Struggling to conceive No.2 after getting pregnant easily first time round

[Metalhead]

Still here, still struggling on, still hoping to get there in the end. Come on ladies, we'll all get our BFPs in 2015 (if not before)!

Hi ladies. Very quiet on here lately!

Well I had my laparoscopy yesterday. Turns out the reason I don't have any symptoms of pcos or endo is because I don't have it! No blocked tubes either. So the whole thing was a waste of time. So annoyed and confused after the consultant had scanned me and said I had 'classic pcos' and then to go there yesterday and be told there were no cysts. Was so hoping that this would be my miracle cure but as they've only had a look around it's clearly not going to be.

Guess we're going to have to decide whether to gamble £5k on one round of ivf or not ...

Wow Brindler - what terrible mis-diagnosing. It's great there's nothing wrong, but I completely understand that it's also massively disappointing because there's nothing there to fix. I had exactly the same feeling after a scan and hsg both coming back to suggest no problems. If there are no problems then why the hell aren't we pregnant already? I can't remember how long you've been trying but for me it's coming up 2 years, so I'm pretty much thinking it's never going to happen. And I'm now 40, which isn't exactly in my favour either, and makes that £5k gamble more like £7k and much less likely to work. Not ready to get rid of the baby stuff yet, but I'm really not seeing a future with two children any more. It can stay in the loft another year or so and then maybe I'll be ready to move on..... For you, there is some evidence that people are more likely to get pregnant in the first 2-3 months after an investigation - as if flushing out the tubes somehow makes things work a bit better. Didn't work for me after my hsg though obviously, but hopefully it'll be an unintended side effect for you.

Hope you're doing ok metal? High blood pressure sounds a bit scary for you - although hopefully it'll have been an artefact of a stressful trip to the Dr (that's happened to me before and a bp monitor showed my bp was fine except when I went for my appointment!). Have you got a date for your scan? Hope so and hope all's feeling as it should. And for all you other pregnant lurkers - now you've worked so hard to get there, I do hope it's all going smoothly.

You sound very similar to me Little! I have tonnes of baby clothes/toys etc that I'm not ready to part with 'just in case'. Only trouble is I'm running out of space to store them all! We were 2 years trying in March so now entering year 3. My best friend had her 12 wk scan today so I am now officially the only one in our group without a dc2 or one on the way ?? Doesn't help when my dd is constantly asking for a baby sister, breaks my heart.

Just don't know what to do about the ivf. Said I'd never go that far but now I'm faced with it and it could be our only chance I don't know. But it's £5k we haven't got and such a big risk of it not working first time (especially with the way my luck goes!). Maybe I'll give it 3 more months and then decide (sorry I'm now just thinking out loud!)

I know exactly what you mean about the ivf. I thought about it really seriously at the end of last year and was just about to make am appointment then changed my mind. The main thing is that not knowing how many cycles you'd need and whether you'd be able to just have one go then not feel compelled to keep going and going. I couldn't take the stress. But then part of me keeps niggling that it might work and we'd get a baby so I think about it all over again. There's no right answer is there, but right now I'm keener to be sane and happy with my ds than I am to put us all through all of that, potentially for nothing. I don't do hormones very well so I'm sure I'd be a nightmare. But what if it got me pregnant - all worth it then?

Hi all, I"m still lurking too crossing everything for you all. Had a second scan and found strong heartbeat- am 9 weeks now so getting closer to the relax point.
Brindler that's terrible about your misdiagnosis but good too I guess. Good luck to you both whatever you decide about IVF, huge decision to make.
Keep checking in hoping to see BFPs for you very soon xxx

Hello folks, glad to see some action back on here.

Brindler I can't believe you've been through all that for a misdiagnosis. How awful.

That makes 3 of us in the IVF deliberation boat. We're giving it 3 months then getting DH checked again to see if anything has changed and then taking it from there. He's taking vitamins, eating the right stuff etc, so hopefully it'll help, though the embryologist I spoke to told me not to expect miracles. Was a bit frustrating trying to even get to speak to someone as the administrator wanted to reject our referral until she had written confirmation that we'd be self funding. When I pointed out that someone would need to tell us what the options were before we decided whether we wanted to pay she didn't seem to get it...

So related to that, can I ask, have you had to pay for your laparoscopies? The administrator seemed to suggest that would be the case if we wanted to go further, that I'd need some tests and we'd have to pay for them.

We're in the 2 week wait now, though it's a long shot so I'm really not expecting anything to come of it. It has sort of taken the pressure off. Am now just looking forward to my holiday on Saturday, though expect my period to arrive while we're away, which is a bit inconvenient...

Hi burning. It'll be interesting to see if your dh's results change. I wonder if my dh should test again now he's been on man vitamins a few months. Although I'm not sure what difference that would make to know. Another thing to think about. I didn't have to pay for my scan or hsg but they were a referral from my hospital consultant to see if I was working properly. I was then discharged from her so if I wanted a lap or any other testing then I'd have to pay. Does that help? They're not very interested in helping once you already have a child so we're a bit left out of all the free stuff. I was also wondering about getting that amh test - anti mullerian hormone. I need to read up a bit more, but isn't it meant to give an idea of egg quality or ovarian reserve or something. I guess if that came back fine I might be more spurred on to take action. Anyone know about it?

Morning all,

Burning, my lap was on the nhs. Was given the option of having it at my last appointment when I was told about the pcos. He said I could have that or go straight for ivf. Decided to take whatever was available on the nhs! From appointment to having it done was less than a month (even if it was a waste of time!) Totally lost faith in this consultant now though, but one more follow up appointment when I'll be questioning him about his misdiagnosis and then we'll have to go private

Sorry Little must have been typing my post as you sent yours! I had the amh test done at my last appointment as consultant had said one of my ovaries looked small which could indicate a lower reserve. He said he would write to me with the results but not heard anything yet. Guess I've actually been quite lucky after all to have all this done on the nhs!

Well, lucky apart from the scaring the crap out of you by telling you you had pcos when you didn't! But yes - the misdiagnosis at least let you have some further investigations done.

Having a lovely unexpected afternoon off today. DS was poorly at nursery yesterday so we kept him off, but he's absolutely fine so we're playing in the sunshine! Shhhh - don't tell my office.....

Hmm, I'm not sure how to get anything done on the NHS now then. My tests came back fine, pretty much, though I don't have confidence that they were done at the right point in the cycle. When we get DH's results back I might ask for some more blood tests or a referral for a blood test at the ACU. I assume if we say at any point that we’re willing to pay then there's no going back.

The embryologist told me that results can fluctuate and that stress is a factor. She recommended testing again quickly actually, but we're off on our hols etc then have a complicated few months so thought we might as well leave it a bit and see if anything has changed. If it hasn't then I think that's pretty definitive and we're not likely to push for interventions. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Really glad to have found this thread.

Ahh me too Burning! My friends must be sick of me moaning about it - now I get to moan to you guys instead!! ??

And me! I'm missing some of the pregnant people though (that means you metal. And you crispie). Between you all you keep me much saner than I was before, despite the months rolling by. x

Ahh, I miss you ladies too little! It would've been so nice if we could all have got our BFPs at the same time... but I'm sure you will get there eventually, there've been quite a few BFPs over on the 10 months+ thread recently so there must be something in the water!

As for me, I'm 6 weeks today and the nausea has started to kick in, my boobs are massive and sore and I'm knackered all the time. Still waiting on my scan date, but had a call from the midwife yesterday who said she'd chase it up for me.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Well what a love in we're having! I don't talk to anyone in real life about this stuff, I'm a very private person and couldn't stand the pity. So it's great to come on here and chat about it. I've learned a lot!

Got my tooth fixed this afternoon and am off on my hols tomorrow, where I will be drinking wine and eating rare steaks. So it's not all bad! I may pop in, but if not, have a great fortnight all.

Have a great holiday Burning!

Glad to hear you're doing ok metal - I guess once you get a bfp the 2ww turns into the 12 week wait!

I'm still lurking!! And sending bfp vibes! I'm now at 16 weeks. Harmony came back low risk so it's so far so good. A friend got bfp a few weeks ago at 46!! Good luck to everyone still trying xx

Crispie that's brilliant news. You must be relieved. And amazing to get pregnant at 46! Hope all goes well for her too. We're in shagging season but dh is being a grumpy git so the chances of him getting any this evening are rapidly diminishing....

Hi ladies, I hope you're all doing well? Just a quick update from me: had my early scan today at 6+6, bean is measuring bang on dates and we saw its little heartbeat so all looking good so far! Been feeling really rough this week, like I've got a constant hangover, but as long as everything's ok I won't complain.

Ahh metal that's fab news! You must be so relieved. So happy for you. Hope I get there in the end too.

Had last month off from trying (as in literally did not dtd once all month!) Was actually bliss not having to stress about it all or have any kind of hope that I might be. But back in the saddle this month!

Keep us updated metal and hope the feeling rough ends soon!

Yay metal and mini metal! Such good news. Have you got another scan before 12 weeks or is that it now? And feeling rough is a great sign so I'm afraid I'm happy about that too, in the nicest possible way. x

Hi metal. Do you mind me asking how long you were ttc before you got your bfp? I always like to hear of good news stories when they have taken a while!!

Thanks ladies! I will book another private scan for when I'm 10 weeks little, I think if everything's still ok at that point I might be able to relax a bit.

joey I got my BFP on cycle 11 after my mmc, and for the pregnancy we lost we'd been ttc 4 cycles. All in all it took over 18 months as I had irregular and sometimes quite long cycles.

Just jumping on to say an absolutely huge Congratulations to metal!! I am over the moon for you, it is just fantastic to see those two little lines for you metal Great to hear that it all went well at your scan too, hope it is plain sailing from here on out. I felt like I had a constant hangover for the first few months too so it's a good sign.
to all the other thread oldies too, hope you are ok.
Hello to the newbies too, quite a few of us long timers from this thread have had our BFPs now, you will all get there in the end!

Hello, can I join the three please :) DH and I have been TTC for another baby since June last year after falling pregnant with DD (now 4) without even trying! I had the copper coil fitted so was floored but delighted to find out we were expecting. Thought it would happen within a few months but nothing so far :( Congratulations to all who have gotten their BFPs and fingers crossed for all still trying x