We might be over 40 but we are young at heart, taking our supplements, shagging on time and waiting for the precious BFP!Over 40's TTC, join us here...

[Gumblossom]

Starting the new thread, Cloudjumper.

Anyone over 40, trying to conceive, whether it is your first or 6th (or more), we're facing the obstacles together.

I've been at it for 6 years now, but there are plenty of good news stories from these threads over the years.

Come and join us with your worries, woes,successes and milestones, we are here to support one another in our quest.

Flotillas, my intercourse pattern was 2 days, 3 days and 5 days before ovulation. My score from Fertility Friend was "good", not "excellent" or "fabulous". My chart

In the past I have gotten pregnant two days before too.

Thanks everyone for good wishes.

Jass, I know you are just thinking aloud, and probably trying to be realistic, but there are cases of women getting their THB after many miscarriages isn't there? I know there was one on this thread, years ago when I first started on here, she was in mid-40's, had about 8 miscarriages, then had a THB, and as far as I know, she was told she had an "unfussy" uterus: it didn't weed out the bad conceptions like it should, then she got pregnant and went to term, and was very,very surprised it worked out.

Glad to hear your spotting has calmed down, cloud. I certainly follow your logic about the scan. Personally I don't think a scan before ten weeks would actually lessen any anxiety for me, because I always had good scans right up to days before miscarrying at 9-10 weeks.

As for me, after a rather sleepless night of trying to accept that it may be that I will lose this one too, my breasts didn't feel tender etc I woke and did another test, which is as strong as yesterday (I am 14 DPO today). Yesterday's spotting was really brief and not very much, and brown, so perhaps it is nothing to be concerned about. Now the boobs feel a bit more tender. I know the hormones will fluctuate, so I will just chill out....

It's hard though, isn't it, not to put some hope into it? I want to distance myself from the whole thing, then maybe celebrate each tiny milestone as it comes along.I don't think I can feel remotely like it will last unless I get past 10 weeks.

I also have feelings of ambivalence: I really want to have a baby, despite everything...or...having a baby will make life so hard for everyone in my family.It will change so many plans we've made, things will be put on hold again for years....but that doesn't matter, it will be so lovely to have a baby in the family, my children will love it...but I can't afford the time off work...might as well just miscarry now so it is done and dusted...that's the last thing I want...and so it goes on. I just can't seem to shut down the incessant chatter in my mind.

I guess I know my life is pretty charmed overall, and life will go on regardless, but, it would be the icing on my cake of life.

Nothing to do but wait.

Fingers crossed Gum - really pleased you have got bfp - take care of yourself.

Thank you for intercourse frequency shares! May I ask something else? Vit B at 50mg; can that be continued in the first trimester to support progesterone or is it dangerous to an embryo? Thank you.

Thanks, Chewy, for AFC links.

I've been away for the weekend so just read about gum's news. Congratulations. Hoping and hoping things work out for you both

By both I mean gum and cloud! Far too excited!

flotillas Not sure about Vit B - I know that it is often taken during ttc to help regulate cycles, but it can have quite strong effects. I would check how much is actually already in the antenatal vitamins that you are (probably) taking anyway and probably steer away from taking anything more than that. In any case, your GP or even midwife might be good people to ask about that.

cloud, thanks for that. I am actually enquiring on behalf of my friend who is 38 and just got her bfp. She is keen to support prog with the B6 but is afraid of any negative consequences.

Gum, I think finding yourself pregnant at 48 must be really quite scary for all kinds of reasons, but you've been trying for 6 yrs, is that what you said in your OP? Keep that in mind every time the doubts creep in. All those bfn's and crushing af's and mc's. If this is your time it is the culmination of all that heartache. It's a miracle!

Cloud,I think you are right - I had scan last time at 6w1 day according to ovulation date, and there was not even a fetal pole. But thereafter it developed everything and caught up with growth, when it died it was spot on with ov dates on size. Now I know it died nevertheless, so maybe it was decided with this late development situation, but ai have read many many stories when it really did not matter. So 6w scan is one of the least useful ones to have. Unless you have side pain etc. Have you checked that you are getting 3+ on digi? That should be pretty sure by this stage, as it takes about 2500 units of hcg to turn digi into 3+, and by the end of sixth week it should be in the areas of 5000 to have a healthy pg. I think most ppl get 3+ around 5w 2-5'days.....But of course if it helps you to not play with tests, then do not do any!

Gum, I guess part of your brain is trying to make sure you will not be too sad if this pg does not stick around, hence the fear and negative thoughts. It must be subconscious protection mechanism! But try to think about getting this fetal pole to grow and then this heart to beat etc. I am now also in your camp - until last mc I thought all I need to get is hb and I am over the hump into the safe heaven of pg bliss. Now I will be firmly in the camp that 12 w is the first milestone. Will not do US before that if I catch again:-(

I do not know about B6 neither.....I have teid it to get my rubbish LP to behave, but always stopped at bfp as i will be on prog support anyway....

Hoping for the best for both Cloud and Gum.
Well, I got my post-mc BFN. And I've pretty much stopped bleeding I think. I still have some red spotting coming out with cm, but maybe this is something else, I can't quite decide.
We had guests over the weekend, people I had not met before, along with their 7month old baby. The mum had things to do so I was minding the baby for quite a while. So nice to have a solid little warm person sitting with me! My three year old was quite impressed. He says he wants baby twins. Two boys or a boy and a girl. Sigh.

Oof! That sounds such a tough weekend there, West but you handled it with aplomb by the sounds of it. Can you imagine twins with a toddler!

Jass, I have a friend (35) who today had an appointment at the famous St. Mary's miscarriage clinic in London. She has recurrent miscarriages despite making 'perfect' embryos during her IVF cycles (she was born without fallopian tubes so this is why she needs IVF). She creates top-grade eggs and lots of them - which in turn become beautiful blastocysts that implant every time. She goes on to lose the pregnancies in the earliest weeks. She has had every test under the sun, so we were anticipating great things from her consultation today at St Mary's.

I have copied and pasted what she said to me in her texts, because I immediately thought of you and your losses. I have read your posts in the past that threw up some almost identical thoughts to what my friend's doctor came up with. I know you think that it is your age causing the eggs to be chromasomally abnormal, but what if it is something else? Something fixable? Here is her report, anyway. Please excuse the copy & paste conversation style:

'In a nutshell, they cannot find anything wrong. I've had most of the tests done before so they have ran 2 new ones (I didn't bother ask what they were) and re tested the rest.

He came up with an interesting, possible, cannot-be-proved theory:

Some women with hyper fertility will implant any old embryo. I am hyper fertile (poly cystic, over eager ovaries), remember I got a 100% fertilisation last time and 7 out of 12 embies made it to blast.

3 preg out of 3 IVF isn't that usual and also feeds the theory.

Anyway, I've been advised to take x3 folic acid a day (don't laugh, it's like taking a hammer to your thumb cos your leg is broken if you ask me), and next cycle they will probably prescribe much higher aspirin and higher steroid.

If I get pregnant again I attend their clinic any Wednesday ASAP and they'll take blood and scan if possible. Bloods to check if everything is ok.

Rather than I return in 8 weeks I'm to return in 4 to see prof Regan to discuss drugs. This is the day before my follow up at barts IVF clinic so hopefully we can have a plan in place to cycle in July.

I'm debating getting intralipid treatment privately. This is the treatment for NK cells and costs around a thousand pounds. My IVF consultants feel it is charlatan behaviour as not conclusively or rigorously tested and possible coincidental (most women like me will get pregnant eventually, by NK point everything has been tested etc IVF, steroids etc so is it intralipids that is working?)

BUT they have no issues with me doing it anyway.

He reckons it's most likely a numbers game with me compounded by my only getting fertilised using IVF which slows the numbers down.

He was mindful of our having to pay privately so I'm not sure if he held back on saying 'keep going' in case we then bankrupted ourselves on his advice.'

Again, I'm sorry if any of this is irrelevant to you Jass, but we're here to share, right? And you are always so generous with your knowledge.

Flotillas, thankyou for sharing your friend's experience. I don't have the same issues as Jass, but I still find it very interesting. I had heard about taking loads of folic acid (up to 5000mgs) in our forties. At the moment I am taking a regular folic acid, plus folic acid in a preconception sup, and also in another supplement.

One new supplement I took this past cycle, that I hadn't taken before is "pregnenolone", which is supposed to help with hormones. I have no idea if it helped, who knows? I also started drinking pomegranate juice daily as I'd heard it would increase the lining (I've always worried that mine was too thin as my periods got lighter).

Fromwest - glad to hear things are settling down. How lovely to spend time with a baby, but also very difficult. Twins,eh? That would be twice the delight, wouldn't it? But also such hard work.

Flotillas, thankyou for your lovely words about this being my time, my miracle I would love that. And yes, I suppose it is close to 6 years (I started to ttc when DS was about 10 months old, and he is now 3 months shy of his 7th birthday, but I had to wait till he was 18 mths old for my fertility to return, so perhaps not quite 6 years).

I have such conflicting feelings. One moment I am philosophical and prepared for the worst, the next I just want this so much to work out. Time crawls when you want 8 weeks to whizz by, especially when you test early I am now 4 weeks and 1 day. First milestone - tick! The next milestone is 4+3, as that is when my last pregnancy ended. I've not had anymore spotting at all, but the severe boob tenderness has settled and sometimes the boobs feel normal, then they feel"pregnant" again - it really fluctuates, but I believe that is due to fluctuations in the hormones at this early stage.

Flotillas, thanks for the info, which shows once more I am doing all I can! I am aware of the hyperfertility theory, but in my case it seems to be compounded with the natural infertility where uterus is protecting itself from hemorraging to death. It will happen to me, as my placentas never disengage by themselves. Body does not account for modern medcine though! It is immune reacting against any embryo, to protect mother from dyong, so that she can brong up existing kids. Seems to happen more to the mothers of boys. My last 3 are boys. I seem to fit into this category, even if NK cells are normal. Anyway, I live also by nonselective lining theory - progesterone in LH is meant to make your lining more selective. I am doing it. I also do pred for immune issues from bfp. Folic acid, aspirin and heparin, the last one again to protect the forming placenta. I am not the one here who blames old eggs, maybe wrongly so, in fact - I blame all the immune issues and maybe hyperfertility. But thanks for telling your friend's story, it shows me i am doing all I can.....

Hang on in there, gum and cloud, I think we are all in the 12 week wait with you.

I feel pre-menstrual at the moment, boobs like fire, water retention and moodiness, a day or two until .

For everybody else, let's hope we all have that baby in the next 12 months and can start a 40+ new mum thread.

I was going to test this morning but dd got up at 4.30 to go to the loo & I went too so decided not to bother. For some reason as I rushed in from work, desperate for a wee, I decided to test. It's positive!!!!! I'm not going to say I've got my bfp & I'm going to say 'I'm having a baby!' In the hope that positive affirmations really do work.
I'm really starting to believe the morning sex is key for me. My last 2 bfps have come from morning sex!
Jass, I have had surgery after delivering 2 babies (1 full term, 1 at 18 weeks) my body doesn't release the placenta either. What can I do to let it know all will be fine?

Fabulous, Grizzer! We will have an old mum thread soon!

You are welcome, Gum and Jass. I really don't understand what my friend is saying, to be honest, but I've seen your past posts, Jass, and thought I'd pass on her experience. Yes, it certainly looks like you are already way ahead of the game, Jass, and are doing everything a top class consultant would suggest. I do hope you get your take home baby.

Oh, Grizzer! What a thrill! I am feeling quite left behind but I'm sure we all feel like that in tandem with being thrilled for the preggos May I ask some personal questions?: What supplements were you on? How old are you? What was your intercourse pattern> Again, please ignore any questions that are too intrusive

So..ladies...who's next....?

Grizzer, I would have a football team at home if I knew how to overcome the fear of the body! Prednisolone is supposed to tame immune reaction, and heparin/lovenox/clexane to help protect placenta, plus aspirin to fight the clots if immune system is tryong to cause them.....

But, on positive, this reaction tends to weaken over years and then the pg will go to term. Just all by itself. Hence ppl can have 10 or more mc and then suddenly a problem-free pg. When uterus feels healed and strong. Rc bthw may help with this, since lining gets a total facelift out of this procedure. And I have to say my summer eprc defo did sth to my, lining, as I stopped spotting between periods....Maybe some stuck placenta was finally released.

Flotillas, I have a doc at university hosp in my home country who works with prof Christiansen in Kopenhagen. I have been used by them as a case study of typical protective immune reaction of uterus. They Ave nevertheless beena boe to help me:-)))

My typos are getting horrible, as am always on ipad.... Sorry

Evening all. Just popping in to say wow and OMG about two more BFPs. Well done gum and grizzer. And how are our other preggo 40 somethings?

Chewy how are those pesky cysts? I hope they are clearing up ok?

Thanks for the cheering messages a couple of weeks ago when AF turned up. Appreciate the support. Am now waiting for AF to turn up again. I can hardly describe it as being on the 2WW as our attempts have been so pathetic this month. Once on day 13 of what is normally a 24 day cycle is not going to get us a BFP. If I was bothering with FF it would definitely give me a demerit!!

Fingers crossed for you all with recent BFPs, all preggos, and here's hoping for some more BFPs soon.

Lovely news Gum and *Grizzler!

Shock BFP for me too this week.
I'm hoping for 4th time lucky.

Superb, AnieHoo, anybody else? Raining bfps at the moment!

Should we have some stats?

flotillas, 44, ttc #2, cycle no 6.

Congratulations Annie!

Thanks all. Sorry Jass. Hope that wasn't insensitive. I have to inject clexane because of previous dvt so maybe I should start sooner rather than later.
Flotillas I'm 42. I've been taking Chinese medicine herbs for about 6 months as well as normal folic acid. This month I started FertilAid for women & made dh take the men's version. Not sure that it could have had an impact that quickly though although it had good reviews on amazon.
We dtd every other day from about day 8 but this month we dtd days 10, 12, 13, 15. I normally get 2 lines on ov stick on day 14 but this month it was day 12. That's also the day I dtd in the morning

Congrats Annie. Sorry, missed your post.