ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

Hi eggs, he is on medication for MS that he injects weekly. There has only been one mouse study and one primate study on the effect of beta interferon on sperm production. The mouse study showed a decrease in fertility, the primate showed no impact - so I think the generally advice is that is shouldn't impact but it might.

I rang the GP surgery just to check they weren't back and they're not. So it's just a waiting game generally now.

I'm sitting outside my acupuncturists house, I'm 30 mins early and am dreading the appointment as I just know I will cry, which is so duckibg embarrassing and humiliating. She is lovely but I don't want to keep feeling so depressed over this. My god anyone would think I was terminally ill the state of my face most days.

Hi MsJupiter
Sorry you're finding yourself here... in terms of sex I was advised I could start again when the bleeding had stopped, and I was feeling physically & emotionally ready. Waiting until the bleeding has stopped is important to try to avoid getting any infections (the absolute last thing you need right now!) so also avoid baths if you can. Try to give it a couple of days or a week until the smoke clears, so to speak - honestly it's hard to know what you want in the first couple of days, after my MC1 I was DESPERATE to get preg again, then I had AF and suddenly turned to DH and said "sorry I can't do this right now" so we waited another month.

Welcome jupiter and sorry you are here. As others have said there is no reason to wait till AF however I would wait until you have a negative pregnancy test (you can still show positive for a while after MC until the hormones clear out of your system) before DTD as it can be very upsetting if you then get a positive and dont know if it's old or new hormones.

I haven't tried soy so will let some of the other ladies who have give their advice but I personally wouldnt try anything like that in the first cycle after miscarriage and just let your body have a chance to stabilise and get back to 'normal' - although for many 'normal' is different to what it was before.

Un-mumsnetty huys newera. Thunderously bad mood explains my state of mind a lot too. You do need the patience of a saint. It goes on and on and is so interminably slow. I feel like I am either waiting to OV or waiting for AF. You might not have a terminal illness but you are dealing with one of the most stressful things life can throw at you and losing a baby/contemplating not being able to get pregnant with another one would rate pretty highly in my book of 'Awfully shit things to have to deal with' so be kind to yourself. And don't beat yourself up for wanting to cry to your acupuncturist, am sure she has seen it all before.

I'm really sorry about bfn northdown

Nothing to report here. Ordered a stockpile of OPks and am going to try preseed this month. Have realised I will be getting AF/BFP on Christmas Eve - gulp.

Hi Jupiter So sorry you find yourself here :( As everyone else has said, I was only told not to have sex until the bleeding had stopped. I had medical management of a mmc (like you my 6w scan showed no problems but 10w scan showed baby had died shortly after the first scan) I bled for 2 weeks and did not test negative until 3 weeks later. I agree with Monten its best to get a BFN before ttc

North Sorry about the BFN :(

Monten Whats preseed? Have seen a few people mention it.

Gahh af hasn't showed up today! That's my xmas eve BFP out the window!(although that was a very long shot!) and I probably wont get my BFP this year :(

Lots of sad faces there sorry! To make things happier I'm almost done Christmas shopping :D and we also have a trip to the lake district next weekend that I'm super excited for! My mam paid for us to go away as a sort of break to get away from the mc... so that should be nice :)

Thats lovely amy and very organised! Today I got a present for DS and me and OH finally commited to buying a new mattress! We're sh!t at decision making. We were saying you really need to try a mattress out for all its uses so were giggling like school kids.

Confirmed booking for erpc on Friday. Bleeding like a moderate period and have period type pain in my back (always get my period pain there- and contractions there when in labour with dd too) so going it might happen on its own before Friday.
Sorry I'm boring- I seem to come on here and say the same things every day. Now at 2 weeks since discovery of mmc and 5 weeks since pregnancy stopped developing. Nearly over now.
So sorry to those with bfn. Sucks.

Hey all sorry for not posting for a while... I've been trying failing miserably to not obsess about TTC

Sorry to see you here jupiter I hope your stay is short and that you and your family are ok (or as ok as you can be!)

I was also told to wait a cycle but didn't... Didn't work anyway though. Now in cycle 2 since mc and 9dpo and gazing longingly at my FRER

amyy woohoo to finishing Christmas shopping! I'm nowhere near :( too busy! Preseed is a fertility friendly lube that's meant to help the swimmers :) we've used it for the first time this cycle with softcups :)

eggs hehee too the bed story, made me smile :)

guy My heart goes out to you :( it's such a horrible time, big hugs and you can say the same thing every hour if it makes you feel better!

to all x

amyyy that's so nice of her! Have a lovely time. It's funny, I got a bunch of gifts after our 2nd mc, mum sent a fortnum & mason hamper (wtf?) and my dad sent me a jo malone candle! Apparently luxury goods ease pain :/

guy never worry about coming and saying whatever's on your mind. We understand!

Guy I'm pleased that you've got a date for your ERPC. I had one at the end of October and really knew nothing about it. There was a lot of waiting around, I remember being put under anaesthetic then waking up in recovery. I came home, went to bed fully clothed for a snooze and woke up 13hrs later! My bleeding was v light and only lasted one day after. It might be an idea to take a cozy cardi with you, the Misprostol that they give you pre op made me feel v cold.
Take care, it'll be all done by the weekend. Xx

Hey all - so sorry about all the BFN's - it's shit.

Guy so glad your ERPC is confirmed. Once it's over you'll feel stronger almost as soon as anaesthetic wears off. The pain and bleeding will pretty much stop overnight. It really is the best option and I'd absolutely have another one again if needed.

Welcome Jupiter so sorry you are here. Yes absolutely you can DTD before AF turns up, just wait until bleeding stops. I also echo others in saying you must do a test to get a bfn before trying again. Stops any further heartbreak.

Amy I'm a preseed gal! Used it when I got all 3 of my BFP's - but actually looking back only when I used it properly... You can buy it from Amazon, it's about £17 and it's fertility friendly lube. Ky and durex lube aren't and can't be used.

Anyway you can just use it as lube or it comes with applicators. When I got a positive opk I used the applicator to insert it before DTD.

I've also taken cough medicine this month (needs to contain guafesin - shit spelling!!!) so medicine for a chesty cough. I also took 2,000 mg of evening primrose oil per day from cd 1 to ovulation.

And well. For the time being it's worked. But we'll see

Pains turned very severe- exactly like my labour with dd. Came very regularly for a couple of hours- almost unbearable. Then passed lots of clots and finally what I can only assume was the sac. Pains stopped immediately.
I think it's over. Thank goodness. Scan tomorrow to check. Feeling weak and wobbly but relieved.
Ladies, you are all incredibly brave and strong to have been through this. Thank you for all the support through this part of the process. I'm glad I found you all.

Thanks for all your kind words ladies. In the end I went back to work on Monday - on Sunday night I kind of snapped out of my very weepy and emotional state, and felt like I'd be better off being back in my normal route. So far it is working, although I feel very drained from the bleeding and cramps, but my boss is being very understanding and letting me work from home all this week.

Saw my GP yesterday and told him about my 2 cps in a row - to my surprise he was actually very proactive and didn't just dismiss it. Although he did say they are very common. He is sending me for general bloods (to check for thyroid issues mainly as I am very overweight, although I was checked a year ago and was fine) and then in my next normal cycle (eg January) wants me to do a day 23 progesterone test. Anyone done that?

Tbh it was such a relief that he didn't tell me I must be imagining it. I have been really doubting my sanity sometimes going through this - especially as my mum (bless her) thinks home pregnancy tests are really inaccurate and my BFPs don't mean anything. I guess 30 years ago maybe they were!

Guy I am glad you've got the ERPC booked, thinking of you and hope you can soon put this behind you.

Jupiter sorry you find yourself here.

Guy that sounds awful! you must have been very shaken. What a relief that it's over. Take care and sleep well. X
lucy it sounds like your boss is being very understanding.
Jupiter so sorry to hear about what you're going through. The midwife that I saw just before my ERPC said not to waste anytime and to start trying again ASAP. I'd avoid the soy in the short term just to allow your cycle to normalise.

Does anyone else ever just feel like you're not going to ever carry a successful pregnancy and have a lovely bump and newborn? Sorry for the negativity but just having a very crappy evening where I feel like it's never going to happen for DH and I :'(

Sorry all, haven't had much chance to read back. So sorry guy :( sending hugs.

Been out on a course today and had to listen to people talk about being pregnant/having babies/wanting babies.
Someone had got to 2 weeks pregnant and had no clue.
Got home and our neighbour was waiting for us to have a go about our heating being loud.

She said it was keeping her up at night... We're sleeping?
Turned it off cus im not in the mood to argue with her and british gas are coming Friday.

Means we will be cold til they've sorted it.
Gah.
Sorry for the moan, didn't realise how annoyed I was til I started typing!

guy sorry you've had to go through that honey but at least it's over with. Let us know how your scan goes tomorrow. We will be thinking of you and seding hugs xx

Haha eggs I hope there was no mattress testing in store!! But great excuse to dtd, test those springs out! Lol

Charlie it's funny what goes through peoples heads... I was first offered a day at the salon to get my hair and nails done! Because a change of hair and some nail varnish was just what I needed.. I know they have good intentions but .. you know lol

Ahh thanks daisy and brummie will have to get some! And yes daisy I feel like that a lot of the time, and don't think that will go away until I have a baby in my arms!

Still no damn af! The one time I want the bloody thing to come! Although saying there has been a few twinges and funny tummy feelings so may be on it's way soon.

daisy I think we all feel like that at times. But every single woman I know in real life who's had more than one MC has also had successful pregnancies. It's a special kind of hard when you're trying for the first. I know it's a bit of a cliche, but we're still doing way better others who can't even get pregnant. I have friends who've done everything: IVF, even donor eggs and still have never even fallen pregnant - I can't imagine the heartbreak. Acknowledge what you're going though, but remember that even after all this the stats are on your side. Hugs xx

Is preseed just to be used as a lube? Or does it have any other magical powers that will get me pregnant? Lol x

It's supposed to emulate cervical mucous and encourage the sperm on its way. I used it to get pg with DS and used Conceive Plus with the pregnancy I just lost.

Thanks for all the support and advice. I am looking forward to the bleeding being over so I can start to move on.

guy big hugs. It's awful to have to go through. I hope todays scan shows everything has passed.
lucy its great your dr is doing something now.
daisy I think we all feel/ have felt that way - charlie post sums it up well - and right now all we can see is pregnant women and babies. All the women with children in my department have had at least 1 mc at some point. So unfair but sadly so common.
Hoping for bumper babies for us all next year!

Ah right thanks MsJupiter :) h

Hope you're bleeding stops soon x