ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

I laboured for my mc as well. The stupid woman at epu said it would be fine to go to work as it would be just like a heavy period. Thank goodness I didn't listen because it was exactly like labour with dd (except just a couple of hours rather than 3 days). Heavy period my arse.

I have just cried reading your post broody. So beautiful.

My MC was 4-5 weeks and even at that stage it was not like a heavy period, I had severe cramping for half an hour on day 2 and had a clot/sac about the size of a 50p come out of me and I can't begin to imagine what it would be like further along so to you all.

BB01 don't worry, i took your post as explaining your experience completely and it wasn't insensitive, i hope mine came across the same way. Although we all have the common pain of MC, each one of our experiences is different but counts just the same. It absolutely helps to share, especially as in RL when i tell people i'm still weepy they just start talking about TTC again.

I wish i'd been warned that i'd labor, i didn't expect it. I expected a heavy bleed, really bad advice to tell you to go to work Guy.

Oh phew Haribo that's good, I think I'm being super paranoid this week, sorry! I am currently sitting on my hands trying not to text a friend who I think is pg but isn't telling me for fear of upsetting me or perhaps isn't past 12 weeks yet and I logically know I can't prise it out of her but I just want to know so I can get all the out the way.

It is awful when you just expect bad period pain. I can imagine it'd be even worse further on or if you had more to pass than me but even I struggled with it.

It started late Monday night and my DDs ended up having Thursday and Friday off school as nobody else to do the school runs 3x a day and I was so physically and mentally worn out by that point I just couldn't handle it. On the Tuesday it was the midwife drop in day so lots of heavily pregnant women but fortunately I was only sat there for a few minutes.

to everyone.

I had a blighted ovum and had medical management last Saturday. Bled heavily til Wednesday and passed some huge clots, but luckily have not been in as much pain as some of you have. I am currently performing in a show and have also had to work every single day. Dead on my feet does not cut it!!

Want it all to be over so I can try again.

Also, BB01 I know exactly how you feel about mourning the potential of a baby, rather than the baby itself. Fingers crossed for us next time x x x

I know what you mean ladies. I had no idea of the pain id be in.
I can only imagine it was labour pain. I was 8+5 when I passed the majority and it was a fully grown sac and a yolk sac.
I was in intense pain which I wasn't prepared for.
Worst pain ive ever been in.

I dunno how I'm gonna manage xmas eve :(
I feel like I've been on hold between miscarriage and due date.

So sorry to hear that Creme. Look after yourself if you possibly can x

I also had no idea it would be anything other than a heavy bleed. I went from sitting in A&E and every few minutes having a crampy feeling, to being on my hands and knees in a side room trying to breathe through the pain and suddenly my mum said, it's like you're having contractions - which of course I was. DS was born by CS so I hadn't experienced labour before and I had no idea how bad it would get or what would happen next. Ended up ripping half my clothes off and bellowing like a cow until it suddenly stopped. Shortly after that they took me up to the ward and I felt an urge to go to the loo and passed the sac. In hindsight it all made sense and my body did what it needed to do very efficiently, but it was terrifying as I had no idea what was happening. None of the doctors or nurses explained either.

I keep wanting to say to people, but you don't understand, I had to give birth to it! I still find it quite shocking. It is interesting that so many of you have had similar experiences but it's not widely understood that (pre-12w) mc can happen like this.

creme welcome x sorry you find yourself here.

Can only nod my head in agreement. . I never expected to labour at only 8wks. I spent about 6 hrs straight from midnight onwards labouring the same way I did with dd. Thankfully I recognised it immediately even though I was caught of guard and felt like I remained in control, but afterwards I felt a little bit scared over what happened. Was in no way like a heavy period and I really wish I hadn't told dh to just go to work. :-/

I was like you too, MsJ and treacle. Mini labours with both mc. Needed very strong prescription pain killers with the first.
I'm feeling a lot better again today. I just think it must have been having to go through it all again at the complaint meeting bringing all emotions to the surface.
Anyway, OH dragged me upstairs on my return yesterday to 'put a smile on my face' and I have EWCM today so guess I'm heading toward a 2ww (or likely 17 days).

Hows everyone else doing today?

Here just isn't enough information about what I expect. I was given painkillers but they did nothing for the pain for about half an hour before I past the baby. I was on all fours on the bed in agony and I also had a CS with DS so was scary for me and DP. The only 'good' thing that came from it is that I'm sure I'm going to push for a VBAC when we do conceive.

eggs I'm with you on the 2WW, I ovulated on Thursday. Fingers crossed for us both!

Sorry for the typos! 'There just isn't enough information about what to expect'.

I can really relate to all this. DH was meant to be going to work the day I passed everything.
The pain started in the early hours of the morning and by 5 am I couldn't cope with it. Painkillers weren't helping. When I went to the hospital they gave me co-codamol but by that point I'd passed nearly everything.

I had no idea it was contractions until DH pointed it out.
I'm getting a bit down now thinking I shouldve been giving birth in 4 days :(

Having read your posts I couldn't imagine going through your experiences and it makes me feel more grateful I had an erpc, even if the hospital were crap.

I got upset watching eastenders last night, that should have been me walking around with a copy of my scan by now.

I said to DH that the hardest thing for me recently has been having to refer to the lost little one as 'it' because we will never know if they were a boy or girl. Our child wasn't an 'it' to us.

I think I might be entering the 2ww now, but who knows?!

((treacle))

Thank you xxx

Right, positivity.
DH and i are going to toast our lost Little Seed on xmas eve with a large glass of brandy and then get right to ttc.
:)

snoopy I said the same thing to DP about wanting to know the gender. I always say 'the baby' not 'it'. I hate 'it', so impersonal and not how I feel about my baby.

treacle I'll clink you from afar :)

OMG Girls, a miracle has happened!! I have a second line at 8/9dpo on a 25miu test with wee in the middle of the day. I couldn't actually be more gobsmacked

Thanks Haribo :)
It does appear that I've got an infection though :( think it might be vaginosis again. I hope not as I don't want antibiotics over xmas.

Massive congrats Newera! :)

Congrats! A good positive for this time of day. Wishing you a thoroughly uneventful 8 months.

Congratulations

AHHHHHHHHH NEWERA! amazing. Congratulations!!

Treacle that sounds fab. .toast little bean and get excited for the future. Xxx xxxx

We always say "the baby" ... "when we lost the baby/our baby"

Weirdly my gut feels they would have been a little girl. I thought about naming but for some reason I didn't like that so my baby is a star and that what I think/imagine/resonate with. If that makes sense.