ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

Well test still showing positive so going to ring epac in the morning see if I can get some bloods done , still confused x

Haven't caught up on all the posts yet but just wanted to say Guybrush though my mum's situation is different to your dad's, she was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and it was awful coming not long after the mc. It is horrible having to give people bad news instead of good news especially at a time when they really need nice things to think about. Thinking of you x

I'm just so angry today. Sat doing another test today, which was a BFN as expected as its my WTF cycle, we weren't really trying, and I'm only 12 DPO.
But I was just hit by a rage I've never felt before. I should be 8/9 weeks pregnant now, I should have had my first midwife appointment, I should be gearing up ready for our 12 week scan and I'm not I should not be sat here peeing on sticks when I was already pregnant just a few weeks ago.

I haven't felt like this before.

Sorry everybody is having such a tough time, especially for Stocking, BB01 and Guy.

Mummy definitely get in touch with epu tomorrow, I really hope it's the result you want.

Haribo, I got a bfp on a frer from superdrug at 11dpo. They are definitely the tests to get. Will keep everything crossed for you and keep checking in.

Oh guy - I'm so very sorry to hear of your dad. How are you today? Please do not feel any guilt. Miscarriages are a cruel twist in our life's journey and not something we can blame ourselves for. I hope you are ok.

treacle I've been thinking of you. I lit a candle for all our lost little ones on Christmas day. (I hope that's ok and does not upset any of you) .. I thought of you especially treacle.

I am on cd 13 and am feeling ov pains from my left tube. The mass was on my right so presumably I'm ovulating on opposite side as should be (?) I'm so grateful for this. I wasn't ovulating for almost a year so I'm so glad I am. Though I'm struggling with the idea that we can't try right now. Feels like wasted chances - though logistically I know I'd be simply tempting another mc.

I'm gearing up to try March cycle. . Sticking to the 3 month methotrexate rule +1 for luck. Bloody hard though. I refuse to take contraception (see ovulation problem) and dh doesn't get on well with condoms so it's a case of not getting carried away here

Guy , I understand how you feel. My mother in law died on 4th Dec (cancer) and her funeral was on Monday, me and DH were so happy when we found out we were expecting a baby, especially because we thought we'd be able to tell her she'd be a grandma. Now she's gone and we'll never be able to do that. Hope so much 2015 has a hello, sick of goodbyes

To everyone having an utterly shit time right now.

Once AF arrives, which I think she will, I'm planning to order more OPKs and a BBTT and get a little bit more militant about this TTC thing. If I'd never conceived I would still be very relaxed about the whole thing, but I just want a baby and I already had to hang around 18 months longer than I actually wanted to. Sigh.

Back into see the Nurse on Wednesday to double check this UTI has gone, fingers crossed, these antibiotics have knocked me for six over the festive period.

AF arrived on Boxing Day and it's fit me thinking. My periods now are very different to before my MC. I used to have about 5d not too heavy. Now it's 2d quite heavy with a few clots, and a day or 2very light possibly even just spotting.
I've been wondering if this could be a symptom of my lining being too thin?
Been trying for 5 months now and previously always caught within 2 months of trying, and that was without all the time tabling and POAS.

I've decided to make an appointment with the doc for February. that'll be six months of trying and since I'll be 40 in March yhetes really no time to wait.
Anyone got any tips on what I should be asking? Hormone checks at various days in the month, an ultrasound to check uterine lining thickness... Anything else?

Ah, I can feel the dull achey throb in my stomach, I'm sure AF is on her way.

north I'd say February is a reasonable time to expect the GP to start investigating what (if anything) is/isn't happening, but I have no clue of what to ask for I'm afraid.

I'm afraid I haven't yet RTFT but can I jump aboard? We're TTC # 2 but have had two miscarriages over the last 18 mos. I had another MC before our DD and my lovely GP sent me for recurrent MC testing despite it not being 3 in a row because there is a lot of miscarriage in the maternal line. All tests were clear, other than a small serious cyst and a single small fibroid.

Anyway, we're back on the TTC wagon. 1 dpo and already driving myself crazy. Meh.

guy so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I'm up and down on ttc anyway without the added pressure of serious illness around you

stocking I know how you feel. Yesterday I was at an indoor event and saw a lady with a lovely little bump and I was thinking 'I should have one too'. Rather unusually for me however, I took a positive from it and went on rides 'unsuitable for pregnant women'

chasing glad it looks like you're ovulating again even though you can't ttc yet.

northdown not sure what else you could for.

lazyrohazy a sad welcome. Is it a serous ovarian cyst? Have they drained it?

Its hard taking a 'laid back' approach to TTC. I'm finding myself trying to work out AF and when I could test but no real symptoms - still got tingly nipples from b4 mc and I have had some heartburn but have been overindulging!

gr33dy I've done similar - was sat feeling mopey about the MC, so decided to go raid the fridge for the stuff I would have avoided if I'd been pregnant, and used that to cheer me up till I get on the scales then I'll be sad haha

Jeez. Ovulation is PAINFUL ... anyone had this first cycle after mc/eptopic?

chasing I had very bad pain for about 5 days in the wtf cycle. I was panicking it might be an ectopic after reading your history. Not even sure I did ovulate in the end.

Sorry to hear so many people are having a hard time

I'm afraid I'm not going to add much sunshine and happiness.

My grandad had cancer a couple of years ago and a scan has revealed some more growths.

I feel so depressed. The job I'm doing currently does not occupy me mentally at all which just leads to dark thoughts but I'm dreading going back to my old job because I kind of feel like I've lost 'it'. I'm not myself anymore, I'm just this timid failure. I don't think I could deal with the physical nature or the aggression let alone the hostility that is now flowing down from senior management.

I got upset because we didn't DTD last night even though we've been doing it nearly every night since I stopped bleeding. Different apps are telling me I'm fertile at different times. I have this irrational fear I'll never be pregnant again and I know I'll breakdown if my period arrives.

I'm mentally drained and physically exhausted. I've been starting work at 0630hrs and then going to my mums all evening because I don't want to be on my own when DH is working so I'm not sleeping at all.

I loathe my body. It's become soft and bloated because I'm comfort eating. To top it all off the acne that popped up on my chest and neck still isn't getting better.

I just don't know what to do. I don't remember what it is to be me anymore. I'm lost

gr33dy No, they aren't suggesting any treatment for the cyst and seem wholly unconcerned by it. I've basically been told to go away and come back when I'm pregnant so they can scan me at 7 wks. Now I just have to actually get pregnant.

According to temp and OPKs I've ovulated 2 days later than usual this month so now I'm paranoid my luteal phase won't be long enough (10 days ish).

Hi everybody, I've just came over here after being recommended to do so on my own thread. I had a mc on Xmas day at 11 weeks. I spent last night and this morning poring over this thread and I feel so much better knowing I'm not as alone as I felt before.
I desperately want to start ttc straight away (even during my wtf cycle since I've read on this thread that many do) but I am afraid dh won't agree.
Has any body else had to convince their dh?
Sorry for everybody's losses and thanks so much for all sharing your stories xx

Still getting BFN 12dpo on the super drug FRER so losing hope for this cycle :( i just want to be pregnant! I couldn't even bring myself to hold DP's 3 month old niece over the weekend, it just felt unbearable.

epskie so sorry to hear about your MC, especially over Christmas you poor thing. Would a good long chat about how you feel maybe help DH to come round to the idea of TTC? I've been lucky with DP, he's never needed any persuasion so i'm sorry you've got that to deal with too. We didn't catch on my WTF but i did help me to be doing something by TTC during it. Although that first period was very very difficult.

snoopy you really need to look after yourself, you've been through a big trauma and have a lot on your plate. Could it be worth speaking to your GP about some counselling? Are you talking to anyone in RL about how you feel?

Hi epskie. So sorry for your loss and what a horrid experience to have at christmas.

My DH was the same, I wanted to try straight away after the MC but he was more cautious. At the time I was devastated and I just wanted to replace the baby we'd lost, looking back I can see why DH wanted to wait. As it turned out it took 4 months for AF to come back anyway so we're just ttc again now. Every couple is different so really you need to have a blunt and honest conversation with him, which is so hard when your emotions are all over the place.

So sorry for your loss epskie, an awful thing to happen at any time but Christmas sucks.

Haribo so disappointed for you hon, I was convinced this was your month. I just know it will happen soon for you but that doesn't help right now. Hope you are ok.

haribo I feel exactly the same. 13DPO and AF due to arrive tomorrow and still getting BFNs on my One Step tests but I've read some reviews on the One Step tests and it would seem they are utter shite and people have had weeks of BFNs with them and then used ClearBlue Digi or FRER and got BFPs and been further along than they though due to the BFNs on One Step... So they may be wrong?!

**

epskie DH had to talk me into TTC in the first place - I was so wobbly, back and forth, then got PG then MCd - and its sealed my decision - I want a baby with my DH. However. Since the MC, we have drifted a little. (Physically, I mean) due to a UTI and the antibs making me feel gross, we've only DTD three times this cycle and it was three days in a row, all over OPK+ days. I had decided to leave it a month or two and get the Pill, then decided I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of it, and we both just sort of decided to continue but not really talk about it head in sand for us both I suspect

I am suddenly desperate to ttc. I was uncertain so we left it for this month but I definitely want to get started after my period- which should be in the next few days. Glad we left it for the wtf month. I found the mc (discovered at 9 weeks, mc at 11 weeks then erpc a few days later) physically very traumatic so hoping my body has healed.
DH and I have had a couple of days away with dd at mil's. I miss her so much I ache. It has really clarified for me that I want another baby and I want it soon. I have felt so unsure since the mc. I even felt like it might have been the right thing because I reacted with such shock and fear when I got the bfp.
Sorry and welcome to the new people.
Want my period so I can start ttc now. Conceived second month first time and first month this recent time so might get my hopes up that it will happen quickly.
Such a fucking rollercoaster. None of us deserve to be here. No one bloody does. But it is what it is I guess.