We might be over 40 but we are young at heart, taking our supplements, shagging on time and waiting for the precious BFP!Over 40's TTC, join us here...

[Gumblossom]

Starting the new thread, Cloudjumper.

Anyone over 40, trying to conceive, whether it is your first or 6th (or more), we're facing the obstacles together.

I've been at it for 6 years now, but there are plenty of good news stories from these threads over the years.

Come and join us with your worries, woes,successes and milestones, we are here to support one another in our quest.

Thankyou cloud I tried to talk to my doctor the last time I got pregnant and he didn't think there was a reason to take aspirin. He also didn't think progesterone was worth worrying about.

Jass,I hope you are right - I would love it to be my turn to go full term. I have progesterone cream,which I know isn't the same thing as the suppositories, but I've not been able to get a doctor to prescribe them for me.

I was on the isoflavones: red clover. I hope it makes the difference I need.

Wow, Gum. Congratulations, hoping for a sticky one. Yes, do say antibiotics and UTI, UTI also explains the constant need for the loo...

Congratulations Gum. How brilliant. I tend to go with the antibiotics excuse. I once had a night out & drank non alcoholic beer - the bottle looks the same so no one noticed (or maybe they just didn't mention it!) harder to hide when there's just 2 of you though.
I'm 10 dpo tomorrow & think I might start testing. I don't normally but I'm so bloaty & feeling fat (I've had salad for lunch & sushi for dinner so don't think it's anything I've eaten). Obviously I've been taking my magical vitamins too so I'm almost certainly the next lucky bfp!!

Wow Gum - many congratulations on your BFP - what fantastic news! Have a and some decaf and a well-deserved treat !
I'm sure its a great sign that your test is so strong and you've been feeling so positive. Wishing you all the very best and keeping everything crossed for you.

About aspirin - I've had conflicting advice, but a professor who runs a university research project into RMC (as well as seeing individual patients) advised taking 75mg daily from 7 - 8 weeks and no earlier. I guess it just comes down to personal choice. Maybe just do whatever you did with your last DS?

Very interesting to hear about the red clover isoflavones. Can I please ask how much you took and on which cycle days?

Flotillas - you asked about antral follicle counts. I only went because I was curious about my weird cycle (and to be fair, found out why, re the cysts). Its a trans-vaginal ultrasound of ovaries to assess the number of small follicles (about 2 - 9mm). Its normally discussed as a total for both ovaries. Its one measure of ovarian activity/reserve, but is expected to vary from month to month. If its an IVF cycle, it indicates how many follicles might develop in that cycle, but in a natural cycle you'd usually only get one maturing, obviously. I gather its best done on day 2 - 3, but I think technically, it can be done at any time. My scan also included a check up of uterus (any fibroids, lining etc).

The clinic I used is a specialist scanning service who charge 80 Mon - Sat and 100 Sundays. Many IVF clinics also offer 'fertility MOT' type of things, even if you're not having treatment with them, but I suspect they might charge more and/or want you to have a whole package of blood tests etc.

Here's some info about AFC's:

• Lister ovarian reserve assessments (see page 4 re age-related AFCs)
• More about antral follicles

Wow, two BFPs, congratulations Cloud and Gum !!!
Gum ,I had conflicting advice on aspirin, either to take all the time when ttc or else start from BFP. In the end with DD3 I wasn't taking it in the lead up to testing(as had given up on ttc) but started as soon as I got my BFP. x

Thanks for the lovely response and advice everyone.

I have had a very sleepless night worrying about so many things. I worry about how on earth we can afford to have me stop work, for any period of time at all, as things are quite tight. I worry about whether I should keep up my gym routine, or is it too much, but then again, every other time I've gotten pregnant in my forties, have dropped the diet/exercise and put on loads of weight, only to miscarry. I worry about how I will manage the hard work of a new baby at my age.I worry about how my colleagues will react.I worry about how I will manage my job and nausea and tiredness.

Then I think: this is madness - the chances of the pregnancy lasting are so slim.

I don't think I will see my Dr until about 8 weeks,and only then to organise testing (I think you call it the Harmony), oh, and how will I afford that (it is about $1000 here.)

I know this way madness lies, I need to stop thinking about it all. I tested this morning, it isn't much darker than yesterday afternoon. I will test again in a couple of days if AF doesn't turn up.

I have decided to take the aspirin.

Chewy - I took the isoflavones days 4 -8. The tablets are 40mg, so I took 3 tablets on days 4,5, then 4 tablets day 6, then 5 tablets day 7 and 8.

I didn't take aspiring for my last DS, but I had had no miscarriages before him. Wasn't completely innocent in those days.

Gumblossom, are you in Aus? If so I just wanted to say that Harmony testing cost me $400 (just for the blood test, no scan). And yes, you do need a gp's referral for this test.

Gum.....congratulations !!!! Such good news!!!

Thankyou shnicky, that's a relief to hear it is less than I thought. I am feeling quite worried about finances. It's silly to get ahead of myself, I know, but I have a tendency to overthink everything.

My previous post should have said ,I "was completely innocent in those days". When I got pregnant with DS, I realised there was a risk because I was 41, but had no real idea of how it felt.The day I found out I was pregnant we went on a 6 week holiday, which really helped the first trimester fly. I know that this time it will crawl.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to do another test, but I did it this morning, and the test is a lot darker than yesterday, and my temperature is nice and high. Still very early days though.

I really wish I wasn't going on this work trip today. I will be sharing a room with my colleague/friend, which normally would be fine, but I am so bloated and - ahem- windy, so goodness knows how I will deal with that! I will be making up a story about the antibiotics, I think...

How is everyone else. Sorry I've been so self-absorbed. Is anyone else coming up to testing??

Gum, people do not norice other ppl around them so much that they could tell they are bloated or windy! Forget about it and tey to enjoy the trip as much as poss!

gum Yes, enjoy your trip! jass is right, I'm sure no one will notice - keep a window open at night

Well, things are not looking so good here. I started spotting on Friday, and since then it's been on and off, sometimes stronger, sometimes it stops. My hopes are dwindling fast Just spoke to the EPU (I actually recognise the voices of the nurses on the phone now), who as expected said that there is really not much they can do right now, especially as it's quite light and intermittent. I completely agree that scans at 6 weeks can be inconclusive, and I'm not even sure I want one, but it was still nice to speak to someone. So all I can do for now is to keep an eye on it...

Cloud - I hope the spotting turns out to mean nothing at all. Hang in there. Will the EPU scan you in a week or so?

FWIW I had several episodes of bleeding pretty much throughout my pregnancy with DD (now a robust 95th centile toddler) and none at all with a MMC last year (until it was medically managed, obvs). I guess what I'm trying to say is that, from my limited experience, whether I was bleeding or not hasn't helped me to predict the outcome.

Gum!!!! I am so pleased for you, and as,Jas says, the strength of line,at so early on bodes well. Have everything crossed! Xxx
Cloud, how stressful for you, hope you get some reassurance soon x

Cloud, are tou any medication? Progesterone pessaries can cause spotting, aspirin can do the same, and heparin. But of course I know the bloody evil feeling, sinking heart and all. Nevertheless, lets keep the hope for now, it still has a good chance to go to term, obv not as good as without it.....

jass Yes to all. I'm using the 'back door' for the progesterone for that reason, but yes, they could all contribute. However, most of my mcs started just like this... It seems to be settling down again now. All I can do is wait and see.

its just so sh... to wait.and wait. and wait some more....But lets keep hoping you are not waiting in vain and there will be a happy ending.

Gum, what an amazing feat! Well done and many congratulations May I ask about your intercourse pattern? (That sounds awfully nosy so please ignore if it is weird) I am desperate for someone to tell me that they got pregnant from not very much sex

Cloud, what an awful worry. I do hope the spotting is innocuous and that it is just the best news at your earliest scan

A woman I used to know very well has just given birth at 44. She smokes cannabis, never exercises and eats rather badly. Her lover is 21. Go figure

oh cloud I am so sorry to hear you have had spotting. I have too

however it was only a tiny bit and it was brown- which makes me think "old" blood and maybe implantation bleeding especially as I had avery strong - as dark as the control line BFP this morning.my attitude is that I can't do anything about it apart from wait and see.and if it is going to end, honestly I prefer sooner than later. But I feeling weirdly calm Still at conference, just had a break. Be in touch later..

Hope you're ok Cloud & the spotting comes to nothing.
How was the night with your friend Gum? Did she accept the antibiotics story or was she trying to persuade you to 'just have one?' (That's what I'd do!!)

Flotillas, I may humour you on lazy ttc/bfp many times over - I never do it more often than every 48 hours, often only on the day of pos opk. Otherwise maybe once a week. Plenty of bfps with this sex starved regime. Not that it helps (you or even me:-)))

Jass, I can't help thinking the SMEP is not for older DH's. Every day for four days over ovulatory window cannot be good for sperm quality, surely? Should I just try eod? I'm terrified of missing the day of ov and the day before.

Flotillas the 'natural gynae' dr that I get my magical herbs from (they haven't worked so far but let's ignore that) says every other day between days 10 & 17 is plenty. I can usually manage that but I find when I see the 2 strong lines on the ov stick I try to squeeze an extra session in. I think every day for 4 days would kill me!

Flotillas, exactly. If there is a reason to worry about sperm wuality, eod is the preferred option. By definition, you can not miss the day before ov and the day of ov both with eod approach, can you? That should cover enough bases to catch the egg, I think.

Gum, gosh, line as dark as control 12dpo? That is a benchmark on its own!

I get there 20 dpo, no wonder my placenta is damaged by immune issues if the nk cells are eating away at it with this tempo in my case. I have unfortunately found a lot of literature which suggests that even if the immune issues are overcome enough by treatment to make placenta functional, it will still often be suboptimal so IUGR is a common complication even if pg develops into second tri. Should I stop trying? The last thing I need to finish my fertile life is end up with a neonatal death or seriously ill baby born around 25 weeks and weighing in at 500g? On the other hand, on pred thread here in MN the IUGR does not seem to be a common complication, but I notice many ladies there only have 3-4 mc under their belt and then go to term on steroid treatment, so they may not have had the immune system issues after all determining the adverse outcome of earlier pgs? and none of them is 45....Just thinking aloud here.......

flotillas Well, if it's any consolation - I have fallen pg before with dtd once during my fertile window (on ov day). And with this pregnancy, we had to stop before I actually ovulated (1 day before) because I started to get a uti. So it is perfectly possible to get knocked up without dtd every single day - and I completely agree with you, I also don't think that it's good for sperm quality. I've read that every other day in the run up to ovulation is best to ensure good swimmers.

My spotting has calmed down, only brown discharge today. I have decided that unless it starts again, I will not have a scan now. At 6 weeks, I just don't think there is any value - if they find a heartbeat, I will not be convinced that it is meaningful, and if they don't, I'll think the same... Too much uncertainty. I will try and hold out to 8 weeks. Which is only another 13 days. Just like a 2ww. Yeah, right...