ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

Sorry Amy forget to add that bit as Jupiter said - preseed emulates the right kind of cervical mucus to allow "safe passage" of the sperm and keep all the oh level correct.

Conceive plus does same thing

10dpo, FMU, BFN :( :( :( I know it's early but I just think I'm out

Thanks Brummie, that's ok it was after I went on their website on my phone the only page it would show just said it was a lube! I eventually found the right page to say the same as you ladies have :) Although I can't find how often you should use it... I'm not too sure when I would ovulate so is it to be used every time you dtd or just around ovulation time? How are you feeling hun? x

Ahh Daisy Sorry for the BFN but you're right it is still a bit early x

Guy so sorry to hear that things ramped up in intensity for you. Hope the scan shows that most has passed.

lucy I was similar - dreaded going back to work but I actually found the distraction a big help.

Somebody mentioned Evening Primrose Oil - can you tell me a bit more about it and the possible benefits?

I've just ordered some pre-seed, trying to stay positive and look forward to next month. I'm not the most patient person at the best of times so this is a real challenge. Trying hard not to take my grumpiness out on DH.

Still not AF, but all those BFN cant be wrong so I'm just in the waiting game. My cycle was always so regular in the past. So far its been 28d/27d/29 and still counting. I know its a bit of an overreaction but I'm feeling like my body is useless and letting me down.

Lots of stress at work for the last few weeks, Thanksgiving should give a bit of breathing space thank goodness,

Morning Ladies

I have not been on much recently but you have all been so supportive to me over the last year.

It was just a wee update to say I have my first appointment with a specialist this afternoon after a 3 month wait. As some of you may remember I have had 2 mc this year and one possible early mc. The Dr felt I should be referred in September so here we are. Part of me kind of hoped I would get a bfp before today but af came with force as always. seems to take me a few cycles to settle after each mc.

Feeling ok but just seems to consume you. I have been struggling more this month as first bfp would have been due. Feel like I have spent the entire year doing what if.

Hope you are all well and I will update later although I am sure that I am pinning all my hopes on what will be a very brief appointment. xx

Amy I only used it "properly" around ovulation time and as a lube at other times so didn't need much. I get quite dry (tmi alert!!! ) so I need to use something all the time and didn't want to risk using one that wouldn't work.

Northdown it's me who mentioned Evening Primrose oil. You take between 1500 and 3000 mg per day from first day of AF to ovulation.

It helps increase cervical mucus but you can't take past ovulation.
I also took cough medicine too - 4 times a day

Scan showed sac has passed but still quite a lot of blood and clots. I'm hardly bleeding at all now. Consultant is happy to go ahead with erpc tomorrow as planned. Don't know what to do.

guy any more info on why they thought you should still have an erpc when you've passed the sac? On my natural MC my advice was to wait until bleeding stopped and then get scanned again to check it was all gone (to make sure no infection). I only had an erpc on MC2 because the baby had only just died and they didn't know how long it would take to MC.

I think it's just because they can't be 100% sure that the sac and all tissue was passed intact- I think it was but I didn't look closely. They could still see something in there but couldn't be sure what it was. And it's already scheduled. I just don't know.
Those of you who had a similar experience (an acute labour-like quick and painful mc with sac passing), did you then have clots passing in the next few days? in hardly bleeding at all now so I have no idea if it will finish on its own. I was so hopeful that it was finished yesterday because it was just so intense. Anyone know statistically how likely it is that expectant management will result in incomplete?

guy I've only had surgical so have no advice really. Just wanted to give you a virtual hug. If you do end up going for surgical, like others I found it quite straight forward, physically. Thinking of you.

guy so sorry this is still going on. with both my mc I bled no worse than period b4 and after and had between 1-3 hours of flooding and passing tissue, this involved pain/ contractions then loss (I stayed near a toilet for that part). I did bleed on and off for over a week after though despite the scan had shown me to be 'empty' but with thickened lining.

Hi Guy I don't know if you saw on the other thread in the mc section but I have had further episodes since the main one on Saturday - none as painful but following the same pattern with contractions and then passing clots. One on Monday, then yesterday and today took me by surprise and I had to take the codydramol for the first time. I am hoping this means I have passed most of the leftover clots now.

I wasn't offered erpc as my scan showed just a few clots left and they thought I would pass them naturally. I was glad to avoid surgical management but I am not sure if it would have been preferable in some ways. Just want it to bloody end now.

guy I went through exactly the same, passed the sac and lots of clots the day before my erpc was scheduled, then a scan showed some tissue still in there. I felt like I wasn't really given a choice as to how to proceed, they simply said 'right, let's get you prepped for theatre then'.

With hindsight I really wish I'd just waited a little while longer to see if the rest would come out naturally. Even though it is a routine op there are risks involved, and as you've already come through the worst bit of the mc I would try and avoid surgery at all costs. (But that's probably just because I'm one of the unlucky ones who suffered some damage from the erpc...)

Guy I had a similar experience following medical management of my MMC. I only passed one small clot in hospital the had flooding and lots of tissue loss (didn't want to look) when I got home. I continued to bleed for 2 weeks and had a scan which showed retained tissue. I was scheduled an ERPC for a few days later and as mentioned previously, bleeding stopped within a day.
TMI alert... I noticed that the bleeding following the MMC had a dreadful smell and made me v self conscious. I now can't stand the smell of the shower gel that I was using at the time. With hind sight, I'd have gone straight for the ERPC.

I guess what I'm worried about is the fact that the scan didn't show retained tissue, it showed retained something. Possibly blood and clots. Possibly tissue. There was no blood flow to it.
Argh. I'll just go to my appointment tomorrow and talk everything over with consultant.

guy I don't have any advice to add but will be thinking of you tomorrow. X

guy when I had my natural MC I started bleeding on a monday, had a scan that day showing baby had died 2 weeks earlier, passed the clot tuesday, bled another couple of days then I had a followup scan on the Monday a week after it all started. They told me at that appt that if they could still see tissue I'd have had surgery but I was lucky and it was mostly clear, just a thickened lining.

There's no "right" answer... what all the other ladies have said are definitely the pluses and minuses, and no one can know what the "right" decision is. I imagine a lot of what is difficult for you right now is the limbo of not having made a decision or made it for you. In a lot of ways it's probably easier just to say "I'm going to do X" then move on, whichever decision it is. Indecision is a killer (I was still indecisive about the ERPC right up to the point they put me under, so by that point I was sobbing my guts out!) Sounds like talking it through with the consultant is a good plan, maybe see if you can get scanned again... even at an EPU or somewhere else.

Good luck hun, it's been such a sh*t time for you, I'm so sorry xx

No advice I'm afriad guy but lots of thoughts and hugs. For me, this mc was natural, I passed clots and sac at hospital outpatients but then just sent home, no follow up offered or scan and kept bleeding and passing clots for several days. If you're not sure, take time to talk to doc at appointment and see what they say. Try to get as much info as you can. Will be thinking of you.

I'm still feeling rubbish here, nearly 3 weeks of feeling ill and just can't tell what is virus and what is mc. Spotting and feeling poorly started 3 weeks ago today, main loss was 2 weeks ago tomorrow. I stopped bleeding at the weekend but now spotting again. Come on body, get a grip. I just can't stop thinking about these 2 mcs, it just keeps popping into my head at random times, in work meetings, so hard to focus. Right, think I need to take myself off for good talking to!

Positive thoughts ladies, these are tough days but we WILL get through and will get our BFPs and happy endings!

Guy the (mean) sonographer said I had "stuff" retained, I just called it tissue, not sure what it was. Thinking of you tomorrow xx

Waves at AlltheQueenshorses. Hope your appointment went well this afternoon. Do let us know how it went. Thinking of you

Thinking of you today Guy let us know how you get on x

How is everyone else this morning? I had a horrible change in mood yesterday and was angry and weepy for best part of the day, don't know why, I had been coping quite well and it just came out of nowhere! Emotionally feeling better again today, however I apologise in advance for TMI for I have the worst case of 'the runs' today I think I have ever had... and I have coeliac and IBS so that is saying something!! But I haven't had symptoms from both of them since before the baby so wonder where its came from... I'm hoping its cause my af is coming lol although I don't think I have ever heard of that as a symptom! Just wish it would turn up now, we want to get cracking ttc and its holding me back!

Chasing if you're reading this how are you doing? any progress with your levels coming down? x

Amyyy I have read through your previous posts (what a lovely positive person you sound) and I am not quite sure if you are 'in the running' or definitely just waiting for af so I don't want to say something insensitive but I had a random bout of diarrhoea at the very beginning of each of my pregnancies, before I knew I was pg. I guess it could just be IBS or a precursor to AF though.

By the way, is the wtf cycle the first cycle after mc? Does wtf just mean what it usually does?

After yesterday which was the worst since Saturday in terms of pain/clots, today I have very little blood and only a little soreness. So I am hopeful that this is coming to an end. I will wait until next week to test for a negative though as I think it will be hard to do.

I have still felt completely calm since it all happened apart from a couple of tears. Even when I got a letter about antenatal appts yesterday I just thought, ok better cancel that. I haven't left the house or spoken to anyone outside my family so maybe I just haven't had to face reality yet. I am thinking of going in to work this afternoon just to say hi as a sort of practice run for going back properly next week. It's only ten minutes away and a laid-back atmosphere (with a cafe!) so I think it would be ok to do that.

MsJupiter The wtf cycle is the what the fuck cycle the one straight after your miscarriage where your cycle is all over the place, it could be that its a really long cycle or you don't ovulate at the right time and your af doesn't arrive at the normal time either.

So atm I'm in my wtf cycle, its been a little over 4 weeks since my mc and I was hoping I would have had my af by last Wednesday (when in a normal cycle it would have been due) so that we could have had a BFP in time for Christmas.. I even had what I thought was a few af symptoms last week but then nothing has came of it. I don't think I could be pregnant again as I haven't had any ov symptoms after getting my BFN... I thought I had ov'd a couple of weeks ago but at that time I was still testing positive and have been told since then you can't ov if you still have HCG in your system. Although don't get me wrong I would embrace this diahrrea if I thought it could be another pregnancy!! But sadly I highly doubt that. I wouldn't even know when to test but will give it at least another 2 weeks. From what I've heard it can take 4-6 weeks for af to arrive.

Ps sorry about the letters :( It must be different depending where you are from my hospital 'conviscated' all my pregnancy notes and cancelled all appointments so I wouldn't get that although it was a bit too late for my 12w scan letter which I got the day after my mc... but great to hear you took it well. Sounds like a good plan to visit your work!

Had erpc this morning. Consultant was very certain that it was the right thing to do as there was still a large amount of stuff in there. I was so so scared but it was fine. All over. Just resting now.

I suppose it is a bit unfortunate that I mostly miscarried naturally because that labour experience was so intense and yet I had to have surgery anyway. But I have taken something positive from it. During labour with dd two years ago, I didn't progress well and my cervix took agrees to dilate. They eventually had to induce me so I contracted better. I felt like a failure for a long time after and wondered why my body didn't do what it was supposed too.

During my actual mc this week, my contractions were very intense and grew in strength. They got closer together and extremely painful and then the sac was pushed out. Exactly how labour should be. I breathed through it and it was really hard.
Basically my uterus knew exactly what to do and it did it really well. It contracted quickly and efficiently.

I feel empowered by that experience and actually more as peace about my labour with dd. The trust I lost in my body after my labour has been regained.

Sorry, not sure if any of that makes sense. But I guess I have taken something positive from this whole awful experience.

MrsJ I hope it's all over for you too. I'm glad you are feeling calm about it all.

Amyy I would imagine the body doesn't ovulate if there is still hcg but I don't know. Must be so confusing. Is all very well saying 'relax' but of course in reality, it's impossible! I guess I'll be joining you in the wtf cycle now. I think we might hold off on ttc for a cycle. I just think I need a month or so where the world doesn't revolve around my uterus! I guess we'll see how we feel and probably start after Christmas. I would imagine I won't be very relaxed about it all so good to just take a month to breathe for me after everything that has gone on. Hope it's ok if I still hang out here though.

Can anyone else see this or do I totally have line eye?!