else on the thread) lots and lots of luck in ttc. You so deserve it. Uki and firststar - congrats and positive thoughts being sent your way.

My story is pretty banal really, Plummy. Miscarriages at 13 weeks are not really that uncommon, unfortunately. This one just dragged on for a long time, leaving us pretty hopeful most of the time that everything would be fine.

My husband is pretty philosophical now, being the rational sort of person he is; it was cathartic for him to be at the ultrasound at which we discovered that our little one hadn't made it- though he had been very hopeful up till then, poor thing.

There is actually more of his blood than mine on the floor of our house, however - he fainted quite spectacularly at 2am after I woke up passing clots at 11 weeks. He'd gone down to ring NHS Direct to find out what to do, and I heard a crash from downstairs. Luckily he had fallen with his head inside the study, which is carpeted, whereas the hall, where his body was, is tiled and would have done him a lot more damage. It was almost funny really.

Morning all
much joy and congratulations to Firstar, good on you.

Rahrah -you are indeed brave, and you and dh did well to make the right decision. Severly prem babies suffer alot, it's very sad. I cannot compare to you either but know my miscarriages have made me a better and stronger mum to ds, i know how precious life is now.

Duchesse that all sounds very dramatic, i hope dh can be stronger at the birth .

Who's testing soon????????????

Everyone's problems are unique and nobody's pain less than others...Although I am feeling like the unluckiest person out there, I know there is worse off. Although we lost Bertie we try to look at it as a positive that at least we got to meet him and find out what an amazing son we had.

I had problems conceiving prior to having Bertie, that was the worst pain in my life at that time...this time the pain of losing Bertie will succeed that, but it will still hold its own pain not being able to conceive. (hope that conceiving will not be a problem this time, but it niggles away at me).

My husband is ok, but it is heart retching hearing your husband cry and sob. He has gone back to work and is doing alright. He has managed to keep it together more recently and is really supportive to me. Just need to make sure he is not building things up, rather than letting them out. (he has a tenancy to retain his feelings).

In regards to when I was pregnant and had Bertie he dealt with everything really well. He had two wobbles, once when we got taken to labour ward when I was 22 weeks and having a bleed. The doctors said that they thought Bertie would be delivered in the next 48hrs and his chances where virtually 0% of survival... DH could not stop crying. And then when I was actually in labour at 24 weeks I had to have a needle put in my hand for drips and DH passed out and the nurses had to make sure he was ok...

I am very proud of DH!!

Morning Uki, how are you feeling today... Any MS yet?

I think I will be due on in about a weeks time....they say around 6 weeks after giving birth to get your next period.

Think I was ovulating the other day... as got quite a bit of stomach pain in one side.

Just worried that if we don't get pregnant now, at this really fertile time, then do we need to wait years again to conceive... I don't think I could stand that, as ready to be a mum now... (I pray to god that he gives me a break!!)

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Hmph! I think I may be officially joining you on this thread as I think I am probably ovulating at the moment (and it's almost 3 weeks since the m/c) so I jumped poor dh when I got home late last night!! If that doesn't count as ttc, I am not sure what does!!

Feeling a bit bad about it, actually, as we had a chat the other day about whether we should ttc sooner or later and he thinks we should leave it so I can get a bit more "physically robust". On the other hand, I think he has a pretty good idea why I jumped him and is fairly ambivalent about the timing of it all...

PS - you probably all know this, but there are lots of threads which mention that your cm increases when you're ovulating which was how I knew last time I got pg. I think it's quite a good way of knowing without having to go to the lengths of charting body temperature and I think it's fairly reliable...

rahrah relax,relax, relax.

You will definately get pg easily this time, I had one friend who tried for 4 years then got pg and then again first time trying.

I don't think it's only the first month after birth or m/c that you get pg easier i think for most women i know it's even up to a year or more after. Maybee the body knows what it's doing now.

To be honest rahrah i'd take it a little easy this month try but not to hard and then go for it next month a little bit more time for your body and head to heal and a new year and bfp to boot. I see it happening. Don't worry

Mumpbump - what is CM?

Thanks Uki....Sound advise... I do need to relax and get some confidence! I so hope you are right though...

Cervical mucus! There was a very good description of it on this thread...

sign of ovulation

Ok, thanks

I think I saw a thread on this... they said that the jelly discharge is the best and shows the higher fertility...ummm nice

I agree that it is awful seeing our partners cry. Their tendency to clam up doesn't help much either. Maybe they need a dadsnet where they can vent anonymously! Whereas we can talk to our female colleagues/mates, all they do is go to the pub without actually discussing anything meaningful at all!