TTC and still breastfeeding? You're not alone! Thread# 2

[peardrop2]

Marking my place...hoping I won't be here for long

I can't sleep. DS woke up screaming at 2am, went back to sleep but now I am awake full of TTC nonsense whirling around my head. Can't stop thinking that this month may be my last chance of conceiving a 2015 baby...unless we have an early arrival . I'm feeling so stressed about it all Now I'm worried that if I do OV early then my CBFM won't catch an early egg. Should have brought cheapie Ov sticks or a new thermometer! I wonder if it is too late to start temping?

And some jerk told her DP that he was surprised to hear that my sister chose to Breastfeed as it'd "ruin her boobs" angry

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually there is no emoticon to express how I feel about that statement.

Interestingly my mum in the 70's and 80's went against the grain and bf me and my siblings however, only for 6 months at a time and she also feels that bf mothers should be covered up at all times and ideally not feed in front of men! I thought she was really pro bf until one day after a family meal she said that she felt sorry for me because my brother in law didn't leave the table when I was bf. Looking back at it now I'm not sure if I would feed at a family gathering again, I always felt so awkward feeding in public because of people like my mum. I felt like people would stare at me in restaurants and coffee shops even though I was always discreet as possible by wearing a feeding bib and sitting in corners where ever possible. I felt so relieved when DS dropped his last daytime feed knowing that we would only be breastfeeding at home. It did not help that all 10 of my NCT friends stopped bf after 6 months (most after 1 month) and at least 6 of them choose not to bf in public but pumped the first couple of months so that they could feed from a bottle until they realised that wasn't a realistic long term plan and quit all together. It is actually a miracle that I've bf so long because only 1 (out of let's say 40 of my mummy friends) bf long term and she stopped at 18 months. My friends look at me like I am a bf alien I think they feel threatened by me. I've really learnt a lot from my journey. 1) don't expect bf support from friends who have different views on bf, 2) our generation is way more selfish then I ever realised, 3) bf long term will make you a much more down to earth mum who won't want or be able to be away from Dc for long periods of time, 4) Your single friends who have no clue about ANYTHING child related let alone bf will abandon you because you can't leave Dc or leave the house before 7pm (especially in my case as DS refused a bottle so I could never express).

I wonder if any of you will do things differently next time. I know I will. I won't feel any guilt for turning down invites so I can stay at home to bf, I won't go out for unnecessary coffee trips or meals where I will feel uncomfortable (less chance of that happening with dc1 anyway), I won't listen to the midwife and I will introduce 1 bottle a day of express milk so that I have more flexibility if needed, or I won't if I change my mind, when people ask me how long I plan to BF I will openly say for as long as needed without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. I'm rather looking forward to my next bf journey already

Ruth pear I just used cheapies twice a day to try and catch ov before AF returned. It was about two and a half weeks of poas only for negatives of various strengths to show up which was tedious buy it worked well in the end and gave me confidence of interpretation. Last month I demanded we DTD every time I thought it looked darkish untip i finally saw what a true positive looked like. So this month I felt confident to wait until they were obviously positive again. I thought it was worth the money to catch ov before af and potentially shave a month of conception! Still do regardless of stupid lp being so fiendishly short.

I think I have been lucky in not feeling uncomfortable about bf in public. I never covered up either. If someone stared I stared back which usually solved the problem! mind, some men people did look a bit lecherous at time. I have only once been asked to leave or not bf by an establishment. Would I do things differently? I wouldn't worry about bfing DC to sleep for fears they would become over dependent. I only hesitated for a few days about that one and then carries on and frankly it was a boon being able to know DC would nod off easily at night when bfing!

Rosie I did that & the next day I got my period. The only reason I had to do it was because my poor little dd had a bad throat & found it too painful to swallow anything (we took her to the dr x2 on that day as I was so worried she wasn't feeding but it all worked out ok).

Pear sorry you're having a bad night.

That's awful that everyone has to put up with so much negativity about feeding. At about 7 months my dd got to the stage where she would pull on & off the boob, stick her fingers in my face & babble whole feeding, especially if we were somewhere she could be easily distracted. I prefer to feed her in her room as she knows where she is & feeds best in there. It's easier now she goes longer periods without feeding. Until she was 7 months I used to feed her everywhere though - coffee shops, gatherings, etc. My dd never wanted to take a bottle either.

I'm not using ov sticks so no advice there. Will see how it goes this month then might try them next month. I think I've got a stash of Internet cheapies somewhere from dc1...

Rosie - no sorry I haven't heard of skipping 24hrs. Hopefully someone else has! I cut down feeds.

Aurora - you're braver then me to feed without cover

Mary - thanks, I think too much...that's my problem Pass me the matchsticks please

My CbFM asked me to POAS today at 10dpo so I've finally got to do something positive. I always feel better when I am actively monitoring!

I'm very pro-feeding in public! Have just been at a work conference and fed my excitable 14 month old in front of about 60 colleagues which was the first time I felt a wee bit embarrassed. I've sometimes been thinking "what's going on with that woman flapping that scarf or shawl around?" and realised its someone feeding - and that's caught my eye much more than just a baby cuddled in. It must be difficult if you feel v self-conscious though. I think it helps I live in a small rural-ish town though
Anyway, my stats

Puggle01
36 yrs
TTC #2
Cycle: ?
Dc: 14 months
Bf story: All the flipping time! Morning, express at lunch, feed evening and feeding to sleep and co-sleeping.
AF: no sign yet....
Bfp due:

Hello everyone. Am still here behind the shadows wishing you all BFP very very soon. Am I allowed to stay on the thread? My stats are

Hideandsqueak
31 years
TTC #2
1 DS 16 months
AF returned when DS was 9 months
TTC BFP 3rd cycle currently 8 weeks
BF DS was still feeding day and night when got BFP and currently is still as keen. Nipples very very sore and nausea when milk lets down.

Hi hide & congrats on your bfp. Good to hear you are still bf-ing ds1. I think I would do the same if I got a bfp now as she still feeds all the time. Poor you with the nausea though & painful nipples. Do you plan to carry on throughout your pg?

Nooo-ooo hide nausea with bfing? Oh dear. Stay strong!

Aurora how do you keep up with the March bus? Every time I look there are a gazillion more posts!!!

Haven't caught up yet, but just had to respond to Pear's post. I totally get what you mean about bf'ing in public - we always ask discreetly for a dark quiet corner where I can sit with dd under our bebe au lait nursing cover. Yes, we both Have to sit with our heads under it. I learnt the hard way when dd would kick out, and bob her head about from under it, that she was looking for me. The peep hole at the top wasn't enough, and wanted me to actually be under there with her too if she was to keep still and not expose my boob to onlookers... Wherever possible, especially in 'family friendly' establishments, I ask first if there is a baby feeding/changing room I can use. I was told in one such restaurant that had a children's play area that, yes, they had one and they just needed to get a chair for me to sit on in there. I was then directed to the disabled toilet!!!!! The waitress actually popped a restaurant chair in there for me and motioned for me to enter the cubicle. I couldn't believe it. I don't eat my food in the loo and I wouldn't expect DD to either! Sometimes we just pop out to the car park and feed in the car...much less hassle

Thanks for doing the stats Pear. To fill mine in, I'm on cycle 1 and have no idea when BFP is due as my cycles are too irregular :( so that can stay blank.

AF finally stopped today so am gearing myself up to get started DTD with a vengeance

Sorry to hear so many people have had negative experiences with public breastfeeding and family/friends reactions. I'm the only one out of my group of friends to have a baby and so I've had to explain quite a few times why I can't just leave my bottle-refusing baby with DH for a weekend to go on a hen do etc. Have bf in front of them all plenty of times now though and to be fair to them, they've all shown interest in how it all works and have never ushered me into a corner or anything! A few that are now thinking of starting their own families have also said they will be coming to me for advice which is really nice

I would like to continue bf DD if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again. Have never thought about a cut off point, just figured I'd see where the journey took us. She has already cut down so much since turning 1, that I really treasure our morning and evening feeds, especially as she is so cuddly in her. PJ's!

Pear, My sis currently feels uncomfortable about saying she can't go out for meals etc at the moment when silly people suggest it, and it's just not practical. She's too nice and also feels awkward that her newborn needs feeding while her tons of friends have been visiting and she can't 'hand' the baby over to her friends who 'want a hold' as her baby wants a feed and, unlike with her friends' DCs she would have to produce a boob, not a bottle. My advice to her has been, what I believed since DD was born, that, her baby's needs come first and if her friends can't wait a couple of months then they're not worth worrying about. Real friends will understand. Friends who you don't see form one month to the next and who just 'drop by' unannounced on a mama and her newborn need to be shooed away on the doorstep, and have their heads examined... Sorry, rant over.

I've also told her to ignore the HV and Midwives and introduce the bottle so that she can express to make life a bit easier. I ignored the 'experts' and gave DD a bottle in the early days and it didn't confuse her at all! right! rant is properly over now! I promise...

Ava - that's awful! It's shocking how often this seems to happen though I have become very good at quickly sizing up the quietest, corner tables most suitable to discreetly bf at when dining out! Serving staff must think I'm so bossy as I often lead the way, saying 'we'll sit here!'

I think I'm a bit cranky today as I seem to have had a night like Pear most awful night in a long time - DD was settled down and asleep by 7.30 then DH disturbed her when he got in from work at 10.30 then she was awake and would not settle, just wanted to play and read books with me until gone 2.30am! She must've been tired though as when she would finally settle and I managed to bf her to sleep (I'm with you here, Aurora) she accidentally bit so hard on my nipple I thought it would come off, or at least be bleeding...yes, I sobbed in a mix of exhaustion and agony she slept in then until 11am(!) and didn't wake at all during that time for boob (thank god). I'm going to try to skip her nap today to get her down at a reasonable time again, and ban DH from the vicinity....

I have trouble keeping up with this thread, really appreciate the stats Pear!

Ava, so nice for your sis to have you for support, midwives have so little time these days and it can be tricky to get bf off the ground without it in the early days. Luckily my mil, for all her faults, is a great advocate of BF and while her advice wasn't always sound, she made me determined! Dh was also keen (probably as it was one less thing for him to do!)

Mum, bf rates are shockingly low aren't they?! I did bf peer support when I had dc2 but hardly anyone ever came! And I live in an area where you might expect BF to be higher than average.

Ruth I mentioned earlier in the thread about how having a sibling for my ds1 was the best thing ever for him and it certainly made me feel better about stopping BF him at 20 mo.

Congratulations Hide, I really hope the nausea passes quickly for you. I had HG with my first and it's hideous!

Well all 3 dcs are poorly now and the bloody dog has fleas! So I'm BF lots and am generally knackered, I don't think AF will be returning this month either! And with the extra food I've been eating since reading that article I'll be fat and not pregnant

Ava - how amazing that your sister has you for support. I bet that means so much to her! I sound like I was in a very similar situation to your sister. You live and learn Motherhood is very testing for me as I'm naturally generous and too kind. I find it hard impossible to say no. I'm getting better though! Sorry you had a pants night too Hopefully tonight will be better for both of us!

Hide - sorry I forgot you now have your BFP. Wow those last 4 weeks went quickly (probably not for you)!

Ispy ~ sorry your household is poorly. That is such a downfall to TTC. Don't give up though as I had a stinking cold last month but still potentially OVd so don't panic yet

Afternoon everyone This thread has really taken off!

Pear and Ava sorry you both had rough nights. I have to say though ava I am very of your dd's 11am start. Also, isn't it lovely when they feed to sleep? It's so rare for dd to do this now

Ispy I hope your poorly dcs are better v soon

Pear, try not to stress about whether your baby will arrive by the end of this year. I'm like you in that I have certain 'deadlines' in my head. Our first cycle would have meant that dc2 would arrive before I turned 38. Our second would have meant dd may have still been 2 when dc2 arrived, and now this cycle means dc2 would arrive before the end of this year. I need to chill out a bit more hey?!

Re bf in public: I haven't been able to do this since dd was about 5 months old. She was (and still is) incredibly nosy and wriggly and, as much I tried, it just got more and more difficult and she fed less and less well. I should have known when, at her 8 week check, our very experienced health visitor commented on how 'alert' she was. Hmm. What she really meant was 'you're gonna have fun with her'. How true. About 2 weeks later she started seriously fighting her naps. If it weren't for hours of pram walking she would have dropped her naps at 10 weeks I think. At the time is was very restrictive and I missed out on all the coffees with fellow mums etc etc. But, like everything it got easier as her feeds and naps became more spaced. I'm owed an easy baby next time round though.

Hide yes, definitely stay with us. Maybe we'll soon be asking for this thread to be moved to the antenatal section and renamed bf during pg

Mumof I was on most of the jan and feb buses but you're right they do move so quickly so I have taken to mainly stalking lurking now. Some good tips (and mindless banter) on there though.

Hi mums can I join you? We've been trying TTC no.2 since August but nothing yet. I had the implant taken out in August and no periods until December, then another one in January but nothing since. Spoke to nurse from sexual health clinic today who said that periods should be normal like how they used to be before having the implant. So I asked her if breastfeeding could be the reason and she said definitely because of how often DD drinks. She's 2. But I have a few friends who got pregnant whilst breastfeeding as often as me. Any thoughts? So frustrating, I just want it to happen.

Welcome spekulatius

I don't think there are any definite answers to whether feeding/feeding often can hinder fertility. On one hand we have eagle and hide on here who successfully conceived whilst feeding often, yet on the other hand I've read that some people have to fully wean in order to conceive. In the latter group though, how do we really know that the reason they conceived that month was because they had weaned. It may have just been coincidence.

Maybe your cycles are still returning to normal? I hope they settle very soon.
How often does your dd feed?

If you want to give us your stats then I'm sure the very clever pear will add you to our list.

Thanks we feed for about 45min in the morning, feed to sleep for nap late afternoon, feed when waking up, feed to sleep, then in the night we co-sleep so not really sure, sometimes once or twice, sometimes a lot. Then during the day sometimes she doesn't ask additionally, sometimes a lot but I think that's more boredom, if she's upset, usually just a quick suck. Obviously I don't know how much she's really drinking or whether she's only sucking but there's definitely milk there. So stats, what do you need?
Age 32
TTC number 2
DD is 27 months

Don't get quite all the abbreviations. AF?

I did have the implant before having DD, had a period the next month and was pregnant the following month so I don't think it's that. Never had a period whilst on the Implant. And before using that was always regular about every 4 weeks.

Plus there was a lady on the previous thread who hadn't gotten her period (AF = Aunt Flo = period) at all but through temping she caught the first egg! She's due a few weeks before me. I can't remember how old her DC was when she conceived.

It's completely personal to every woman I think but your nurse is wrong to say you must wean to conceive. Otherwise the human race would've died out a long time ago

hide, I remember that pain and nausea so well. I fed through the first trimester and absolutely hated it. When we found out we were having twins I decided to encourage DS to wean.

Whatever about feeding 2 at a time, I won't be feeding 3 at a time!