TTC after MC #5

[Bristolian1]

New thread!
This thread pretty much does what it says on the tin...
Shall we start with some stats?
I'm 32, TTC since last Jan, 2x MMC last year and on second cycle of trying again.

I think I might just go for it this cycle to and see what happens - was planning to wait until first AF but at my all clear scan they confirmed it's basically just for dating and there's nothing that would make you more likely to miscarry again.

I think I might have finally stopped spotting (fingers crossed) - medical management a week and a half ago. I was spotting a few days before that too - feels like forever!!

Ps how have you all found your local hospitals? My EPU was lovely. So kind and basically said they don't do reassurance scans so next time if I have pain or bleeding (with a wink) they'll happily scan me!

I've not been to my EPU but DH has with his previous partner and he wasn't impressed. It was a few years ago now, but shed had a MC about a year before they met, so when she got pregnant and had bleeding at 8 weeks, naturally she panicked and went to the EPU and the sonographer said she was being hysterical and ridiculous. They put an official complaint in. (This is DHs youngest son who died at 4 weeks old from SIDS, almost 4 years ago now)

I'll be booking an early scan at the local private hospital. If I ever get pregnant. CD36, 16DPO, no AF and another BFN this morning. I definitely ovulated this month. This on top of past cycles is making me worry that theres something wrong with me.

got pregnant again* that should say.

Hugs iBMP have you had any hormone level tests?
I hope it's ok for me to continue to hang about here and panic that this bean won't stick...I'm not brave enough to face the main due in boards yet. Do we have a thread for grads of this thread? I can't face anyone who doesn't know the panic and I wouldn't want to worry any first timers.
I think my line is darkening up nicely. 24 hours difference in the pics.

brickie It's definitely darkening well! I do believe there is a Grads thread.

It's not occured to me to ask for any tests to be honest!

That looks great Brickie - definite darkening! And I think it's nice to hear how things are going in the early stages - nice to know it's all progressing well - as I said before it gives me hope

Have you had one mc IBMP? I got told they wouldn't do tests this time since it was my first mc which I understand but is a little annoying!

What cycle after mc was this brickie?

Brickie try this thread...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2338424-Were-posifrickintive-Another-posifrickintivity-thread-for-pregnancy-after-miscarriage-3?pg=40

ibmp sorry you're having a rubbish time... Are your cycles always this long? I can't believe how your DHs ex was treated. Incredible. I was really sad to see his son was SIDS. I had a sister who died of SIDS at 4 months so know the lasting impact this has on families.

My EPU, by contrast, have all been amazing. Like disney's experience every nurse and doctor I've seen has been the definition of professional and sympathetic. I know my hospital was one of the first to sign up to the mumsnet MC charter and also work closely with the miscarriage association. They use all the more favoured language (eg SMM instead of ERPC) and gave me lots of options and time to think and private space to be in when needed. Because I'm doing the TABLET trial, if I do get pregnant again I will have bloods taken at the EPU every 6-8 weeks and they said that because this was a silent miscarriage they will also scan me at those visits where appropriate.

I have also had a very good EPU experience and find it completely unacceptable that anyone going through this trauma would have a bad experience; staff should be carefully trained to be sensitive and supportive when dealing with patients experiencing mc.

I couldn't have faulted the care I received from finding out at the scan I was given a booklet with the 3 options: natural mc, d&c (surgical) or medical (tablets). I was told not to make a decision there and then as I would need to process what happened and she asked if I wanted to think about things and come back for another scan as it may be difficult to accept initially. I opted to come back in 5 days for another scan just to be sure.

It took days to accept what was happening before I could even read the booklet but by the time I was returning for the scan in 5 days, I'd decided a d&c would be best for me. At the scan I was comforted by the nurse and she made me feel so much better about things. She also assured me that when I do become pregnant just to ring EPU and let them know when I'm around 7wks and they will scan me, and will continue to do so weekly until I feel reassured.

The same treatment continued the day of the d&c and again I was told I could have a scan soon as I reach 7wks and weekly thereafter if I want. I was well informed about ttc again and that I could start ttc as soon as I felt ready once the bleeding stops. Also told I would be more fertile after mc.

Despite the sadness and trauma I was experiencing through my mmc....i could not fault the care and support I received and it saddens me so so much that it would be any different for any of you ladies as there is just no excuse for such poor practice especially in these circumstances.

That's great mamama. I forgot to mention, I first found out I had MCed at a private 8 week scan I had booked to reassure myself. The experience there was awful. She told me I probably had my dates wrong and refused to listen to me telling her otherwise. Even when I pointed out that to be the 6 weeks the scan showed I would have had to conceive after my bfp she just said that everyone counts weeks differently!! I was so confused! She said 'there are three options: your dates are wrong, you have an ectopic or you have miscarried' and gave me a big grin! She then told me to come back in a week or if I couldn't afford to to ring my epu and pretend to be bleeding! I left in tears and had to walk back through two waiting rooms of heavily pregnant women to get out onto the street, which was more private than inside. I feel sick to the stomach thinkin of it. I was so scared when I went to the epu a few days later, not only because I was 99% certain it would be bad news but because I was so scared of being made to feel like an idiot again. Grrr.

Welcome Nordic. I hope you find the support you need here

No idea ItBoils, how late are you now? I'd book an appointment with GP.

They were good at my EPU too, don't think they would scan me just for reassurance though, as you need to be referred by a GP. Which is weird as their delivery suite is in the same hospital and you can self refer!

I'm going from hopeful to thinking it's not our month. Weekend is just around the corner...

I didn't get as far as the epu. My gp sent me to A&E and it was awful. Everyone I saw, from receptionist, triage and then the doctor, all asked me the same questions over and over again, despite my having brought a letter from my gp. Finally they did a urine test and when that was negative they began questioning exactly when I had got my bfp. I had tested positive 3 times over the previous four days and was bleeding profusely on day 37 of a normally very regular 28 day cycle. I was sent home without any advice about what to expect or what to do if x,y or z happened. I left feeling very sad and frightened.
I appreciate that my mc was early and completed itself naturally and was therefore not as traumatic as it could have been but imo that is no excuse for the way I was treated.
Just to add further insult to injury worked stopped my pay for the ONE day I took off.

Correction, I had tested positive three times over NINE days. Not important though really hey?!
Sorry everyone, having a day.

Marys that's a disgrace! Really angers me!

Hi all,

Well, I'm a bit in shock....... got a BFP this morning! Well, I actually got a v faint line on an ic last night, tested again this morning on an ic with FMU and got a faint line so cracked open a FRER with smu and it was positive!

I am in shock, excited and terrified all at the same time! Going to call dr and get appt for asap... my EPU is a GP-referral so I want to push for an early scan. Will have to wait a while though, as I am only 8/9dpo today! Those twinges three days ago must have been implantation.

Worrying a little too as flying to Miami a week on Friday - so could really do with having a scan before then.

Congratulations kep !!!!!!!

I'm both angry about the bad experiences and gladdened to see that not all medical staff are completely unsympathetic assholes. It just seems to be a postcode lottery these days.

One MC way back in March 2007 and the latest MC in December 2014. Too far apart to warrant any form of testing though. I am now 8 days late on. When I'm not on contraception its a standard 28 day cycle, so this is very unusual.

DH & I were acquaintances when his DS died, but I remember it and it was awful. My Grandma had a boy who died at 6 months (also SIDS) so I had a sort of very vague idea the issues we were going to face, he was adamant no more children, I didn't want any more (various reasons), oddly enough it was DH who changed his mind shortly after we got married, took him a while to convince me though. And then I got pregnant within 8 weeks, and then lost the baby. It sent him spiralling. It was so much harder for him than it was for me.

He wanted to TTC again immediately but I couldn't do it. And now its all fucky because my cycle is a mess. I feel like I'm letting him down

Thanks for the link to the thread adventure hopefully I'll feel brave enough to join it at some point. Technically I'm only 3+6 today but I'm getting a fairly strong bfp and my boobs have gone up a cup size and I'm gagging all morning and having to yawn and sip water so that I don't actually vom. I hope no one minds me just hanging about here until I'm beyond the point that af should arrive.

Kep!!!!! AhhhhH!!! Wow! Big congrats! That's amazing news! :) any tips? Anything you did this cycle? Fabulous!!!!

I had a really positive experience at my EPU - It was a separate area to the other scans/labour ward and all the appointments ran exactly on time. I had the scan on the wed and was offered medical management that day or surgery on the Friday. As it happened, I mc at home on the Wednesday afternoon and ended up attending my pre-op on the Thursday, when they did an internal, blood tests and another scan before confirming I no longer needed surgery. The staff were all very understanding - I feel for anyone who has had a bad experience, as such a difficult time doesn't need to be made any more difficult.

I don't think I ovulated before first AF as my cycle was shorter than normal. We tried straight from getting the bfn and were successful the cycle after first AF.

Happy to have my bfp, but feels so different this time round. DH said he'd get excited once we hit the 12 week scan mark - think self preservation has kicked in for us both! Only symptom so far is a v v light implantation bleed. Had no symptoms really last time either other than hunger and feeling light headed when I stood up. Called the midwives yesterday to self refer - thought it was best to be on record in case anything went wrong. She said that I could discuss an early scan at my booking appointment. We're off on holiday a week on Saturday for two weeks, so presuming everything goes ok, I'll be 8 weeks by the time I'm back. At least the holiday will give me something else to focus on!

One day at a time...

Kep you give me so much hope!

Tootle one day at a time sounds like a good plan.

Kep told you you're a fertility guru !! Congratulations !!

Brickie - Absolutely you must stay with us on this thread !! It's what keeps us all going !!

Having been looking forward to charting etc after my first af comes I've had a bit of a set back. My dad was taken into hospital this weekend and is not in a good way at all. I've cried more than I ever thougt possible which I think maybe as on top of the mmc I just felt like I couldn't cope and be strong any more. The thought of ttc right now just feels too much to think about as if I was to get a bfp I'd just be consumed with worry on top of everything else !!

Adventure I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, maybe put ttc aside for now until things get better and so as not to overwhelm yourself when your already doing through I difficult time. I really hope that things improve soon for you x