We might be over 40 but we are young at heart, taking our supplements, shagging on time and waiting for the precious BFP!Over 40's TTC, join us here...

[Gumblossom]

Starting the new thread, Cloudjumper.

Anyone over 40, trying to conceive, whether it is your first or 6th (or more), we're facing the obstacles together.

I've been at it for 6 years now, but there are plenty of good news stories from these threads over the years.

Come and join us with your worries, woes,successes and milestones, we are here to support one another in our quest.

Arg! I've just written a huge long message and it's disappeared on my phone! How does that happen!? Will try again..

Oh chewy thank you so much for your encouragement. It's made me think maybe I can do it and I've got to look up from the glum reality at all the ladies who have done it. I know it would be so worth it and I know I would be able to cope.

I am swinging from yes to no every day, several times a day.

giveme I've also done IVF, produced 8 eggs, 6 fertilised, 2 transferred and they didn't implant then only 1 was good enough to freeze. That one implanted but I mc'd. This makes me think that my eggs are just too old and our chromosomes are too fragmented. It's time to give up. The risks are high.

gum I'm just a step ahead of you, I had my crash at the weekend and wailed like a banshee for the 4th baby that has been plucked from me.
I know they weren't babies but it felt like that and if things were normal..

It will be over soon though, I feel quite normal today and my confidence is coming back. Still a bit fragile but I can talk about it without crying now and back to being philosophical about it.

It is a hard habit to break and I also can't see myself going to the GP and asking for contraception when it breaks my heart.

Hi ladies, I was on this thread or a precursor ages ago. I've been lurking a bit. We're not really ttc yet. As we speak our stubborn sleep refusenik nine month old is snoring away between us in our bed. It's hard to find the time, energy (or space, even, since we co-sleep!) to dtd.

I'm sorry that it has been such a difficult few weeks, and I'm sending to everyone here who needs them.

I'm de-lurking to give Annie another happy 42/43 story for your collection. Sleeping 9 month old, our first, was born when I was 42, after a mc. It was a very easy pregnancy, I cycled to work at 39 weeks. He is perfect apart from the refusal to sleep and 98% for weight, hitting all his developmental milestones, etc. Hang in there. Good things can still happen.

Annie, Gum, sad that you are feeling so sad..... Hope soon everyone will feel better again.
I have been babysitting my granddaughter this week. it is hard work. Could I even do it full time myself? She is a relatively predictable 2 month old, but still - if She cries even for 5 minutes I am so terribly sad and overly worried. in addition, my 6 yo son is finding it hard to cope, at the same time loving his little niece very much. If we had that last baby, pur household would be totally upset. That is clear now. But I am so not ready to give up. Obsession? I guess so....

Hello, everyone Gum, I am sorry you are so sad about no longer ttc. It seems particularly poignant that your journey had to end like this but I can see why you would not want to go through this turmoil again

Annie, bless you for asking after me. I am sorry you are feeling as though a baby will never come to you, but you know that kind of thinking never stopped the unlikely or the improbable from happening, right? We literally have no idea what is in store for us; all we can do is keep an open heart and I personally think you should keep going, perhaps trying different options. Sorry if you've already been asked but would you consider donor eggs?

Congratulations on milestones and great scan news, Cloud and Grizzer.

Givemeababy, I am shocked that your clinic haven't solved what would seem to me to be one of the easiest hurdles to get over in an IVF cycle: thickening of the uterus lining. How hard can it be to get this sorted? I'm sorry you're in this limbo. It sounds as though the stress of it is causing you to think irrationally (I am sure your desire for this baby is as strong as your partner's). I hope you fins some peace with all of this and that this problem with your lining is quickly eradicated.

AFM, I am 7 wks tomorrow and have my early scan next Wednesday when I will be 7+6. I was sent home from work on Monday for vomiting in the staff toilets (colleagues in cubicles on either side of mine!) and yesterday I was prescribed Cyclizine by my GP for the incessant nausea. I am still scared of no heartbeat and a mmc next week, despite having had zero spotting or cramping. DH has calmed me by saying if the worst happens we will simply go back to our plan of using donor eggs at a clinic abroad.

Flotillas, I am so sorry I forgot you when I was asking after the other pregnant ladies. How remiss of me! I am glad that you are feeling sick - only because it is a good sign- and I'll have everything crossed for your scan. How lovely of your DH to calm you like that.

I know I sound sad, but more than anything, I think it is the hormones talking (or drop of hormones). I lay in bed last night counting all my blessings, and I have many. I think I would also find a baby exhausting, jass, but I suppose I always put that aside and believed the positives would outweigh the negatives. And though I'd love a baby around me, I don't quite feel ready to be a grandma either!

I am busying myself with plans for holidays and weekends away, as well as looking for a house to buy in the big city so that when my children go to Uni there they will have somewhere to live. If this baby had been born, I certainly wouldn't have gone ahead with those plans. It is nice to be able to help my kids out to give them a good start to adulthood. University accommodation is very expensive, as is renting houses in the city, so DH and I want to help them out. My DD (18) and DS (22) are going to Uni in 2016, my other DD (15) won't be far behind them.

I am still feeling really tired despite getting a lot more sleep than I was when I was pregnant. I think it is the after effects of the anesthetic. What's weird is that I have had virtually no bleeding after the first day after the erpc, but last night I got up at 3am to use the loo and when I wiped there was quite a lot of red blood. It seems odd, but I feel alright otherwise. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with the Dr who did the erpc, so I will talk to him then.

Good luck to everyone ttc.

I hope I haven't put a downer on the thread? It's been very quiet in here.

Anyone coming up to testing time?

Just waiting for OV, With no enthusiasm whatsoever, I have to say. after mc it felt I needed to be back on ttc track at once. Now the urge is gone. Will dutifully do what is needed, as I would otherwise just regret it, around testing time. It is less the hopelessness of ttc past 45, rather the feeling that I might not cope with a baby.

I've had my moments where I wonder how I'd deal with a baby - last time I had one I was 33.

I had a flashing positive clearablue test yesterday, I haven't had this much sex in years - we've DTD for the past five days I think (husband is mad for a girl). I feel a twinge of a UTI coming on.

Hello all,
How are you Gum? What did Dr say about bleeding?
Sounds like your sickness is really bad Flotillas. I have had constant nausea for the last couple of weeks & a really horrible taste in my mouth but I was happy to have the symptoms. I've had 2 fairly big bleeds, although they only lasted for an evening, but have been scanned after both & all is well. I have my 12 week scan on the 5th which no doubt will show me as high risk for downs. I've been told my hospital is starting a new test through the blood though, avoiding the need for invasive testing. It's usually between £200-£400 but if you are high risk they will do it for free. I had a weird feeling come over me last night though & I'm feeling anxious again. Just being dramatic really & no real basis for it but I just feel like something changed.
Hmmmm the craziness of TTC & symptom spotting turns in to the craziness of early pregnancy.
Hope you muster up the enthusiasm for TTC again Jass.
Is anyone waiting to test?

I'm on day 35 so another long cycle. The last 2 months my opks have got dark on day 14 but I haven't had the other ov signs. Like ewcm, ovary pain and increased sex drive. So my body seems to be gearing up to ovulate but then not releasing the egg. Very frustrating.

I guess I could get a pregnancy test (haven't tested this cycle) but I just can't face the white space.

Good to hear how you are getting along grizzer and I hope you can keep positive.

Everything crossed for our pg ladies! It is very inspiring that some of us succeed!

im still here :) just waiting waiting waiting for my first period after my MMC. Had the manual erpc on 8th may, bleeding stopped about a week later, then after a week i began to bleed horrendously and loose huge clots for around 7 days.

Tomorrow I will FINALLY be at that magic number of 20 bleeding free days after the MMC to say that if i do begin to bleed again, it will be my period....ive never been SO desperate to see AF...cos then I will know my body hasnt decided to give up for good and go all menopause on me.

Ive started back on my myriad of supplements yesterday to see if that will help give my body the nudge it needs to wake it up and get it cycling again!

at the back of my mind though, Im wondering if it will ever happen. Had a little wobble yesterday when i caught sight of the calendar on the phone on which Id marked how many week weeks pregnant i would be all the way up to my due date in december, and I would have been 16 weeks yesterday.

Hi ladies- not been on this thread before but it was the first TTC one I found with a mention of soya isoflavones! I bought some but never got round to taking them (went down the chinese herbs route instead) and wondered if anyone wanted them? They're Tesco brand, 30x 40mg, new sealed pot, only cost about £5 but I'm loath to just chuck them if someone could get some use!

Thanks monkerina, maybe someone here will wNt them ans is in UK. Also, there is a thread about ttc with soy isoflavones, there everyone uses them.

We are falling off the first page already! Hope everyone is busy enjoying the summer. We have none in Lux this year, its cold and rainy. i got back to this rainy place on the day of pos opk, which allowed me to not miss the fertile window this month. i did soy isoflavones day 4-8, i.e. later than usual, to have later ov. But I still seem to ovulate no later than day 13, which is rather earlier than later. i have understood taking soy later postpones ov, but seems not to be my case.....

i have AF!!!! whoop whoop....now i know where im working and when im supposed to be ovulating, so i can take my soy isoflavones and get back on the bike as it were!

never been so happy to see the old girl...but this will be the LAST time i am!!!

Summer a bit hit & miss here too Jass. Dd had her first school sports day on Monday. So glad I asked for some time off (wasn't sure if I was pushing my luck what with all the various hospital appointments). They did lots of relays with nursery & reception classes mixed together. It was so funny to watch! The kids were so excited.
We have dd's follow up appointment from her ear surgery this morning so I'm not having to manically rush around for a change.
Congratulations on AF Fatty - just this once though!

Morning ladies

Gum, Annie hope you are doing ok.

Grizzer and Cloud hope you are both feeling well and masses of luck for your scan today Flotillas - let us know how you get on.

Yay for AF Fatty! Jass and everyone else good luck for this cycle. I'm 9 DPO and have gone symptom spotting crazy. I need a virtual slap! We put our names down on IVF ED waiting list abroad - hoping that invokes Law of Sod!

Hi ladies. Glad to hear the cycle is back on track, Fatty.

Thanks for thinking of me, mustbe. I am feeling pretty good actually.

I had a tough day on Saturday - lots of weeping from all sorts of triggers. But feeling much better now. I have decided to name my baby (Miriam), and will light a candle for her on her due date. I just booked a few days away for our 25th anniversary in December, in a beautiful hotel in a gorgeous city (Melbourne), which will be lovely for us. I have also organised a long weekend away for my knitting group. So I am keeping myself busy with plans and consoling myself with the fact that I am not feeling sick.

I sat down today to organise my fitness plan, which felt positive. I've not been back to the gym, or in the pool since about 6 weeks pregnant, and I know getting fit again will help me cope with everything better.

I have not given anymore thought to contraception - I don't even want to think about it, but I know I shouldn't ttc again - I just don't don't expect to have success, so it would be pointless. I suppose at some point DH and I will discuss it

Flotillas - I hope the scan went well.

Hi folks

Just returned here, hoping for encouragement. I'm 44 and been tried to conceive our second for the last 3-4 years. one of two late periods/very early MCs but zilch so far. Reason I'm back here is my AF is due this weekend but unusually my breasts are feeling much tenderer and tingly than normal at this time of my cycle. I don't want to get my hopes up (yet again) but 'could' that be a good sign?

Gum, how kind of you to ask after your recent sorrow. How do you feel physically after your operation? How will you cope when the desire to ttc comes back? I think you should go for it and not use contraception. I know that's probably an unwise thing to say, but I know your heart is breaking at times. Miriam is such a lovely name

I am delighted to report I have a strong heartbeat at 8+3 with everything 'looking perfect'. I have had no cramping or spotting and very strong symptoms and massive breasts so I had a good feeling this morning. I feel ever so grateful, at 44, to be here and I would like to thank you all for your support

I'd like to hang around to cheer others on although I understand if that's not appropriate.

Gum - Miriam is a beautiful name. I hope you have a wonderful silver wedding anniversary celebration xx

Lavender I'll join you in some symptom spotting! My boobs are also far more tender than usual, eating like a horse, bloated, snappy with everyone! Could just be PMT but here's hoping! Will you test early or wait for the weekend?

Hurrah Flotillas - fab news! I for one hope all you preggos stay.

gum I named my m/c, Aimee-Louise, that I delivered at 14 weeks, and we celebrate her birthday every year on may 4th when she was delivered, and light a special daughter candle for her on those days and on infant loss day.
My beautiful angel daughter would have been 19 this year, and she alwasy gets a special birthday message from all of her older and younger siblings and me and my o/h on facebook too.

I have found that acknowledging her as part of me and part of our family, helped me cope enormously, rather than people (and my and the o/h) trying to forget it happened or pretend it never did, she is mentioned and talked about often, as if she is in another room, or elsewhere.

Much love for you, and special angel hugs for beautiful baby Miriam

Gum, I hope it all helps you to heal....

Flotillas, please stay, we are not like this on this particular thread - you got your dream come true, now leave us behind in our misery! We recognise it is rare and very special if one of us has success, and we might be envious, but we realise your pregnancy is yours and you having it go successfully is not the reason some of us mc or fail to fall pg. There is, I think, a graduates thread, if cloud, cali and grizzer managed to recreate it. I have not looked, tbh, but I hope they did. But you are no less welcome here, even if they did!