Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

The menkul is definitely getting to me now. I've had hypno woo on repeat through my headphones but just feel miserable. 4 hours sleep and still feeling sore isn't helping though. Aiming to get through a meeting at 1 then a certain amount of work that I can't do from the sofa, then give up and go home early...

How's the hangover rain? Does it help if I TALK REALLY LOUDLY then invade your personal space before leaving rotten fish in your pocket ? (still had some left from destroying Erica's opks)
Happy to help .

How's the head, rain?

barking hope you're managing to keep the menkul under control. This whole process is a headfuck but you have great news about those embies! COE! My egg collection was pretty awful - v bloated and painful. As you know, the lining ishoos but the kibosh on transfer, but in a warped kinda way I was quite relieved as I didn't want any more faff with my foof. You are hard as nails for doing EC without heavy sedation! I have a feeling euro had the same experience. I am shaking my pom-poms and sending those embies lots of positive vibes.

cheerycherry glad you have been finding ways to stay chilled. And have you eaten that pineapple yet?

AFM I have commenced my sniffing. Bleugh. Tastes a bit horrid but it's better than stabbing! I think it just got missed off the prescription somehow, and I bunged it in a drawer didn't check as carefully as I could.

I had to admit to myself that I was being ridiculous earlier when I got instantly angry at the word 'differ'. And then realised it wasn't a noun for a pregnant person and actually a totally different context! I may have ttc on the brain

You lot are worse for sympathy than my coworkers! I saw the hangover off fairly quickly thanks to a bagel and a coffee, but I have had dry hangover mouth all day - horrid. I am definitely too old for weeknight drinking these days!

fizz that's hilarious about differ - even with your anecdote it took me a good 30 seconds to realise it is actually a word meaning something other than smug annoying pregnant people.

Right, I am having an early night, can't keep my eyes open much longer. Night night!

COE!!!

Cool wet grass Barking, it's the worst menkul in the world, only to be replaced by the 'shitting hell the things perished inside of me and is probably already excreted in cervical mucus' type thoughts. Despite this I've had a really nice day and managed to shut these things from my head for the most part which I'm finding is key to happiness in these strange and wearing times.

Oh and for those following the saga, I've managed to eat some pineapple at last! It was well worth the 2 min effort of getting and bloody delish but did give me pineapple tongue. I guess this is the same ingredient that makes it do magic things for embies?

Fizz the sniffer thing sounds rank. Finding it in a drawer is exactly the sort off thing that I would do though. And I definitely am obsessed with TTC and find myself having to consciously not use BESH terminology in the real world.

Sleep well Rain, we're all going to be bloody light weights after this long TTC and then the 9 months of diffed-dom. Sigh.

fizz you got me there too with differ, had to stop and think!
chez I had to stop myself referring to a friend as 'hag' in a text the other day, and stop myself telling the acupuncturist a couple of weeks ago that I was waiting for the droid to arrive .

When is otd for you chez?

Work were actually really good today. I was in a meeting clutching my wheat bag (internal meeting) and apparently looking very pale and the boss told one of my colleagues to drive me home as soon as she'd finished in the meeting . I didn't go as I had work I wanted to get done that I couldn't do from home, and going home wasn't going to make it stop hurting, but they made it clear I didn't have to be in if I thought I was better at home . I carried on as it was proving a better distraction than day time tv, but I left at 4, given I'd been in since 8 anyway and not taken my usual breaks.

Can someone please fast forward me to a successful 20 week scan please, then fast forward again to just after the birth?

Been awake since 3am this morning, surely sleep is not going to be a problem tonight?!

Don't be a martyr to work Barking, you need your rest
I hope you got some better kip last night. If the embryologists thought any harm was going to come to your embies they would call you in and out 'em back pronto so try not to worry. ha! Way easier said than done I know.

I've woken up feeling like I'm getting a cold this morning which is a bit annoying/menkulling that there is something going on in the immune dept. I have cramps that are probably just wind, thanks to the progesterone.

OTD is Easter Sunday, 16dp2dt. I'm currently menkulling on when to test. I'm going to see my folks for Easter ( Thurs avo - Monday) ROCH isn't coming, whole other story.... I need to have my shit together to see the fam, definitively don't want to do it there. Do I test before or after? Thurs morning would be 13dp2dt but I'm at work in the morning. The Tues after would be 18dp2dt and I'm also back to work. I need some space but seem to have planned this very badly as there is no falling apart time factored in!

Cant you cut your trip a little short Chez? or full on cancel it, its sounds like such hard timing. I wish there was an emoticon to convey the feeling I have for you, excitement, nerves, queasy, happy (I am not naming dwarves here!). Counting down along side you.

How goes it Barking? Are we due any more news? again with that unnameable emotion like with Chez (can someone give this feeling a bloody name for me!)

Well, Mr Blue didn't do such a good job of recounting the spaff test results. I finally got all the detail out of him. Count is 2 million, GP offered a referral to IVF or a retest. He opted for retest! I've called GP this morning and reminded them how elderly I am now (!) and she has agreed to make the referral for IVF today. So I'm coming up on the side lines hags!

I do feel a bit wobbly, its all suddenly a real difficulty (it was easily passed off before as 'oh it'll happen'). I haven't actually told Mr B yet but will do later.

and hags .... I'm embarrassed to say I have 2 stone to loose (at least) - am gonna start pinching your healthy living tips today but keep and eye on me will you?

Hi ho hi ho, dem pesky emotional dwarves are definitely at work Blue, brilliant analogy! Hurrah for your referral, congrats hag, you're on the road, tis indeed real. Some definite incentive to get on the weight loss wagon now too.

I think that end goal alone will really help the willpower battle. I've been strictly gluten and dairy free since Christmas (rather than letting myself have the odd sin here and there) despite a ready stream of temptations. The yummy leftover meeting room food is something else at work but I've managed to resolutely avoid it for wanting my immune system to be in the best shape. You can do it, we're all behind you to help you get your win!

Right now I'm thinking of testing just before I get in the car next Thurs or Monday, then I've at least got a 5hr drive to give myself a good talking to and get my head straight whatever news the pee stick brings.

My advice sheet that guards against running also says I shouldn't travel more than 2hrs in the car without a break. That's gonna be a ball ache hey?!

If it were me I would test on the way back (either way wouldn't it be hard to be sat with family when you arrive?) but I don't think it's an easy decision. Poor chez and the rubbish timing

Urrgh, I looked at the results again - LESS than 2 million, some motile some not. I feel a little sick with panic. I've told him about need for iVF, I think he's sulking a little. I feel awful for him. I'm also getting too ahead of myself and remembering that he has already refused donor sperm (honestly I hate this, I would have no trouble with donor eggs if needed) so now all I can hear in my head is "I'll never have my own baby" on repeat. Fucking cunting fuckty!

How's my other hags doing?

blue sympathy menkul is all I can come up with, but it's basically what you're getting at I think (although I do like the idea of BESHly dwarves ).
It's a head fuck no doubt, getting used to the idea that you need medical intervention is not easy. Is the 2st loss a condition of treatment? I've found weight watchers worked really well for me. I can't deal with diets that are really restrictive of certain foods, ww works for me because you can still eat the stuff you like. I've lost 1st 7lbs since January 1st, probably could have lost more if I exercised more!!!

cherry those are definitely not ideal circumstances! You're nails tho hag, and we're only a phone screen away if you need a hand hold.

Not long to go barking - no news is definitely good news on embie health I reckon! they must be doing perfectly.

Sympathy menkul is excellent Rain!
I love it

I'm very close to the cut off bmi for refusing ivf so yeah, I really do need to sort it. (I remember your 7ib, go you ??) But aside from that, I'm not sure a babybee would want into this body as it is (I've stress eaten over the last year and put on the 2 stone then). I'll be able to sort it, I'm good with a very clear goal (I always knew I needed to sort it but looked around at those bigger than me and with child and it made me eat more cake, now I know a doctor won't let me win a babybee unless there is less cake I can get on it!)

Emailed my clinic of choice and they have emailed back to say 2 million is fine for icsi as long as "a few" are healthy. I reckon we can do "a few"

Googled stuff last night and found loads of people saying they are paying privately for treatment in the Czech Republic as it's better quality and cheaper. What do we think of this hags? I have a Czech friend and whilst it would involve me outing my fertility woes (which I think she has probably guessed seeing as we married and started ttc at the same time and she is now on babybee 2!) - she could give me advice?

By the way, hangover all gone now Rain?

there's a lady on another thread barking and I frequent (the berries) who had a Prague win. I'm in the app at the mo but can try to find the details of where she went later. unless barking gets there first! You have the ultimate goal this time so I have every faith you'll shed what you need to. I comfort ate for a year after the miscarriage, hence the diet this year.

Hags, I've been obsessing a lot recently over why I managed that natural diff last time and not since. I've often wondered if there was a correlation between the fact I had a hycosy a couple of months before, and today stumbled across this. I am not very sciencey so I'm not sure what the actual results are but it clearly states the hypothesis is that a hycosy could increase conception rates in subfertile women by bring minor adhesions/clearing mucous plugs. Any of you more science minded and able to tell me what they actually found???

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1110569011000641

sorry clickable

Poor you Blue, how stressful! Do bear in mind that you just got the results so it's going to be difficult to think beyond 'fuck fuck fuck fuck cunting fuck' on repeat for a little while. Mr Blue may need to sulk it out for a bit... Mr Erica used to have some, shall we say, fixed ideas about treatment, donation sperm/eggs, adoption etc but he's 'opening' his mind slowly as time go by...

In terms of losing weight, we are all here for you and the pom poms are out!!
I find easiest to concentrate on healthy eating instead of just calorie counting. Some healthy, low carb recipes are really yummy and you can have decent portions, going hungry makes me so depressed. I have zero willpower (remember the baguette and milk chocolate) so I try to just not buy the stuff I shouldn't eat. YOU GO!!

And please don't be embarrassed, lovely. Not here and not anywhere!

Chez It's a tricky one. I agree with Blue that it's probably best to do it after the visit but knowing myself I would break down and test while visiting my family which would be a terrible idea (in my case, with my family).

Rain That's some impressive weight loss!

Rain Did you have a d&c after your miscarriage?

Because I experienced some problems as a result of it but don't want to give you the whole saga if it's not the case at all. But it was adhesions related.

Afternoon hags. Sorry I haven't been on. Been working like a divil, haven't I? Someone's got to pay the bills. Who am I kidding, obviously that's Himself who earns twice as much as I do.

TCIF, is all I have to say, what a week. Though I have to go to a wedding tomorrow. I used to like weddings, but now I find them tedious and stressful and terrible for one's diet. I'm also covered in bruises from my little fall, hags - seriously, in bizarre places that I didn't even really fall on. My thighs and forearms are nicely purpled. I'm going to look so fetching in my mint green dress tomorrow!

barking, everything is still crossed for those embies. Pompoms at the ready.

Cherry, I'm with everyone else - hold off on testing before you go on your trip. Try to leave it till Monday, if you can. Preferably when you get back home, but a service station en route if necessary. That's a very long drive, you poor thing.

Blue, totally understandable to be only capable of "fuckity fuck" now. It's a big step, and panic and menkul inevitably follow.

Sympathy menkul is a great term. I was thinking that German might have a word for it (it usually does), but I couldn't think of anything, and the internet agreed. It's sort of like the opposite of Fremdschamen (which describes cringing for someone else) - Fremdeinfuhlung (empathy with strangers), but that's not at all catchy. Sympathy menkul it is. Menkul synchrony. The McClintock effect, but with menkul.

Rain - I think that's what the article says but in all honesty im not great at understanding this all.

Erica - I do indeed remember the bread and choc scorched in my mind in the food lust bank

Bad - damn I wish the German word was catchier. I love a good German word, me.

I text my best friend straight after I posted here about the IVF. She's read the text but hasn't responded (unlike her). I'm trying to be rational (she works and has a young child) but I'm actually really upset. I took a risk on telling one RL person (and planned who would be best) and decided to tell her, I'm sure there is a valid reason but the lack of response makes me feel totally dejected and like I want to cry (Id hoped she would phone me up to talk about it- the only words I have said out loud about this all day are "Mr blue - the Gp is referring us for IVF" (Mr blue says ok and leaves the room)

bad - did tcif mean thank cunt it's Friday? If so, brilliant - thank fucking cunty cunting twatting fucking cunt it's Friday (I actually don't want it to be Friday - I control the menkul much better when I have to work but hey ho)

My ovaries are taking the piss tonight, I have ovulation pain like a bastard!

I left my phone at home this morning, been without it all day!!! Just a little anecdote to illustrate the intelligence of DCW sometimes - I emailed him from work to say I had forgotten my phone. He emailed back. I emailed him again later in the afternoon to ask him to email me at 5pm to let me know if he was in the pub and which one, and I'd join him. Meanwhile he went home to walk the dog, and noted my phone sat on the table. Then he sent me a text to ask me if I was coming to the pub, which I got when I arrived home having not had an email from him....

chez I was incredibly unproductive at work today if that helps? I would have gone home, but there was stuff to do and was helping me not menkul. Well, not as much.
So, on Thursday you'll be essentially 15dpo? I'm not sure I'll be able to hold out that long! If all goes ok tomorrow I'll be 14dpo on the bank holiday Monday (or 9dp5dt anyway). I'm already thinking I'll probably break on the Sunday, so if you are capable of holding out until the Tuesday (20dpo?!) you're a far stronger woman than me! . Although obviously the lovely fab didn't even test early and still had the menkul of a false bfn to deal with. We'll find out tomorrow when our otd is, we have to go in for a blood test, so I'll not get ahead of myself and I'll wait until I'm actually pupo before thinking about testing!!! I've not even ordered a test yet.

I'm ok thanks Blue no more news until tomorrow morning. I'd like to think that if they'd all kicked it someone would have called to let me know, so I'm assuming they'll have something to put in me tomorrow....
Good work on calling the gp and getting going. Are you thinking of private as you don't want to wait for the NHS? I've heard good things about the Prague clinic from different sources (including the omgivftwinz win that rain mentioned).
Good luck with the weight loss. I'm crap at following diets, although I did manage the gluten free for a while - that was while I trying naturally in an attempt to balance my hormones and even out my cycle, as soon as we started relying on injecting shit loads of hormones I didn't see the point!! I think when you have a goal that matters, it's a lot easier. You don't ever want to look back and wonder 'what if I'd just lost a bit of weight?' so that should be a good motivation. That's why I quit all the exercise completely for this cycle, although the nurse said just to tone down the intensity.
I don't have the awesome diet willpower of chez though .
Maybe your friend is busy and doesn't want to reply in haste. I hope you hear from her soon.

rain I'm going to go with the dummy version here as I understand it! The hsg or hycosy basically cleans out the tubes. Er. That's it.

Erica wise words to blue there. I was never going to have ivf.... I know women whose partners would never adopt but they're through to stage 2 of the adoption process......

bad I'm bored of weddings now. Got DCW's step brother's wedding this year - on my fucking birthday!! The bitter hag in me can't help thinking they're not even married yet, bet she still gets pg before me

All the emotional German dwarves of sympathy menkul to you this morning Barking and a massive gurnard of good luck as you prepare to be PUPO! COW!! Yup I think we're going to end up testing on/around the same day if I can hold out that long though self preservation says I might have to! Thanks for your widsom on that hags.

Blue these are momentous times and all the more weird because they're largely secret, not to be spoken about times. Verbalising it to Mr Blue and trying to have a conversation would be a good thing if you can to start to make it feel real. ROCH has a great head in the sand 'yeah I'm cool with this' exterior to problems when he's anything but underneath. Any news from your Prague friend?

the Germans have some awesome vocabulary to describe shit but they're not pretty words are they.

Name drops and fist bumps to Rain, Erica, Bad, Fab and Fizz

Barking- more emotional German menkul sympathy dwarves here! Hope all goes well

Will pop back in later (still trying to be but can't stop thinking about sperm asleep)

More emotional German dwarves of sympathy menkul for you Barking. Wishing you the very best of luck for a smooth transfer and no pain .

Blue, what Cherry said. Wise Hag.

Cherry, that's a bitch of a horrible timing. I'd be tempted to go with the homecoming test rather than before test. You need you strength about you whatever the result. Don't spose there's any chance you can cut short your family trip by a day so that you can at least give yourself a day with the result before going back to work? Remember being kind to yourself is important.

Bad, how are the bruises today? Have fun at the wedding - go and have a giggle, dance like crazy and remember all the fun things about why you and himself are together and ignore all the other bollocks. And if anyone asks why you haven't bred yet tell them you're just about to go down the assisted route as you've being trying for long but thank you for bringing attention to such a painful subject and whilst we're talking about it can we talk about your sex life too??

Rain it's definitely A Thing. I had a laparoscopy in November for endo and was super pleased to be having it as it is also known to make a difference to fertility. I think there's something about having a good clear out in there that seems to make a difference.