ttc after mc- the best shit place to be! #2

[chasingtherainbow]

Roll up roll up... onto a new thread. Keep those lucky bfp' s coming and unmumsnetty hugs all round.

December is the month of food in our home

*food comas

Haha yes its totally impossible to lose weight over Christmas! Thats fact ;)

Aww don't get me wrong our families were so amazing when we lost our baby and I will probably end up spilling the beans straight away! but it was heartbreaking telling our parents we had lost their first grandchild. So.. we will see... I was thinking of paying for an early scan the next time as I don't think I could wait til 12w!

DP want's us to keep it quiet until 12 weeks if/when we conceive again too. He's agreed to let me tell my parents as they would have DS for appointments etc. I'll tell my closet girlfriends too but it's totally up to him what he tells his family.

I'm struggling to lose the baby weight from DS and he's 14 months! Oops.

Thanks everyone - what a lovely, friendly group and also for the wise words re age gaps etc.

Stocking of course you are not being greedy and I am sure nobody would see it that way. Yes it might be different TTC when you don't have any kids but that doesn't mean it's not full of heartache and anxiety sometimes when you already have DC.

Hi Fi! Nice to see you again though hope we're both on the 'Pregnant after miscarriage' thread soon instead (if there is one!). Do hope you are doing ok. It's tough isn't it, I think Christmas kind of makes things all more intense. In one way it makes you very glad for what you already have in your life but you kind help thinking how lovely it'd be too be pg at Christmas too.

Haribo I couldn't hide it from my girls either. We will see what happens. Im due to poas on Christmas Eve so it will be a difficult time to keep quiet! Also a difficult time to get a BFN too.

Oh I so hope we get some good news next week its been such a shitty year!

I don't think it's physically possible for me to lose weight over Christmas haha.

One of my colleagues has gone to my line manager on my behalf and told him I need more time in an office role to get over things. Why do I even care what people think?

I don't want to upset or offend anyone but for the past couple of days I can't shake this awful feeling that I've left it too late to have a baby. Logically I know this is ridiculous, I'm 29, but I keep thinking that I have a loving husband, we have a lovely home, had our perfect wedding and the honeymoon of a lifetime and I've used up all the luck I'm going to have in my lifetime. I've wanted to be a mum for such a long time, maybe I should have just gotten pregnant straight away and not bothered with all the 'extras'.

I know I'm going to be devastated if I don't get pregnant quickly and I'm scared of those feelings. Even if it does happen I don't think I'll even be able to acknowledge being pregnant because it could all end the same horrible way.

Sorry this is so long and rambling, I just feel lost.

Snoopy, happiness isn't finite. There's plenty of it coming to you.

snoopy I know how you feel, I relate, and I completely agree with guy too. Its effing hard!

I've just come back from the GPs with a script for 500mg Amoxicillin for a UTI. 3 a day for a week. I usually get thrush when I take antibs, but I've never taken any this strong or for 7 days before. GAH. My lady bits are clearly rebelling against me this month

Oh no stocking!!! They've started giving me different things to anoxicillin as I've had it too much :p
Get well soon!

snoopy, i know how you feel. I wanted to be pregnant at 23. Ended up getting married later than planned and got pregnant just before my 24th bday. Then miscarried on my 24th bday. Now I'll be at least 25 when baby comes.
We've struggled for money and ttc was a bit of a worry, now there's light at the end of the tunnel but it's all worthless without the baby i wanted/want.

stocking I get thrush loads and was once advised to have those yakult yogurt drinks while on ABs to stop thrush - they seem to work too. Actually I should probably have them every day. ...

DH is 30, I'm 28. He says he doesn't want to deal with teenagers in his 50's! I was 21, almost 22 when I had my eldest DD, and had just turned 24 when I had my youngest DD. When he annoys me I threaten to have a "whoops" baby when I'm 45 so he has to deal with a teenager in his 60's mean wife

llama for the love of God PEE ON A STICK!

I had 7 OPKs+ in a row and then thought so POAS and got a positive.

snoopy - Guy is so right! This WILL happen for you. And it will be bliss yo hold your baby in your arms, this will all be so worth it. Hold on In there xxxx

stocking ..do you think you could give up for good? ...you quit and i'll diet? .. let's do it for our children and future babies. X

I've been ridiculously full of Christmas cheer today... lots of ROAK and festive fun. I'm beginning to see the light. I feel like I'm slowly pulling myself out of this dark hole.

X

snoopy i totally understand what you mean but you will have a baby. Your young, it will happen, it'l just take a little longer than you thought. We had DS before all the extras (happy accident - can hardly believe they happen!) and i miss that we didn't get the extra's but we've decided to have a 2nd before thinking about the extra's. You'll appreciate you did all those things when you've got a baby in your arms i promise.

envious i started testing at 4 weeks post MC in my WTF cycle, AF showed up at 5 weeks. No harm in testing is there! All those positive OPKs could mean a positive test, i pee'd on an OPK before buying a pregnancy test with the baby we lost.

Chasing so pleased to hear your starting to feel a little better. It's hard to pull yourself out of the fog, and the fog sometimes descends again but i hope you can have a lovely Christmas with your family:)

AAARRGGHH! After talking about water infections earlier, I think I've got one. I hope not :( I'd been doing so well not getting them and really don't want antibiotics over xmas.

Well I must be ancient. 35 next and OH 45 :-o

I'm 36! Way past it!

Greedy and purplegiraffe you are most certainly past it!

I didn't mean to offend anyone, it's just every time I open a newspaper or turn on the tv there seems to be some nonsense about women not being able to have it all or leaving it too late because they were too busy getting an education or working or just generally enjoying life like a normal human being should and it makes me so anxious. It's so unfair and unnecessary, I know most of these statistics are crap anyway that are based on a French census from centuries ago.

Treacle I once projectile vomited at a gp when my uti turned into a kidney infection, not my finest hour!

OMG that should read NOT PAST IT, (I've been up since before five, probably should go to bed!)

Oh god am I the youngest here? 23 next month. Hubby is 28 not long after.

I keep hearing "your so young" .."you've got time" "you've so much time to have as many babies as you want"! .. I'm not sure why these phrases are used since I'm 99% sure I've never said anything to imply I think any different, I certainly don't dispute that they are indeed true facts. . . But I still wanted this baby. The idea that I can (and will hopefully!) Have another and I have age on my side is indeed a lovely notion which is in my favour but offers no comfort for the pain a miscarriage causes no matter at what stage in life. It feels on a par with someone who cannot have any more children- "but you've got your other children" -I'm sure they are incredibly thankful for the children they have, but does their existence mean that person cannot grieve what won't be? ... The longing for a child is such a strong, primal instinct. You simply cannot squash it with logic and reason.

I simply smile and thank them for their well meaning concern. It's difficult navigating these murky waters in the aftermath of our losses isn't it?

LOL!! snoopy massive fail... Especially with how your 2nd paragraph starts.... hilarious!