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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

23 year old single and have been thinking about having a baby

136 replies

Tannedbarbie1 · 20/02/2015 03:27

Hey girlies,

So I'm 23 years old 24 in may! And I've been thinking about having a child for the past 6 months, i would love to be a mother and have a beautiful baby. But I'm single so don't know if it's the right move. Financially I can definitely do it I work from home so no worries there, but the responsibility does scare me! Most my friends are having babies now and I'd love one, but im single. Alot of my friends have supportive family, i don't really have a big family at all, i only live with my mum and I live miles from the rest of my family. But I know I can do it. If anyone has had these feelings let me know, I get the feeling I wont meet a guy and il leave it to Late

Xxx

OP posts:
Arsenic · 21/02/2015 10:05

That isn't remotely what Armani said.

scottgirl · 21/02/2015 10:16

I had a baby at 23 and a baby at 25 and was shocked at the difference between the two pregnancies and my energy levels etc.

Errrr Strawberry, perhaps because you had a 2 year old to contend with?

sizethree · 21/02/2015 10:23

scottgirl I want to hi five you on that one!

TerryTheGreenHorse · 21/02/2015 10:40

arsenic. Maybe I am being naive here but I thiught Armani was just suggesting meeting some friends without kids to enjoy going out and do all the lovely things that people with babies can't do? It must be frustrating to be single and not have a baby and have no one to hang around with in the same boat.

Holidays weekends aways LIE INS having a wee in peace going out and so forth?

Inhad babies in my thirties and I didn't have complicated pregnancies, ifs great as the toddlers can use my Zimmer frame to play on. Dandy.

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 10:44

I meant this incredibly snooty part Terry;

I don't know anyone who had a baby in their early 20's. I suppose it's just the different circles people move in

Kvetch15 · 21/02/2015 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 11:22

There's a reason you're trying not to use 'circles' Wink

Enormouse · 21/02/2015 12:25

I thought noarmanis post didn't come across well either.

I'm glad you're going to leave it for a bit barbie. I'm sure you'll be a lovely mum in a few years time but life will be easier for you and your future dc if you have the foundations in place.

Goneintohibernation · 21/02/2015 12:53

I would wait a good few years before deciding to go it alone. I don't agree that pregnancy and birth are easier young. It is luck whether you have an easy time of it or not. I was very lucky at 31, and had a very easy time having DS. I have known 18 year old mums having an awful time of it. I don't think it completes you. Although it is wonderful having a child I was a complete person before. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling broody, and wanting to be a mum, but I think rushing into it when circumstances aren't right, and you still have plenty of time would be a mistake.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 21/02/2015 13:50

arsenic. Maybe I am being naive here but I thiught Armani was just suggesting meeting some friends without kids to enjoy going out and do all the lovely things that people with babies can't do? It must be frustrating to be single and not have a baby and have no one to hang around with in the same boat.

Yeah that's exactly what I meant.

Bloody hell, I don't think I'm strong enough for the internet today :(

Brooki25 · 21/02/2015 14:00

I'd say some people are born to be mothers, when, where & who with aren't really the issue. You could wait till you're 30, happily married and find out you can't have children. That's just life. My opinion is yes... My child completes me.
But again I had a nephew before him & believe me, babysitting does not compare.

ImperialBlether · 21/02/2015 14:17

The thing you need to know is that broodiness can hit you at any age and it's incredibly powerful. However, having one child doesn't stop you feeling broody for another. You can literally be holding a very young baby and be broody for another. It's your hormones that make you broody and you do have to be very strong to withstand them.

Someone on here (think it was expat on another thread) called it "baby fever" and she's absolutely right. You can feel like you're going mad with it.

However, realistically you do know that it's much better and easier to have a child with a lovely partner. You know it's better and easier if you have somewhere nice to live. You know it's better and easier if there's a bit of money around (which is usually from having both parents having savings or income.)

Go with your head for now. Use a contraceptive that allows you no last minute 'fuck it' decisions. Don't make someone a father who has no intention or inclination to be a father - that's so unfair on him and on the baby.

In the intervening years focus on healthy relationships, saving money and furthering your career so that when the time comes to have a baby you're in the very best possible position to do so.

MrsWatts · 21/02/2015 15:49

It's great that you feel financially able to have a baby at 23, but you're still living with your mum. Why not wait a while, save up for your own place etc? Get your career established, you're still very young.
Plus, emotionally, having the support of the baby's father would be good.

Droflove · 21/02/2015 17:01

Do your future child a great service and spend this time finding it a fantastic father.

AngryBeaver · 21/02/2015 19:59

What bollocks about it being "age" at 29!
Granted, as you get oldER things deteriorate. But at 29? Pah! Just bad luck.
I know a mum at school (in fact a few) who had a baby at 42, looked far better than me at 36, glowing, happy, healthy...and breezed through it.
I had a nightmare as I have done with every pregnancy since my 20's.

Brooki25 · 21/02/2015 21:23

It's a medical fact!
If you're trying to get pregnant in your 20s, time is on your side – and biology is, too. Your body is ready for pregnancy, and probably will be for a while if you decide to wait to start your family.

That said, pregnancy at any age has advantages and disadvantages. We checked in with fertility specialists, financial consultants, relationship gurus, and 20-something moms to get a realistic picture of what it's like to have a child in your 20s.

Experts say the average woman's fertility peaks in her early 20s. So from a strictly biological perspective, this is the best decade for conceiving and carrying a baby.

Like every woman, you're born with all the eggs you will ever have: about 1 to 2 million. By puberty, your eggs number about 300,000 to 500,000, but your ovaries release only about 300 during your reproductive years.

As you get older, your ovaries age along with the rest of your body and the quality of your eggs gradually deteriorates. That's why a younger woman's eggs are less likely than an older woman's to have genetic abnormalities that cause Down syndrome and other birth defects.

The risk of miscarriage is also far lower: It's about 10 percent for women in their 20s, 12 percent for women in their early 30s, and 18 percent for women in their mid to late 30s. Miscarriage risk jumps to about 34 percent for women in their early 40s, and 53 percent by age 45.

Pregnancy is often physically easier for women in their 20s because there's a lower risk of health complications like high blood pressure and diabetes. You're also less likely to have gynecological problems, like uterine fibroids, which often become more problematic over time.

Finally, younger women are less likely to have premature or low-birth-weight babies than women older than 35.

I would just like to say, this site is a discussion site, everybody has different opinions.
I would never force my opinion on anyone or suggest there own opinion is wrong. It's just rude!

But in my opinion being a young mum is good.... Being a old mum is just pure selfish Smile

brickiemum2 · 21/02/2015 21:35

The last two sentences made me choke on my g&t Grin
I rather hope that you're being purposefully ironic. I rather despair that you are not Confused

TerryTheGreenHorse · 21/02/2015 21:42

Being a young mum obviously doesn't make you a better,person as you have illustrated perfectly.

Brooki25 · 21/02/2015 21:47

Actually I was.

& what did I say there that makes me a bad person exactly?

TerryTheGreenHorse · 21/02/2015 21:56

There are many reasons why someone might not be able or chose to have children in their twenties. Calling people selfish makes you a total dickhead, in my opinion of course.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 21:56

Don't be so fucking stupid. brooki what utter bollocks.

juneybean · 21/02/2015 21:59

OP I was the same as you at 22 but I put it off until 28 and am still trying, you have to do what you feel is right for you. You'll get a lot of people saying to wait you're young but I don't see how that matters really. I personally am happy alone and don't seek a relationship. But the trying is also costly if you want to do it "clinically".

Brooki25 · 21/02/2015 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Arsenic · 21/02/2015 22:10

Brooki

This;

Experts say the average woman's fertility peaks in her early 20s. So from a strictly biological perspective, this is the best decade for conceiving and carrying a baby.

..sounds reasonable.

This;

But in my opinion being a young mum is good.... Being a old mum is just pure selfish

...makes you sound hard of thinking.

TerryTheGreenHorse · 21/02/2015 22:11

Brooki your making yourself sound more unpleasant and quite frankly thick with every post.

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