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Conception

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Original poster

23 year old single and have been thinking about having a baby

136 replies

Tannedbarbie1 · 20/02/2015 03:27

Hey girlies,

So I'm 23 years old 24 in may! And I've been thinking about having a child for the past 6 months, i would love to be a mother and have a beautiful baby. But I'm single so don't know if it's the right move. Financially I can definitely do it I work from home so no worries there, but the responsibility does scare me! Most my friends are having babies now and I'd love one, but im single. Alot of my friends have supportive family, i don't really have a big family at all, i only live with my mum and I live miles from the rest of my family. But I know I can do it. If anyone has had these feelings let me know, I get the feeling I wont meet a guy and il leave it to Late

Xxx

OP posts:
Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 22:50

*she

Brooki25 · 21/02/2015 22:51

Every1 seems to jump on that. My friend, said 29 year old. Had a massively difficult pregnancy, that the doctor told her was because of her age. I did not say 29 was old to have a child. I said when she had her first child she was fine, the 2nd was horrendous. Because she was "older" That is a fact, not an ill formed opinion

brickiemum2 · 21/02/2015 22:51

BarbieI think it's biologically fair to say that in general pregnancy can be easier at a younger age but statistics can never be asked to an individual as many young mums have terrible pregnancies and births just through bad luck/chance. It's therefore not a reason to feel urgency. My mum was a relatively young mum (21) and I was a slightly older mum (30) each of us went for it when we felt the time was right. Both of us were in a stable relationship though which I do feel helps immensely. Being a fabulous single parent is perfectly possible but it is so much harder than having a relationship where you are supported.

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 22:53

Well this is interesting Grin

Anyone for Wine ?

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 22:54

Regardless of 29 or 39 there is nothing wrong with being an older mother. It is not selfish. That is where you are pissing people off.

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 22:54

29 is not older.

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 22:55

arsenic pour me a scotch, please.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 22:56

I wasn't trying to suggest it was ! I was trying to demonstrate from what brooki was saying.

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 22:57

Scotch. Lovely. I'll join you Smile

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 22:58

Not you not Smile. I'm just getting annoyed at brookis repetitive assertions that 29 is old.

I turn 26 soon, I'm getting up there Grin.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 21/02/2015 22:59

I thought Brooki didn't want to continue our friendly chat, I live in hope. Grin

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 22:59

Ah x posts. Smile

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 23:02

Any suggestions for birthday gifts now I'm getting on a bit?

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 23:03

Nice trip to Switzerland? Wink

I seem to have missed the bus...

TerryTheGreenHorse · 21/02/2015 23:03

You've only got three years left until your 29, I would start working through your bucket list if I were you Grin

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 23:06

Have you seen 'Logan's Run' mouse?

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 23:07
Grin

Only 3 good years of childbearing left. I best get shagging.

I can alternate climbing Ayers rock and seeing the Eiffel tower at night with procreating.

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 23:11

No I haven't arsenic. What else do I need to see before I'll need bifocals?

I've already seen the godfather, Casablanca and the green mile.

cowbiscuits · 21/02/2015 23:12

I think how well you cope physically with having babies probably has more to do with your overall fitness. Someone in their early thirties who is, fit, active, and healthy will probably be better off than someone 10 years younger who is unhealthy, inactive, overweight and so on.

So if you are worried about missing out on the physical benefits of having kids younger, the answer is to look after yourself as best as possible.

Sorry some of the posters have been a bit condescending in their tone OP, but I do think they are right.

Sounds like you feel somethibg is missing and you're trying to fill a gap. Work out what's missing from your life, maybe your job is getting boring? Maybe you need new challenges career wise? Maybe you need to meet new people? New partner? More travelling?

Original poster
Tannedbarbie1 · 21/02/2015 23:49

Yeah I think for me at the moment I will probably do some travelling, and just live life, i want to be wiser and older when I have kids too I've decided, Some of you have given really great advice thankyou :) and I have plenty of time to meet a lovely guy and settle down, if love to have my own place first and drive and get married and have travelled the world some more.

OP posts:
sizethree · 22/02/2015 00:03

Wow Brooki, you're really something.
There is a massive difference between offering an informed opinion and dishing out rude and quite frankly ageist insults.
Something you've overlooked when mentioning your friend having a difficult second pregnancy after a smooth first one. A second pregnancy is going to be fundamentally more difficult when she is knackered from looking after another small child.
Well this has been entertaining but I'd better get some rest as now I'm in my 30s, i really should have been asleep hours ago after a nice cup of cocoa.

Timetoask · 22/02/2015 05:16

Brooki, you are focusing too much on biology! Once the child arrives life changes forever, having a stable relationship, a stable home, a established career will make for a happier child.
I also find it sad that this society is underestimating the importance of a father in a child's life.

temporaryusername · 22/02/2015 06:01

Brooki, that doctor your friend saw...? That doctor was talking rubbish. Some doctors do that sometimes, you know.

Stinkersmum · 22/02/2015 06:23

Well, if waiting til I found someone I wanted to get married to, set ourselves up financially, and ttc for a year and finally falling pregnant at the age of 39 makes me selfish, then I am quite happy to be called selfish.
All Brooki seems to know is how to google, cut and paste.....

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 22/02/2015 06:36

I was just popping on to make a Logan's Run reference.
And also to call Brooki an idiot.