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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35

999 replies

jellypi3 · 07/12/2014 16:44

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 33 is here

The current Grads Fred is here

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is here. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy Christmas shagging, shaggers!
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Thread gallery
14
jellypi3 · 17/12/2014 11:06

Hey Bother glad to hear you are feeling a bit better :)

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BothersomeB · 17/12/2014 11:07

Waves back at Tink Xmas Grin

Thanks poochie - yes, work girls are lovely, and apparently getting drunk and crying is a festive must, so who am I to disagree?

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 11:10

well to be fair it would be a bit rude to disagree at christmas time hehehe

jellypi3 · 17/12/2014 11:16

Lol :)

I swear to god AF just needs to hurry up and arrive. I keep feeling a lot of movement down "there" but nada happening in the pants department! Grrrr

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Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 11:21

jelly i think our Af's are living up to their "witch" names - probably even hiding out together just to wind us up!! the toilet downstairs at my sisters wobbles like a... (i don't know what!) and needs fixing so i have to keep running upstairs!! on the brightside am getting my exercise!

jellypi3 · 17/12/2014 11:34

My toilet is the other side of the office, and I am making such regular dashes to it at the moment people are starting to give me funny looks!

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Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 11:51

oh my!!!! you may have to roll out the old faithful "water infection" line! lol

TinkerBlue · 17/12/2014 12:33

Today is a good day! Not only is missing cat found but we now also have heating and hot water after 3 weeks without!! Maybe my run of rotten luck is on the turn!

jelly pooch honey and all you pissers, I'm sending my lucky vibes your way!

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 12:35

yay to the missing cat coming home!
i cant believe it's been 3 weeks you've been without heating and hot water. I'd like to think i could "man-up"and deal with no heating but no hot water would be a deal breaker for me! so massive congratulations!!!!

thank you for the vibes Xmas Grin

Bibble19 · 17/12/2014 14:37

Hello Ain, Lil, Honey and Tinker and all others

Slowest cycle ever continuing, some spotting this morning, but otherwise think I'm having a similar experience to you Jelly!

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 14:43

is it tonight that is your christmas night out bibble? if the spotting stays away are you planning poas again soon? (am sending kitten vibes to you!)

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 15:50

omg what the funking heck is wrong with me - i don't cry - not since i've been on anti-depressants (12 months) but i've just read someone got a bfp on the ff forum and i've proper welled up!!

we need some stick action in here viroids, i can't wait for the next couple of days!!

lildottie · 17/12/2014 17:36

jelly you can go here to add me as a friend on ff.

thanks viroids. I can't believe I'm nearly there. I want to get all the drugs out and just stare at them. I'm desperate to start injecting! very odd haha!

bother good to know you're still with all functioning parts. hope you fet back to the grads thread quickly and stay there next time.

it really is about time for another bfp on here!

BothersomeB · 17/12/2014 17:42

Ha lil - I've never been so pleased to be told to go away and not come back! Xmas Grin

Jcandy · 17/12/2014 17:51

Evening all Smile Glad to see the Fred is busier today!

Bother nice to hear from you, hope everything gets back to normal quickly for you so you can try again and leave us next cycle

jelly enjoy your Christmas party tonight Smile

lil it's so exciting that's it's so close for you! I can't wait till you get your bfp!

poochie sounds like hormones to me GX it's the ones relating to a bfp

Well after getting excited yesterday my temp has stayed down today so no ovulation yet. FF is still thinking I might ovulate today so hoping for a temp rise in the morning

batfish · 17/12/2014 18:50

Oh my goodness I am SO stressed out - we fly back to the UK on Fri morning. Tomorrow I will have to work for about 16 hours to have any hope at all of getting done what I need to before I am off. I have bought pretty much no Xmas presents and won't have time when we are at home as we are busy meeting up with people. Haven't even thought about packing - not even sure all the clothes I want to take are clean, been far too busy!! Argghhhh - please tell me to breathe and it will all be fine!

jellypi3 · 17/12/2014 19:02

Breath bat!!!!!

My Xmas party was lovely, food was so good. Check out what I had!!

So full now though. And still no AF! CD 25 Oo yeh!

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jellypi3 · 17/12/2014 19:03

Oops food attached

On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35
On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35
On The 12th Day of Xmas My Viroids Gave To Me 12 OPKs 11 New Positions 10 Symptom Spots 9 Pics Of Cats 8 TMI's 7 Shag Stories 6 Cervix Positions 5 Temp Charts 4 Hooyas 3 DPO 2 Gx and an Xmas BFP!JS 35
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Muddytoes1 · 17/12/2014 19:04

Hey Batfish sounds crazy! Keep cool and carefully work your way through it. If you get stuck for presents get gift vouchers (they're boring but I love receiving them). I sometimes get people Ticketmaster vouchers which always go down well. You'll get it all done but don't lose your head. If in doubt get wine Wine

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 19:10

breath bat! panicking is counter productive! you can do this! and what you can't do, tough! like Muddy days gift voucher it! people will understand!

jelly OMG!! I think you've managed to actually make me want food for the 1st time today!!!! that looks divine!!?

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 19:22

oh dear cm is definitely darker than cream now (at last wipe) creamy with very feint pinky/brown colourisation. thinks it's safe to assume AF is going to be here tomorrow bang on time! :-/ hey yo!

Poochieblue · 17/12/2014 19:22

hey Ho! not yo lol x

honeybeebumble · 17/12/2014 19:31

Everything will be fine bat - I'm a big believer in lists, if that helps? Writing it all down is somehow therapeutic (that might just be me).

Jelly that looks delish.

Latest update from me - while first bloods were fine, second one came back saying I've had (they think) an anovulatory cycle so doc got me in again for another test for progesterone today (CD25), just in case my body is being slow. I think I've either had anovulatory cycles since coming off the pill a year ago (which would explain the pathetic excuse for AF that I have - it's regular(ish) but dark brown and sometimes really light). Apparently it can take some people up to 15 months to adjust after coming off bcp (who knew?!). OR I'm ovulating but not producing enough progesterone (is that possible?). My BBT rises have been dubious since I've been tracking (four months out of the nine we've been trying).

Like the rest of you viroids I'm having huge bump envy and it seems that I know A LOT of pregnant women, and a lot of them who have done complete kittens!

Feel a little bit like my body is failing me, but at least these blood tests are the start of finding out more and trying to fix things.

lil self-injecting? Is this all part of the IVF? I had no idea!

Long post. It's been a while since I've been on here (again). Sorry!

gaggiagirl · 17/12/2014 20:03

jelly food looks amazing, what did you have?
tink get yourself to the hobbit you won't regret it. I would go again alone no problem.

jellypi3 · 17/12/2014 20:28

Aww bum sounds hectic. Gx it gets sorted soon!

ga I had crab and mango salad to start, steak and peppe corn sauce for main and home made prefiteroles for dessert, plus lot and lots of wine. And I'm still hungry... Da fuq?

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