ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #3

[northdownmummy]

looking forward to new beginnings in the new year

guy my body hasn't been the same since either. Everything is different at every stage. I really hope it settles soon for us both. You'll just have to dtd for a bit longer if ttc this month!

yes guy just dtd every other or every three days i read somewhere that is the best way due to sperm life egg life etc i was googling all the best ways the other day when bored

I have had zero ewcm since the Mirena came out, but prior to having it put in, it was 3-4 days of it. We haven't DTD since Wednesday and FF predicted Sunday-Wednesday as my ovulation time. Have been too tired with poorly DDs. Wondering if we've missed the boat this month but we did DTD every day from Friday to Wednesday.

Hello everyone, hope you are all ok today.

Positive ov this morning and dh nowhere to be found. Feeling really fed up. I spent most of last year being pregnant and having mc, so it feels. Or dealing with due dates and wtf cycles. Things finally all settled down since mc in September and now can't get pregnant again. I know so many of us are in this boat but just wanted a moan really. Another two baby bombs last night, feels like everyone I know is pregnant.

brummie hug for you.

What's everyone up to today?

Allthequeens - sending an enormous un-mumsnetty hug your way. AF arrived at the stroke of midnight last night. All my close friends are either pregnant or have young babies, so I can definitely empathise.

Got invited to a baby shower for one of my friends yesterday (who is due a week after my first EDD in March) but I've decided (somewhat controversially) not to attend. I just can't face loads of excited pregnancy chat right now.

Oh cariad, massive hug back. There is no way I could go to a baby shower just now. No way. I'm sure they will understand, I would if it was ever me.

Hi all, just hanging about as I should be doing some coursework for my Masters but really can't be bothered as I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I MC at the beginning of September, my cycle's still a bit all over the place, AF turned up 5 days late, one of my colleague's has announced she's preggers so loadsa maternity and baby talk in the office, and to top it off, I've got a big puffy conjuctivitus eye. Bah humbug!

Oh cariad. Big love to you. I think you've been very brave to say no... I'm a people pleaser!

Heaven that sounds really tough... and I've had conjunctivitis recently too.. awful! Chocolate for you X

I have a bit of a weird one to ask. Please be honest and tell me if I'm getting too ahead of myself. ...... I've started building a bit of a bottom draw.. I spotted a unisex baby gro I fell in love with and bought it.. and i also have two other baby bits I've put in there ..... It seems like a logical thing to do financially but now thinking that I'm a bit nuts buying stuff for a theoretical baby. . . I'm not purposely seeking this stuff out... but a sucker for a bargain.

Hello, sorry I haven't contributed much to this thread. I am feeling quite confused right now about everything.

After I thought I'd ov'd before Christmas I was going to wait until AF had passed and then start ttc in earnest next cycle. Then I had that weird mass of brown ewcm last week that I thought was the start of my period. But AF hasn't arrived. So maybe the brown was ov. It's now 8 weeks since the mc and I thought I'd be on a new cycle by now. We haven't dtd since the mc so def no surprise BFP on the cards. Guess I just have to wait and see. Wish we had dtd now.

This might sound stupid but I'm a bit worried that I haven't really felt anything since it all happened. I mean I've not even cried. I thought it would 'hit me' at some point but it hasn't. I don't want to create a problem if actually I am just fine and over it but it seems odd, unlikely. DH said I seemed very brittle at the moment. I feel like I am being a bit ratty with him and DS and maybe it's because I haven't really addressed what's happened? I don't know, it seems so silly. Once or twice on the way to work the thought has popped into my head, shall I go to the doctor instead and tell them I'm not coping. But of course I've just kept driving and carried on as normal. I mean I am coping, but it's like there's a small part of me inside that isn't.

I don't know if any of that makes sense. Sorry for such a self centred post.

Thanks chasing, I've had already had a medicinal cupcake :).

I've got a "new housemate" category on You Need a Budget that I'm putting money aside each month (can't quite bring myself to call it "baby savings" yet). I've also got some baby hand-me-downs stashed at the MILs, not strong enough to have them in the house yet in case I just end up staring in that drawer and crying. I think you're approach is definately more positive than mine and shows how strong you are in coping with MC :):)

Jupiter I think by nature of the threads we all dip in and out as we need too. It's so hard. It sounds like things are still raw and I think the hardest time is waiting/the first cycle after. I'd go to the dr and just mention it. X

Heaven I'm 3 months on now from when I mc and things have just suddenly felt so much better. Those first 6/8weeks after I just felt a mess. I remember thinking I'd never feel better. You don't get over it but you do feel better. About 2 weeks or so ago my dd told her great grandfather was looking after our star (the baby) ..It was completely unexpected and this wave of peace just rolled over me.. I can't explain it. She's only 3 so has no reason to say such a thing. If anyone else would have said it I'd be all ... yeah ok.. whatever! But it was like she knew. She was very matter of fact about it. I am very lucky to have dd.. she's really pulled me through this.

I also set up a savings acc.. but I know how costly baby stuff is. . I've weirdly got to this place where I am just utterly convinced next time It's going to be just fine. I hope I'm right!

Hi all. Today Allthequeenshorses I have been initially hoping the snow stuck and when it did, went sledging and snowballing with my DS. I LOVE THE SNOW! !!!!

Hugs to those being baby bombed & pregnancy surrounded cariad , Allthequeenshorses & heaven. A colleague has her first grandchild due when I would have been so there's always excitement there which is heartbreaking.

chasing your positivity is lovely to hear!

msJ a chat to your dr can't hurt.

So. What tips or things are we doing to increase chances of BFP? I lie down for about half an hour after dtd if possible. And am trying to increase my fruit intake (up 2 from 0 ) Also going knicker free at night to try to prevent thrush. Others?

Also meant to add to the above essay that OH feels much more on side for ttc again

Hi everyone. Sorry to hear a few of you are having a rough time.

I'm really struggling with how broken ny body seems to be post MC in August. My cycles are so long and this past week I've had so many pains in my ovaries/uterus area. I've been so uncomfortable and it's making it impossible not to think of when I'm going to be pregnant again. I've got another 10 days of the 2ww left.

chasing I've got a babygrow bookmarked on my phone, it's unisex with little embroidered rainbows on for when I finally get my rainbow baby

That's wonderfully sweet Melon. I might look for a rainbow one too.

re pains. I get what feel like really specific left/right pains and every time my mind goes straight to baby thoughts. I wonder if ill always have heightened sensitivity now?

chasing, I'm 3 months on from my mc too. We're trying for our first and I turn 35 soon, so even though I know that the chances are in our favour that my next pregnancy will be fine, I'm petrified that I'll have to experience another mc. Difficult to be positive when my head's in that space.

I too am terrified. And i truly think if it happens next time, we will be a family of 3. I can't do this again.

Right now, I can't imagine getting to the booking in app, first scan etc.

But I am forcing it deep. it will be okay next time it has to be. Like daily affirmations. Xx

Evening ladies.

Gr33 I love snow too (I'm from Eastern Europe originally and we have really snowy winters sometimes), but over here we only had a bit of sleet and that's it. Boo...

Got my mat exemption cert through post today Have to send it back...

My bleeding has reduced a lot what seems like overnight, didn't even fill a pad today. I hope it's a good sign.

Forgot to call EPU yesterday to "tell how I'm doing", so will have to call on Monday. If all is going well I think I'd rather not have a scan if I can help it. It's a bit hard logistically to get there, and I just don't want to go back there.

Very hard day emotionally, I don't know why. DS quite whingey and grumpy, maybe teething, but couldn't see anything, so a bit hard work. Had a bit of a wobble when he kept screaming and wanted to be picked up, all I wanted was to finish my tea... Feel like I'm an ungrateful cow, but everything seems a bit too much at the moment.

for Cariad. Another welshie here!
2015 will be your year xx

Just dipping in, DDs birthday party was the afternoon and we have DNeph and DSS tonight as well as my DDs so its a tad chaotic here which is exactly how I like it hence wanting more children I am probably a bit mental

Oh bloody baby showers, I've never been to one and I've already warned all females in my family that if they throw me on I will fall out with kill them.

Chasing I have a few bits that I've picked up in the sales and will be starting to buy more from February onwards But I gave away all of my baby stuff 2 years ago as I was adamant I was having no more so we have to start entirely from scratch.

I'm also 3 month past my MC. I found the 2 month mark harder than when it happened. I cried all the time and everyone else had moved on and i felt totally alone in my grief. I'm okay now but very obsessed with TTC, when to do it, how to do it.. DP is being very understanding considering.

I lent some of DS's baby stuff out and got it all back yesterday. Made me sad sorting through it wondering if/when we'll have another baby to fill the clothes. I don't think your weird for buying. If it gives you a little comfort to have started a draw then it can only be a good thing.

I'm CD17, i think i ovulated yesterday which is 2 days later than normal. We've been shagging like rabbits so lets hope it's paid off.

Thanks FiFi. Sending you way too. I really hope 2015 is the year for everyone on this thread.

Haribo - I'm in exactly the same boat re:obsessing about ttc - I was nowhere near as bad until I experienced my first loss.

Hugs to everyone struggling - it's a hard, horrid journey but it does ease with time. You never forget but the energy sapping, gut wrenching, total absorption does eventually relent s bit. Since Christmas I feel more at peace with our two mc in 2014, although that might wobble when I reach first edd, in feb.

Currently driving myself and dh utterly insane wondering when to test. Cd 32 today, AF last month arrived cd 36 but that was wtf after week 7 mc and hcg was still high. During ttc, cycle had varied from 19 to 29 days, and when ttc my dd, from 23 to 33 days. I would wait until cd 35 but DH is away early next week, so only options with him here are Monday (cd33) or Thursday (cd36 and day of my job interview....). Scared to test too early and fall apart if negative but also scared to wait. My head's a total mess - which isn't helping with job interview prep I should be doing!

Sorry that was a silly rant but needed to get it out somewhere.

Hope you all keep warm today and see some winter sunshine. Brrrrr!