Immune / natural killer cell treatment when ttc or pregnant (aka the 15th pred thread)

[sunnyday01]

This is a thread for those diagnosed with high or very high natural killer cells and trying to concieve or are pregnant and taking steroids/intralipids etc

Newcomers very welcome

Ps I've got pink when I wipe now :(

Has anyone had brown spotting and mild crampy feelings and gone on to have a baby? Googling gives me mostly reason to be anxious. I know I can't know until more evidence either way but bad feeling :( Def going to ask for another scan next week.

Hi Rosa,

From what I've heard it can go either way! Loads of women say they've had cramping and bleeding and been fine. It's always a wait and see approach :(

Thanks drttc .. I know I can't get any reassurance here or by googling but on a Sunday there's nothing else I can do and my anxiety levels are through the roof.. Need to put some classical music on or something. If only a glass of wine were allowed! X

Rosa - hang in there. I had brown spotting with ds for 3 days after my 12 wk scan and could barley dare to breath but all was fine. It could be cervical irritation and not coming from uterus at all. I think progesterone supplements make that more likely esp if using them vaginally (could change to alternative route if so). Just keep breathe and keep positive thoughts. Lots of hugs.

Thanks Hula. I'm clinging onto hope but had a hyperventilating crying session and feel it's over... I have been cold and hot today and after bring constipated for days had loose bowels (sorry tmi). I can feel my uterus - not sore as such but it does feel more like it's breaking down than stretching. The tiny bits are brown and slightly yellow (again tmi sorry). I just feel so devastated naturally and again scared... My DH goes away first thing for work .. And not told anyone else. Thanks for writing. Appreciate it so much. I hope I'm wrong but now think the brown I saw earlier in the week was the start of things going wrong and perhaps it was cruel luck to see a HB. :( x

Oh Rosa it s just so hard and unfair that you are going through this. I can undrrstand why you are so scared but it s not over yet and that means there s still hope.

Maybe try and focus on sending all that love you already have to your little bean and if (and that is still only if) the worst happens you will know that your bubs could not have felt more loved and wanted that he/she clearly is.

You are so strong to be where you are in this journey that you must believe you can survive this, whatever the outcome.

I m praying so hard that everything is ok.

Hope you can get some rest tonight

Thanks Hula. It's just every sign is a bad one now. I've googled everything and seeing as I'm on a tmi theme .. When I put the cyclogest in I noticed my cervix had dropped which is meant to be bad news too.
I soooo hope I'm wrong but it's impossible right now to feel positive. I will send my wee bean my love anyway. I don't think I could wish for anything more but I really don't think I'm strong enough to carry on this particular journey if no reasons to do anything that might help more. Just so physically, mentally and most of all emotionally drained :( thanks so much for your kind words xxx

Hi Rosa, I had loads of pains in uterus in first 12 weeks with both pregnancies as well as lower back pain. I also had spotting with this pregnancy which I'm wondering was to do with cyclogest. It is horrible you have to go through this but it is such a good sign there was a heartbeat. Even though you lost your pregnancies later than this before nothing changes the fact that the scan looked good. Did you have scans at this stage with your other pregnancies? I know with my miscarriages, even if there was a heartbeat something always looked off at the scan. The ones where everything was spot on at the scan worked out. Sending you a big hug, xxxx

Thanks Hope. Was your spotting brown (and 'coffee granule' like- this Is how I've read online it can be described!) Mine has been and last Wed started with lots of cm too which I also doubt is a good thing- which was why was so shocked to see a HB. I had a good scan at 7.5 with first preg.. Then must have failed at 9.3 and picked up at 11.5. So I agree with what you're saying, just know Fri was a snapshot in time. I've so many feelings and symptoms telling me this is failing and nothing positive anymore except no red blood. But all my miscarriages took a while to actually happen - most being 'missed'. I had a massive breakdown last night and just feel numb today. Going to try do some work from my bed on my laptop but it's hard to care about anything when you feel like this as I'm sure you all know x

Thinking of you Rosa and hope you can distract yourself a bit today. Just hang in there. Xx

Oh rosa I'm sorry sorry to read what you're going through, such a roller coaster of emotions too. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better but try and stay positive because you never know and look after yourself x

Hi rosa, the increased cm is a good sign. That happens at the start when your body is making the mucous plug. I would argue that the spotting isn't an issue when accompanied by a good scan. My spotting was just brown when I wiped after going to the loo. Freaked me out massively but it was nothing. Could your spotting be a bladder infection? It doesn't sound like a miscarriage but i know they are all different. It sounds to me like your body is doing lots to get ready for the baby! I know how hard it is though. I spent most of the first 3 months being really anxious about miscarrying and even now worry about everything going wrong. My DH still won't discuss names because he is worried about tempting fate. I think we worry as a way of protecting ourselves but also because our bodies like to torment us! When is your next scan? Just have one every week until you are at 12 weeks. In the meantime you are doing everything you possibly can be, xxx

Well girls today i turn the dreaded 40 and just got a bfn , expected it as didnt feel pg and i m 14dpo so af should arrive 2morrow and then need to take 2nd dose of humira. On the positive side got my progesterone result from day 21 and it was 64 so at least thats ok.
Really hope i m not going to run out of time tho.......anyone take or know of any sucess stories with DHEA ? Dh is happy to give it another 6mns and then that ll be it and since we ve decided against ivf just feel i want to do everything i can to help it happen naturally.

Rosa hope you are bearing up. Hugs to you. X

Oh Happy Birthday Hula!! Sorry you got a bfn but glad some positive news with progesterone results. Hope you managed to do nice things and you can at least enjoy a drink. Really hope the next month works out for you. I'm 40 in just over a year and still no children. I wonder if it will never be now of course. My worrying symptoms continue. No breast tenderness, nausea and feel I'm peeing less. Brown comes and goes - as it did before other miscarriages. And on top of dull cramps, and just feeling less pregnant I have had a headache which I never get. I was hysterical crying last night but think I needed it- it had been such a build up of keeping it together and this journey has been years, I just felt if this is it how sad it's all for nothing. But at least somehow my DH and I have got through it and stronger. I'm do lucky to have him.
Hope I so appreciate you trying to keep me positive but for all the reasons above I just feel I can't. Plus I just mentally and emotionally can't do the yoyo-ing anymore. I feel I might literally go mad. I don't know what I will say to you all if I get to my Thursday scan and things are miraculously good.. I guess I will continue to be a nervous wreck until I had the baby .. But though it pains me to think this never mind write it, I feel the signs are preparing me for the worst.
Hoping everyone else is doing ok xxx

Oh rosa, I know how horrible it is and I'm sending you such a big hug. It is awful you are going through this. I lost all my pregnancy symptoms at six weeks and it was enough for me to tell DH and my mum that I had definitely miscarried. I wouldn't even discuss the possibility that I might not have done with them. You are going through something horrible at the moment but soon you will better know where you are with things and that will help. In the meantime get through it whichever way you can. Just don't stop taking the medication! I almost stopped it the day before my good scan as I thought there was no point. Nightmare!

Thanks Hope. Im not really feeling well enough to be in work which is a worry as don't know how long that will last- the pains are more than uncomfortable. Anyway at least am able to do some work from home so not obsessing all day. All stages of this journey are bloody hard aren't they. Hoping I will be forgiven for so many meltdowns xx

We all support you, Rosa!! We're here for the meltdowns AND the victories :) Don't ever feel guilty because we aren't like other people. We're eternally interested and invested in everything our group goes through- and I think we're better for it!

You're so sweet - thanks Drttc. It's true.. It's so great to have people there that get it. I'm taking my pred swollen tummy to bed now. Good night everyone x

Just checking in and sorry Rosa for the anxiety you have been going through but well said Drttc! We are a special group of ladies that completely understand what it's like! Always here for you

Happy birthday hula! Sorry no bfp pressure but I hope you managed to celebrate with something and got spoilt rotten?

Sunny am sorry about all your challenges lately, remember to give yourself some time to process everything and work on you.

I can honestly say me having a break from it all and focussing on me because I want to focus on me for my sake and not me for having a baby's sake is the best thing I have ever done. For the first time in 18 months I am positive, feel healthy and depression of everything has massively gone! I actually want to see people now instead of hide away and am enjoying life. Granted still have shit days and am sad for not having a family (yet) but giving me time to get my fitness back, get rid of my steroid bloat and spots and laugh and have fun and spend my brain time on fun things is making me stronger every day! no way of knowing it it will help with my goal of family but it's sure making me enjoy, friends, family and life a lot more as I felt I was wasting my life/wasn't worth it anymore I was thT bad! Hopefully a bit of a break for you will really help xxx
Hi to everyone else!!
Xxxx

You guys are great
And what an uplifting message Determined. I feel inspired.. But a little envious of your energy and zest;)
My latest problem is .... Mice! I saw one on the kitchen floor today. Jeez. They are dangerous too are they not in terms of things you can catch. Like I needed something else to stress about! Looking up pest control.. Live in an old building :-S x

Ps scan today showed I'm still 'ok'. 7+1. Going to try just update weekly and keep my stresses to myself! Wish me luck! X

Rosa you keep beating your fears!! Amazing!

What did the say in terms of growth? Did the bean look on target for what they were expecting?

Great news Rosa ! Just take it week by week but don t feel you can t share your worries. We re here for each other and if sharing can help reduce your stress then its makes a positive contribution to help your little bean grow strong and healthy which we all want so much for you.

So in the interest of transparency in this TTC journey I'm going to share I've felt nauseous & crampy for the last few days & had a very faint pink wipe today. AF is due in exactly a week. I don't want to even remotely get my hopes up, but it's to the point where I need to acknowledge these symptoms!

I've not taken the pred. I've decided I'm taking at BFP because I don't want to risk messing up my cycle!